#pagan blogging

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Starstruck Awenydd crossposting

Today I’m talking about being trans and Pagan, specifically relating to Deity (you’ll never guess which one).

Queer and Otherworldly

Being a transmasculine awenydd, or more generally a trans Pagan, is weird and often challenging. While my gender, queerness and spirituality are completely intertwined, I still have to work to see myself in the lore or in my Godds. Most Deities are assumed to be cis and not-queer, although how They present Themselves to us in gnosis is another story.

This story, this blog post, is about my own experience with gender, presentation, and queerness. It also tells how my God taught me to accept my own gender, the way He’s shown me how to play with it, and what He’s taught me about navigating a complex relationship with it. 

[strange-lights-and-stardust]

Starstruck Awenydd crossposting

A post celebrating both TDOV and my five-month Dedication anniversary.

An Important Day

I’m observing today as a holy day for two reasons.

The first: it’s Transgender Day of Visibility. With that in mind, I’d like to link a blessing that was shared with me this morning by a friend. I don’t have many words of my own to say about this today, but as a trans person it’s always felt important to mark this day.

The second reason: today is the five month anniversary of the night I made my dedication vows to Gwyn.

[strange-lights-and-stardust]

Starstruck Awenydd crossposting

The title says it all. Basically a coming out post about things I’ve been open about on here, but not with my friends in the Brythonic group who will eventually, I hope, see this post. Hence my nervousness.

The Post I’ve Been Scared to Write

I have struggled to find the words to write about this subject. I have a deep dread of being judged, especially when speaking of things that are as close to my heart, as precious to me, as what I’m about to tell you.

Before I go further, I want to let my readers know that I’ll be discussing, with as much humility, respect, and nuance as I can, the topic of sacred sexuality, and I’ll briefly touch on ordeal work. While I’m very selective about which details I share, I will mention some of my own experiences. If that’s not something you want to read about, you can click away and I won’t be offended.

So. Thank you to those who stayed. Let’s delve into this.

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Starstruck Awenydd is finally live!

I’m a Wordpress Pagan now.

Like a Hurricane

“ On July 23rd, 2019, my life changed forever. That night, Gwyn ap Nudd made Himself known to me, as more than simply “that one face of my Horned God, who happens to be a Faery King.” He used a Google search and a devotee’s blog to lead me to Himself. As I read, I had to admit that I knew my Faery King’s name, and had for a very long time. I had to stop running and face Him, even though He had frightened me the last time I met Him as Himself. “

[strange-lights-and-stardust]

Starstruck Awenydd crossposting

This is the second glosa I ever wrote. I’m still knew at this poetic form but I like it, especially since this one glosses a text from the Brythonic tradition (previously I had glossed a Christian psalm/hymn). 

The Cauldron of Rebirth

You do not always say the things You’ve planned

But anything You give I take with joy

My Faery King who calls Your changeling boy,

His flutt’ring heart a bird held in Your hand–

But drifting, I begin to understand,

With night’s dark pelt by stars above me brindled:

My fear of solemn Vows has slowly dwindled

And as I feel me in Your Cauldron laid

I think on all the poem-songs I’ve prayed–

By breath of maidens ninefold they were kindled.

[strange-lights-and-stardust]

Starstruck Awenydd crossposting

Finished this song One Week before my Dedication. I was *so excited*. In later songs the sacred terror resurfaced but for this song the mood was :D.

Season of Apples

"The apple is our season."

I don't really understand

No thank you, pomegranates--there's a Lord in Faeryland

Who filled my cup with cider from His Cauldron full of song

These orchards filled with fruit trees all to Winter's King belong.

[strange-lights-and-stardust]

Starstruck Awenydd crossposting

This one is the first poem I wrote in the glosa style, where you take four lines from an old text and then “gloss” them.

My God, Attend Me.

The sure provisions of my God

Attend me all my days;

O may Thy house be mine abode,

And all my work be praise! 

--Isaac Watts, "My Shepherd Will Supply My Need" (paraphrased from Psalm 23) 

Burning incense drowns my lungs

As stained glass filters rainbow rays

On Sunday, as the candles blaze.

The choir with our tempered tongues

On chords spaced like a ladder's rungs

Where Jacob's angels may have trod

Sings praise, and no one knows how odd

A witch might feel, his faith unknown--

I sing with them, and sing alone

The sure provisions of my God. 

[strange-lights-and-stardust]

Starstruck Awenydd crossposting

It’s time for my second post, A Belated Introduction.

“Hello! Please call me Thorn. You’ll also hear me refer to myself as Rain. They’re both magical names of mine that have different meanings and different contexts where I use them.

Here are some things about me. I’m gay. I’m a nonbinary trans man, and my pronouns are he/him/his. I’m a witch and an awenydd. I’m almost 30. My hobbies are mostly of the creative, crafty sort. I like sci-fi and fantasy, symphonic metal and Renaissance choral music. I prefer dressing goth. I live on the west coast of the United States.

I’m dedicated to Gwyn ap Nudd.”