There were a lot of things that Ruairi enjoyed in life. A nice sunny day. Walks through the park. Dogs. Being able to pet random dogs while walking through the park on a sunny day. But one his top favorites was just sitting around on the couch with his lover, watching something on TV. It was just normal. And Ruairi liked normal. He felt like a lot life wasn't and when he could take some semblance of it, he would. He never really asked Lark about it, but he thought the other probably felt the same in some capacity.
Ruairi's chocolate hues watched the television for quite a bit before he finally broke his concentration and looked over towards Lark with a soft smile, "How you doin'?" He asked. Not matter, he would always check up. That's just what he did. Admittedly, Ruairi allowed some of his therapist intentions slip into his every day life but he didn't think that was a bad thing. Of course, he never counciled people without their consent, especially not Lark. But he always made sure people were okay.
Hearing a commotion on the show they were watching, he glanced back the TV and watched it for a few seconds before looking back at his mate, "Oh! At t'e office today, we got somet'ing catered for Ant'ony's birthday, yeah?" Ruairi sat up a bit more, "It was so bad. I couldn't believe t'ey did Ant'ony so wrong for his birt'day. It was abysmal. Poor guy." He shook his head, "I s'ould bring him in somet'ing good tomorrow. As an apology for t'at debacle." Ruairi laughed.
Ignoring the way his heart began to thump with fear, Jamie walked into the sea with a sense of deliberateness and focus, trying to make the best of a bad situation.
After all, if he couldn’t be earth attuned anymore, then the least he could do was attempt to be a better swimmer.
He’d never been great at it, even back in the world, but Teak had attempted to teach him a bit when he’d first arrived on the island, before they’d realised he simply sank like a stone, and now seemed like as good a time as any to try again, his body finally allowing him some buoyancy.
So he walked out slowly, the water warm and inviting and steadily getting deeper - up nearly to his hips now - and while he could have begun paddling about in the shallows, he still couldn’t bring himself to take the plunge - the fear of drowning was too deeply ingrained - so instead he kept walking, the sand soft on his toes, letting the water rise further.
Over his hips, up to his chest - the only trouble was that he was still petrified and he couldn’t help but wish he’d waited and brought Kettle with him, thinking that a spotter might be a very handy thing to have. But he was committed now he decided, wet up to his shoulders, and when he took one more step and the ground fell away, the drop off sneaking up quickly, Jamie panicked for a moment, his head dipping under the water, before he started to attempt to do what Teak had taught him.
And it worked - for nearly a minute. He was swimming! And then, suddenly, he wasn’t. He was sinking fast. And for the barest fraction of a moment, Jamie’s heart leapt in his chest that his earth attunement wasn’t really gone at all; that some small part of it was stirring; realising just as quickly that it wouldn’t do him any good at all if he sank to the bottom of the ocean before he could manage to do anything with it. He tried to splash back to solid ground, but his panic had only succeeded in getting him turned round, and try as he might, his head breaking the surface every few seconds, there was no doubt that he was in trouble, his attunement outranking even the best of Teak’s instructions.
Between his panic and his natural sinking, Jamie was certain he’d just walked into his own demise; coughing and sputtering and splashing for all he was worth, calling out for help from anyone who might be passing.
After all, he might be about to die, but that didn’t mean he had to go quietly.
Another day, another walk to the hospital. Not that Ruairi minded. He would do anything for Lark. The man could ask him to walk off the top of a building and Ruairi probably wouldn't question it because he trusted him that much. Without Lark, he wouldn't be where he was now. Visiting the hospital every day for as long as the staff would let him was the least he could do.
Over the hospital stay, Ruairi had become quite friendly with the nursing staff and this morning, he was bringing in a couple dozen donuts for everyone. After stepping inside the hospital and navigating the winding halls, he found Lark's unit. With a wide grin, he placed the box of donuts down on the desk up front, "Ladies and gentlemen, good morning." He greeted, "Help yourselves, alright?" Ruairi opened up the box and grabbed two donuts, "How is he today?" He then asked, glancing over to the night nurse.
Stepping over to the donuts, the nurse smiled, "He's in and out. But stable."
"Understood. T'ank you." Ruairi smiled and began to walk towards his room, "You all are angels." He called back out before he turned down the hall towards his boyfriends room. Two doors later, he was arriving at the room and he stepped inside. Lark was sleeping, which was as expected. Though he knew that Lark was doing better, he couldn't help but frown at the sight of him. Ruairi just wished he could have done more to help. He should have done more.
Sighing, the male walked over towards the bed and placed the donut down on the table before he leaned over and pressed a long kiss to Lark's forehead. He brushed the others hair back from his face, admiring him like he often did, before he sighed softly and sat down in the chair he made his home. Ruairi had also brought himself a book of crossword puzzles so once he was comfortable, he pulled the book out and began to stare down at one of the puzzles. He was always a bit distracted for these things while there, but he figured he could try again.
Ruairi: As much as Ruairi wished that he didn't dwell on things, he did. Often. It probably wasn't the best trait to have in his profession but he just assumed it happened because he was such an empathetic person. He would dwell on his own problems and others. Currently, what was on his mind was Lark's sister breaking into his apartment and having the "sibling to significant other" talk. Ruairi hadn't actually experienced one before and honestly, he didn't like it. He understood it, however.
Showing up at Lark's apartment after his shift from work, like he often did, Ruairi knocked on the door a few times times before he opened it up, just to be polite. He had a key to his place but he still hated just barging in, "Hey, love." He called out as he took off his jacket and shoes, "You alright?" Ruairi quickly followed up, moving through the apartment to find Lark.
Lark: Moving around was still hard and Lark was always tired these days. The insomnia had at least abated since the incident, seeing as he simply could not keep himself awake sometimes. He was just coming out of a, nap when he heard the front door open and Ruairi call out to him.
“In here, Rue! Just waking up,” he called from the bed. Seeing Ruairi turn into the room, he smiled, but then noticed the expression on his face. Lark could always tell when Ruairi had something on his mind, struggling to hide a furrowed brow. “I’m alright, luv. Are you?” He gave Ruairi a knowing look and held out an arm for his boyfriend to join him, “Come here, what is it?”
Ruairi:A wave of relief washed over Ruairi when he heard Lark. Ever since Halloween, he was essentially on edge about everything. He would never admit it out loud, but he was consistently worried for his lover. Not that it was hard to hide. Ruairi wore everything on his face. It was easy to tell just about everything just by looking at him.
He approached the bedroom and smiled softly at the sight of Lark, immediately moving towards the bed when the other motioned for him. Ruairi crawled into the bed from the foot of it and soon found himself cuddling up next to Lark, pulling the other close to him instantly. Once again, his face wore his emotions. He sighed lightly and spoke up, "Your sister paid me a visit today." He said with a chuckle, "I didn't even know you had t'is sister. Ainsley?"
Lark: Ruairi settled beside him and Lark curled into him, content in the cozy comfort. It was almost enough to make him want to take a nap again, until Ruairi sighed and spoke up about a visit from a sister.
For a moment he thought Ruairi was talking about Hayden. After all, Hayden was there on Halloween, that might make sense. And then he said Ainsley and that, unfortunately, made more sense for all the wrong reasons. Lark let out an exasperated sigh mixed with an all too familiar laugh, “Oh god, Ains… Did she break in? Let me guess, she gave you ‘the talk’? She wasn’t too mean was she? I swear that girl needs to learn boundaries.”
Ruairi: He was starting to think the Decker's were innumerable at this point. Ruairi thought he knew of or met most of them and then in came Ainsley, knife wielding and all. He was still confused by it, to be totally honest. Firstly, how did she find his apartment? Did she climb up the fire escape? Why break in? Why not just find him at work! It was so perplexing.
He laughed quietly and nodded his head, "She did break in, yeah, and had t'e talk." Ruairi repeated, his lips pursing for a moment, "She was pretty mean...in my opinion." He laughed, "She said I was boring so she has not'ing to worry about." Ruairi shrugged a bit, "I'm sorry if I'm t'e most boring person you know. I'll try to spice it up a bit." He joked.
Lark: Lark sighed, pulling Ruairi closer, if that was even possible, and giving him a kiss on the forehead. “Ainsley is a… rough sort and very protective. All my sisters are, but Ains is just more of a loose canon about it. I’m sorry she was mean, I’m sure she’ll warm up to you.”
He turned and pressed his head against Ruairi’s, cupping his face in his hands, “I know you’re joking, but still… there’s a difference between being boring and being kind. You know how much I love spice, but I’m not looking for the kind of thing Ainsley considers exciting. And I know she doesn’t want that for me either. That’s how I’ve always gotten hurt.” As Lark’s said this he had the terrifying thought that maybe he was the dangerous one here. He tried to push it back, but his anxiety wouldn’t let that happen so easily and he could feel his body begin to tense up.
Ruairi: Feeling Lark trying to pull him closer, he scooted as much as he could but there wasn't much more he could move. He was happy for the closeness however. He smiled softly from the kiss and he listened as Lark spoke, nodding his head, "Yeah, she might." He said, half believing his own words. And even if she didn't, well, they'd just have to deal with one another at family gatherings.
Feeling Lark move, Ruairi shifted a bit as well and his eyes fell upon the other as he cupped his face. Ruairi's hands met Lark's and he cupped them softly as he nodded slightly in understanding. Really, it didn't matter what Ainsley thought about Ruairi (too much). As long as Lark was happy with him, that's all that matters. "We don't want you getting hurt." He told Lark with a soft smile. But it quickly waived when he felt Lark's hands tense up and his head tilted a bit, "Lark? What is it? You okay?" He asked, his hands moving from his and down to his back, rubbing it.
Lark: Lark stared off into space, all of his fears flooding before his eyes in a montage of horrors. An image of a withered Irish Eyebright flashed in his mind. Ruairi’s home broken into again, next time by foe, not friend. His lover going missing or worse. They’re all anxieties, but all so realistically plausible. How could he be so selfish to keep someone close to his heart like this?
“No,” he replied simply, “No, I’m not okay, Rue. I don’t know if I ever will be. As long as I’m alive my step father will do everything in his power to find and hurt me.” God, it has never been this hard for him to say what he meant. Pressing his forehead against Ruairi’s, he stared at their hands because it was easier than looking him in the eye, “I don’t know what I would do if you ever got caught in the crossfire. Do you understand?”
Ruairi: Although he could tell that Lark wasn't okay, it still surprised him that the other actually admitted he wasn't. Ruairi's hands tightened a bit, clutching onto Lark just a bit. He listened, his brows furrowing. He wasn't sure what brought all this onto Lark but Ruairi wished he had caught it sooner. How long had his love been feeling like this? Since Halloween? Ruairi truly hoped not. Living with these thoughts since then had to be so hard...
He sighed softly as Lark pressed their foreheads together, noting how he wasn't looking him in the eye. That was unlike Lark. Ruairi nodded a bit, "I do...but Lark, we don't have to worry about t'at. Not right now. Whatever happens, happens. We'll get t'rough it. We have once. We'll do it again." Sure, seeing Lark hurt and almost dead was one of the most despairing moments of his life but they got through it. And now Lark is alive and essentially well. "What is bringing all t'is up, love?"
Lark: Lark made the mistake of looking Ruairi in the eye. Knowing where this was going, what he had to do, it nearly broke him. He immediately looked back down at their hands, gripping Ruairi's tighter, knowing it very well might be the last time.
He shook his head at Ruairi's words, "No, Rue. You don't understand. We got lucky once and I still barely made it out. My life will never be safe or normal as long as my step-father is after me. The closer you are to me, the more danger you're in. That's never going to change and it's not just something we can muddle through. It's just going to keep getting harder until..." It would be unfair to continue without looking his partner in the eye. Slowly his blue eyes locked with Ruairi's mossy hazel, like the ocean meeting shore. So natural together and yet... "I can't do this, Rue. I can't keep knowingly putting you at risk, just because I love you. It's selfish and I--I can't."
Ruairi: Maybe Ruairi didn't understand. The more Lark spoke, the more confused he got. Sure, the words coming out of his mouth made sense but they still didn't. Why would the thought of being alone in the situation he faces even cross his mind? But Lark wouldn't even be alone. He still had his sisters. They weren't going anywhere. So what? Was it just Ruairi? Was he just a liability? Did Lark just not want the guilt or something if something did happen? Ruairi just couldn't figure it out.
For the first time in a while, his partner looked him in the eye and Ruairi's heart broke. His words were enough but the look in eyes spoke far more, "So...what? You're breaking up with me?" He asked, his words sounded almost incredulous. Ruairi had never actually experienced a break up but this sure sounded like one, "Lark...please." He sniffled quietly as his hands clung onto his lover's, "T'is isn't fair." He said simply. It wasn't what Ruairi wanted at all.
Lark: He couldn't take Ruairi's pleading, or the decision he knew he had to make. The look in Ruairi's eyes showed a heartbreak he felt reflected in his own chest. "Don't you think I know that? I know it's not fair. I don't want this anymore than you do."
He took Ruairi's face in his hands, tears cascading from his eyes, "I love you, Rue. More than I've loved anyone in a long while. That's why I can't be with you. I can't lose you and I can't be so selfish to let you get anymore attached just to watch me fight a losing battle. You deserve better than that."
Ruairi: "T'en don't do it!" Ruairi stated, with an exaggerated shrug. It was as simple as that. If neither one of them wanted to split up, why do it? The risk shouldn't matter. They could make it through whatever Lark's step father could throw at them.
His gaze stayed upon Lark's, his own tears trekking down his cheeks. His hand clutched onto the others as he held his face, "I don't believe you. I don't t'ink it's being selfish, it's my decision to be with you too." He paused for a moment, "I love you. But what you're doing now is selfish." Ruairi sniffled again and pulled Lark's hand from his cheek, "Because I don't get a say in t'is. You've already made up your mind." Pressing a long kiss to the back of Lark's hand, he pushed himself to the edge of the bed and stood up, "I'm going to go."
Ruairi couldn't be there anymore. He walked through Lark's apartment and grabbed his Irish Eyebright before he threw on his coat and shoes, leaving.
Lark: It already felt like he'd made the biggest mistake of his life, but his decision had been made. Still it stung to hear Ruairi say he was being selfish in this. If that was true, why did it feel like his heart was caving in on itself? Why did he feel like he was being torn apart from the inside all over again? Why did it feel so much worse than Halloween? How could this be selfish when it felt like he'd just lost everything?
Ruairi kissed the back of his hand and he wanted to hang on tight, beg him to stay just one last night. "Rue, please, I'm sorry. Please..." ...don't go. But he couldn't say anymore. He let him go and the world turned grey. The moment he heard the door shut behind Ruairi, he broke down, heaving pained sobs, feeling more lost and confused than he'd ever felt in his life. He already wanted to run after him, say he'd made a mistake, but deep down he truly believed he'd saved his love from a far worse fate. And perhaps that hurt the most of all.
Lark went out into the living room, somehow wishing by some miracle that Ruairi would still be there. Of course it was empty. And when he looked to the windowsill where the dryad's Irish Eyebright had been, it was gone. He ran to the window and watched as the man fade into the distance. That's when it hit him that Ruairi was really, truly gone. Lark collapsed against the wall and let the sobs shake his body like an earthquake that would never end.
Ruairi: It took every ounce of will power in Ruairi's body not to turn around. He wanted to so desperately. He didn't want to be without Lark. It hurt him just to think about not being able to wake up beside him or being able to visit him at work. Not being able to just be there with him. But Lark made the decision. Ruairi was going to try and respect it no matter how wrong it was. Even though his opinion on it didn't matter.
His feet carried him to his apartment and the moment he was inside, he locked his doors and threw his Irish Eyebright onto the kitchen counter haphazardly. He didn't look back at it. Why should he? Nothing really mattered. Ruairi took his shoes and coat off, just leaving them in the middle of the hallway before he crawled into bed. At first, he just laid there, blankly staring ahead at nothing in particular, feeling just so numb. But the longer he laid there, the sadder he felt. He felt a deep pain and hurt that he hadn't felt in years. Not since Charlotte had passed. Sobs racked through him for who knows how long until he eventually just fell asleep. It was better than being awake, anyway.
