Toby ran home as soon as Ally had ended the call, panting as he jogged up the stairs to the apartment. Opening the door as quickly as he could and making his way to room, tearing the comforter off his bed before turning around and jogging back out of the apartment. He paused once he got back onto the sidewalk, walking over to his car and climbing in. Putting the key in the ignition, he pulled his seatbelt across his body and threw the comforter onto the seat next to him, quickly checking behind him before pulling away from the sidewalk and driving down the street. The drive to the Empire State building was short, and after parking his car, grabbing the comforter, and paying to get into the building, he jogged over to the elevator, standing awkwardly between an old woman and a group of tourists. He sighed when the elevator stopped, stepping out quickly and looking around in an attempt to locate his girlfriend. When he finally spotted her, he smiled, walking up behind her and wrapping the comforter around her, as well as his arms. “Hey beautiful,” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss against her cheek.
Ally stared out through the fencing on the 86th floor of the Empire State building, her arms wrapped around herself. The world felt like it was closing in on her and despite her sister and her best friends trying to help, things still felt so incredibly overwhelming. So of course, she ran, as per usual. The only problem this time, was that she had nowhere to go. Ally had no special place in NYC that was like Cinderella’s castle to her, where she could get her bearing back and think things out. There was nowhere for her to go to feel safe and get her mind back in control, and that scared her even more. After returning Evelyn’s car, she’d walked over here and impulsively bought a ticket for the observation deck and here she was. Toby’s voice startled her out of her daze and she immediately felt the warmth of his blanket and his arms wrap around her body. “Hey,” she responded quietly, turning around to look at him. He’d been worried about her, she knew that much, but she didn’t mean to worry him at all when she left. “I’m really sorry I scared you when I left. I never meant for you to worry about me. I just needed to think…”
Toby looked down into Ally’s eyes, feeling all of the anxiety that had been eating away at him internally melt away. He leaned down, capturing her lips in a tender kiss before pulling away and pressing his lips against her forehead, a soft sigh slipping from his throat. “It’s okay, sol mea. I’m just glad that you’re safe, and okay,” His arms tightened around the comforter, pulling her closer and just holding her silently for a few long moments. “Baby, you know you can talk to me about anything, right? I want to be able to help you when things get too.. overbearing. And if that means leaving you alone to think, that’s fine, but if there’s anything that I can do, I’ll do it.”
Ally listened quietly as her boyfriend spoke, feeling the lump in her throat grow bigger at his words. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes and despite willing them away as much as she could, she felt one slide down her face. Her hand quickly swiped at the stray tear as she took a deep breath. “I…,” she began, burying her face into his chest to hide the tears that were already starting to fall, choking her up before she could get even one full word out of her mouth. “…I’m scared…” She was able to get two words out before she completely broke in his arms, the insecurities and the doubt and all the pent-up emotions inside of her finally escaping. “…I’m not good enough for you…b-but I don’t know how to be w-without you…”
Toby felt his heart crack in his chest as his girlfriend broke down. Slipping his arms under the comforter, he pulled her as close as he possibly could, pressing desperate kisses against her forehead. “Ally,” He whispered, unwinding one arm from around her body to cup her chin, lifting her head so he could see her face. “Baby,” He tried again, his eyes soft. “You are good enough. You are so much more than you give yourself credit for, and I wish that you could see that. It breaks my heart to think that you can’t see how incredible you are. You’re so amazing, baby. The things you make me feel are just.. unbelievable.” He trailed off, leaning down and catching her lips again, kissing her passionately as he tried to convey just how much he loved her with the kiss.
Ally couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down her face, clinging onto her boyfriend like her life depended on it. She kissed him back, allowing herself to enjoy the moment and melt into his arms, wishing these insecurities of hers would disappear, even if just for one day. Pulling back slightly for air, she sniffled softly, a few stray tears falling down her already tear-stained cheeks. “I don’t understand,” she hiccuped, shaking her head, meeting his gaze once again. “I’m broken, don’t you get it? My whole life, all I was ever told was that I wasn’t good enough. I’d never be good enough, for anyone. I don’t deserve you, Toby!” Her eyes watered again and it took all of her strength to look away from him as another sob racked her body, her shoulders shaking as one of her hands flew up to cover her mouth. “I don’t deserve you, b-but I can’t let you go…,” she sobbed, leaning against his chest.
Toby’s hand moved from her chin to her cheek, his thumb swiping over the damp flesh and brushing away the tears as they fell from her beautiful eyes. He sighed, tears stinging behind his eyes. “Ally,” He breathed, his eyebrows furrowing as he closed his eyes, sucking in a deep breath to prevent himself from crying. The last thing she needed was him breaking down too. “My dad used to hurt me, Ally. Not just physically, but mentally too. He used to tell me that no-one would like me, let alone love me. And I used to believe him.. But then I met you.” His arms tightened around her body, his fingers digging into her shirt. “Please don’t ever let me go, baby. Please.”
Ally cried harder at her boyfriend’s confession, wrapping her arms around him tightly, sobbing for the way they’d both been broken far beyond repair by parents who cared more about themselves than their children. “I’m so sorry, baby,” she whispered, pressing her forehead to his and trying to control her crying. “I had no idea… You never told me much about him, except for the night in my dorm room.” Lifting his face to meet her gaze, she shrugged her shoulders and felt a few more tears slip from her eyes. “I love you so much,” she promised, “so much that it hurts sometimes. But I can’t let you go, even if I wanted to. Toby, I…” She trailed off, feeling another sob hit her body, gasping through the tears as she shook her head and tried to continue. “…I won’t let you go if you won’t let me go. I’m scared of how much I need you…If you ever decide to walk away…”
Toby shook his head, his eyes watering as he sniffed, trying his hardest not to let the tears fall. “It’s.. It’s not important right now,” He sighed, leaning his head against her and looking into her eyes. “What’s important, is you and me, nothing else, okay? Just us.” He breathed, his hands clasping behind her back. “I love you, Ally. I love you more than I ever thought possible, and I can’t walk away. I wouldn’t survive without you. Babe, I barely lasted a week without you. I couldn’t.. I won’t ever walk away.”
Ally gazed into his eyes as their forehead were pressed together, nodding softly. “Okay,” she breathed, swallowing the lump in her throat. “You and me. Just us.” She pushed the voice in her head as far back as she could, trying desperately to ignore the what ifs and doubts floating around her mind. The voice and her insecurities would never disappear, she knew that. But…maybe they could be broken together. She definitely didn’t deserve him, that was for sure…but she also couldn’t ignore just how much they both needed each other. “Promise? Because I’ve never needed anyone as much as I need you and it scares me, Toby. It scares me because you believe in me, so much more than I believe in myself and I don’t want to disappoint you.” She sniffled again, swiping at the wetness on her cheeks as she fought back another round of tears. “I’m trying to be everything I can for you…but I don’t think I could bear to be a disappointment. Not again and not to you.”
Toby felt his lips quirk into a small, crooked smile. “Just us,” He repeated, his eyes soft but firm as he nodded slightly. He knew he wouldn’t be able to take away Ally’s doubts overnight, but he’d never stop trying. He was going to be what she needed, he promised himself that. “I promise you, baby. I need you just as much as you need me, maybe even more.” He said, his tone serious as he looked down at her. “Baby, you could never disappoint me. I don’t care what you do, it won’t happen. I love you so much. So, so much.”
Ally gazed out over the fencing at the dark sky, snuggling into her boyfriend’s warmth. It had been a couple of hours since Toby had found her up here and calmed her down. The security guard she’d made friends with stood just a couple hundred feet from them with his back turned, allowing them privacy and ushering others away from their secluded area. Pulling Toby’s comforter tighter around her body, she leaned her back against his chest and sighed, squeezing his fingers laced with hers. “…Thank you for coming to find me, by the way. I know I never said that earlier, but I really do mean it.”
Toby smiled and shook his head, resting his chin lightly against her shoulder. “I’ll always come and find you, baby,” He whispered, pressing a gentle kiss against the side of her neck. “I don’t think I could bare to be away from you for too long, especially when I don’t actually know where you are.” He sighed softly, wrapping his arms tighter around her and squeezing her hands in return. “I love you, Allyson Wilde. I could never be without you.”
Ally smiled to herself, feeling her cheeks blush red at his words. “I love you too, Toby Puckerman. This is the only place around here that I feel safe in…like everything’s going to be okay, even when I feel like my world is collapsing around me.” She looked over her shoulder at her boyfriend, feeling herself melt into his embrace. “This is my special place… here in your arms.”
