For the second time in 4 years, I will be watching the Oscars in a hotel room by myself. The last time was 2022 and the slap heard round the world gave the proceedings a charged, chaotic energy that the awards had been missing since Parasite’s win in 2020.
In honor of tonight’s ceremony, I’m bringing back one of my most popular segments, Oscar Thoughts.
1. No amount of counter argument will make me believe that 2024 wasn’t a down year for movies. It’s 100% because of the writer’s and actors’ strikes that crippled the industry in 2023 and frankly, we’re still feeling the effects of stateside.
2. Dune II was the best movie of last year and it was never taken seriously as a contender. Therefore, I’m not taking this year’s show seriously. Will I watch? Yes, I want to see how it all shakes out but when the best movie of the year isn’t in serious contention, mentally, I’m out.
3. If Anora wins, I’ll have friends who worked on back to back Best Picture winners and I believe it will be the first Oscar movie to have multiple scenes of nude twerking.
4. By January 1st, I’m pretty much done watching screeners and ready to move on to Dumpuary gold like Den of Thieves: Pantera. 2025 has proven to be no different as I never sat down for 7 hours and watched The Brutalist. Sorry, Brady. I’ve worked with you on The Crowded Room and met you on a commercial for Josh Mond and the borderline crew years ago. You’re a great director and I’m happy you have a legit chance to win an Oscar.
5. Regardless of all the terrible tweets the lead actress of Emilia Perez sent, that was a daring, exciting musical soap opera that could have been 5 stars without some of the questionable song choices. Please give Zoe Saldana the Oscar she deserves.
6. Though I haven’t seen I’m Still Here, are we really trying to say Demi Moore’s performance in The Substance was better than Mikey Madison? Really? Cue up the Tim Robinson meme please. That said, I was rooting for Demi because of her amazing career arc and I really enjoyed The Substance but an Anora rewatch forced me to re-evaluate Madison’s work and she gave the best performance of 2024.
7. No Best Supporting nod for Denzel for Gladiator 2? Yes, the CGI animals are ridiculous and the movie never quite gels like fans of the original wanted it to but Denzel carries that movie and is exceptional in it.
8. Even with that notoriously bad ending, Conclave deserves Best Screenplay. That or September 5, which probably isn’t nominated (checking… it is nominated!). Okay, now having checked the nominations, Conclave deserves Best Adapted Screenplay and September 5th Best Original Screenplay.
9. Though I didn’t love the overall film, Nosferatu deserves a lot of the below the line and technical awards. Cinematography, Production and Costume Design, as well as Makeup and Hair. Even a hater like me sees the incredible craftsmanship of Nosferatu.
10. Speed Round: Nickel Boys is overrated (the POV style choice was incredibly distracting), Wicked was good big budget spectacle but not an Oscar movie, Timothee Chalamet comparing himself to Michael Jordan was laughable when we all know he’s more of a Steph Curry, Sing Sing was the most emotionally stirring film and has received no real attention - what the hell? And, in closing, I’ll never watch The Apprentice because I’m done supporting Donald Trump content. Because, well, fuck that guy and fuck you too. Thanks!