#paulmatthewskin

[fictionkinfessions]

Fiiiiine I’ll admit it. Musicals are alright. There, I said it. Can I get my coffee now?

— Paul Matthews (Hatchetfield) #📺🎙️💥

placeholder text because tumblr wont let me post ask messages without something in the reply box

[fictionkinfessions]

It's been five and a half years since I died, since everyone died and everything was over. It's been five and a half years since I showed up here in an unscathed body that belongs to someone else in a world where none of that ever happened and none of it mattered. I guess I should be grateful to be alive, but I don't really know how I feel. I don't know. It's just indescribably something to go through the most unimaginably traumatic experience of your life, die horribly trying to stop it from taking out the whole rest of the earth, and then all of a sudden living again and have to act like nothing happened and just be a normal human being. What was that even fucking for?

Sometimes I wonder if this is purgatory. Or some weird hyperrealistic hallucination sequence the hive is pumping directly into my brain to fuck with me as retribution for being so difficult. It's gotten easier to believe this is real lately, but still... I don't know. It's scary.

I know it's stupid, but I still can't use our toothpaste. They need to stop making that shit bright blue. I've gotten a lot better on certain triggers but that one still gets me.

I want this to be the year I start enjoying my second chance. I just want to learn to relax again. I just want to do nothing and appreciate it. I want to eat and drink and sleep and just exist. I don't want everything that happened to rule my life anymore. I just wanna live—I can't let them take that from me.

-Paul Matthews (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)

PS,

Emma, I'm sorry I couldn't save you. I hope whatever versions of you exist here are happy and healthy and safe. I hope wherever you are now is a hell of a lot nicer than Hatchetfield. Please be okay.

x

[fictionkinfessions]

you ever get a kin memory that you did . not expect at all . CONFESSION I MADE OUT WITH BILL IN THE ALLEYWAY NEAR BEANIES AT LEAST ONCE

-paul matthews [starkid]

[fictionkinfessions]

if i had a nickel for every time i kinned a just some guy who goes through the horrors and gets black coffee from a local coffee shop everyday and is blue coded id have 2 nickels which isnt alot but .weird it happened twice - paul matthews [starkid] + guy [free guy]

[fictionkinfessions]

me kinning paul "guy who didnt like musicals" matthews is so funny to me because . i do very much like musicals . if youve known me for more than a day you know this . but not gonna lie the whole apotheosis thing kinda ruined them for me a little tiny bit