Ben calming you down during a panic attack (a headcanon):
(i meant to put cuddly Ben with a girl but these are the best cuddly Ben photos i could find, so thanks Frankie!)
• Your mind would begin to get claustrophobic, every thought getting louder than the other - these voices and anxieties begin to attack you
• Your heart races and you find yourself panting
• Your hand still clutching onto your pencil begins to get unbearably cold even when with a jacket on
• There isn't anything you can do to stop it, so you close your eyes hoping it would go away
• This is when Ben looks over from his book and suddenly disregards it
• His arm would go over your shoulder, his hand rubbing your arm gently while the other hand begins to intertwine with your fingers
• Your eyes remain shut as you try to focus your attention to the warmth of his hands and the way every bit of gesture makes you feel.
• They were warm and soft and - and
• "Darling," he chuckled slightly, pressing his lips on your cheek, "it's alright, love, everything's okay."
• He would gently take the pencil away from your grasp and cradle you closer to his body.
• You lose it at this point, you let the tears flow and the panting gets louder as you try to reason out your worries.
• He listens for a bit until he recognizes the anxiety overwhelming your speech, "Shhh shhh, darling, it's okay, I'm right here love. It's okay, we'll work it out okay?"
• His tone never hinting any sort of worry or disappointment or anything negative of that sorts even though deep down it hurts him so deeply to see you in so much pain.
• "I - I just want to be good enough."
• He smiles and you feel this as his cheeks widen against your temple, "and you are, love. You are so much more than just enough."
• Your breathing begins to slow down but your heart still struggles to keep up.
• "You have such a beautiful mind with so much creativity interwoven in every part of it. So much so that sometimes, you just burst into this wonderful mess - and that's okay. That's okay, love. It's okay to feel and notice everything because not everyone encounter the beautiful things you do."
• He would plant a kiss on your cheeks, temple and nose every now and then inbetween pauses.
• "That's what makes you such a beautiful artist, you let that vulnerability peek through your art and it just radiates into something so beautiful and palpable."
• You find yourself enabling to think, to breathe and to live again. No longer drowning in the ocean of your own thoughts and battles.
• Your senses begin to kick in again, Ben's touch softer and warmer than a few seconds ago. His tiny kisses, begin to tingle your heart with what feels like genuine joy.
• A panic attack would come around every now and then and Ben would know exactly what you need to hear and more importantly feel.
• Hearing that it's going to be okay is one thing but actually feeling that - letting your heart take the leap into believing it, is something only Ben has mastered over the years that you have been together.
[ also if you happen to be going through anything like that ^ and you just need someone to vent to, im always keen on being a listening ear to y'all, so please feel free to message me, okay? 💕 ]
