Hard Times // Self-Para
Who: Barry Allen. Mentions of Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow, Eobard Thawne (literally before we got one), @irisxwest, Joe West, CCPD.
Where: All over the city, CCPD & Iris’ place.
When: 23rd March 2020
Notes: Barry hangs up his suit....for now
Triggers: Depression, anxiety, sad Barry
Word count: Sadly not in the 1,000s but 720.
Barry stared at his suit and let out a sigh before he closed the door on it at Star Labs. It wasn’t an easy decision, something about hanging up his suit hurt, but he needed to do it. He walked around the coms, sat down on one of the chairs and stared at his suit. For years, it had been like a second piece of clothing he would wear. Sometimes he ended up sleeping in the suit, especially if he was too tired to change out of it at the end of the day. Sure, he had his bad days in the suit as well, but he had more good days than bad.
He sighed as he gotten out of the chair, walking away from his suit and grabbed his light jacket. He slipped it on as he headed to the police station, seeing if he could get any work done there. Once he got there, he said hello to a few of his co-workers, making sure he didn’t run into Joe and made a beeline to his work area. He opened up the door, seeing how he left it the other day, bored with lines connecting to different theories when it came to his mother’s murder and trying to prove his father’s innocents, string everywhere on the board, empty fry containers and things that needed to be processed. He looked at his things, not knowing what to do or where to even start. Barry chewed on his bottom lip once he sat down in his chair, tapped on the desk and glanced at the board, knowing that he needed to clean it up. Save that for later he thought to himself before he got up and paced around the place. He knew that things would be different if he didn’t have his powers, he wouldn’t have met Cisco, Caitlin or Dr. Wells, who was Ebon Thawne. He wouldn’t meet a lot of people; his life would be still ordinary and him pinning after Iris.
Barry was about to sit back down when he felt his phone vibrate, pulled it out and saw it was Joe. He quickly replied, letting him know that he would be there for dinner and pocketed his phone again. He slid his hands into his pockets as he sat down on the desk and looked up at the ceiling, letting out a sigh and wondered why was he chosen to be the Flash? Sure, he had wondered this before but now, he really wondered why. He let out a breath as he closed his eyes and spun around slowly in his chair. He ran a hand through his hair before he started to think about Iris and how she was feeling about all of this.
Was he really doing this for him? Or was he doing this because of her and doesn’t want her to be worried? He bit down on his bottom lip, knowing he was doing this for her and him. Without her, there wouldn’t be The Flash. He stopped in mid-spin, when he realized why he was feeling so down about himself. He hadn’t been fully honest with her about his feelings and everything, he was still guarded. The last time he tried doing that, he got punched by Eddie and well, that could’ve gone better. He chewed on his bottom lip, knowing that was part of the problem, it wasn’t the full reason of why he was feeling down about himself as The Flash, but that could be the start of it?
He let out a groan, as he pushed himself out of the chair and headed out of the lab, leaving everything in its place, minus the chair. He headed back to his place, not using his powers since he knew that the walk would help clear his mind a bit more. He slowed down a bit when he realized that he was heading in towards of Iris’ place, making the rash decision to turn around before he could end up at her door. Then he turned back around, knowing that it would be the best idea for him if he did end up going to Iris’ place. That way, he wasn’t alone and with her, instead. Once he approached her door, he knocked and waited for her to answer.