SPREAD THE WORD! ZINE, PLEASE! IS PROUD TO ANNOUNCE OUR UPCOMING THIRD VOLUME!
The third volume you've all been waiting for is here! Following the success of our previous two volumes, the Zine, Please! team is proud to announce we'll be bringing you another volume full of Check, Please! goodness made by the fans for the fans!
As with our previous iterations, this will be a multi-month affair, with sign-ups happening in October 2024, check-ups happening throughout the process, and the zine being published in free PDF format in June 2025.
This volume's theme is.... #TripleTrouble!
'Swawesome things come in threes! For this volume, we want you all to explore the shenanigans, celebrate the triumphs, and dive into the inner workings and dynamics of all your favorite Check, Please! trios!
There's endless trios to choose from, some more familiar than others. I mean, who can forget the most iconic canon trios? We're talkin' Ransom, Holster, Lardo! We're thinkin' Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot! We're screeeamin' Chowder, Dex, Nursey!
If you're willing to go outside the box, think about trios you'd love to see together who the fandom hasn't seen! Who among us is brave enough to put the Jack's Type Trio of Bitty, Camilla, and Kent in a room together? Hell, we could even take a dive into Deep Fandom Lore that OG fans may remember with the No Chill Trio of Lardo, Nursey, Kent.
Be it everyone's faves with polyfrogs, tadpoles content, or unlikely trios we'd all kick and squeal about, it's all welcome for this volume!
Gather your fave Check, Please! trios, go forth, and wreck havoc with #TripleTrouble!
Sign-ups open October 15, 2024!!!
More specific guidelines will be released when sign-ups open. 'Till then, look forward to seeing feature posts for previous amazing zine contributions, fun polls, and more from our team! Make sure to check out our carrd for our FAQ, previous volumes, our contributor server, and more info!
---Zine, Please! Admin Team
Zine, Please! Carrd
Because, surprise! This bullet!fic is already an actual fic, to the tune of 75k words, written last fall for OMGCP Big Bang 2018. (@shipped-goldstandard made SUPER awesome playlists for it here, here, and here, and @khashanakalashtar made a podfic, too, for those interested
So, like, congrats if it’s the first time you ever heard about it, you don’t have to read this post and go, ‘frickety-frack, this person should actually write this fic instead of dangling these tantalizing plot points in front of me, like, wtf, bro, NOT COOL.’
To those of you who have heard of this fic (and are interested in “”the creative process””):
If you ever wonder how I plot/outline my stories, here it is in all its messy glory. Mind you, I only occasionally write it all out like this—mostly it gets talked out in conversations with my sister and my beta readers, but, generally speaking, this is how it goes, and I do often write significant plot points out in this way as a goalpost for me to reach.
So without further ado, here we go!!
(CW: mentions of homophobia, biphobia, toxic masculinity in pro sports/sports culture, canon-typical depictions of anxiety and drug abuse, including Jack’s overdose. proceed with caution if needed
red in tooth and claw, outlined
Intro POV: Jack. Focus on how he doesn’t settle until he’s 16, reflection of how who he is conflicts with who he thinks he’s supposed to be—spends half of juniors w/o settling; Isolde (meaning “ice queen”) fakes being a wolf most of the time, which is what Bad Bob’s daemon is
NHL and other contact sports have GOT to be interesting in this world—how do people handle having daemons??? Canonically, can’t get too far from your daemon w/o getting hurt so your daemon has to be a part of your sport. Easier with closer/smaller playing fields like tennis and golf, bit of a hassle when it comes to soccer and hockey
(lmao, imagine track and field though? Daemons have to either be small or fast depending—interesting take on how early sports training shapes identity—imagine how all that focus/work/ambition would influence your personality, influence the shape your daemon takes)
Jack & Isolde do a pretty good job of not letting anyone know they haven’t settled, do the anxiety meds help with that? Or hurt??
Isolde = the dorky, sweet side of Jack. Perfectionist, drawn to people while still being introverted, harder on herself than she has to be, constantly trying to support Jack, be the daemon Jack wants; she’s all his softest bits personified as a cute furball, basically
Enter Kent & Valkyria—bad-ass lion, Valkyria = all the outrageous, ambitious bits of Kent, with a side of aloofness/representation of his distrust in the world/unwillingness to make himself smaller—wars with his people-pleasing nature, caring about what others think. She’s so unusual people have to notice him, so big she can’t be ignored, but how does that play in when the people they want most to notice them don’t????
His mom has a raven, history of witches in the family—he and Val can separate pretty far, makes them an asset in the eyes of NHL
Kent aggressively pursues Jack as a friend; Valkyria and Isolde get their act together waaaaaaay before the boys, wlw daemons anybody??? Cue all the touching and sitting in laps and cellys echoed by Val & Isolde’s physical relationship. Closeness of daemons lead to rumors
Everything’s going good in yr. 1 but then!!! BIG REVEAL: Jack loses his shit when he takes a bad hit, Isolde turns into a [lion?? Bear??? TIGER??? Something threatening] and defends Valkyria
Cue big mess, awkwardness, questions about whether Jack can hack it—Kent goes no, no, we can turn this around
They end Yr. 1 very close to being the champs thanks to phenomenal teamwork between Jack and Kent, taking advantage of Jack and Isolde not settling to transform into whatever form gives Isolde the advantage
Summer happens—Jack invites Kent over for first time!! Sometime in the midst of all their work-outs, training, chirping, etc., is The Get-Together!!!!
JACK TOUCHING VAL!!!! KENT TOUCHING ISOLDE!!!! ALL THE SEX!!!!
BUT OH NO!!!! ISOLDE SETTLES AT THE END OF THE SUMMER—AS A BADGER. Somewhat solitary, gentle except provoked, loyal, vicious when threatened aLSO NOT WHAT PEOPLE EXPECT A FUTURE NHL STAR TO SETTLE AS
Weirdly enough, Jack becoming comfortable around Kent meant he was more comfortable in his own skin, which lead to Isolde settling, which resulted in them spiralling towards self-loathing and stress, because they didn’t want to settle as a badger. D:
Val is fine with it, Kent is fine with it; deep down even Jack can feel how this is the form that suits the two of them best—but he still hasn’t fully accepted it. T.T
Around this time is the start of his heightened dependence on his meds
Pushes himself harder on the ice—even if his daemon isn’t the typical large, fast-moving, traditional apex predator expected of somebody aiming to make in the NHL, Isolde can still be an asset
(And even if she’s not, all Jack has to do is be good enough to make up for it right???)
Increased dependence on Val—what people used to see as awesome teamwork now gets thrown around as Jack using Kent’s daemon as a crutch. “Can he hack it if there wasn’t a fucking lioness guarding his back? I don’t think so.”
HILARIOUS if you think about it, b/c it’s not like there aren’t goons specifically with big, bad daemons in the NHL to help protect the guys whose daemons are less then optimal when playing?? Vegas literally has a bunch of daemons who could fill Val’s role, easy, lmao
Possibly work in some of the ableism/homophobia/misogyny aspects of NHL through treatment of daemons??—most NHL players naturally have female daemons, but are the daemons respected??? Probs not usually the focus of what teams look at, but DO play a lot into the image of a player.
A team’s daemons should be close, but not too close, haha. Should never speak in public, should always be an asset, seen more as tools than as living parts of a person’s soul, also vague sense that if a daemon isn’t always tough, put-together, ready to throw down, then the player is also “weak,” a “sissy,” etc.
Daemon teamwork is also looked down upon if it isn’t in the context of a fight—say you put somebody else’s daemon on a sled or something and another daemon drags it—technically allowed but not much used in hockey—a part of reason why Samwell is a good fit for Jack and later on Bitty is because they use unconventional methods like this
Most people eyeing the draft are of the opinion that Jack is the better player but Kent has the better daemon: “If only they’d switched,” is the usual lament.
34 perfect days
More underneath the cut!!!
THE OVERDOSE—is Kent the one to find Jack? Probs. Closeness to death results in Isolde almost disintegrating, but Kent and Val manage to keep them alive long enough for help to arrive.
Imagine Kent in the ambulance, not letting anybody else touch Isolde, Val growling at anybody who gets near.
Finally has to let her go so they can take them into the ER
Kent in a hospital waiting room, Val at his feet, taking up so much space but feeling so small and helpless
what if he dies
he doesn’t die; he wakes up and he doesn’t want them anymore; Kent’s not sure if that’s worse or better some days, selfish as that is
THE DRAFT
Kent goes first; Jack doesn’t
Jack cuts off contact; Isolde is Not Happy, but she does what Jack wants, b/c it’s what he needs
(he wouldn’t have overdosed if she could have been what he needed)
Eventually they end up at Samwell, as in canon; Samwell good fit b/c of unusual team dynamics; there are a number of unusual daemons there and Samwell is known for accommodating the unusual
Thanks to nearly dying, Jack and Isolde can separate pretty far now, though, so all the sports commentators were wrong about that aspect of them being a burden on a team. *cue bitter laughter*
ENTER BITTY & ELEUTHYMIA
Eleuthymia—red fox, or possibly arctic? I think red b/c they’re more social, but maybe arctic b/c hockey??? Idk, we’ll see. Name a combination of Eleuthera = freedom + suffix -thymia = soul; fake Greek obviously b/c I really don’t think that’s how those two works but who cares!!!
Elle for short
She is exactly as personable and kind and gregarious as Bitty, with more salt thrown in; if Isolde is all of Jack’s soft bits personified, then Ellie is all of Bitty’s teeth collected into a bundle of uncompromising, will-survive-at-all-costs, you-better-believe-she’ll-bite-the-hand-that-tries-to-feed-her-poison
Still nice and sweet to the people she loves, of course
Bitty’s freshman year goes as expected—bad first impression of Jack? Check. Haus still rowdy and stocked w/nothing but Sriracha? Check. 4 a.m. checking clinics? Check.
Bitty and Elle cannot believe that somebody as grumpy as Jack has a daemon as sweet as Isolde, btw. It’s just unreal.
(Oh Bitty. You and first impressions. You really should’ve taken a closer look at what it meant for Jack’s soul to be so sweet.)
((It’s even funnier with Val later on, lmaooo))
Concussion—turning point here, too. Isolde takes it v. hard that she wasn’t able to defend Elle; increased physical affection here
Sophomore Year: Bitty gets better at hockey, Jack gets courted by the Falcs, there’s baking of pies, blah blah blah BUT THEN!!!!
EPIKEGSTER!!!!!!
It goes pretty similar to canon, except more tension b/c 4 people are involved in this argument instead of just 2; Val actually tries to get Kent to cool down but he’s not listening, Isolde is trying to explain Jack’s thought process but it’s just. A Mess.
“I miss you.” “You always say that.”
Jack happens to cut off Isolde saying ‘I miss you, too’ to Val at that exact same second
Unlike Bitty, Elle pretty much goes up to the door to eavesdrop
Val is NOT HAPPY with Kent post-Epikegster; there’s going to be an interim chapter that is basically a Day in the Life of Kent Parson, Captain of the Aces and Raging Fire Dumpster.
Btw, Purrs and Kit are still around as their pets/part of Val’s makeshift pride :)
But anyway Val refuses to talk to Kent for a month after the Epikegster—really unusual for a daemon and their human, but if ever there was a character at war with themselves, it’s gonna be this idiot
Prompts Kent to finally fricking find a good therapist, AMEN.
((//Sidenote: In the process of writing this fic, I managed to literally externalize Jack and Kent’s issues, and I am still so pleased with myself that I’m going to quote my up-at-11-p.m-while-being-awake-since-6-a.m. ass:
i have finally articulated what i feel are the major problems in jack and kent's communication issues and i am so frickin' proud of myself, i didn't even realize i literally personified them in my fic but i did. and now i feel so smart!!
so, jack's issue is self-deception, and kent's is avoidance, and Isolde literally lies to Jack and Val literally avoids Kent
and i'm all 'THIS IS SYMBOLISMMMMM'
But yeah. Daemons, man, they’re super useful for making explicit what is implicit in a text. //ends sidenote))
Continuing on!
The Big Damn Kiss (of Yr2)
It happens
Imagine Isolde running alongside Jack across the quad, though, Elle just lounging on Bitty’s bed while they’re both holding back tears when Jack and Isolde burst in, lol
Year 3 & 4—goes differently. Jack still wins the Cup, but he and Bitty don’t come out; mostly this year goes by in a few paragraphs of description that leads into the time-skip
Falcs are great, though!! Lot of unusual daemons, too, which is why Jack is a good fit there
Sometime in the middle of this, Kent apologizes. Jack apologizes. They slowly become cautiously friendly acquaintances
Except ‘acquaintance’ is entirely the wrong word when what you mean is ‘the love of my previous life,’ and the wording of that is important, because it’s not as if they were the ‘previous love of my life’ to each other—no, it’s that somedays it feels like the Jack who was with Kent was a different person entirely, that life is so divergent from the fork that he eventually ended up taking
He still misses him though.
(Is he talking about the self he used to be? Is he talking about Kent? ARE WE EVER GOING TO KNOW FOR SURE????)
Post-grad—Bitty settling in with Jack, having a job as a media consultant or something??? I’LL SEE. Their relationship is very good, pretty awesome, etc., etc.
Except.
Except as fond as Isolde is of Elle, and as much as she likes Bitty, part of her is always, always, always going to long for Valkyria
Id vs. superego, Isolde as Jack’s id going pretty much directly over what his conscious mind has decided is the route for them
Except that Isolde is never going to act on her feelings, of course. That would hurt Jack, and she’s never going to hurt Jack
Cue Bitty and Elle, begrudgingly at first, trying to friend-woo Kent Parson so Isolde can date Valkyria
Kent has pretty much no idea why Jack’s boyfriend starts being so nice to him out of the blue??? But okay, he’ll take it, the kid’s pretty nice, even if he wants to murder him and take his place somedays
Val likes Bitty, though, the traitor
Listen to your subconscious Kent. You’d be happier if you just acknowledged what you wanted, Kent.
But anyway. Kent’s over Jack. He really is. Really really is.
…which is why, six months in, he’s sort of surprised to find out he’s kinda, sorta, maybe just a litttttttle bit fallen for Jack’s boyfriend.
Just his fucking luck.
But then! Kent meets someone new: Lena & her daemon, Samson.
Bitty and Elle are NOT pleased with this wrench thrown into their plans btw
Like. Not pleased AT ALL.
Isolde’s fucking heartbroken, not that she admits it, but she also wants to be happy for Val?? Like. That’s honestly so great for her. She’ll just. Be over here. Quietly devastated.
(Val’s over there smiling tightly and going ‘yes! here’s my new bae! he’s….great.’ *cue tight grimace-smile*)
He’s not as great as Isolde—nobody’s as great as Isolde. But it’s early days yet. Maybe he’ll grow on her. She liked him a lot at first, after all! These are probably just speed-bumps in the relationship.
(Spoiler alert: They are not speed-bumps. He does not grow on her.)
But anyway! Things go well for Kent and Val and their new significant others, until they don’t.
Basically they discover that Lena is biphobic, and a bit of an exclusionary feminist (not a TERF, but definitely the kind of feminist that looks down on housewives and women who like romance novels and Downton Abbey).
They still stick with her until Lena crosses gets upset that Val won’t let her touch her, and she breaks up with him at his own birthday party.
Cue Bitty and Elle reviving Plan Seduce Kent & Val to Make Isolde Happy!!!
((A/N: Regarding Lena—I wanted Kent to date, which he did, to varying degrees of success. And I wanted him to have a decent shot at moving on—enter Lena.
I actually fleshed her out a little too much, initially, to the tune of 5k words I had to cut out which detailed their meet-cute and the early parts of their relationship. It just didn’t work out for the story though?? If it was endgame PB&J I couldn’t afford to have her be too likeable, for my own good if nothing else, because otherwise I’d have just had her run off with Kent into the sunset and that. Like. Would torpedo my plans.
I WAS *50K* IN AT THAT POINT OKAY! I COULDN’T HAVE MY RANDOM OC TAKE OVER!!! EXCEPT THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I WRITE OCs!!!!
So it’s honestly very unlikely I can write KentxOC WITHOUT them being endgame as a result unless I make the character unlikeable or have her move cross-country for no discernible reason. -deep sigh-
So yes I completely admit plot being a part of why I wrote Lena being a bitch, but I also really like her as a character, honestly.
Like. She’s very real to me, in the sense that what I eventually did was write her as someone close to Kent’s ideal: smart, funny, snarky, just a little bit mean, and just a little bit vulnerable underneath it all.
She likes Kent, very genuinely, and Kent likes her, very genuinely. If they’d both been slightly different people, they would’ve worked out together.
But I knew from the start that I wanted to show that Kent had grown. Kent at 19, at 20—hell, even at 24—might’ve stayed with Lena, but Kent at 27 knew that they weren’t good for each other in the long run.
Like, I wrote Lena as that one awesome person that you get closer to and find out that, oh, fucking hell, their politics do not align with yours. And not even on the big issues! You’re totally in-sync in the big issues! They just get the details wrong.
So, yes, Lena is the embodiment of my issues with white liberal feminists who fail ever-so-slightly at intersectionality, because so many of them would be so great!!! except I just cannot with the microagressions, holy hell.))
A N Y W A Y
Kent has absolutely no idea that Bitty and Elle, in the midst of Plan Seduce Kent & Val to Make Isolde Happy, have inadvertently fallen for him themselves.
“I do not believe this,” Bitty says, looking at Elle in stupefied horror. “You like her.”
“I don’t!” Elle protests, waving her tail frantically. “I just think she’s really nice to nap on!”
Bitty waves his arms, equally frantic. “That means you like her!”
Jack, in the meantime, is just. Conflicted. Like. What is he even supposed to feel? He’s glad that Bitty and Kent are becoming such surprisingly good friends, except it sort of hurts because Parse is still keeping him at an arm’s length, and now there’s not even the excuse of long distance, is there, if he’s so close to Bitty? It’s just Jack, isn’t it? He’s choosing not to be close to him, and Jack can’t blame him.
Still hurts, though.
Long story short—mutual pining, longing glances, the daemons (esp. Val) internally screaming ‘just get together already!!!’)
Then one day, while Kent is invited over to Jack and Bitty’s place in the summer
Val and Isolde are getting pretty cozy and close, but so are Elle and Val???? Kent doesn’t know what to make of this, other than he and his daemon are always super obvious about their feelings.
It’s probably just friendliness on Bitty’s part, though.
Don’t get your hopes up, Parson. Why do you always do this to yourself, Parson. You are such an idiot, Parson.
A N Y W A Y
Bitty is just lounging in the living room one day, face-down on the couch dramatically de-compressing form the day as he recounts what went down at his work (a.k.a. he gossips shamelessly)
Someone shuffles closer to him, and sits on the couch next to him
He thinks it’s Isolde who jumped on the couch to be with him; she loves to cuddle; it’s the obvious assumption to make, honestly!!
It’s not Isolde
It’s Val
It’s Val, placing her head next to him
IT’S VAL
HE JUST FUCKING TOUCHED KENT’S DAEMON OMFGGGGGGG
Bitty is just staring at Val at this point, his hand frozen in her fur as she stares back at him, both of them like deer in the headlights, lololol
Meanwhile, in the other room, Kent and Jack were just talking and chilling and low-key NOT-flirting when Kent cuts off in the middle of a sentence
Jack goes, “what’s wrong?”
Kent says, too fast to be believed, “Nothing.”
Jack, narrows eyes, suspicious, “whenever you say it like that, I know it’s something. Spit it out.”
Except Kent can’t just say that Jack’s boyfriend touched his daemon and now his heart is too warm for his body, can he?? Lbr, in-universe touching someone’s daemon is akin to touching somebody’s dick—like, it’s not always sexual or romantic necessarily but it usually is and it is ALSO definitely at that same level of intimacy, you feel??? Kent can’t just say that, oh my GOD
Except Bitty snaps out of it and starts yelling, “Oh my God! Oh my God I’m so SORRY I didn’t mean to DO THaT. OH MY GOD I thought you were ISOLDE.”
Kent and Jack slide into the room to find Bitty on his knees in front of Val, his hands raised like she’s got a gun pointed at him
Kent immediately tries to reassure him, “haha, it’s fine, dude, we didn’t mind”
“HOW CAN YOU NOT MIND,” Bitty yells
“YEAH,” Elle yells to second him
“Uh, no seriously, it’s fine???”
“WHAT YOU JUST THINK IT’S FINE AND DANDY FOR ANYBODY TO TOUCH YOUR DAEMON????”
“No, but it’s not like you’re just anybody????”
Jack: wait what
Bitty: wait what
Elle: wait what
Kent: wait what
Val, exasperated: It’s fine. I liked it.
Jack, who knows what that means: O.O
Kent, who knows that Jack knows what that means: Val!! Why!!! WOULD YOU!!!! JUST SAY IT LIKE THAT!!!!! JESUS!!!!!!
Bitty: …does that mean what I think it means
Val, rolling her eyes: Yeah. Surprise! We like you!
Isolde: oh.
Jack: oh.
Val, hastening to reassure the other love of her life: We still like you, too, though, babe!!
Isolde: [pleased] Oh!
Kent: LIKE NO PRESSURE THOUGH OMG HAHA WE MEAN THAT AS FRIENDS
Val: LMAO LIKE HELL I DO
Kent: [stubbornly] well, I mean it like friends!!!!
Jack: [disappointedly] oh.
Elle: [suspiciously] …do you though
Kent: ………..ok, maybe just a little bit in the not-friends way
CUE ALL-AROUND CONFESSIONS AND THEY FINALLY FINALLY GET TOGETHER HALLELUJAH!!!!!
Also cue sex scene at this point, b/c that’s honestly how I roll ;) ;) ;)
Probs gonna end it with a cute epilogue of happy domesticity or something, because jeez did Val and Isolde and Elle earn it. :)
And ta-da! That’s the daemon fic in a nutshell, folks! Thanks for sticking it out this long, and if you want to see the fully-fleshed version of it, the link is here. :D
Thanks to everyone for joining this year’s PB&J EpiFest! Posting is over now, but authors/artists will be revealed January 7th, and until then, please enjoy all our lovely works and continue leaving love for our creators!! <3
Tale As Old As Time - 41k - T - In the Pyrenees wine region of France, just a bit southeast of Lourdes, there is a vineyard with a history dating back centuries. Now, this is not the only vineyard in the world with such a long history, nor is it even the oldest vineyard in France, but it is the only one at which you will hear this tale. It starts off, as many tales this old do, with a ‘Once Upon a Time’ and ends, as one would hope, with love.
It is a truth universally acknowledged (that an NHL Bachelor in possession of a good fortune....) - ART - G - Two versions of Pride and Prejudice AUs. One in some semblance of the correct period. One a modern interpretation. Both based off the magnificent 2005 film directed by Joe Wright.
The Cards We’ve Been Dealt - 6k - E - Kent Parson and Jack Zimmermann are long-term CIA partners. They meet Eric "Bitty" Bittle separately, and both want to date him. When they find out they're both crushing on the same guy, they start a friendly competition to make Bitty fall in love with them. Four months later, things get a little out of hand. This Means War AU.
That Dweam Wiffin a Dweam - 9.5k - T - Once upon a time, in the far-off kingdom of Florin, fair Bitty fell in love with his farm boy, Kent. But when Kent seemingly perished at sea, his ship overtaken by the Dread Pirate Parson, and the not-at-all evil Prince Jack found himself in want of a spouse, could Bitty, Jack, and a not-so-dead Kent redefine the rules of True Wuv?
A Dad Dating Adventure - 20.5k - T - When you and your daughter move to an old hockey buddy's cul-de-sac, you aren't expecting to meet (and fall for) two Stanley Cup winners. Will the three of you live happily ever after or will everything fall to pieces? It all depends on what you choose! [A choose-your-own adventure story inspired by Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator.]
Page Turner - 36k - T - Eric Bittle lives a small, charming life. He owns a sweet bookstore, he has good friends, a steady boyfriend and a nice home in New York. From the outside that should be enough, so he doesn't tell anyone about his secret online romance with one NY504, a stranger who makes him feel worthy and at home. It's all innocent, right? | Kent Parson is larger than life. Back in New York after successfully setting up his family's book chain out West, he's ready to make a claim on the city, regardless of who he might run out of business. He loves his family, his boyfriend, and his best friend, and yet somehow feels no guilt over his long-running flirtation with his anonymous ShopBoy. They both have a lot to learn.
Second's Not the Same - 14.5k - E - Bitty finds himself dating two amazing boys. Everything is perfect. // Kent was doing just fine before he saw his ex-boyfriend in a hotel bar.
You Could Miss It - 9k - E - “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." — Ferris Bueller | A Ferris Bueller's Day Off AU where Kent takes his boyfriend, Eric Bittle, and his best friend, Jack Zimmermann, out for a day of fun in New York City.
sundown starts at half-past six - 62k - E - “My true love will have hair the color of yellow apples,” and Jack Zimmermann will take a bite from the forbidden fruit, juice running down his chin. “My true love will be exactly five feet and six-and-a-half inches tall,” and he will chew a leaf from a tree of that same height. “My true love will be as sweet as sugar and sharp as lemon,” and he will drink half a glass of Great-Aunt Cathy’s lemonade, waiting until the last dregs of sugar hit his tongue. “And if a single one of these things is not to be, then let it be known—my true love shall not be he.” (He knows in his bones that this spell won't ever come true. After all, his true love isn't real, and if he's not real, then the curse can't take him. That's the whole point.) | Or, a Practical Magic AU. Wherein Jack Zimmermann must deal with family curses, hockey legacies, accidental manslaughter, Kent Parson's obstinate death wish, and a snarky Southern kitchen warlock who won't mind his own damn business.
A Kent Parson Birthday Bash Reading Guide to: PB&J
This fic reading guide is for PB&J: Parse, Bitty, and Jack! All fic is organized by length, and the ratings and descriptions can be found next to and underneath the titles of all fics. Click the title to read!
”You Look Pretty Good Down Here (But You Ain’t Really Good)” for Bittyybee (Rated E, 5.6k)
Jack finds himself a little overwhelmed at his first BDSM kink party. Luckily, Kent and Bitty are there to show him the ropes.
“Bed and Breakfast” for SummerFrost (Rated M, Art)
Kent's birthday celebration starts a bit early and continues the following morning.
“Best Birthday(s) Ever” for jacksbits (Rated E, 1.8k)
Snippets of Kent's birthday through the years. He's not always around, but he's always on Jack's mind.
“Cherry Pie: 50 min @ 425F” for blindinglights (Rated E, 2.2k)
“Yeah. You want in, Zimms? Or should we get a room?”
“Both?” Jack asked, looking to Bitty.
“Both,” Bitty breathed.
“Both is good.”
(jealousy) get the best of me. for blue_rocket_frost (Rated T, 4.6k)
There’s a familiar couple with warm smiles and crinkled eyes standing at the airport outside his gate with a giant sign sporting his name, and Alicia Zimmermann gives Kent the biggest, warmest hug he’s had off the hockey rink in years. Kent forgot how much he missed that. How much he missed them.
In the excitement of it all, Kent forgets a very, very important thing about Bad Bob Zimmermann.
Bad Bob Zimmermann is a terrible meddler.
“Displaying Our Love” for Omgpieplease (Rated E, 4.9k)
Kent receives a suggestive snap from Bitty. Jack doesn't have sex during the playoffs. Both of these things lead to one of the best nights of Kent's life.
Not Quite Singing in Perfect Harmony for cambo (Rated T, 27k)
Bitty held up his phone with one hand and rubbed his eye with the other. “Kent Parson is engaged?”
“Kent’s engaged,” Jack said. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. Happy for him? Surprised? Something else?
Bitty looked over at Jack and sighed. “Invite him to dinner,” he said.
We’ll be posting separate reading guides for different Kent ships throughout the week, so stay tuned! You can also visit the main challenge page here and browse all fics submitted to the exchange.
Pairings: Bitty/Kent, Kent/Jack, Bitty/Jack/Kent, Bitty/Jack
Rating: Explicit
Word Count: ~106k
Warnings: Stockholm Syndrome, assassins, near death experiences, minor character death, weapons, angst with a happy ending, lots (and lots) of sex
Summary: This is the end, Eric thinks. He's been kidnapped and sentenced to death and this is the end. But well—at least his kidnapper is attractive. He supposes there are worse ways to go.
Author’s Note:
Alternate summary provided by @jacksbits:
bitty: *meets a man who is likely to kill him*
bitty: aw shit
bitty: i'd fuck him tho
All (completely accurate plot) jokes aside, this fic is finally done!!! Wow, what a roller coaster. This fic started with the premise of 'Kent would be a terrible kidnapper, wouldn't he? haha!' and completely snowballed into the story you see here. I had most of everything plotted out (minus some of the twists and sex scenes) from the very beginning, but it took way... way longer to get it all out than I thought it would. Thanks so much to those of you who’ve stuck with it this entire time, and for those who might’ve been waiting for it to finish before you started reading—it’s done!!!
Thanks to @yoursummerfrost and @jacksbits both for reading and betaing the whole entire thing for me. There are many others who I screamed at about this for a good chunk of time, and thanks to all of you as well <3
I hate patater. Not because it's inherently bad, but because I disliked it already and every fucking check please blog on here is swamped with it. If you're a check please blog that doesn't ship Patater can you please like or reblog this so I can follow you? Thank you!
