May 1
When you like to tell your friends, you love them constantly and always wanna be their hype gal, but lowkey feel like you're annoying them or they get tired of you. 💀
Welcome to yuna's overthinking brain 101...
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When you like to tell your friends, you love them constantly and always wanna be their hype gal, but lowkey feel like you're annoying them or they get tired of you. 💀
Welcome to yuna's overthinking brain 101...
lately, I’ve been feeling confused about who I am, slipping into versions of myself shaped by doubt and negative thoughts. it left me feeling lost, as if I had wandered too far from my core. But then I paused: I looked around, at everything I’ve been building, at those unnoticed moments of progress and passion that have carried me this far. maybe growth does not always shout; maybe sometimes it hides gently beneath the surface, waiting for us to recognize it. even when life feels overwhelming, even when the smallest things feel heavy, it simply means that we are human. through all of it, I am still becoming someone stronger than before, and so are you, for you shall not give up. if no one else has said it today: I believe in you, and I am proud of you.
The 1st of January is always a day off — a break between what has been and what will be. It’s a moment to breathe in the changes that the crisp January air brings and breathe out everything that needs to be left behind. We torture ourselves by creating a pitch-perfect image inspired by others, not even from within ourselves, and we start to forget how far we’ve come, how much we’ve fought. We need to allow ourselves to feel those ugly feelings we don’t want to acknowledge as part of who we are. Yet the 1st of January feels like a portal, a method of transformation, despite the fact that we still beat ourselves up when we make a small mistake. That’s why the 1st of January is a cheat code: a day to lie in bed and turn off every single thought possible, because those thoughts belong to the past.
This January 1st, I lay in bed next to the man I know I will end up with, and I was thinking — yet for the first time in a long time, I was thinking about possibilities. I was thinking about luck. I was thinking about all the things that will come. Of course, with a dreadful hangover, I woke up to order food and then went back to sleep, then woke up again to watch my series and play cards with him. We always do this now — play cards. There’s something comforting about having to get lucky to win; it almost imitates real life. All you need is a little bit of technique to fight off the bad luck, but that’s hard work.
I almost always lose at cards, which is funny, as I almost always lose in real life. Yet I don’t consider myself a loser, but a trier — and that’s the most important thing: to keep trying, even when the luck runs out. I was not born “unlucky”; I was born to learn how to create my own definition of luck. Just like in that moment — lying next to the love of my life, giggling about the past together and planning the new path ahead. For sure, I am pretty damn lucky with that.
sometimes it’s the nostalgia that gets too much, the nostalgia of what could have been.
I loved you when I could not even love myself.
I gave everything to you when I could not spare anything for myself.
I carried you when I could barely feel my own weight.
And still, I could never hate you.
You’ll always be the echo of my “What if?”
I still walk that street like it remembers us, as if I take my time, you’ll look up and call my name; not because you miss me or hate me, but because we were almost something right — and I still believe we could be.
within
The light you’ve been seeking for, longing for its warmth to pour — to pour over the fears not seen and cleanse the reek of sin.
Maybe the light you’ve been seeking for, it is not to be found between pebbles on a distant shore, but patiently resting within the core.
Within the heart that freely designs it’s tender art of being, breathing, becoming it’s divine part.
Trust the body — for it preaches with grace and growth is not a lustful race, as long as only the truth is the chase, it feeds only on joy, only on love, only on the truth of you, not on the whispers of decoy.