I hadn’t dreamed of you in so long that I had almost forgotten what it felt like.
Normally you’d pop in, just long enough to give me a taste.
Just a quick reminder of what “I love you” tasted like and how sweet an “I miss you” could sound.
Then you’d be gone again.
And I’d cope with the empty feeling you left behind.
Last night was different though, you were there from start to finish.
And it rattled me to the core.
Each time I woke, I’d get my bearings. Relax. And think, “It’s over now.”
You were there. Again. And again. And again.
Almost like you were waiting.
It was as wonderful as it was nauseating.
Do you know how terrible of a thing that is?
To feel so, undeniably happy with a million unanswered questions and a loneliness I can’t shake?
As clear as the day we met.
I love(d) you and you’re gone.
I remember now, how it feels to wake up and realize it was all a dream.
I’ll be stuck in this rut for a few days.
That’s usually how it goes.
But then again, I’ve never dreamed of you the whole night through before.
Despite all of that though, thank you.
Thank you for the reminder.
Because forgetting might be more painful than remembering and I’m not sure I want to find out.
I’ll probably send you another message. You won’t see it and that’s okay.
I hope you’re happy and I hope you’re well.