#p-a

[personal-anarchy]

Vinho - Queijo - Sexo

É tudo o que te prometo.

[personal-anarchy]

Tu, outra vez tu.

Ha pessoas que tem o dom de nos magoar sempre que aparecem nas nossas vidas, mas o que realmente magoa é o sentimento de impotência por deixa-las  voltar para a minha vida.

[hazydazee]

I'm so lonely

Valentine's Day is going to be hell. I can't even spend it with the one person I want to, I can't even text him because he's dead and that breaks my heart. It scares me to think I'll never find someone I clicked with so well

[hazydazee]

Feeling so alone.

I have no one and everyone seems to have someone

[extra-cold]

you started tagging "p" again ???????

yeah i know.. he texted me lately and i dont know wtf is up with me im all messed up, im not myself anymore. I dont understand how someone can have so much control over you. 

[hazydazee]

What's wrong lovey why so sad?

This girl who knows P-A has been leaving msgs on his fb wall and it started when he passed away. The things she has been saying make me so uncomfortable. She drove to Quebec for his funeral, leaving flowers and ribbons for him along the way. I thought after the funeral I wouldn’t have to think about her. The past few days she’s been leaving really deep things on his page. Monday it was a meme from the fault in our stars where the girl and guy said I love you and then today she posts this huge thing that’s really deep. She was saying how much she loved him and cared for him, talking about his smile and how deep into their convo’s they’d get about life. How he brushed her hair back and told her he’d do everything in the world to make her happy. How she was forever his. It breaks my heart because she’s making it seem like she was a thing, a big part of his life and as far as everyone I’ve asked (his friends and family) she wasn’t anything like she’s making herself out to be, I was that person. He told all his friends about me, and I even became close with a few of them. He took me home to meet his family (I was only the 2nd girl he ever brought home). His mom, dad and brothers care about me and I care about them too. I got close with all of them. He was my everything, my baby. I knew him, I was there when he was away on a field ex and I was the one he called every moment he could and talked to for hours. I was the one who he spent days, I loved everything about him. I saw him at his best, his worst and his most vulnerable.

I thought I had to worry about his crazy ex Star who tried to make me feel bad while at the airport heading to his funeral. But she wasn’t an issue. Never thought this girl would be still professing her love for him.

Sorry for the rant. I know I shouldn’t be upset because it’s clear that he cared about me. But the thought of him saying those things to her when he said them to me makes me sick. I don’t believe it, his friends don’t either. But my heart still hurts. I’m hoping tonight when I dream about him I remember it. Last 5 days I’ve dreamt about him but as soon as I get up, I can’t remember, I just know it was about him. It may sound stupid but I feel like he comes to me in my dreams.

God I wrote a book. I’m terribly sorry.

[hazydazee]

Laid P-A to rest with his friends and family in Quebec on Saturday

I miss you so much "my baby" (in your voice). Rest in peace angel

[hazydazee]

I haven't been the same since you've gone. I miss you so much.