#papa loko

[spiritualityloves247]

[rockofeye]

Ajenouye la

I been writing and stopping and writing and deleting for a few days right now. It’s been a strange week and the world has shifted a few degrees towards what certainly appears to be a new reality. As a result, social panic is high and the anxiety that is being collectively breathed out is more overwhelming than the actual virus itself.

I am a public health worker and being in the middle of this nightmare has been humbling. It has been a time of truly radical acceptance of institutional powerlessness to protect those who are most vulnerable and to continue to work within that, no mater how deep and unflinching this despair may feel. We are constantly ten steps behind what needs to happen, but there is no time to catch our breath.

It is in the moments where I can take a breath that I find my lwa. They are beside me in each moment, but when you’re knee deep in viral humanity sometimes you need to collect your head and turn towards them on purpose. My beloved mysteries have heard my grief that I can’t solve all the problems and my loss in having to deal with utterly failing support systems. They’ve been the receptacle of overwhelmed tears, and have provided radiating calmness for my heavy heart.

Today is the first day in a week that I haven’t had to deal with an active crisis, and so I have sat quietly, waiting in silence for Loko on his feast day.

I find Loko in the middle of all things, which is only to be expected. Loko calls all houngan and manbo asogwe his children, as it is he who allows us to take up the asson and who sits as both judge and jury should we fail him and betray our promises. He speaks judiciously and, for many asogweman, we hear his voice with our ears only once in the course of our lives.

As much as I wait for Loko, he in turn waits for me. We sit together and he tells me stories like my grandfather, except his stories are more ‘here is what I will do with you’ and less ‘the bear went over the mountain’. He reminds me that, among all the promises I made to him, he also made me a promise and that he continues to fulfill that each day. He is a specific sort of home that comes only with the deep examination the djevo provides.

His presence reminds me that as long as there is breath, there is life. As long as leaves grow and butterflies emerge from their cocoons, so shall life continue with Loko, the immovable force who has breathed life for longer than any of us can conceptualize. For asogweman who can learn how he teaches and can pay him what he is due, Loko holds the secrets of the leaves and of the healing and the harm they can offer at any given time. His price is HIGH and his expectations exacting.

Songs for Loko speak about his sickness and the sickness of his children, and these are both literal and speaking in secrets that those who have been taught to hear understand. This also speaks to his unique understanding of illness and his ability to cure any illness, if he so chooses. For his children, he is the miracle worker and his favor comes from the djevo. 

Loko’s stillness has been a comfort to me lately. He reminds me that everything that is happening has been seen before by him and by all the mysteries that answer the prayers of the priest for the people in need. We have been there before and we will remain after.

He reminds me that the work of my hands belongs to my spirits and is therefore holy work. When I walk into the homeless shelters where the most vulnerable are going to become ill, they walk with me because their children are the sick and the suffering, the dying, the forgotten, and the abandoned. He can’t promise me that I will not become ill, but he can promise me that, no matter what happens, they will be beside me and that they did not lift me up to cast me aside. 

The space between breaths is where Loko sits right now, in that space that where, if I hold it, my lungs might burn just a little. That’s not lost on me right now.

Apre delij la, fòk tout bagay ap chanje.

[heartmindalignedspirit]

People so rarely talk about the emotional nature of the Rada nachon and the healing they can provide. I have been SWIMMING in tears this week and the entire time, La Sirène has been by my side, singing soothing songs for my soul🧜🏾‍♀️🎶 Papa Loko has been next to me with herbal tinctures and teas to keep my energy up🌿 Klemezin, Filomez and Lovana have been taking turns sweeping away negative thoughts and bathing my mind in a gentle sort of clarity.🧹🧺🧼

Oh, the nurturing! Oh, the support! Oh, the blessings! Ayibobo!

🤍💙💗

[rockofeye]

Bon fet Twa Wa! Bon fet tout asogweman!

Today is a big day in Haitian Vodou. Traditionally, January 6 is the celebration of Three Kings Day, which is the culmination of a very hot season, and many temples hold a special ceremony on/around the 6th for all the Petwo spirits. This is the time when we make our baths for luck and blessings (or the lwa make them for us...you have not lived until you have seen a traditional Twa Wa ceremony) and pray for open ways and enough of all the things we need to survive and thrive in the coming year.

It is also a day for all asogweman; all the houngan and manbo asogwe throughout the religion. Some folks call asogwe priests the kings of the religion, and I can see why...all work is brought to a logical conclusions under asogweman and all ceremonies need at least one (but in reality many) asogwe to be able to be done completely and correctly.

It is a special day for houngan and manbo asogwe to remember their elders; their initiatory parent and all who carried the asson before them and made their emergence from the djevo possible. We especially remember Papa Loko, the first houngan and the lwa who is the father of all asogweman; he is who allows the houngan/manbo asogwe to do their work and continue the legacy they have been allowed to take up. In reality, in the frame of the houngan/manbo asogwe, he is the king and he is who makes all of us possible.

I give thanks for tout lwa yo nan nasyon Petwo a, who give bring explosive heat and fiery transformation and who reweave the fabric of my life to best meet my needs.

I kiss the ground in front of Papa Loko because he saved my life and gave me life, and because he has always kept his promises to me. Without his blessing, I would be nothing.

Jou a la, jou a la e....

[heartmindalignedspirit]

Preparations for Fet Damballah, honoring Papa Loko and Mambo Ayizan also 🐍🍀 Sosyete Nago, 2019

[rockofeye]

Towke asson at Fet Damballah 2019. The language of the asson safeguards the priesthood and ensures that Loko's gift and knowledge are utilized in the traditional manner.

[heartmindalignedspirit]

Called out at the fet...

...I knew it would come to this.

Mambo Maude was mad at me when I called her on Thursday before Fet Damballah on Saturday. 🐍🍀🐍🍀

“I haven’t heard from you in so long! I don’t know why you don’t call me!” I hadn’t spoken to her since Fet Gede in November. I’m still surprised by how long I lived in denial, finding almost any excuse to justify my procrastination. What a moron I was to upset such a calm, poised woman...

I felt terrible preparing for Fet Damballah knowing that nothing going on in my life, no matter how chaotic or heavy; and no amount of introversion are good enough reasons to distract me from committing to serving the spirits. I meant to call Maude in November. I did. I even gave myself a timeline. Just... excuses. 🤥

When I got to Maude’s house for the fet at 8pm last night, I was surprised to be very warmly welcomed by the house! Many people from Fet Gede came back and remembered me, the drummers remembered me, some of the priests remembered me and Maude gave me a huge smile on her way downstairs.

I calmed down. She didn’t hold a grudge.

It was about five hours before things got started. After singing the Priye, Maude welcomed everyone to the house using her microphone. She thanked us for joining her for the occasion, thanked us for coming the distances we traveled, made a call for unified celebration and told us the date of next month’s fet. I smiled. She was in a good mood and glad that I came back.

Here’s the sneaky and scolding (without shaming) shade of a mother, an elder and a Haitian Vodou priestess:

“Make sure you enjoy yourselves and then, call me in the next few days to tell me how you liked it.” She scanned the section of the room I was sitting in but looked at no one in particular. Nervously, I giggled and shook my head, knowing she was talking to me. I was already ashamed. Shame on me. Shame!

“I’M NOT LYING!” She slightly raised her already amplified voice, looked directly at me and right in my eyes. 👀 Yikes! 😱😬😖 More nervous giggling, this time from me joined by those around me.

I heard her. I got it. This isn’t a choice. It’s a necessity. My feelings and my ego don’t matter here. It’s like the question Maude asked me when I gave her my excuses for not coming around, on the phone:

“Do you know what it is to be vulnerable?”

😟😫

She sees everything. The spirits see everything. There’s no use trying to hide here. You simply cannot hide from or escape the spirits when they want you. Like the Mafia, they will find you and if they can’t, they’ll make your life a living Hell until you remember that they’re in charge. They’ll also send a priest/ess when you ignore their reminders (which I definitely did) to discretely but directly call you out at a fet. It’s bad enough I dislike crowds, parties and strangers. When I asked Houngan Alex about this over tea, he said (paraphrased), They know us and our limits. They may push us beyond our comfort zones so we can grow but they’re not trying to intentionally embarrass or hurt us.

My biggest fear is being called into the middle of the party by a spirit and having my personal business put on front street. Okay, so they didn’t call me to the middle of the circle but they certainly called me to the carpet!

Oh! Her eyes pierced my soul! 😖 I am still cringing. I get it! I’ll commit. 😶 So embarrassing... 😞

[rockofeye]

Today, I give thanks for Loko, the first houngan, the lwa who allows priests to use his asson, and the father of all asogwe priests. Without his approval, an asogwe cannot be born and cannot complete the functions of their job.

M di mesi mesi mesi anpil pou ou e tout kado ou ban nou, gwo houngan m. San ou, nou pa gen asson la, nou pa gen fey yo la, nou pa gen lavi a, nou pa gen Vodou a. Gras a Dye, gras a Loko, gras a tout lwa yo, gras a tout Marassa yo, gras a tout mo yo, e gras a manman m, nou kenbe asson ou la ak fòs, konesans, gratitid, e imilite. Nou pa bliye ki nap oblije fe pou ou, pou tout lwa yo, pou manman nou, e pou kominote nou. M dogwe chak jou pou ou, papa m.