Ok, so I kinda need advice and kinda to rant if you don't mind! I am genderfluid and out to ~four~ people. They have all been great and accepting :D. However, I don't feel safe coming out to my parents. They hated me for ~awhile~ after I came out as pan and still claim that there is no way that I can know this so there I no telling their reactions. I want to cut my hair short and slightly "masc" but when I mentioned it my parents were like "we had a daughter for a reason, no way in hell. Help???
of course i don’t mind! but i’m not sure what advice i can offer, honestly. if you don’t feel safe coming out to your parents, which is very valid considering, then holding off coming out to them might be best, even if it sucks not being out.
as for your hair, maybe doing it in small amounts? i don’t know how long your hair is now, but maybe going shoulder length or a short angular bob, to get a bit of shortness but not quite in the area that your parents wouldn’t like. and then gradually keep going shorter. (although, not sure how realistic that is for you, i tend to forget not everyone cuts their own hair like i do lmao)
you could even show them pictures of women with short hair, bobs, pixie cuts, etc., and even shaved heads, and how “feminine” they can still be. it could possibly help them come around to your cutting your hair, while still not outing yourself to them.
but i mean, it’s hair. i don’t know how old you are, if you need their permission or for them to take you to get it done or pay for it or what, which might affect the probability of it happening, but it’s your hair and it will grow back. you can always just tell them that and how everyone goes through chopping off their hair.
i don’t know how helpful this is, but i hope things work out!!