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owlcatsandtea replied to your post: I don’t really want to go into reasons and all...

tarn making his way to each djd members room to give goodnight kisses before he sleeps. if a member is missing from their room or usual spot he will tRACK THEM DOWN very determined to give them a head smooch still and a soft pat on the back.

I am weeping happy tears this is such a goofy and sweet thing, Tarn giving goodnight smorches through the mask bless him tbh.

AND MORE BACK PATTING!~!

YAAAAAAAAAY!!

#owlcatsandtea #brains talks to other people #brains won't shut up about the DJD

Sketch request: Handsome Megatron Holoform or humanformer? ❤️

Have I never drawn him before?? What’s wrong with me

#Captain art #Maccadam #Megatron #owlcatsandtea

A surprise for everyone: a SAFE FOR WORK NON-SMUTTY fic! Commissioned by the kindly @owlcatsandtea, here is a little bonding and cooking time between Whirl and Ultra Magnus.

Everyone on this ship were just too damn sensitive.

Whirl made an honest mistake, stabbed someone in the shoulder, and everyone got all up in arms like he'd just outright killed the guy. Now he was put on house arrest in his hab-suite for the day. Too damn sensitive--people needed to be more like Whirl, really.

That being said, it did give Whirl time to practice on one of his lesser known side hobbies. Well, less "lesser" and more "virtually unknown to anyone but himself and the corpses in the cave."

Whirl picked a small metal rod from the side of his berth. He used it to open a box in the back of one of his shelves. The box opened to a control panel; Whirl punched in a series of numbers. The control panel beeped, parted, revealing a key. Whirl removed the key, unlocked a panel in the back of another shelf. It opened to another dangling key; he used the second key to unlock the panel from which it hung on.

Never could be too careful.

"Whistle whistle whistle," Whirl hummed to himself, removing the metal box inside his secret chamber. He sat it on the nearby table, going about removing parts and supplies in organized piles. Most were ingredients and portable kitchenware. "Whissssssstle." Whirl tore open the baggies with his claws, dumped them in the large bowl, and went to work.

---

Ultra Magnus was restless. Nothing unusual, however. To put his mind at ease, he left his hab-suite to patrol the resting barracks. Just to make sure no one was doing anything illegal. A thing that happened surprisingly often here. Magnus remembered half, if not most, of the crew were troublemakers or criminals and he had to work on his inventing/exventing exercises to keep the anxiety at bay.

Speaking of troublemakers, Magnus was approaching Whirl's suite. He was due for a check-up. Magnus punched in the temporary lock code on Whirl's control panel, all the while getting ready to dodge any blasts for "intruding." He expected to see a hole in the wall from Whirl shooting himself free--or digging free. That was a much more amusing image.

No, actually. What Ultra Magnus saw was much more shocking, and completely unexpected. Whirl was still in his room, still in one piece. On the table were three dishes, each containing a different meal. The mono-eyed Autobot looked up from all the instruments he was toiling over. "Ah, Maggy," Whirl said, "just in time. I've been expecting you." He picked up a plate with a large purple sphere in the center. "Sorry I didn't put on something more... comfortable, ey?"

"What is this?" Magnus demanded, pointing at the food. "Who brought you the food?"

"No one," Whirl answered, "I made it all by myself like a big bot."

Magnus scrunched his nose. "Where did you get the supplies?"

"I borrowed them from a variety of sources, both on and off the ship," Whirl explained. He nudged an elbow in Magnus's direction. "Just don't tell anyone."

Magnus was still confused. "You say you... made all these dishes?" he asked, skeptical.

"Look, I may not have hands or a face or a full bag of marbles upstairs, but I can still make a mean dessert or two." Whirl placed the dish with the sphere in front of an empty chair. "Sit. Give this a try. It's one of my faves."

Magnus stayed put.

"Aw, c'mon," Whirl whined, "it's not like I poisoned them or anythin'. And since I can't eat them, someone's gotta. Might as well be you, you lucky dog." He tapped the table with a pincer. "So, sit, take a load off, eat."

"I don't think..."

"I'll tell you where I hid that blow-torch if you do," Whirl offered.

Magnus stared. Whirl stare, unblinking/ It lasted a full five seconds before Magnus quietly sat down, door shutting behind him. "What... did you make, anyway?" he asked. He'd never seen any of the dishes on the table before.

Whirl chuckled. "They have official names, but since I spun a little of my own original touch in making them, they're technically my creations. So..." He pointed to the plate with black wafers and oily creamy dollops on top. "Crispy Black Thingies. Oil and energon wafers with high grade oil topping." He moved to the next dish, something that looked like a cake that was glowing a radiant yellow with intricate patterns drawn in the frosting. "Big Yellow Fragger. Energon and oil with ground Femax yellowstone mineral and whipped g'bar from the delectable swamps of M'anna." The third dish with a clear gelatin mold, with what appeared to be flowers inside. "Gourmet Slime. Lanarq jelly and edible Monacus roses with just a dash of agate powder. You're suppose to eat this chilled, but eh, life isn't fair."

Whirl's optic glowed as he turned to the sphere. "And this... This is one of my greatest pieces. It never fails to knock anyone who eats it right outta the park. Scrap, you might as well just deactivate your sorry aft, you'll never taste anything remotely wonderful and perfect as this ever again." He moved to stand beside Magnus, carrying a little metal pitcher. "I call it... You Might As Well Deactivate Your Sorry Aft, You'll Never Taste Anything Remotely Wonderful And Perfect As This Ever Again. ... Or Ymawdysayntarwapatea for short."

Magnus glowered. "And what, pray tell, is this made out of?"

"Oh no, sparkles," Whirl whispered, "it's my little secret. Now watch this." He tipped the pitcher over the purple sphere, pouring elegant strokes of energon on top of it. Magnus widened his optics as the sphere appeared to blossom open, just like a flower, its petals dropping away to reveal a small cake tower with more edible flowers, oil pudding, and sliced geode fruit inside. "Oh my God, I got chills, that was so fraggin' awesome. If you sprang a leak, I won't blame you."

Magnus was actually delightfully surprised. "That... was very nice," he said, blinking. "How did...?"

Whirl placed a pincer to Magnus's lips. "Put that pretty mouth of yours to better use." He swept his claws with grandeur over the table. "Eat my children."

Magnus frowned. "You've nearly ruined my appetite," he scoffed. Nonetheless, all of this did look very delicious. Whether it tasted good or not was just as important as presentation, however. And while Whirl was a loose cannon, even he wasn't crazy enough to risk poisoning the second in command of the Lost Light. So, with a little lingering hesitation, Magnus picked up a fork, broke off a piece of the cake inside the giant flower, and took a bite.

Whirl was right. He would never taste anything as amazing as this ever again. "Very lovely," Magnus said, forcing himself to contain the pure bliss trembling down his backstrut, "nice taste. Nice texture."

Whirl sat on the other side of the table, resting his chin on his claws. "Aw, go on, go on," he laughed.

"It's not too sweet. A little tangy--that's good, however. Flavors... balance out..."

And before Magnus knew it, he was gobbling down more, moving from dish to dish. Whirl watched the entire time, excited. He waited until Magnus was nearly finished with the Big Yellow Fragger when he asked, "Can I be ungrounded?"

"No."

(A/N: Whirl’s very long titled creation is based on/inspired by this dessert.)

#whirl #ultra magnus #mtmte #maccaddams #maccadam #i can never remember that damn tag #owlcatsandtea