Realizations of sensations
Its not the first day that I had a single realization over and over.I just trouble remembering all of them.They happen all the time anyway. Ugh! Just when you think its over,another 1 comes up and then I tend to forget the one I had before.
Lately I have realized that I don't miss the person I have the relationship,I miss the warmth of it.You know,someone who is there for you even when family and friends are not.I realize that right now,I actually miss kissing and the embrace of another body or simply the clasp of another hand that says "You are not alone in this". Funny thing is I got these feelings from my second relationship which for the most part was long distance from the very beginning. The more time passes since our breakup,the more I feel that it wasn't supposed to happen from the start.I say this not because I regret it but because it cost me the company of a good person who could have been a good friend had I not jumped into it 'cause of my insecurities.Nevertheless,through that whole phase I realized that sometimes vulnerability makes a fool of you and costs you a lot when you let it control you.Instead of trying to hide my vulnerability for one person,I let myself become vulnerable for another person which incurred me some regrets.I also realized that if you don't love yourself,nobody else can love you long enough either.
I realized that no matter what I do,those who have to walk away will.It doesn't matter if I let them know what I feel about them or try to be there for them. Ultimately,there will always be certain people you can never hold on to.It hurts when someone walks away or you have to walk away. I have realized that pain is not a feeling that is only given to someone when you hurt them,you incur it upon yourself too. You give it to someone,you take it from someone else.Vicious cycle.And I realize once again that I miss the kiss.All of them,sloppy,wet,pecks,ones on d cheek,ones with tongue tussles. May b I should try kissing a random stranger just as Angie suggests.After all I'll be visiting Delhi in a few days,home to a lot of really cute guys.Now I feel exceptionally excited for the few days of madness coming up...! :D
P.S.- I'm complimented on my lips usually,hope i get some more ;)