I wanted to put together a write up on ideas for the self-validation ritual part of my #ValidationDayTarotChallenge but it wound up being pretty generalizable. So instead here’s my thoughts on how I create rituals for just about any occasion.
I think the first and most important step is to figure out why you’re doing the ritual. It can be as simple or complicated as you need.
Sometimes my why is straightforward - to celebrate a holiday or to work with a deity.
And other times it’s more personal and complicated - to initiate myself into a new phase of my practice or mourn the death of a former self.
In both cases though, my why drives all other components of the ritual.
I’ll also jot down anything that might be really important to me during this phase that I want to keep in mind. When I was living with my parents and I was in the broom closet about my practice, I would make note of what constraints I had to work with – had to be done after parents when to bed, had to be easily assembled and discarded without notice. These days I’m much more likely to jot down things like “I’m fucking tired all the time, keep it short” or “Hands aren’t working great, keep it simple”.
Very occasionally in this stage I’ll notice my why conflicts with my constraints. If my energy is low, it might not be a great time to do much transformational work no matter how much I’d like to. Easier to think through that here than half way through performing it.
I personally think physically cleansing is important no matter what kind of ritual I’m performing. My why will guide how I go about it. If the ritual is a more regular one, I might only wash my hands and my face. Sometimes I light a candle, turn the lights off, and take a shower. The dark helps me concentrate on getting rid of unhelpful energy so I don’t bring it into the ritual space. Very occasionally I’ll take a ritual bath.
Cleansing really is key for me because it helps prepare me mentally and it delineates the mundane from the sacred. In less elegant terms, I like washing off because I don’t want to be thinking about whether my car’s gonna get fixed in time for this weekend or if I paid the bills while I’m trying to contact a goddess to help bring forth my shadow so that I might embrace it. I respect that division might not be relevant for everyone though so your mileage may vary.
Lighting is so helpful in ritual. I prefer to do my rituals at night if I can swing it. It just feels like the right time to be doing witchy things. I like to keep my lighting low and warm. I avoid overhead and florescent lighting at all costs. When I was in a college dorm, I relied heavily on lamps and battery powered candles for this. In more recent years I’ve used a lot of discounted white Christmas lights. Full sun can be a powerful lighting too when the occasion calls for it and I seek it out for certain situations.
Smells are really important to me. I use them to help get me in the right headspace but they can also be offered to any spirits or deities you might be working with. In Kemetic practices, incense is a common offering. Candles can be a two for one deal. I try when possible to reserve certain smells for certain rituals but that’s hard to do when you’re working with a limited selection of scents. I’ve also used perfumes or anointed myself with a safe essential oil where I couldn’t burn or diffuse a scent.
Sound and music is tricky but I like to include it where I can for a few reasons. When I lived in a dorm and in housing shared with folks who weren’t my partner, turning up the right music – usually in headphones – helped block out distractions. When I reserve a certain playlist for ritual, it also helps put me in the right headspace and prepare me mentally for what I’m about to do.
I usually start by selecting a point of focus. For working with a deity, that might be a drawing or a statue of them. For self-work, it might be a mirror. Whatever it is, I build the rest of the altar around that focal point. My why guides how I fill out the rest of the altar. It’s extra important to me that the altar add to the ambiance. It’s what I’ll spend my time looking at. Even if it’s simple and small, it magnifies what I’m working on and keeps me focused on the tasks at hand.
My rituals are built on two types of action – repeated and symbolic.
Repeated actions are ones I use to delineate to myself and whatever spirits I’m working with “hey this is the ritual now”. I use a practice I call “singing the circle” to open with. I will state the intended purpose of the ritual out loud or in the form of a prayer. While less common for me now, I will sometimes clap around the area to cleanse it before I start working. I’ve also occasionally included a hymn or poem at this point. I make offerings in almost every ritual I do so I would consider it repeated action as well. I also have repeated actions to close the ritual as well. One incentive for doing more rituals is to figure out what repeated action helps you the most through experimentation.
Symbolic actions derive from my why and are specific to each ritual. Burning a letter to myself, eating pomegranate seeds, dancing ecstatically – these are all examples of symbolic action. The key here is that the symbol is resonant to you, that it makes sense to you. I couldn’t fill up my backyard with candles for Nit’s festival but I could light a bunch in my spare room and imagine what her city must have looked like during it’s heyday. I assisted with a ceremony for processing trauma in which the person threw a letter to an abuser in a ritual fire. Whatever the action is, make sure it feels right for you and your why.
Silence is an important part of my rituals. All of mine feature silence to some degree. I’ve done entire rituals not speaking a word. Usually though, I like to close out with a moment of silence to just be present with the energy the ritual has created.
Closing a ritual is usually simple for me. It’s blowing out a candle. It’s thanking the spirits, leaving the room, and then coming back to clean it up.
As part of recovering from the ritual and closing it out, I’ll usually eat something.
Nothing fancy here, but having at least something here helps me get back to the mundane.
- Why are you putting this ritual together?
- How will you cleanse beforehand?
- What lighting will be most appropriate?
- What smells will be most appropriate?
- What music will be most appropriate?
- What will your point of focus be?
- What else will go on your altar?
- How will you open the ritual?
- What will you main actions be?
- What symbols will you include?
- How will you include silence in your ritual?
- How will you close out this ritual?
I hope this is helpful. I was hoping to get this up sooner but I’ve been sick all day. I hope folks are having a wonderful validation day!
