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The Nanny

Alfie Solomons x reader

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Recently widowed and left to care for three young daughters on his own, Alfie has no choice but to place his trust in a new nanny. What he doesn’t expect is for her to win over his girls, and slowly steal his heart in the process.

warning/tags: smut, minors DNI, hurt/comfort, inaccurate depiction of how children talk, pussy eating, dirty talk, sexual tension, this is long af so read it with time, girldad Alfie, grief

You stood in front of the small mirror propped against the wall of your shared bedroom. The glass was speckled and dulled by years of damp, but it was enough, you could still see your reflection through the rusted glass. You tilted your chin, studying the face that looked back at you. It was the same face that last week had refused to marry, the same face that’d watched your mother’s mouth go thin when you said the word no.

The dress was the best one you owned, one made of navy wool, the kind meant to say you were serious and not the sort of girl who caused trouble. You smoothed it twice already with the flat of your hands, chasing the wrinkles from the skirt. Your hair was pinned up tightly, the way your mother always insisted was proper, but a few rebellious pieces had already begun to slip free near your temples.

Outside the door you could hear the house moving. Someone was arguing in the kitchen about the last of the tea, one of your younger brothers was being told to stop kicking the table, the baby was crying in the front room, a high sound that rose until your eardrums hurt. You had listened to versions of that sound for as long as you could remember, there were so many of them, siblings, half-siblings, cousins who stayed and never left. Enough children that when the matchmaker came with the name of a man who owned a small draper’s shop and needed a wife who could keep house and produce sons, your family had looked at you as if the answer should already be yes.

But you had said no, and the silence that followed had been worse than shouting. Then the terms had been laid out, if you would not marry, you would work. You would earn your keep, or you would leave.

You had found the notice two days later, pinned to the board outside the labour exchange. Nanny required. Three girls. Live-in. Apply in person. The address was in Camden, a long walk if you took the cheaper route, or a motorbus if you could spare the fare.

You knew children, you’d fed them, washed them, quieted them in the middle of the night when the rest of the house was already asleep. You’d held feverish bodies and sung the same lullabies until your throat went dry. Three girls couldn’t be harder than what you’d already done. And live-in means a bed that is not shared, a door that closed, a place that wasn’t your house.

You picked up the worn satchel that held a change of clothes, in hopes that maybe you’d get the job and you’d have to start immediately, and the letter of character your old neighbour had written for you. Downstairs, the air smelled of boiled cabbage. Your mother didn’t come to the door, she was at the sink, with her sleeves rolled and her back rigid. You pulled on your coat, a heavy one that still smelled of the last person who borrowed it, and stepped out into the late morning.

The kitchen of Alfie’s house had never been a quiet place, but this morning it had crossed some invisible line into complete disaster. Alfie stood at the stove in his shirtsleeves, the braces hanging loose. He was holding a glass of rum, the first of the day, between two fingers in his left hand. In his right he held a wooden spoon that was doing very little actual stirring. The pan in front of him contained what was meant to be scrambled eggs, but it had instead become a greyish mass that stuck to the iron.

Behind him, the table looked as though a small explosion had taken place just seconds ago. There were three mismatched bowls, a half-empty milk bottle already leaving a white ring on the wood, a toast that had gone cold and curled at the edges, and a pot of jam with the spoon still standing upright in it.

Ruth, the youngest one, was still in her nightdress, sitting in the high chair that was slightly too big for her, methodically tips her cup of milk onto the floor one splash at a time. Each new white puddle made her pause, study the result with interest, then tip it again. Sarah, who’d just turned eight a few weeks ago, had refused to sit at all. She stood by the window with her arms folded tightly across her chest, her school pinafore was already on, but the buttons were done up wrong. Her face was set in the particular expression of a child who had decided the entire world was against her and intended to make certain everyone knew it.

“I don’t like eggs,” she announced for the fourth time, raising her voice each time she repeated the same sentence. “And I want the toasts that are soft in the middle. This one is burnt.”

“It is not burnt,” Alfie said without turning around. “It is… caramelised. There is a difference, my darling. A subtle one, but a difference nonetheless. Now sit down and eat the bloody thing before it grows teeth and eats you first.”

Sarah didn’t sit. Leah, the middle child, was on the floor near the dresser, surrounded by a small storm of discarded ribbons, one shoe, and what appeared to be half the contents of the sewing basket. She was screaming, the full-throated and red-faced kind of scream, with tears streaming down her cheeks and dripping onto the front of her dress.

“I can’t find it!” she wailed. “The blue one! The blue ribbon with the little birds! Mummy always put the blue one in and now it’s gone and school starts in— in—” She ran out of breath and simply continued screaming.

Alfie closed his eyes for one long second before setting the spoon down with exaggerated care, as though the spoon itself might be the next thing to start screaming, and turned. “Leah. Leah, my sweet, my little catastrophe, listen to me.” He crouched, his knees cracking with the effort, and tried to catch her flailing hands. “There are approximately fourteen blue ribbons in this house, I have seen them. We’ll find one. We’ll find two if it makes you stop making that noise.”

“It’s not the same!” Leah sobbed. “It has to be the one with the birds. Mummy did the birds.”

Something flickered across Alfie’s face, but it was gone almost before it arrived, he couldn't be mad with his little girl, not after all she'd gone through at such short age. He exhaled through his nose and reached for the nearest hairbrush that had somehow ended up on the floor among the ribbons. “Come here and sit. We are going to do the hair, like civilized people who do not sound like they are being murdered in a kitchen at twenty past seven in the morning.”

Leah allowed herself to be guided onto a chair, still hiccupping sobs. Alfie stood behind her and began the ambitious project of braiding six-year-old hair that hadn’t been brushed since the previous evening. His thick hands were more accustomed to breaking fingers than braiding. The first attempt produced a lopsided plait, the second attempt incorporated a significant quantity of the hair that was supposed to stay out of the braid. By the third attempt, Leah was crying again, harder this time, because she could see her reflection in the window glass and the braid looked nothing like the neat, even ones her mother used to make.

“It’s ugly,” she gasped. “It’s all wrong. It looks like a snake that got stepped on.”

“It does not look like a snake,” Alfie muttered, trying to loosen a particularly stubborn knot without pulling. “It looks like… it does look like a snake that got stepped on. No-no-no, stop crying. Stop— Leah, if you keep crying—”

Ruth chose that moment to upend the entire remaining contents of her cup. The milk spread across the floorboards in a widening lake. She watched it with satisfaction before reaching for the jam pot.

Sarah’s voice cut through the noise. “This is stupid. Everything is stupid. We don’t need a nanny. Nannies are for babies and for people who can’t look after their own children. We can look after ourselves. I can look after Ruth and Leah. I already do half the time anyway.”

Alfie abandoned the braid mid-twist. He turned slowly, and fixed Sarah with the full weight of his attention. “You,” he said, very quietly, “are eight years old. You are not looking after a three-year-old. You are not looking after a six-year-old who is currently trying to drown the entire house in tears. And you are certainly not looking after me, because I am a grown man. We need help, that is why a girl is coming to be interviewed for the privilege of entering this asylum and attempting to impose some small measure of order upon it.”

Sarah’s chin jutted. “I don’t want a stranger in the house.”

“Neither do I, my darling. Neither do I. But the alternative is me continuing to produce eggs that taste like wet socks and braiding hair that looks like it was styled by a blind man. So we are going to try the stranger. And you,” he pointed his finger at her, “are going to be quiet, and polite, and not say a single word that might scare her off.”

Leah started crying again, quieter now but still steady, reaching back with one hand to touch the ruined braid. Ruth discovered that jam, when applied to milk, produces an interesting pink sludge. And Alfie looked at them like a man who hadn’t slept properly in weeks and was beginning to forget what sleep even felt like.

From the front door came the sound of someone knocking on the wood. Alfie glanced toward the door, then back at the wreckage of the kitchen, and muttered something under his breath that was not entirely suitable for children’s ears.

You raised your hand and knocked again, firmer this time, because the first one seemed to have been swallowed by the noise coming from deeper inside the house. Footsteps approached, as though the person attached to them was still deciding whether he wanted to open the door at all.

The door swung inward. The man on the other side was taller than you expected, broader across the shoulders, the sort of man who took up space without trying. He looked you up and down once, slow and thorough. “You must be the girl for the nanny position, aren’t you?” His voice was low. “Come to offer yourself up as sacrifice to the three small demons currently destroying my kitchen. How very brave of you.”

You met his gaze and kept your voice steady. “I’m here for the position, yes.”

“Course you are.” He offered his hand. “Alfie Solomons. Pleasure.” You took his hand, his grip was firm, and he held the shake a second longer than necessary before letting go.

You hadn’t recognized the face, but the name… that you knew. Alfie Solomons, gangster of Camden. The man who ran the bakery that wasn’t only a bakery. For a moment the thought of turning around and walking straight back out crossed your mind. Working for a gangster carried its own particular risks, and you weren’t entirely sure you wanted them. But looking at him now, he didn’t look like danger, and truthfully, you had few better options waiting for you outside that door. So you stayed.

He stepped back, gesturing with a hand. “Come in, then. Try not to slip on the milk. There is… rather a lot of it at the moment.”

You stepped over the threshold. The hallway smelled of beeswax and burnt egg. Somewhere behind a closed door, a child was still crying in short bursts. Alfie closed the front door with more force than necessary and immediately started walking, not waiting to see if you followed. He led you past the green-papered walls, past a tall clock, and into a room at the back of the house that served as his office. It was small, crowded with ledgers and a desk scarred by years of use.

Alfie dropped into the chair behind the desk with a theatrical sigh. He waved you toward the chair opposite with a flick of his hand. Without waiting, he yanked open a desk drawer, pulled out a bottle of rum and two glasses, poured himself a generous measure and held the bottle up in silent offer. When you shook your head, he only shrugged and took a long sip, watching you over the rim.

“So, love,” he said at last, setting the glass down with a clink. “Why don’t you start with your name?”

You gave it to him, Alfie repeated it slowly, testing the sound of it in his mouth. “Tell me why you want this job. And do try to be honest. I have a very low tolerance for the sort of bollocks people usually serve up when they want something from me.”

You sat carefully in the chair opposite him, keeping the satchel still in your lap, and answered without looking away. “I’m really good with children. I like being around them, and I’m good at cooking, at housework… It’s all I’ve ever done in my life, really.”

Alfie watched you through the rim of the glass, and tilted his head slightly, as though he was listening to more than the words. “All you’ve ever done… that’s either a very sad sentence or a very useful one, depending on how you look at it.” He leaned forward, placing his elbows on the desk. “You worked this sort of position before? Officially, I mean.”

“Not officially,” you said. “But I have a lot of siblings. I’ve raised them, fed them, dressed them, got them to school, kept them from killing each other. I’ve done it long enough that it feels natural. It just feels like… what needs doing.”

Something in his expression shifted into approval, or perhaps recognition. He nodded once. “Right. Well. Here’s the situation, then, so we are both operating under the same set of tragic facts.” He gestured with the glass. “You would be taking care of my three girls. Sarah, who is eight and currently of the opinion that the entire universe has wronged her personally. Leah, six, who cries when the wind changes direction. And Ruth, three and a force of nature. They lost their mother a couple of months ago. My wife, Edna, God rest her soul.” His voice roughened further. “Parted too soon. Way, way too soon. Left me with three little mirrors of her and absolutely no fucking idea what to do with any of them.”

The words settled in the room, making you feel the weight of them. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

Alfie studied you for a long moment, as though weighing the sincerity of the phrase. Then he gave a short, humourless huff of laughter. “Everyone’s sorry. Doesn’t change the fact that the house is a shitshow. Absolute, unmitigated shitshow. I can run a business, but what I cannot do, it turns out, is keep three girls fed, clothed, and relatively un-traumatized without assistance. They are devils when they want to be. Little monsters. Charming, clever, heartbreaking monsters, but monsters nonetheless.”

“I’m used to all kinds of children,” you told him. “Even the complicated ones. Especially the complicated ones.”

He leaned back, the chair creaking under his weight, and regarded you with something that might be cautious interest. “They’re good girls,” he said. “They just miss their mum. Every day, in every small, stupid way that a child can miss someone. The wrong ribbon, the wrong way of braiding hair, the eggs that don’t taste like hers. It’s constant. It’s… relentless.”

You nodded. “I understand, but I’ve always gotten along well with girls. I love playing with them, reading to them. I can help them with their homework and keep them busy during the day so the quiet moments don’t stretch quite so long. So they’re not sitting in the sadness all the time”

Alfie quirked his mouth, the first real hint of amusement you’d seen on him. “Oh, you’re good at this. You’re already buying me off. Selling me the dream of a peaceful household where no one is screaming ribbons and where the milk stays in the cup. Very clever.”

“I’m just being honest,” you said.

He watched you for another few seconds, then suddenly sat forward again. “When could you start?”

“Today.”

The single word hung between you. Alfie blinked once, then let out a disbelieving laugh that turned into a cough. “Today. Fuck. You don’t mess about, do you?” He rubbed a hand over his beard. “Two pounds a week. You get your own room with your own bathroom. All meals are covered. Does that sound acceptable to you?”

“It sounds perfect,” you said, and you meant it. What Alfie was offering went well beyond what you’d dared hope for. A more than decent wage, and one you wouldn’t have to bleed away on rent or food because both were already covered. Room, board, and pay, all of it sorted. For someone in your position, it was more than a job, it was a new start.

“Good.” He stood, the movement was sudden and decisive. “Come on, then. I’ll show you the cell. Metaphorically speaking… mostly.”

You followed him back into the hallway and up a narrow staircase that turned twice before depositing you on the first-floor landing. Alfie led you to the last door on the left and pushed it open without ceremony. The room was larger than you expected. There was a single bed with a brass frame, already made up with plain white sheets and a dark quilt. A wardrobe of dark wood, and a small writing desk beneath the window. The window looked down onto the narrow yard, and on the opposite wall there was a door that Alfie opened to reveal a tiny, clean bathroom with a claw-foot tub, a toilet and a washstand.

“This is yours,” he said, standing in the centre of the room with his hands in his pockets. “Door locks from the inside. I suggest you use it, the girls have a tendency to appear at strange hours if they decide they need something only you can provide, usually a story or a glass of water or the existential reassurance that the dark is not, in fact, full of monsters.”

He turned to face you fully, and for a moment the theatrical roughness fell away, leaving something more tired and more honest underneath. “What I expect,” he said, “is relatively simple. Keep them alive, that’s the primary objective. Bonus points if they remain alive and healthy. You feed them, you keep them clean, you help with the homework, you play with them. You take them to the park, on walks. You teach them manners so they don’t grow up sounding like they were raised by wolves. You… you try to make the days a little less sad for them. That is the job, the rest is details we will invent as we go, because I have no fucking idea what I’m doing and I suspect neither do you, not really, but we will pretend otherwise for the sake of the children.”

He paused, studying your face as though searching for any sign that you were about to turn and run. “Any of that sound unreasonable to you, love?”

From somewhere downstairs came the distant, muffled sound of Leah’s voice rising again, followed by Sarah’s reply and the unmistakable crash of ceramic meeting the floor. Alfie closed his eyes for half a second, then opened them and offered you the ghost of a wry smile.

“Welcome to the asylum. Try not to lose your mind in the first week. I rather think we’re going to need you.”

“Can I meet the girls?” you asked, already steeling yourself for the little monsters Alfie had warned you about.

“Right,” he said. “Best get the introductions done before you regret all of this and run off. Come on, love. Time to meet the small tyrants.”

He led you out of the room and back toward the stairs. The landing was quiet for half a second before the sounds of the kitchen rose up to meet you again. Alfie took the steps slowly, trailing one hand along the banister, the other gesturing as he talked.

“Sarah,” he began, dropping his voice into a storytelling cadence, “has got more of me in her than is probably healthy for either of us. Clever little thing, and stubborn as a mule. She’ll read anything she can get her hands on, books, newspapers, the backs of jam jars if the print’s large enough.And chess. Fuck me, the chess. She’ll sit there for hours moving those little wooden things around like she’s planning a war. Beats me more often than I care to admit, which is a humiliation I try not to dwell on.”

He glanced back over his shoulder at you. “Then there’s Leah. Wild imagination on that one. Lives half her life in some kingdom of fairies and dragons and words she’s made up that don’t exist in any language I’ve ever heard of. She draws constantly. Little pictures she leaves for me on the desk or under my plate or once, memorably, inside my hat. Dragons with too many legs, fairies with swords. Me, apparently, looking like a particularly disgruntled bear. She’s a little artist, that one. Soft heart, she feels everything twice as hard as she should.”

The stairs creaked under him as he continued downward. “And Ruth. Three years old and already a force of nature. Loves animals, dirt, the outdoors, anything that involves getting mud under her fingernails and grass stains on every stitch of clothing she owns. Nature girl through and through. If you turn your back for five minutes, she’ll have befriended a stray dog. She doesn’t talk much yet, but when she does it’s usually to issue orders or ask questions that have no reasonable answer.”

He reached the bottom of the stairs and paused with his hand on the newel post, looking toward the closed kitchen door. “They’re good girls. Broken in places, same as the rest of us. But good.”

He pushed the kitchen door open. The room was still a disaster, the milk had dried in sticky white maps across the floorboards, and the burnt eggs sat abandoned in the pan. Leah’s half-finished braid had unravelled further, Ruth was standing on her chair now, with jam up to her elbows, and Sarah remained by the window, refusing to look at either of you as you entered.

“Girls. Attention, if you please. This is—” He glanced at you, saying your name. “And she is the young lady who will be looking after you from now on. She starts today, and you will treat her with respect, you will listen when she speaks, and you will not, under any circumstances, attempt to drive her from the house with tears or tantrums. Is that understood?”

Three pairs of eyes turned toward you as you stepped forward slightly, keeping your voice calm and clear. “Hello. It’s very nice to meet you all.” You offered them a small, polite smile, nothing too bright, nothing that might feel like an invasion. “I’m here to help look after you. I hope we can get along.”

Sarah didn’t answer, she didn’t even look at you properly. Her gaze slid past your shoulder as though you were a piece of furniture that had inconveniently appeared in the middle of the room. Leah’s eyes flicked immediately to her older sister, seeking instruction. Sarah gave the smallest shake of her head, and Leah closed her mouth, looking down at her hands instead, twisting her fingers in the hem of her dress.

Ruth, however, had no such reservations. She studied you with the intensity of a three-year-old who had decided a question must be asked. “Are you gonna be our new mum?”

The kitchen fell silent, even the clock in the hallway seemed to hesitate.

Sarah snapped her head up. The colour drained from her face and then flooded back in a hot rush. Her voice, when it came, was high and cracking. “No. She’s not. She’s not going to be our new mum. She’ll never be our mum! Never!”

Before anyone could speak, she was moving, shoving past the table, past Leah, past Alfie’s attempt to reach for her arm. Her footsteps pounded up the stairs, hard and fast, and a door slammed overhead with enough force to rattle the frames on the walls.

The silence that followed was thicker than the first. Alfie exhaled slowly through his nose. He pinched the bridge of it between thumb and forefinger, closing his eyes for a beat, then opened them to look first at Leah. who had started to cry again, quietly this time, and then at Ruth, who was still watching you with wide and uncertain eyes.

“She is not your mother,” he said. “No one is asking her to be. But she is going to do the things a mother does because I cannot do them all on my own and you three need more than I am currently managing to give. So you will behave, you will do as she says, and you will obey her the same way you would obey me. Am I clear?”

Leah nodded through her tears. Ruth, after a moment, nodded too, though she still looked puzzled.

You stepped a little closer, careful not to crowd them, and spoke into the fragile quiet. “I’m not here to replace anyone,” you said gently. “I couldn’t. I wouldn’t try. I’m only here to help. To make the days a bit easier. To play and make sure you’re looked after. That’s all. Your mum is still your mum. Nothing about that changes because I’m in the house.”

Alfie watched you as you spoke, a shadow of grief moving behind his eyes. Then he glanced toward the ceiling, toward the closed door above, and muttered under his breath. “Christ. First day and we’re already at the dramatic exits. Promising start.”

He looked back at Leah and Ruth. “All right. Enough excitement for one morning. Leah, wipe your face. Ruth, for the love of all that is holy, stop putting jam in your hair. I’m going to go upstairs and have a word with your sister before she decides to barricade the door. You two, be kind to the lady. She’s only just walked through the door and we’ve already traumatized her. Try not to finish the job while I’m gone.”

He squeezed past you toward the hallway, pausing just long enough to murmur, low enough that only you could hear it. “Good luck, love. You’re going to need it.”

The morning eventually passed by. You helped get the girls ready for school under Alfie’s watchful and slightly panicked supervision. He stood in the hallway in his coat and hat, already half-turned toward the door. “Right,” he looked between the three of them and then at you. “School. All of you. No detours, no arguments. And you—” his eyes found yours, “—the house is yours until they come back. Try not to let it burn down, I’ve grown rather attached to the roof.”

He tipped his hat in a gesture that was half courtesy and half resignation, then he was gone, closing the front door behind him with a final sound. You stood in the hallway for a long moment, listening to the tick of the clock.

You decided to learn the house properly. The girls’ rooms were upstairs, two doors side by side along the landing. Sarah and Leah shared the larger one, and Ruth had the smaller room next to it. You push Sarah and Leah’s door open carefully and step inside.

Two narrow beds stood against opposite walls, both neatly made in the hurried way of children who have been told to tidy but had more important things on their minds. Sarah’s side was ordered with almost military precision, her books stacked by size on the small shelf above the bed, and a chess set on the low table. There were library books with worn spines, adventure stories, a volume of history, something about astronomy. A single photograph sat on the windowsill in a plain brown frame, three little girls and a woman with dark hair and a kind smile.

Leah’s side has drawings covering nearly every available surface, taped to the wall, propped against the lamp, slipped between the pages of a sketchbook left open on the bed. One drawing shows five figures holding hands: three small, two taller, all of them under a bright yellow sun.

Ruth’s room was smaller, a collection of smooth stones sat in a careful pile on the windowsill. A wooden animal, some approximation of a horse, lay on its side on the rug. There were grass stains on the edge of the bedspread and a single mitten that didn’t have a match.

You closed the doors gently behind you and went downstairs. The kitchen still bore the chaos of the morning, but you set to work clearing what was left of the wreckage before you bgan. Once the worst of the milk and jam had been dealt with, you found the flour, the butter, the sugar. The recipe was one you know by heart, simple butter cookies. You creamed the butter until it was pale, added the sugar in stages, and cracked the eggs one-handed. While they baked, the house filled with the buttery scent of them.

The afternoon had begun to thin toward evening when the front door opened again, and the sound of small feet and overlapping voices spilled into the hallway. You dried your hands on a tea towel and went to meet them. “Welcome home, girls,” you offered them a small smile. “How was class?”

Sarah looked at you, the expression in her eyes was not merely unfriendly, it was cold, the kind of look that had been practised and refined. She didn’t answer, instead she reached for Leah’s hand, closing her fingers firmly around her sister’s wrist, and turned toward the stairs without a word. Leah glanced back once, uncertain, but allowed herself to be pulled along. Ruth trailed after them, her satchel bumping against her legs and her gaze lingering on you for a second longer than the others before she too disappeared up the staircase.

You stood in the hallway listening to their footsteps fade, then to the soft click of a bedroom door closing upstairs. The cookies had cooled enough to move, so you arranged them on a plate and poured three glasses of milk. Then you climbed the stairs yourself, holding the plate steady in your hands.

Their door was closed. You knocked once and waited. “It’s me,” you said when no one answered. “I brought something for you.”

The only answer was silence. So you opened the door on your own without waiting for permission. Sarah was sitting on her bed with a book open in her lap, though she was not reading it. Leah sat cross-legged on the rug with a half-finished drawing in front of her. Ruth was on the floor near the window, already eyeing the plate with undisguised interest. You set the cookies and the milk down on the table between the beds.

“I made these this afternoon,” you said. “I thought you might like something sweet after school.”

Leah lifted her hand almost automatically toward the plate, but Sarah closed her fingers around her wrist before she could reach it. “We don’t want your cookies.” She exclaimed. Sarah’s voice was quiet but sharp. She looked at you fully now. “My daddy insisted on hiring you. That doesn’t mean we want you here. None of us do. You’re just… here because he decided. Not because we asked.”

You stayed where you were, not stepping closer, not retreating. “Sarah,” you began, keeping your voice in a friendly tone “I know you miss your mum. I’m not here to—”

“No.” The word cracked out of her like a whip. “Don’t you dare. Don’t you talk about her. You don’t get to say her name or talk about her or pretend you know anything. You don’t. You’re not allowed.”

The silence that followed was thick. Leah had gone very still. Ruth was watching the exchange with wide eyes, already creeping one hand toward the edge of the plate when no one was looking.

You drew a slow breath of resignation, there was no point in fighting with a really stubborn eight-year-old girl. “All right,” you said. “I won’t. But I need this job, I’m not going anywhere. So maybe we could try, just try, to get along. I can help with homework if you want.”

Sarah’s mouth twisted. “We don’t need help. I can look after my sisters just fine. I’ve been doing it, I don’t need some stranger coming in and acting like we can’t manage.”

You nodded once, accepting the boundary for now. There was nothing to gain by pushing further today. You glanced at the plate one last time as you turned to leave, and caught Ruth in the act.

She had a cookie in each hand and another already half-crammed into her mouth, her cheeks were full, and her eyes bright with simple pleasure. Little crumbs clung to the corner of her lips. When she realized you had seen her, she didn’t look guilty, she only smiled around the mouthful.

You left the door open a fraction as you stepped back into the hallway. Behind you, Sarah’s voice rose. “Ruth! Stop eating those. Right now, spit it out.”

Ruth, from the sound of it, did no such thing.

Three hours later, you closed the bedroom door behind you with a click and leaned against it for a moment, shutting your eyes.

The house had gone quiet, full of sleeping children, it was as though even the floorboards and pipes were trying not to wake anyone. You pushed away from the door and began the familiar ritual of getting ready for bed.

Your nightgown was plain white cotton, you stepped out of your day clothes and folded them neatly over the back of the chair, then drew the nightgown over your head. You sat on the edge of the bed and unpinned your hair, letting it fall loose.

The day sat heavy in your chest, you thought of Sarah’s voice when she told you not to speak of her mother, the way Leah’s hand had hovered toward the cookies and then been pulled back, and Ruth’s small smile around a mouthful of crumbs. You had come here hoping to be useful, to earn your place, to make the days a little softer for three girls who had already lost too much. Instead you felt as though you had only made everything worse for them. The rejection wasn’t surprising, you had expected resistance, but it still stung. You were not wanted here, and the knowledge left you feeling hollow and strangely unmotivated, as though the long hours of cooking and cleaning and trying had already been spent for nothing.

It was soft, almost hesitant, two short raps against the wood. You stood, smoothed the nightgown down over your hips out of habit, and opened the door. Alfie stood in the dim light, he’d removed his waistcoat and rolled his shirtsleeves higher. The top button of his collar was undone and his hair more disordered than it was this morning.

“Sorry to be knocking on your door at this hour,” he said in a low voice, as if not to wake up the girls sleeping on the other side of the house. “I just… wanted to check on you. See how the first day sat with you.”

“It’s fine,” you answered. “Don’t worry. I wasn’t asleep.”

His gaze, which had been steady on your face, drifted for a fraction of a second, down the length of the plain white nightgown, the way the fabric fell, your bare feet on the floorboards, before he realized what he was doing. He cleared his throat and looked away from your body, toward the wall, the doorframe, anywhere else. A faint colour rose along the edge of his cheekbones.

“Right. Yes. Well.” He shifted his weight. “How was it, then? The day. The girls.”

You considered lying, it would be easier. But he looked like a man who could smell a lie from miles away, so instead you told him the truth, or most of it. “It was… fine. In the sense that no one was injured and the house is still standing.” You offered a small, tired smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes. “I think the girls don’t accept me yet, Sarah especially. She made it very clear that my being here is not something any of them asked for. But I promise you I’ll work twice as hard. I’ll find a way to make them like me, or at least tolerate me. I won’t give up.”

Alfie studied you for a long moment, the light caught tthe lines that grief had carved a little deeper around his mouth. “As long as you keep them healthy,” he said eventually, “that is more than I can reasonably ask of anyone. The rest…” He exhaled. “I know it’s going to be hard. Losing their mum when they were so young… they don’t have the words for half of what they’re feeling, so it comes out sideways, in anger and silence. It isn’t personal, it’s just… the shape of the hole she left.”

The quiet that followed was different from the earlier silence of the house, you didn’t think about it, you simply reached out and let your fingers rest lightly against the back of his hand where it hung at his side. His skin was warm, and there were faint scars across the knuckles, old ones.

“I’m sure losing a wife must be hard too,” you whispered. “But you’ve managed to look after them through all of it. That is… admirable. Most men wouldn’t have managed half as well.”

Alfie looked down at your hand on his, for a second he didn’t move. Then he drew his own hand back, carefully, as though the contact itself had startled him. He tucked both hands into his pockets. “It isn’t admirable,” the roughness in his voice had softened into something more honest. “It’s just what had to be done. You don’t get to sit down and have a quiet collapse when there are three little faces looking at you every morning asking where their breakfast is and why mummy isn’t coming downstairs. You get up, you burn the eggs, you make a mess of the braids. You hire a stranger because you have finally admitted you cannot do it alone. There is nothing noble in any of that.”

He fell silent again, then seemed to collect himself. “I should let you rest. You’re going to need whatever sleep you can get for tomorrow. And don’t… don’t stress yourself into knots over the girls, they’ll get used to you. Children are resilient little creatures, even when they pretend otherwise. Give it time.”

You nodded. “Good night, Mr Solomons.”

He tipped his head in something that was almost a bow. “Good night.”

He turned and walked away down the landing, you watched until he reached the turn in the stairs and disappeared from view. Only then did you close the door again, quietly, and lean your forehead against the cool wood. The sadness was still there, the sense that the day had been a failure. But it was different now, less sharp, somehow, for having been spoken aloud and met with something other than indifference. You crossed to the bed, turned down the covers, and slipped between the sheets, closing your eyes and waiting for sleep to come.

You were deep in sleep when the knocking began. It was soft at first, hesitant little taps against the wood, then a little more insistent. You surfaced slowly, for a moment you lay still, listening, wondering if you’d imagined it. The house was otherwise silent, then the knocking came again, quieter this time, almost apologetic. You pushed the covers back and crossed to the door in your nightgown. When you opened it, Ruth was standing there in her own little nightgown, barefoot, her hair tangled from sleep. Her eyes were wide and shining with unshed tears.

You knelt so that you were closer to her height. “Ruth? What are you doing out of bed, sweetheart? It’s the middle of the night.”

She sniffled, rubbing at one eye with the back of her wrist. “Can’t sleep.”

“What happened?” you asked gently. “Did something wake you?”

Her lower lip trembled. “Had a bad dream. There was… there was… big dark thing, and, and, and mummy wasn’t there, and I called and called and nobody came.” The words tumbled out in a rush, small and frightened.

Your chest tightened. “I’m so sorry, my love. That sounds very scary. Nightmares can feel so real, even when they’re not.” You reached out and smoothed a strand of hair away from her damp cheek. “You’re safe now, the dark thing isn’t here. I’m here.”

Ruth looked at you for a long moment, then asked in a small voice, “Can you sing me a song? Like… like mum did.”

“Of course I can,” you said without hesitation. “Of course.”

You gathered her up carefully, she was solid and warm in your arms, still smelling faintly of the soap from her evening bath, and she curled against your shoulder at once, pressing her face into the side of your neck. You carried her the short distance to her own room, the door of which stood slightly ajar. Inside, the little bed was a tangle of kicked-off blankets, you lay her down gently, straightened the sheets, and pulled the covers up to her chin. Then you sat on the edge of the mattress, resting one hand lightly on the blanket near her shoulder.

“I’m going to stay right here until you fall asleep,” you told her. “I’ll make sure nothing bad comes. You’re safe, I promise.”

Ruth nodded, her blue eyes already heavy. You began to sing softly, almost under your breath at first. An old lullaby you’d known for years, the kind that was sung in your house when your younger siblings needed quieting. Your voice wasn’t especially fine, but it was steady, and in the quiet of the room it seemed enough. Ruth’s breathing began to slow. Her fingers, which had been twisted in the edge of the blanket, loosened now. Her eyes drifted shut, opened again briefly, then closed once more.

Just before sleep took her completely, when her voice was soft and faraway, she murmured against the pillow. “Thank you, mommy.”

You felt the words in your throat, in your chest. You didn’t correct her, only kept singing, quieter now, until her breathing was deep and even and there was no doubt she was truly asleep. Then you stayed a little longer, just to be certain, your hand still resting on the blanket.

The days that followed didn’t bring the progress you had hoped for. Sarah’s anger didn’t soften, it turned into something colder and deliberate. She refused to speak to you unless forced by circumstance, and even then her answers were clipped. When you greeted her in the morning, she looked through you. When you set a plate in front of her, she ate in silence, fixing her eyes on the table. Leah hovered in her sister’s shadow like a smaller echo. There were moments, brief and fragile ones, when Leah’s gaze lingered on you with something that might be curiosity or even longing, but Sarah was always watching. A sharp look, a small shake of the head, a hand closing around Leah’s wrist, and the moment dissolved, Leah looked away, and the wall remained there.

You tried everything you could think of. You sat at the kitchen table in the afternoons with the homework spread out and offered help with sums, with spelling, with the endless pages of reading Sarah was assigned. She told you, flatly, that she didn’t need help, she’d always managed on her own. Leah glanced at the open book in front of her like she wanted to ask you for help, but ultimately never does. You took them on walks through the streets near the house, pointing out birds and the changing leaves, but Sarah walked ahead with her arms folded. Leah stayed close to her side, only Ruth held your hand without being asked.

You cooked meals that filled the house with good smells, even if Alfie insisted cooking was not part of your job. Sarah ate what was put in front of her and said nothing, even the cookies you baked went mostly untouched except by Ruth, who accepted them with delight and no hesitation.

Nothing seemed to reach the older two, the only real attachment that formed was with Ruth. She had decided, with the absolute certainty of a three-year-old, that you belonged to her in some essential way. She followed you from room to room, appearing in the kitchen doorway while you were cooking and simply standing there until you noticed her. She brought you small treasures from the garden, a particularly smooth stone, a feather, a leaf that had turned bright red. Most days, when the older girls were occupied with homework or elsewhere, you ended up in the little yard behind the house with her.

The yard wasn’t large, but it was big enough for the two of you. There was a patch of grass that stayed stubbornly green, a low wall she liked to balance along, a corner where the soil was soft enough for digging. You sat on the step and watched her run, or you joined her, kneeling in the grass while she showed you the little paths ants made through the grass. She chattered about the birds, about the clouds, and when she grew tired and climbed into your lap without asking, resting her head against your shoulder, creeping her thumb toward her mouth until she remembered she was supposed to have given that up.

You were on your knees in the grass beside Ruth, both of you bent over the same patch of turned earth where the soil was soft and dark. She had declared this the best place for finding “the interesting ones,” and she was taking the search very seriously.

“Look,” she whispered, pointing with a dirt-smudged finger. A small beetle with a green shell edged its way over a clump of roots. “He’s got a shiny coat.”

You leaned closer, matching her quiet tone. “He does. Do you think he’s on his way somewhere important?”

Ruth considered it like a philosophic question. “Maybe to see his friends, or to find food. Bugs need food too.” She carefully moved a leaf so the beetle could continue unimpeded, then sat back on her heels, already scanning for the next discovery. A moment later she gasped and pointed again. “Worm! A big one!”

You were still smiling at her excitement when the sound reached you, a high, miserable crying that didn’t belong to any child. It came from the far side of the short wall that separated the yard from the narrow alley beyond.

Ruth snapped her head up. Before you could speak, she was on her feet and running. “Ruthie—wait—”

She was already at the wall, scrambling up onto the stones with determination. You followed quickly, your heart beating faster. On the other side of the wall, half-hidden in the shadow of a discarded crate, was a puppy. It was larger than you expected for something so young, big-boned and with the wrinkled face and loose skin of a bullmastiff. Its coat was a dusty fawn, matted in places with dirt and what looked like old leaves. It was trembling, and every few seconds it let out that same heartbroken cry.

“Ruth, wait! Don’t touch it yet. We don’t know if it’s hurt, or if it might snap, or—”

But Ruth was already on her knees in the alley, reaching for the puppy with both small hands. The puppy flinched at first, then leaned into her touch as though it had been waiting for exactly this. She stroked the wrinkled head with infinite care. “It’s soft,” she breathed. “and alone. Can we keep it? Please? It’s lost, it doesn’t have a mummy. ”

You crouched beside her, hovering one hand near her shoulder in case the animal startled. The puppy’s eyes were dark and wet. It looked exhausted. “I don’t know, Ruthie. We can’t just decide that on our own. Your father is the one in charge of this house, we have to ask him.”

Ruth turned to you, her face already crumpling with the force of trying not to cry. “But I want to keep it. Please. Please please please. It’ll be good. I’ll take care of it. It can sleep in my room. I’ll share my food. Please don’t leave it out here.”

The puppy chose that moment to press its head more firmly into her hands, as if seconding the plea. You looked at the two of them, the small girl and the dirty, trembling puppy, and felt the argument you meant to make begin to dissolve.

“I’ll talk to your father,” you said at last. “I’ll try to convince him. But we can’t just bring a strange dog into the house like this. We should leave it here for now and—”

“No.” Ruth’s voice was sharp with panic. She wrapped both arms around the puppy’s neck as though someone might snatch it away that very second. “We can’t leave it. It’ll be scared and cry more. What if someone bad finds it?”

You exhaled slowly, she looked up at you with the kind of absolute faith that was almost impossible to refuse, her wide eyes full of hope. Surely you could try to convince Alfie, make a proper case for keeping the dog. And if, in the end, he decided the answer was no… well, then he would be the one who had to look his youngest daughter in the face and explain why the puppy had to go.

“Well…” You glanced from the filthy coat to the pleading face of the child. “I suppose if we give it a proper bath first, get the dirt and whatever else is on it cleaned off… your father might be more willing to consider it. A clean dog is a more persuasive dog.”

Ruth’s whole face lit up, the tears that had been threatening to vanish as though they never existed. She scrambled to her feet, still keeping one hand on the puppy’s back.

“Yes! Come on. Come on, puppy.”

Getting the animal over the wall and into the house was an inelegant affair involving much coaxing, one near-fall, and a great deal of dirt transferred onto both of your clothes. The puppy was heavier than it looked. Once inside, you led the way upstairs to the bathroom, Ruth trotting ahead to “show him the way,” as though the dog might otherwise get lost in the hallway.

You filled the bathtub with warm water while Ruth kept the puppy company on the mat, murmuring soft encouragements. “My nanny’s gonna take care of you. She’s the best.” When the water was ready, you lifted the animal in. It panicked at first, scrabbling against the porcelain, sending a wave of water over the side and onto the floor. Ruth laughed, delighted, and began scooping water over its back with a small cup. You worked the soap through the matted fur as best you could, talking quietly the whole time so neither child nor dog startled.

You were both thoroughly soaked, and the bathroom floor was a shallow lake, when the door opened. Sarah stood in the doorway with Leah just behind her. Her eyes moved from the soaked floor to the large wet dog in the tub to your wet hair and then to Ruth, who was beaming.

“Where,” Sarah asked, “did this dog come from?”

Ruth answered before you could. “We found him! Outside. He was crying, he’s lost, and he’s going to live with us now.”

Leah’s face softened at once. “He’s so cute,” she said, already taking a step forward. “Look at his face, he’s all wrinkly—”

Sarah’s closed her hand around her sister’s arm and pulled her back. “Don’t. We don’t know if that thing has anything contagious.”

You kept one steadying hand on the puppy’s shoulder as it shifted in the water. “We’re going to ask your father if we can keep him. After he’s clean.”

Sarah grimaced, the look she gave you was of pure scorn. “My dad is going to kill you when he finds out you let that great furball full of fleas and dirt into the house. You should consider yourself fired already. He’s going to throw both of you out, you and the dog.”

Ruth stilled her hands on the puppy’s back. She looked between Sarah and you, the uncertainty flickering across her face for the first time. You met Sarah’s gaze and kept your voice even. “We’ll see what your father decides. Until then, the dog is getting a bath. You’re welcome to help if you want, we could use some extra hands.”

Sarah didn’t move for a long moment. Then she tightened her grip on Leah’s arm and turned away, pulling her sister with her. The door remained open, you heard their footsteps retreat down the landing.

Ruth looked up at you with soap bubbles clinging to one cheek. “She’s wrong,” she said firmly. “Daddy will let us keep him. You’ll ask nice and he’ll say yes.”

You didn’t answer, only reached for the towel and began the long, dripping process of getting a very large, very wet bullmastiff puppy out of the bathtub and onto the mat. Ruth helped as best she could, rubbing at the broad back with a second towel. The puppy, exhausted by the ordeal, finally stopped struggling and simply stood there dripping, looking up at the two of you with hopeful eyes.

An hour later, you were waiting in the hallway when the front door opened. Alfie stepped inside, bringing with him the faint smell of rum and the docks. The moment he saw you standing there, almost directly behind the door, he lifted one corner of his mouth.

“Well now,” he said with amusement. “Someone was impatient for me to get home. Did you miss me, love? Or has the house finally caught fire and you’ve come to deliver the bad news in person?”

You wiped your hands once against your skirt, though they were already clean. Your heart was beating too quickly. “Mr Solomons… something happened today, and—”

He stilled, the faint humour drained from his expression at once. His eyes moved past you, scanning the hallway as though expecting smoke or blood or the sound of crying. “Are the girls alive?”

“Yes,” you said quickly. “Yes, they’re fine. It’s not that. It’s— Ruth and I were playing in the yard this afternoon. Looking for bugs, the usual. And she heard something crying. We found a puppy, a little bullmastiff, I think. He was abandoned, and she wanted to keep it. I told her we would have to ask you first, that it wasn’t our decision to make, but she was so insistent, and she wouldn’t leave it out there, and—”

Alfie was already moving. He shrugged out of his coat as he walked, hanging it on the stand without looking, and continued toward the living room. You followed, the words still tumbling out of you in a nervous rush.

“We gave it a bath. I thought if it was clean you might… I don’t know. Be more willing to consider it. I know I should have waited. I know I overstepped.”

He stepped into the living room and stopped. Ruth was on the rug in the centre of the floor, the newly washed puppy sprawled half in her lap, half across the carpet. Its fur was still slightly damp and sticking up in odd directions, but Ruth was giggling as the dog tried to lick her cheek, her small hands were buried in the loose skin of its neck. She looked up at the sound of her father’s footsteps and her whole face brightened even further.

“Daddy! Daddy! Look at what we found!”

Alfie stood very still for a long moment, taking in the scene, the large, wrinkled puppy, the wet patches on the rug, the absolute delight on his youngest daughter’s face. “So,” he said slowly, “you found a stray dog in my backyard and decided the most reasonable course of action was to bring it inside my house.”

You felt the blood drain from your face. “I… I just—” Your voice got caught somewhere down your throat. The fear that had been sitting under your ribs all afternoon rose suddenly. You could already see yourself packing your small satchel, walking back out into the street with nowhere to go. “I only wanted to make Ruth happy. She was so worried about leaving it. I thought if we cleaned it up first, if I spoke to you properly… I’m sorry. I know it was foolish, I know I might have… ruined things.”

From the doorway of the living room, Sarah’s voice cut in, full of satisfaction. “I told you.”

Alfie didn’t look at her. His attention was still fixed on Ruth and the dog. Ruth had both arms around the puppy’s neck now and was resting her cheek against the top of its broad head, her eyes closed in pure contentment. The dog, for its part, seemed to have decided that this small human was the best thing that had ever happened to it. Something in Alfie’s expression shifted, the hard line of his mouth softened as he watched his daughter for several long seconds

“You did all of that,” he said quietly, almost to himself, “just to put a smile on my girl’s face.” He glanced at you then, and there was no anger in the look. “Look at her. I haven’t seen her smile like that in a long time. Not the way she used to.”

The tight band around your chest loosened so suddenly you felt almost light-headed. You could breathe again.

Ruth opened her eyes and looked up at her father, still half-buried in the dog’s neck. “Can we keep him, daddy? Please? He’s a good dog. Please, please, please.”

Alfie exhaled through his nose, a long, considering sound. He walked further into the room and lowered himself onto his haunches a few feet from the pair on the rug, studying the puppy with a critical eye.

“Well,” he said, “you know what they say. A dog is a man’s best friend. He’ll be useful. Guard the house, keep the mice away. What’s a household without a four-legged resident, really? We’ve been operating at a deficit.”

Sarah’s voice rose in disbelief. “What? Are you seriously letting that ball of fleas stay inside the house? It was living in the alley. It probably has worms and fleas. And whatever else dirty street dogs carry. Are you going to let it sleep here? With us?”

Alfie turned his head just enough to look at her, lifting one eyebrow. “Come on, love. You’re going to get attached to the creature, look at that face all wrinkled and tragic. He’s working very hard at being impossible to refuse. Give it a week and you’ll be sneaking him bits of your supper when you think no one is watching.”

Sarah opened her mouth to argue further, but Leah had already slipped free of her sister’s side. She approached the puppy slowly, as though it might vanish if she moved too quickly, and sank to her knees on the other side of Ruth. The dog immediately turned its attention to her. Leah’s face softened into a smile she didn’t try to hide.

Alfie watched the three of them for a moment longer, Ruth radiant, Leah already gently stroking one oversized paw. “Right. If he’s staying, he needs a name. Can’t have a dog answering to ‘oi, you.’ Suggestions, ladies?”

Ruth answered without hesitation, still cheek-to-cheek with the puppy. “Cyril.”

Alfie blinked as a genuine smile spread across his face. “Cyril,” he repeated, testing the word. “Whatever my little princess says. Cyril it is.” He reached out and gave the dog’s head a single, firm pat. “Welcome to the family, Cyril. Try not to eat the furniture. Or the children. In that order.”

He rose to his feet with a soft grunt and turned. As he passed you on his way toward the hallway, he paused just long enough to rest a hand on your lower back and gave it a brief, warm squeeze. His voice dropped so that only you could hear it. “Good job, love.”

Then he continued, already shrugging out of his waistcoat, the matter apparently settled. The compliment settled under your skin, you felt the warmth rise in your cheeks almost at once. Alfie had already moved past you toward the stairs, but his voice and the solid press of his hand on your lower back lingered longer than it should.

You followed the girls into the dining room for supper with your heart beating a little faster, the knowledge of it making you self-conscious. Dinner was quieter than usual, the new presence of Cyril under the table, already claiming the space near Ruth’s feet as his own, providing a welcomed distraction. When the last plates were cleared, and the girls began the drift toward bedtime, Alfie set down his napkin and looked across at you.

“I’ll put them down tonight,” he said. “You’ve done enough for one day, g and sit. I’ll handle the bedtime.”

You nodded, still feeling the residual warmth in your face, and watched him shepherd the three of them upstairs.

Alfie went first to the room Sarah and Leah share. He sat on the edge of Sarah’s bed, the way he had done most nights since their mother died, and looked between the two of them for a long moment before speaking.

“Been a few weeks now with the new arrangement,” he said. “I want to know how it’s sitting with you. Honest answers, girls. How do you feel about the nanny?”

Leah was the first to answer, her little fingers worrying the edge of her blanket. “She’s… okay,” she said carefully. “She tries to help with the homework even when Sarah says we don’t need it. And she bakes cookies. She doesn’t get cross when I ask the same question twice.”

Sarah tightened her jaw. She stared at a point on the opposite wall rather than at her father. “She’s trying to be Mum,” she said flatly. “That’s what she’s doing, replacing her. She already walks around like she owns the place, deciding what we eat, when we go out, if the dog is staying or not. It’s not her house, we’re not her children. She’s just… here. And she acts like she belongs with us.”

Alfie was silent for a stretch, turning her words over. When he spoke again, his tone was quieter, almost thoughtful. “I think she’s only trying to be good to you. That’s all. She hasn’t claimed the title of mother, has she? Hasn’t asked you to call her anything of the sort. She’s kept the three of you fed and washed and relatively un-murdered for several weeks running, which is more than I managed on my own. So for the time being I am not firing her. Alive children are a higher priority than perfect emotional alignment. You may not like her, you’re not required to. But you will continue to treat her with basic civility. Clear?”

Sarah didn’t answer, only stared at the floor, while Leah gave a small, sleepy nod. Alfie leaned in and pressed a careful kiss to each of their foreheads in turn. “Good night, my little ladies,” he murmured. “Daddy loves you.” He smiled, the expression softening the hard lines of his face. “And no wetting the bed, yeah?” The joke landed exactly as he’d known it would. Both girls immediately protested, her voices overlapping in indignation as they insisted they were big girls already.

Ruth’s room was warmer. Alfie sat on the edge of the small bed and brushed a strand of hair from Ruth’s forehead.

“I’m gonna ask ou the same question I asked your sisters, my little beast,” he said. “How are you finding our new household addition? The human one, not the four-legged variety.”

Ruth’s answer was immediate and absolute. “I love her. She’s the best. She sings when the dark is scary and she plays in the dirt with me and she didn’t leave the puppy outside. I love her. I love her. I love her.”

Alfie stilled his hand in her hair for a moment, then resumed the slow, absent stroking. Ruth dropped her voice, sleepy and content. “Thank you for getting me another mummy.”

The words hung in the quiet room. Alfie continued smoothing her hair, his expression was unreadable in the low light. “She’s not your mummy, Ruth,” he said at last, gently but firmly. “No one is replacing the one you had. But… I think she cares for you the way one would. Properly.”

He leaned down, kissed her temple, and stayed there a second longer than usual. “Sleep well, my darling. I love you.”

Downstairs, the living room was quiet except for the tick of the clock and the soft sound of Cyril settling near the hearth. Alfie poured two measures of rum into glasses and held one out toward you without preamble.

You hesitated. “I shouldn’t. I’m still on the job, technically.”

He gave you a look of dry amusement. “As your employer, I am ordering you to accept the drink. Sit and drink. Consider it a mandatory end-of-shift debriefing. Refusal will be noted in your permanent record.”

A small laugh escaped you despite yourself. You took the glass. The rum was strong and warm going down your throat. Alfie dropped into the couch next to you, stretched his legs out, and regarded you over the rim of his own glass for a long moment before speaking.

“I need to congratulate you,” he said. “Properly. On the work you’ve done here in a matter of mere weeks. The house looks different already. There’s no more crying at all hours of the night, no more kitchen disasters. I can actually sleep more than six consecutive hours without one of them appearing at the side of the bed with a crisis. That is not a small thing, love. That is a minor miracle.”

You looked down at the glass in your hands. “I promised you I wouldn’t disappoint you.”

“You didn’t just manage not to disappoint me.” Alfie’s voice dropped into that slower, more deliberate register he used when he was being entirely serious. “Quite the opposite. You were an… unexpected good surprise. I hired a pair of hands to keep three small people from destroying themselves and the furniture. What I got was someone who actually gives a damn, that’s rarer than it ought to be.”

“I’m only doing my job,” you said quietly. “That’s what I’m here for.”

He shook his head once in a short, dismissive motion. “Ruth loves you. She just told me so, in those exact words. The girls are healthy, the house is still standing, and we have a dog. Thank you for all of it, sincerely.”

You methis eyes, the warmth from earlier had not entirely left your face. “Thank you for trusting me with them. I’m glad I can make your life a little easier.”

Alfie turned the glass slowly in his hand, watching the liquid catch the light. “My life has improved significantly ever since your arrival,” he said, and there was no performance in the statement. “More than I expected, more than I probably deserve.”

The quiet that followed was soft rather than awkward. You took another small sip of the rum and answered truthfully. “Mine has too.”

Alfie held your gaze for a second longer. “How so?”

You looked down at the liquid, turning the glass slowly between your fingers. The impulse to keep everything neatly contained rose at once. “I shouldn’t,” you said. “It isn’t your concern. You’re my employer, not… I shouldn’t sit here venting my private troubles at you after you’ve already given me a roof and a wage.”

He made a low, dismissive sound in his throat and settled deeper into the couch. “Tell me anyway. I asked, I want to know. Consider it professional curiosity if that makes it easier for you to open your mouth. Talk.”

You hesitated a moment longer, then the words came, quieter than you intended. “There were too many mouths to feed at home and never enough money to feed them properly. Always another child, always another empty place at the table that somehow still needed filling. My parents decided the practical solution was to marry me off. There was a man, respectable enough. They thought it was a kindness, a way to get one less burden out of the house. But I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t stand in front of anyone and promise my life to a person I felt nothing for, so I refused. And the price of refusing was that I had to work, and not just helping around the house. A real job, they said. Earn my keep or leave. That was when I saw the notice for this position. Live-in, so I could get away from home and not be a bother for them anymore.”

You glanced up at him, then away again. “Since I’ve been here… I feel like I belong somewhere, for the first time in a long while. I have my own room, my own door that closes. My own bathroom, and no one climbing into my bed at three in the morning because theirs is too crowded. It’s small, ordinary things, but they feel enormous after what I came from. My life is better here. It feels like my life belongs to me now.”

Alfie was silent for a long stretch, turning his glass in slow circles on the arm of the couch. When he finally spoke, his voice had dropped into that thoughtful register he rarely used. “So you want to marry for love, then.”

“Yes,” you answered. “That’s the only reason anyone should marry, don’t you think? Anything else feels like a transaction”

He huffed a soft, humourless breath through his nose. “There are a great many reasons people marry, love. Money, safety, children, the need to stop the neighbours talking, fear of being left alone with their own thoughts. I’ve seen all of them. But love…” He paused, his blue eyes were distant. “Love is a different creature entirely. I remember when I married my Edna. We were two complete fools. I didn’t own half of what I own now, and it didn’t matter. We looked at each other, and that was the end of the argument, everything else was just noise we agreed to ignore.”

The quiet that followed was heavy with the ghost of her name. You spoke into it softly. “I wish I could find something like that one day.”

Alfie returned his gaze to you, sharper now. He studied your face with an intensity that made the air between you feel thinner. “You will,” he said. “Look at you. Those eyes, that face.” His voice dropped further. “That mouth.”

He leaned forward without seeming to decide to do it. The space between the two narrowed. You felt your breath catch and hold, suspended in that fragile moment. The thought formed clear and sudden: he was going to kiss you. And beneath the surprise, beneath the warning bells, was a sharp, unwelcome wanting. You wanted to close the last of the distance, you wanted to meet him halfway.

For a single stretched second it seemed inevitable. Then something flickered behind his eyes, recognition, or maybe alarm, the abrupt return of sense. He pulled back as though the air itself had burned him. He cleared his throat, looked away, and reached for the bottle even though his glass wasn’t empty.

“What I was trying to say,” he muttered, rougher than before, “is that you’re going to make some gentleman very happy one day. Properly happy.” He set the glass down with more force than necessary and stood. “Right. I’m going to bed before I start dispensing any more poorly thought-out wisdom. I’ll see you tomorrow, love.”

He didn’t look at you again as he left the room. You remained seated for a long while after the sound of his footsteps had faded up the stairs. The rum sat warm in your stomach, and your pulse had not yet settled.

When you finally rose and went to your own room, the quiet felt different, restless somehow. You undressed slowly, your body felt warm all over, a low heat that had nothing to do with the drink. Most of you, more than you wanted to admit, wished he had not pulled away. The almost-kiss still lingered in the air like something unfinished. It was exciting in a way that frightened you. Exciting and complicated and almost certainly unwise.

He was your employer. You needed this position, mixing the two would be reckless at best, disastrous at worst. And beyond the practical danger, there was the larger truth, Alfie was the most unavailable man you had ever met. His wife had been gone only a few months, the grief was still raw in him, visible in the unguarded moments when he thought no one was watching. Whatever flickered between you downstairs was momentary, accidental, born of the rum and the late-night honesty, the strange intimacy of the shared conversation.

You turned onto your side, pulled the blanket up, and closed your eyes, but sleep took a long time to come that night.

You woke before the rest of the house. The sky outside the window was still pale, as if the day had not quite decided to begin. You dressed quietly in the half-dark of your room, and went downstairs in your stockinged feet so the boards wouldn’t complain. The kitchen was cool, and you set to work without lighting the lamps.

Flour, yeast, salt, warm water from the kettle. The dough came together under your hands, you kneaded it thoroughly, pressing and folding with the heels of your palms. You covered it, let it rest, and then shaped the risen mass into loaves. The trays slid into the oven and soon enough the smell of bread began to fill the room.

You were bent over, with one hand braced on the warm oven door, the other reaching in with the folded cloth to test the loaves, when you heard the sound of footsteps behind you.

Alfie had appeared in the doorway without a sound. He stopped and for a moment he simply looked. You were still leaning into the oven, the line of your back was curved in a way that made the fabric of your skirt pull taut across your hips and the roundness of your backside. He imagined, unbidden, stepping closer, setting a hand on the small of your back, feeling the give of your flesh under his palm through the cotton.

The thought spiralled further before he could stop it, how the skirt would look pushed up over those hips, how the skin underneath might feel against his fingers, the soft sound you might make if he pressed forward, if he let his mouth find the side of your neck just beneath the pinned hair. He licked his lips without realizing he’d done it, the mental image was vivid enough that his pulse kicked against the collar of his shirt.

Then he forced the thoughts down with the same will he used on everything else that threatened to get away from him, cleared his throat, and spoke. “Good morning, love. Baking, are we?”

You straightened so quickly the cloth slipped from your fingers and fluttered to the floor. A wave of heat rushed to your face, not only from the oven but from his presence behind you. “Mr. Solomons. You startled me.”

He leaned a shoulder against the doorframe, trying to look casual, though his eyes were still a fraction too dark. “Sorry, love. Didn’t mean to. I was just… appreciating this beautiful morning. The light, the smell of bread… The views.” He flicked his gaze once more, almost helplessly, tracing the line of your waist, down to your hips. “Particularly fine views this morning.”

You managed a small, flustered smile and turned back toward the oven, needing something to do with your hands that wasn’t reaching for the dropped cloth while he watched you.

“I was making bread for toast. I thought it might be nice.”

“Yeah,” he said, lower than before. “Yeah, I noticed that. You looked rather focused. Don’t let me interrupt, you can continue exactly as you were. I’m only here… looking. Attentively… Appreciatively.”

You felt the flush deepen along your throat and the tops of your cheeks, but you kept working, pulling the golden loaves out with the cloth now retrieved, setting them on the rack to cool, slicing the first one while the steam rose in white curls. After a moment you glanced at him properly. His clothes were more formal than usual, a darker waistcoat, and a clean white shirt.

“Do you have an important meeting today?”

Alfie looked down at himself as though only now remembering what he was wearing. He smoothed a hand over the front of the waistcoat. “I do, as it happens. I am required to look like I belong among rich men.”

You stepped closer without quite deciding to. The misaligned buttons on his waistcoat had been bothering you since you noticed them, one was skipped, so the whole line was sitting wrong against the shirt. You reached up and began undoing them.

Alfie went very still. He looked down at your hands working the buttons open, one after another, and a crooked smile tugged at his mouth. “Careful now,” he murmured. “A man might get the wrong idea, having a woman undress him in his own kitchen before breakfast. Is that what this is, love? Have you decided to have me naked and done with it?”

You laughed, the sound coming a little breathless, and kept going, the heat of his body was close enough now that you could feel it through the space between you.

“You buttoned it wrong. The whole thing is crooked. I’m only putting it right.”

You began fastening the buttons again, correctly this time, brushing your knuckles against the fabric over his chest with every careful movement. When you glanced up, his eyes were already on yours.

Neither of you looked away. Your hands remained against him, steadying the last button, and the air between you felt suddenly too warm, too narrow. “This,” Alfie said, almost to himself, “is exactly what I needed. A woman’s eye for the details. The little things a man always manages to miss when he’s thinking about everything else.”

His voice had dropped into a more intimate register, his hand had come up as if of its own accord, hovering near your waist without quite touching you yet, and you could feel the weight of the almost-contact like a held breath between your bodies. Then the sound of small feet on the stairs broke the moment, followed by the heavier thump of Cyril deciding the morning had officially begun.

You stepped back at once, letting your hands fall to your sides, your pulse was still too fast and too visible in your throat. Leah appeared first, her hair still tangled from sleep, followed by Sarah with her usual dry expression, and then Ruth in her nightgown with Cyril bringing up the rear in a clatter of paws.

Alfie recovered more smoothly than you did. He straightened his now-correct waistcoat with a tug, and addressed the girls with affection. “Morning, my disasters. Be good for the lady today.” He ruffled Ruth’s hair until she squeaked, pressed a quick kiss to Leah’s temple, and even managed to drop a brief kiss on the top of Sarah’s head despite the way she held herself stiffly under the touch. “I love you. All of you. Even the four-legged one.”

He glanced once more in your direction, there was something unreadable and still slightly heated in his eyes, a residual awareness of the moment the children had interrupted, then he collected his hat from the stand by the door, and left.

The storm arrived just after supper, rolling in from the west, it began as a distant muttering beyond the rooftops, then grew heavier, within minutes the rain was lashing the glass in slanting sheets, driven by a wind that found every gap in the old frames and made the curtains stir even when the sashes were closed. Every few minutes the sky cracked open with a white flash followed by a thunder that seemed to shake the floorboards.

You were in the armchair near the hearth with Ruth curled tightly against your side. Her body went tense each time the thunder rolled, a flinch that travelled from her shoulders down into the little fists that clutched your skirt. She pressed her face into the soft place between your neck and shoulder whenever the next crack arrived. You kept one arm around her, rubbing circles between her shoulder blades with the flat of your hand, murmuring reassurances that the house was strong, that the roof had seen worse storms than this, that the thunder was only noise and could not reach her here.

Leah appeared on the stairs without announcement. She came down slowly, trailing one hand along the banister as if the wood, and sat on the lowest step at first. After a long minute she drifted closer to the living room, silent as a shadow, and folded herself onto the edge of the sofa. She didn’t speak, but when the next clap of thunder hit, loud enough to rattle the panes, you saw her flinch hard, bitting the inside of her cheek until the colour left it.

You looked over at her carefully, keeping your voice low so as not to startle Ruth further. “Leah? Are you all right, sweetheart?”

She hesitated, then gave the smallest shake of her head. The words, when they came, were barely above the sound of the rain. “Storms scare me,” she said. “The loud ones, they always have. It feels like the sky is… breaking.”

You shifted slightly in the chair so you could see her better without dislodging Ruth, who made a small sound of protest and burrowed closer.

“I used to get scared too, when I was a little girl,” you told her. “Exactly the same way. Every time the thunder came I was certain something terrible was about to happen, that the roof would come in or the windows would shatter or the whole world would simply end. But I think…” You glanced at the rain-lashed windows, then back at the two of them, letting a small smile touch your mouth. “I think there must be something we can do about it.”

Leah lifted her eyes to yours at last, curious despite the fear still written in the line of her shoulders. “What do you mean?”

You sat forward a little. “Ruthie, Leah. I need you both to go and fetch every pillow and every blanket you can carry, as many as you can find. Don’t worry about making a mess, just bring them down here to me. All of them.”

Ruth lifted her head at once, Leah looked uncertain for only a second, glancing toward the stairs as if expecting Sarah to appear and forbid it, before she finally nodded. The two of them scrambled up and disappeared upstairs in a flurry of bare feet and urgent whispers. You heard cupboard doors opening and closing, and when they returned they were laden beyond all reason, their arms full of pillows of every size and blankets trailing behind them.

You smiled. “Perfect. We’re going to build a fort. A magic one, strong enough to keep the storm outside, and keep us safe in here.”

The next half-hour was of chaotic construction. Chairs were dragged in from the dining room and arranged into a square, blankets were draped and pinned and adjusted and re-adjusted until the structure began to take on the shape of a sprawling cave. The pillows became walls, and Ruth insisted on a lookout window that was really just a gap between two cushions. There was laughter when a blanket collapsed entirely on Ruth’s head, more laughter when Cyril briefly attempted to claim the interior, pushing his body halfway inside before being gently ejected with many apologies and promises of later access.

When the fort was finished it was a sprawling cave of fabric, lit only by the spill of lamplight from the room. You crawled inside first, ducking under the drooping entrance, then helped the girls in after you. The three of you settled in a tangle of limbs and blankets. Ruth immediately claimed your lap, curling against your middle. Leah sat close enough that her shoulder brushed yours, the contact being deliberate this time rather than accidental.

You lifted one hand and angled it in the soft light that filtered through the blanket wall. A simple shape formed, with long ears, a round body, and whiskers.

“Rabbit,” Ruth whispered at once, delighted, as if the creature had materialized fully formed from the air.

You changed the angle of your fingers. A longer snout appeared, with wings. “Dragon! It’s a dragon!” Leah exclaimed, and there was real excitement in her voice, the earlier fear from the storm momentarily forgotten.

You made a bird, a dog that looked like Cyril, a lumbering bear that made Ruth giggle into your shoulder. The girls guessed and argued and demanded more and more animals. Then Leah shifted closer still, so that her knee pressed against your thigh.

“Can you teach me?” she asked. “How to make them.”

“Of course.”

You guided her small hands with your own, showing her how to hold the fingers, how to tilt the wrist just so, how the smallest change of angle could turn a bird into a wolf or a rabbit into something that resembled a horse. She concentrated, furrowing her brows in the same expression her father wore when he was working through a problem that mattered. When Leah finally produced a recognizable rabbit of her own, lopsided and a little shaky, the smile that broke across her face was wide and unguarded. She looked at you and for the first time since you’d arrived in that house there was no shadow of her sister’s disapproval in the expression, only pure pleasure at having made something new with her own hands.

Something warm unfolded in your chest. It felt like you were finally making progress with her.

You were still adjusting Leah’s fingers for a more ambitious shape, a cat, when a shadow fell across the open side of the fort. Sarah stood in the living room, her arms folded across her chest. You kept your voice easy. “Sarah, we’re in here. It’s a fort to protect us from the storm. There’s room if you want to come inside, we’re safe in here.”

Ruth piped up at once, twisting in your lap so she could see her sister. “Come on, Sarah! We’re making animals!”

Leah, still smiling from her success, added more quietly, almost shyly, “It’s nice in here. The thunder doesn’t sound so loud when you’re underneath these blankets.”

Sarah moved her eyes from your face to Leah’s, and something hard settled in her expression when she registered how close her sister was sitting to you, how relaxed Leah looked, how the usual distance between the two of you was simply… gone. The anger that rose in her was unmistakable.

“I’m not scared of storms,” she said flatly. “I never have been. Leah, come on. You don’t need to sit in a pile of blankets like a baby, it’s just bad weather.”

Leah’s new-found ease faltered for a second, she glanced at her sister, then back at you. Ruth’s small hand found Leah’s and squeezed it tightly.

“I… I want to stay here,” Leah said at last, her voice was small but steady. “We’re having fun and… I want to stay.”

Sarah’s face tightened further. She looked at you once more, the anger was still there, but so was something more complicated beneath it, something that looked almost like grief, like you were taking something else from her, like she was losing Leah too. Then she turned on her heel and left the room without another word.

Inside the fort the three of you remained still for a few seconds. Ruth reached for Leah’s hand again and held it, Leah let out a breath she seemed to have been holding since her sister appeared and leaned, just slightly, against your side.

Outside the storm continued, the only sounds were of the thunder still rolling, and the rain still falling in hard sheets. Until the front door opened with a push against the wind. The sound of rain and boots on the mat carried into the living room as Alfie stepped inside, shaking water from his coat and hat.

He stopped when he saw the living room transformed, the chairs dragged into a crooked square, the cascade of blankets forming a cave of fabric in the centre of the floor. “What in God’s name is this?”

Three voices answered at once from inside the blankets, overlapping with the particular excitement of children. “It’s the fort!” “To protect us from the storm!” “Daddy, come and see!”

You pushed one of the blanket flaps aside just enough to look out. Your hair was a little mussed, a few strands having escaped the pins during the long hour of playing in the fort. “We built it,” you told him. “So the girls wouldn’t be so scared of the storm. It actually helped.”

Alfie let the coat slide from his shoulders and hung it without looking. He walked closer, studying the construction. “Did you now.” He crouched, peering in. “And is there room in this fortress of yours for a man who’s just walked through the same storm, or am I to be left outside like some beggar?”

Ruth and Leah answered in chorus, laughing. “Nooo, daddy, you’re too big!” “You’ll knock the whole thing down!” “You’ll ruin it!”

Alfie pressed a hand to his chest in mock offence.

“Too big?” He dropped his voice into a whisper. “I’m scared of the storm too, properly frightened. The thunder’s been following me all the way home. Surely you wouldn’t leave your old father out here in the cold and the wet when there’s a perfectly good fort right here, warm and full of soft pillows?”

The girls dissolved into giggles. Ruth was the first to relent, scrambling forward on her knees to hold the blanket open wider.

“All right, but you have to be careful. And you have to crawl, no standing up.” Leah said, giving in too.

Alfie sighed as though the request was a great burden, then sank to his knees with a grunt and eased himself inside, shoulders first, then the rest of him, moving with surprising delicacy for a man of his size. The fort dipped and swayed under his weight, and the girls laughed harder, throwing their arms around him the moment he was fully in. Ruth climbed straight onto his chest as if it were the most natural place in the world, and Leah pressed against his side.

“Look! look what I can do. Our nanny taught me. Watch me, daddy.” Leah lifted her hands in the spill of light that came through the blanket walls and formed the rabbit shape you had shown her earlier. The shadow wavered at first, then steadied into something more recognizable. She glanced at her father, waiting.

Alfie’s expression softened as he watched the shadow for a long moment. “Would you look at that,” he murmured. “A rabbit, with ears and all. That’s no small thing, Leah. You’ve got clever hands, my little artist.”

Leah’s smile was small but it reached her eyes before she could stop it. She tried the dragon next and Alfie praised that one too.

You were close enough that your shoulder brushed his whenever either of you shifted, the contact was light but constant, impossible to ignore in the small space. Alfie turned his head and for a moment the two of you simply looked at each other in the dim light that filtered through the fabric. Then he lifted a hand and, very carefully, brushed a strand of hair away from your cheek with the back of his fingers. The touch was brief, almost absent-minded, but it lingered in the air after his hand fell away.

“Looks like you had fun this evening,” he said low enough that it stayed between the two of you, beneath the girls’ soft chatter.

“The girls aren’t scared of the storm anymore,” you answered. “That was the important part. The fort did most of the work.”

A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “You always know what to do, don’t you? Some little solution no one else thought of. It’s becoming a habit, an useful one.”

He turned his attention back to the girls, who were already growing heavier and sleepier against him. “What do you say we stay here the night?” he asked them. “This fort’s more comfortable than it has any right to be, we could sleep right here.”

The reaction was immediate, Ruth let out a delighted shriek that she quickly muffled against his shirt. Leah clapped her hands over her mouth to contain a laugh that still escaped around.

Alfie looked at you again, the question came out quieter this time. “And you? Are you staying too?”

You hesitated, the closeness of him, the warmth of the small space made the decision feel larger than it should have. “I don’t know,” you said. “I should probably—”

“It wouldn’t be the same without you.” He said it simply, without performance. “The fort’s incomplete if you’re off somewhere else being sensible. Stay, please.”

You stayed. The blankets were redistributed, the pillows were claimed and reclaimed. Ruth ended up tucked firmly against Alfie’s side, and Leah curled near your shoulder, close enough that you could feel the rise and fall of her breathing. Cyril, who had been watching the entire proceeding from under the table, finally padded over and collapsed across the open entrance of the fort.

The girls fell asleep first. Alfie shifted carefully so he could look at you without waking anyone. “You comfortable down there?” he murmured, you sensed a thread of humour returning. “Or would you rather cuddle? You could be the big spoon, I can make arrangements. I’m a flexible man when properly motivated.”

You laughed under your breath, the sound was quiet enough not to wake the girls up. “Sleeping like this reminds me of home,” you admitted. “Sharing a bed with too many siblings. Elbows in your ribs, someone always stealing the blanket. It used to drive me mad. Now it feels… familiar, like something I didn’t know I’d missed until it was here again.”

Alfie was quiet for a stretch, his gaze on the ceiling of blankets above them. “I miss sleeping with somebody,” he said. “The bed upstairs is too big now, too cold. There used to be nights, before, when it was me and Edna and all the girls with us. All of us piled in like a litter of pups. It was perfect, and then it was gone, and the quiet that came after was… louder than anything else. I’ve been missing exactly this.”

You studied his profile in the low light, the tired lines at the corners of his eyes, the way the storm had left a sheen of damp still in his hair. “I’m glad you can feel like that again,” you whispered. “Even if it’s only for one night in a blanket fort.”

Alfie turned his head, his eyes found yours, the look was unguarded. “Ever since you arrived I feel more like the man I used to be, before the house felt like it was only half-occupied. You brought the noise back in the right way, the living way. The kind that makes a place feel lived in again.”

Outside, the thunder rolled once more, neither of you spoke again for a long time. The storm continued to pass, and the night settled around the small shelter.

You’d spent the better part of the evening in the garden with Ruth and Leah, the three of you crouched among the grass looking for bugs. When you finally herded the girls indoors, their hands were dirty, and their knees grass-stained. Once they were settled with Cyril in the living room, you climbed the stairs to your own room, already thinking of hot water and the relief of being alone for a little while. You turned on the taps in your bathroom, but nothing came out. A hollow gurgle rose from the pipes, the plumbing had chosen today of all days to fail.

You gathered your things, your dress, a clean towel, and a bottle of lavender soap, and went downstairs instead. The main bathroom was larger and older, with a claw-foot tub that took longer to fill. You turned the taps and watched the water rise, pouring in a generous amount of the lavender soap that foamed into thick bubbles.

Then you undressed, leaving your clothes folded neatly on the closed lid of the laundry hamper, and stepped into the water. The heat drew an involuntary breath from you. You sank down until the bubbles covered you to the collarbones, the water closing around your shoulders and the soft curve of your breasts, and closed your eyes, letting the day loosen its hold.

You didn’t hear the door. Alfie turned the handle without thinking and stepped inside, stopping as though he had walked into a wall.

You were in his bathtub, the bubbles were generous, but not generous enough. They had thinned in places under the movement of the water. He could see the line of your neck, the wet sheen of water and soap along your collarbones, the soft upper curves of your breasts where the foam had parted. The rest of you was hidden beneath the surface and the remaining bubbles, but his mind filled in every missing detail with precision.

He could imagine, with vivid clarity, the full weight of your bare breasts beneath the water, the give of your stomach, the soft sling between your thighs, the way your legs would look parted against the porcelain. He imagined the heat of the water against your skin, the way it would trickle down between your breasts if you sat up, the sound you might make if he crossed the room and put his hands on you, sliding his palms over your wet skin, finding with his fingers all the places that made you arch.

His mouth went dry, a heavy pulse settled between his legs, insistent, thickening with a speed that startled him. He hadn’t looked at a woman like this, he hadn’t wanted with this sudden, visceral force in months, and the intensity of it left him momentarily unable to move. For a dangerous second he simply stood there and stared, letting the filthy images burn through his mind.

Then sense returned. “Excuse me, love,” he said, sounding rougher than he intended, the words scraping out of him. “I didn’t know you were in here.”

You opened your eyes, for a heartbeat you only looked at him, then the reality of the situation arrived all at once. You sank lower, crossing your arms instinctively over your chest beneath the bubbles, the heath flooded your face and the tops of your breasts where the water had left them exposed.

“I’m sorry, there was a plumbing issue upstairs. No water at all, so I came down here instead.”

Alfie hadn’t moved from the doorway. He flicked his eyes once more to the exposed line of your clavicle, the wet gleam of soap still clinging there, before he forced them to the wall above your head with visible effort. “That’s very… unlucky,” he said slowly. “Or very lucky, depending on who’s looking.”

You felt the heat deepen, spreading down your throat. “Mr Solomons,” you reminded him, trying for calm and missing it by a fraction, “I’m… in the tub. Naked.”

A strained sound escaped him, almost a laugh, almost a groan “Believe me,” he answered, “I am very much aware of that fact. Painfully aware, even. It’s rather… hard not to notice.” He shifted his weight as though the floor had become unreliable. “Hard being the key word. The bubbles are doing their best, but they’re not exactly a brick wall, are they?”

You swallowed, suddenly the steam in the room felt thicker and heavier. “You should look for a plumber,” you suggested. “For the bathroom upstairs. That would… solve the immediate problem.”

“Yeah.” He nodded too quickly. “Yeah, I… I’m—” He tried to finish the sentence, but it was as if the words got lost in the way from his brain to his mouth.

“You?” you prompted, and there was the faintest thread of amusement in your voice despite everything. Watching such a strong, powerful man scramble for words was endearing

Alfie exhaled through his nose. The pulse between his legs had not lessened, if anything it had grown more insistent, an aching reminder of how long it had been since he had allowed himself to want anything this badly.

“I’ll walk out of here in a moment,” he said, each word was deliberate, as if he were negotiating with his own body. “Just as soon as I remember how to use my legs. And how to breathe properly. And how to stop inventing extremely detailed and inappropriate images of what the rest of you looks like under all that soap.” He closed his eyes briefly, as though that might help. It did not, the images only grew clearer in the dark behind his lids. “Fuck me.”

A helpless giggle escaped you before you could stop it. You bit your lower lip, but the sound had already left. Alfie opened his eyes again. “Oh, you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

You tried for innocence and failed, the attempt was undermined by the lingering smile at the corners of your mouth. “Me? What’s there to enjoy? I’m the one stuck in a bathtub while my boss stands in the doorway having a crisis.”

A real smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “A crisis,” he repeated. “That’s one way of putting it.” He lingered a second longer than he should, dipping his gaze once more to the wet skin of your throat, before he mastered himself with visible effort. “Right. I’m leaving. Before I do something we will both have to pretend never happened.”

He turned and the door closed behind him with more care than force. You heard his footsteps retreat down the hallway, and underneath them the continuous mutter of his voice, fragments that drifted back to you. “…bloody temptress… sitting there like that… putting thoughts in a man’s head he has no business thinking… months of keeping himself in check and then this… Fucking hell, those bubbles…”

The words faded as he moved farther away, but you remained very still in the water. Your pulse was unsteady in your throat, your wrists, behind your knees. Your whole body felt warm and it had nothing to do with the bath, it was the way he’d looked at you, hungry, barely restrained. That had left a vivid imprint, you’d felt desired in an unmistakable way.

You knew nothing could come of it. He was your employer, he was a husband still grieving. The house, the girls, the life you had built here would not survive the complication. You’d repeated these facts to yourself more than once in the quiet of your own room, late at night when sleep refused to come. And still the knowledge that he wanted you, that the sight of your bare shoulders and the imagined rest of you had been enough to leave him momentarily speechless, felt both dangerous and satisfying at the same time.

You woke in the dark with a dry throat. As you slipped out of bed, you pulled a shawl over your nightgown, and went downstairs barefoot, careful not to wake anyone. The kitchen was cool and still when you reached it, you poured a glass of water from the jug and stood at the counter drinking it slowly.

The front door opened, you stepped into the hallway just as Alfie closed the door behind him. He was later than usual, and looked surprised to find you awake. “You’re awake, love.”

“I came down for water,” you answered. “You’re home late.”

A tired laugh moved through him. He set his hat on the stand and began to shrug out of his coat. “Checking the time of my arrivals now, are we? Getting possessive already? I shall have to start sending notes ahead of schedule so you don’t worry yourself into a state.”

He took a step toward the living room and the humour faltered. A sharp wince crossed his face, and he moved his hand to his side almost without thought, pressing his fingers against the fabric of his waistcoat.

You noticed the way he moved, favouring one side. “Are you all right?”

“It’s nothing.” But he touched the place again as he walked, when his fingers came away, there was a dark smear across them. Blood.

Your stomach dropped at the sight of blood coming from his body. “Alfie—you’re hurt.”

The name left your mouth before you could stop it. He stilled, then a short laugh escaped him, the sound edged with pain. “Well,” he said. “Would you listen to that? First time you’ve called me by my name instead of all that ‘Mr Solomons’ formality. I must be in a proper state if we’re dispensing with titles.”

“What happened? Come here, sit down before you fall down.” You moved without waiting for permission. Your hand found his elbow, steadying him as you guided him into the living room and down onto the sofa. He went with less resistance than you expected.

Once he was seated, you knelt in front of him and began unbuttoning his waistcoat, then the shirt beneath, working your fingers quickly. The fabric parted, his torso was broader and more solid than the cut of his clothes usually suggested, with a dark scatter of hair going from his chest down to his abdomen, eventually disappearing under the front of his pants.

You felt the sudden urge to set your palms against him, to feel the heat of his skin and the rise and fall of his breathing under your hands, to map the places where the years had left their mark. You forced the thought down and focused on the wound instead. It was on the lower left side of his abdomen, just above the hip, a shallow graze, still seeping slowly.

“A bullet,” he said, as though commenting on the weather. “Only kissed me, didn’t go in. I’ve had worse.”

“A bullet?”

“Don’t look at me like that, it didn’t lodge. I’m still in one piece, more or less. The aim was poor and the timing worse, fortunate for me.”

You stood, the sight of the wound and the casual way he spoke of it left you momentarily breathless. “Stay there. Don’t move.”

You went to the downstairs bathroom and gathered what you needed, clean cloths, the bottle of antiseptic that was in the cabinet, a roll of bandage, and the small pair of scissors for cutting it cleanly. When you returned, he was exactly where you left him, watching you through half-lidded eyes. You knelt again between his knees and set to work, cleaning the blood away. He flinched once when the antiseptic touched it, an intake of breath that he tried to hide.

“Does it hurt?”

He looked down at you. The angle put your face level with his open shirt, close enough that you could feel the heat coming off his skin. “A little,” he admitted. “But the view helps. The view helps a great deal, if I’m being honest.”

You kept your eyes on the wound, though you felt the weight of his gaze like a hand resting against the side of your face. “How did this happen?”

“A deal that decided it would rather go bad than go smoothly.”

You pressed a clean pad against the graze and began to wrap the bandage. Your knuckles brushed the soft skin of his stomach with each pass of the cloth, but neither of you mentioned it or pulled off.

“You need to be more careful,” you said quietly. “What if the bullet had gone in instead of across? You have three girls upstairs who need you. They’ve already lost one parent, they can’t afford to lose another.”

Alfie dropped his voice into something more serious, though the edge of dark humour remained. “Don’t worry yourself into an early grave on my account, love. It takes a good deal more than one man with a shaky hand and a cheap pistol to put me in the ground. I’ve been shot at, stabbed at, and shouted at by women far more dangerous than any of the idiots I do business with. I’m still here, and I intend to stay that way.”

You finished the bandage and sat back on your heels, checking your work. The pad was secure and firm without being too tight.

“Don’t you think it’s funny,” he said, “how life keeps arranging these little circumstances where one of us ends up half-naked in front of the other? First the bath and now this. It’s developing a pattern, a rather suggestive one, as if the universe has decided we need reminding of certain… possibilities.”

The space between your kneeling body and his open shirt suddenly felt smaller. “You think so?”

“Mhm.” He studied you for a long moment, the late hour and the wound had stripped away some of the usual careful distance. “Maybe if life decides to get a little more generous next time, it’ll put us closer together. And with fewer clothes between us when it does. A man can dream, can’t he? Especially when the woman in front of him is looking at him like that.”

You felt the heat of the words move through you, settling in the soft place beneath your stomach. Alfie watched the shift in your expression, the way your breath had gone shallow.

“Are you all right, love?” he asked, his voice was stripped of most of its usual performance. “I hope my forwardness didn’t make you uncomfortable. I have a tendency to speak before the better parts of my brain have finished their deliberations. Especially at this hour, especially when I’m hurt, and the house is quiet, and you’re looking at me like that.”

You shook your head slowly. Your hands were still resting lightly against your thighs where you knelt in front of him. “No… it isn’t that. It’s just—” You searched for the words. “You lost your wife only a few months ago. Everything is still so recent, and I don’t want to… do too much. Or be too much. I don’t want to take advantage of a moment when you’re hurt and tired and saying things you might not mean in the morning.”

Alfie was quiet for a long stretch. “I’m a man,” he said simply. “There are certain things a man can’t ignore when he’s got a beautiful woman kneeling in front of him in her nightclothes, looking at him the way you’re looking at me right now. The body doesn’t always wait for the heart to finish grieving. Sometimes it just… wants. And I’ve been wanting for longer than I care to admit. Longer than is sensible… longer than is fair to either of us.”

Your pulse was loud in your ears, you could feel it in your throat, in the tips of your fingers, in your wrists. He continued, his eyes never leaving yours. “Hiring you was the best thing I’ve done in a long time, and it was also a curse. The best thing because of how much my life has improved since you walked through that door, the girls are healthier, the house doesn’t feel like a mausoleum anymore. You’ve given them something I couldn’t manage on my own, someone who stays, who notices, who doesn’t flinch from the hard parts. But it’s a curse because of how much you test every scrap of restraint I have left. Every time you’re close, every time you lean over me or look at me with those eyes or say my name like you just did, I want to drag you up here onto this sofa and forget every sensible reason I have for keeping my hands to myself. And there are a great many sensible reasons, I just… can’t seem to hold on to them when you’re this close.”

You drew an unsteady breath. The confession settled into you, spreading all over your body, making it feel warm all over. “I’ve felt it too,” you admitted, the words barely above a whisper. “I have, but everything has been so recent. The girls are only just starting to accept me, and Sarah still looks at me like I’m a threat, like I’m trying to erase her mother. If we… if anything happened, and it went wrong, I could lose this place. They could lose the only bit of steadiness they’ve had since she died, and I don’t know if I could forgive myself for that.”

Alfie leaned forward slightly, the movement careful because of the wound, but deliberate, closing another inch of the space between you. “It’s recent,” he agreed. “I won’t pretend otherwise, but I knew my Edna. She would’ve wanted me to be happy again eventually, she would’ve wanted our girls to have someone like you looking after them, someone who actually sees them, who stays up through storms and builds forts and teaches shadow animals. Ever since you’ve been here, the house feels like a real home, it’ss alive again. There’s noise, there’s warmth, there’s a family in these rooms instead of three children and a man. You’ve become part of that family, whether Sarah is ready to admit it or not. And fuck…” His voice dropped. “That makes a man imagine things, it makes him want things he has no right to ask for. Things he’s been thinking about when he shouldn’t, late at night, every time you walk into a room.”

Your breathing had gone shallow and quick. You could feel the restless heat low in your stomach, the way your body had already begun to lean toward him without your conscious permission. “Mr Solomons—”

“None of that.” The correction was quiet but left no room for argument. “Alfie. Say my name.”

You swallowed, the sound of it loud in the quiet room. “Alfie.”

The sound he made was low, almost involuntary, an exhale that seemed to come from deep in his chest. He lifted his hand, the back of his fingers brushed your cheek first, the touch light, almost testing, then settled more deliberately against your mouth. His thumb traced the curve of your lower lip with aching slowness, as though he was memorising the shape of it, the softness, the way it parted slightly under the pressure of his touch.

“Do you have any idea,” he murmured, “how beautiful your mouth looks when you say my name like that? Soft, a little uncertain, a little breathless. I’ve been wondering what it would sound like in other contexts, hungrier ones. I’ve been wondering a great many things I probably shouldn’t.”

He was closer now, the space between you had shrunk to almost nothing. He slid his hand from your lip to the back of your head, threading his fingers into your hair with possession, the touch was firm enough to hold you but gentle enough that you could still pull away if you chose. For a single suspended second, he only looked at you, giving you the chance to stop this before it became irreversible, before the distance you’d both been maintaining collapsed entirely.

You didn’t move, and he closed the last of the distance and took your mouth with his. The kiss was deep and hungry from the first moment, no time for tentative exploration or polite testing. It was the kiss of a man who had been holding himself back for weeks and had finally reached the end of his restraint. His mouth was warm and open, he kissed you like he meant to learn every part of your mouth, like he’d thought about this exact moment more times than he would admit.

Alfie tightened his hand in your hair, angling your head so he could deepen the kiss further, and a sound of pure want rumbled in his chest when you answered him, when you opened your mouth under his, and your body leaned into the contact without hesitation. You felt the world tilt, rising higher on your knees without thinking to find with one hand the open edge of his shirt, curling your fingers into the fabric as though you needed something to hold onto.

This kiss belonged to a man who’d been starving, and for a long, breathless stretch of time neither of you remembered how to stop. Alfie broke the kiss only long enough to speak, and the taste of him lingered on your lips.

“What kind of gentleman would I be,” he murmured, “if I got you on your knees for me before I got on mine for you? Nah, none of that. I intend to show you how much of a gentleman Alfie Solomons is.”

He slid his hands under your arms, lifting you with strength, and guided you up onto the sofa. Alfie settled you back against the cushions, then sank to his knees on the floor between your open thighs. The sight of him there, with his shirt still hanging open and his hair disordered from your fingers, made the ache between your thighs more intense.

“I’ve waited so long for this,” he said, looking up at you. “Weeks of watching you move through my house, weeks of keeping my hands to myself when all I wanted was to put them everywhere, on your waist, your hips, the soft places under your clothes. I’m done waiting.”

One of his hands rose to your breast, he cupped the weight of it through the fabric of your nightgown, squeezing it gently at first, then with more purpose. He found the peak of your nipple and circled it with his thumb, teasing it into a tight and aching point. He watched your face as he did it, cataloguing every small reaction, from the way your breath caught, to the way your lashes fluttered, and the soft, involuntary sound that escaped you. With the other hand, he gathered the hem of your nightgown and pushed it slowly upward, baring your thighs, your hips, and the plain cotton of your knickers already damp between your legs.

He hooked his fingers into the waistband and drew them down. You lifted your hips to help him, and the fabric slid over your skin, getting discarded somewhere behind him.

Alfie went still. “Fucking hell, love,” he breathed. The words came out hungry. “Would you look at that. So fucking pretty, already glistening for me. This is a miracle, a proper, living miracle sitting right here in front of me, wet and open, and I’ve been a fool for not putting my mouth on it sooner. Fuck, look at you.”

He leaned in, his mouth found the sensitive skin of your inner thigh first. Open, warm kisses suddenly turned into the scrape of his teeth as he bit them gently, just enough to leave a faint mark, then soothed the place with his tongue, working his way higher with torturous patience. Each press of his lips drew a small sound from you, the kind that made his fingers tighten on your thighs. When he was close enough that you could feel the heat of his breath against your cunt, he paused and looked up once more.

“I’m fucking hungry,” he told you. “I’m talking months kind of hungry. The sort of hunger that sits in a man’s soul and makes him think about this exact moment when he should be sleeping… about the way you’d taste, the way you’d sound, the way you’d look with my face between your legs. I’m going to take my time with you, I’m going to taste every part of this pretty cunt until you’re shaking, until you can’t remember anything but my mouth.”

He parted your outer lips with his thumb, gathering the wetness that was already there, spreading it up towards your clit, leaving it slick and warm. With the pad of one fingertip, he began to rub your clit in slow circles. The sensation was immediate, it felt like a spark of pleasure that made your hips twitch. You moaned, arching your back against the sofa cushions, your thighs twitching around his shoulders.

“That’s it,” he murmured. “Let me hear you. Don’t hold it back, I want to swallow every sound.”

He watched your face for another few seconds, still working his fingers on your swollen nub, the wetness of you coating his skin, before he replaced them with his mouth.

The first broad stroke of his tongue made your breath catch hard. He licked through your folds with thoroughness, collecting the slickness there, tasting you properly, then focusing on your clit, giving you flat kicks of his tongue that turned into a rhythmic suction of his lips.

A low sound vibrated against you. “Jesus, you taste good,” he said against your skin, the words muffled. “Sweet… fucking perfect. I’m going to devour this cunt. I’m going to keep my mouth on you until you cum for me, and then I might do it again just to make sure. Until you’re dripping down my chin and begging me to stop.”

He settled in properly, using his hands to grip your thighs and hold you open as he worked. He sucked your clit between his lips, flicked it with the tip of his tongue, then dragged the flat of it lower to push inside you in curling thrusts. The wet sounds of his mouth filled the quiet room, you could feel the scrape of his beard against the skin of your inner thighs and the heat of his breath.

“Don’t stop,” you managed, noticing how your voice had gone unsteady already. “Please—keep going. Don’t stop.”

You searched for his hair, threading your fingers into the strands to hold on, not pulling him away, only anchoring yourself as the pleasure escalated. Alfie made another sound of approval and shifted closer. He hooked your legs over his shoulders, spreading you wider, and the new angle let him press deeper, tongue-fucking into you in earnest now, before returning to your clit to suck in firm pulses. Every so often he rubbed the bridge of his nose against your puffy clit while he worked his tongue lower, and the combined sensation made you jerk your hips helplessly against his face, grinding into the heat of his mouth.

He didn’t rush, helearned you, the places that made you gasp, the pressure that made your thighs tremble, the exact rhythm that drew broken sounds from your throat. When your breathing grew sharper and you tightened your fingers in his hair, he only doubled down, eating you with the kind of hunger that made it clear he had been dying for this exact moment.

“That’s it, love,” he encouraged you, the words vibrating against your cunt. “You’re getting close, I can feel it. You’re squeezing my tongue. Give it to me, I want it… I want to feel you cum on my mouth.”

You were shaking now, tipping your back against the sofa. Desperate sounds spilled from you without permission. “I’m so close,” you told him, the words were almost a plea. “Alfie—I’m—gonna!”

He didn’t ease off, if anything, he grew more intent, sucking firmly on your clit while he pressed two of his fingers inside you to curl them against your g-spot until your vision blurred. The combination was too much, the wetness of his mouth and the thick press of his fingers made the tension snap.

You came hard, clamping your thighs around his head as a cry tore from your throat, the pleasure rolling through you in shuddering waves. Your cunt pulsed around his fingers, and Alfie stayed with you through it, still working you, drawing out every last pulse until you were trembling and oversensitive.

He pressed one last open-mouthed kiss to your cunt, tasting you one final time, then rested his forehead against your inner thigh, breathing as hard as you were. When he finally looked up, his mouth and beard were wet and shiny, covered in your arousal.

“Beautiful. Absolutely fucking beautiful. The way you came for me, the way you tasted… That cunt of yours was an unforgettable experience. Properly unforgettable. But we’re not finished yet, love, not even close. We’re only just getting to the good part, give me a minute to remember how legs work, and then we’ll continue.”

He pushed himself up with visible effort, wincing as he settled onto the sofa beside you. The movement pulled at the bandage on his side, drawing a grunt from his throat. You sat up as well, pulling your nightgown down.

“Alfie… you have a bullet wound on your stomach—”

He waved the concern away with a dismissive flick of his fingers, though the pain was clear in the careful way he held himself.

“That little graze isn’t the problem. The real son of a bitch is my sciatica, chooses the most inconvenient moments to remind me I’m not twenty-five anymore. Tonight of all nights it decides to make itself known.”

A startled laugh escaped you despite everything. The absurdity of it, sitting on the sofa after what he had just done to you, discussing his sciatica as if it were the most ordinary interruption in the world. “I could get on top,” you offered quietly, “if that would be easier for you.”

The sound he made was pure want. “That,” he said, already reaching for you, “is a brilliant idea. Come here.”

He pulled you closer, kissing you slower this time, he moved his hand into your hair, and yours found the open edge of his shirt. For a few long seconds, the world narrowed to the heat of his mouth and the weight of him beside you.

Then glass shattered. Literally. The sound was sudden, of crystal hitting floorboards and exploding into pieces. Both of you froze and turned toward the doorway.

Sarah stood there in her nightdress, barefoot, a puddle of water spreading around the broken glass at her feet. Her face was white, her eyes wide and shining with a mixture of shock and pain. She’d seen the kiss, the way you were gripping Alfie’s shirt, and the hand he had on the back of your head.

“Sarah—” You started to rise. “Wait. Sarah, come here. Let me—”

But she was already turning. A sound escaped her, part of it was a sob, and part of it pure anger. She ran, her feet pounding up the stairs in panic.

The living room fell into a heavy silence, the heat of the last minutes was already cooling. You looked at Alfie. “I should go after her. I need to make sure she’s all right.”

Alfie closed his habd around your wrist before you could fully stand. His grip was firm but not rough. “Wait, love. She’s a child, she’ll be upset, she’ll cry, she’ll slam a few doors… that’s what children do when the world doesn’t arrange itself the way they want. She’ll be fine. We, on the other hand, have a more urgent matter.” He glanced down pointedly at the obvious strain in the front of his trousers, throbbing insistently. “This isn’t going to sort itself out with kind thoughts and patience.”

You shook your head, already pulling free gently, the need to go after Sarah was stronger than the lingering hunger between you. “Alfie. I need to make sure she’s okay. She just walked in on us kissing. I can’t leave her alone with whatever she’s imagining right now. I need to explain it.”

He held your gaze for a long second, his eyes were full of frustration, but behind it there was reluctant understanding. Then he exhaled and released your wrist. “Fine. Fine. Go play the responsible adult. But if you take too long, I’m not responsible for what I do with my own hand in the meantime. A man has limits, and mine are currently being tested in ways that are frankly unreasonable.”

You pressed a quick, almost apologetic kiss to the corner of his mouth, still tasting yourself on him, and left him there on the sofa.

“This is what happens to a man when he’s a gentleman, he’s left with blue balls.” You heard him muttering under his breath as you climbed up the stairs.

Sarah’s bedroom door was closed. You knocked softly, then opened it when there was no answer. Her bed was empty, the covers thrown back in a tangle. You checked the other rooms on the floor, but found nothing. Only when you reached the small library at the end of the hall did you find her.

She was sitting on the window seat with her knees drawn up to her chest, her arms wrapped tightly around them. She didn’t look at you when you stepped inside.

You closed the door quietly behind you and stayed near it, giving her space. “Sarah. Let me explain what you saw.”

Her voice came out flat, the words carefully controlled, like she was trying very hard not to cry. “I know what I saw. You were kissing my dad. It wasn’t enough for you to come into this house and try to replace my mother, to take her place like it was already yours. Now you’re trying to steal her husband too. You’re trying to take everything that was hers.”

The accusation landed with the force she intended, meant to hurt you. You took a slow breath and kept your voice steady.

“That was never my intention, not from the first day I walked through the door. I am here to do a job, Sarah. It is my job to take care of the three of you, to make sure you are fed and clean and safe and that someone is paying attention when things are hard, that’s all it has ever been. It’s not my fault that your mother isn’t here anymore. Life took her away from you, and from your father, and from Leah and Ruth. It is unfair, it is cruel, and it was not supposed to happen yet, and nothing about it is right. But we cannot change it. She is gone, and someone still needs to care for the three of you every single day. That someone is me, because that is the work I was hired to do, not because I am trying to become your mother.”

Sarah finally turned her head. Her eyes were red-rimmed and shining with unshed tears, but her expression was of concentrated fury, the kind that had nowhere else to go. “And what’s your excuse for kissing my father? Is that part of the job too?”

“That… just happened,” you tried your best to explain something you didn’t even fully understand yourself. “Adult people sometimes find themselves attracted to each other. It isn’t always something you can control or plan for, it simply arrives. You don’t choose the moment or the person. It doesn’t mean I came here with the intention of taking anything that belonged to your mother. It doesn’t mean I think I can replace her. It only means that two people who live in the same house and care about the same children sometimes cross a line they didn’t expect to cross.”

Sarah tightened her arms around her knees. Her voice rose, cracking under the weight of everything she had been holding since the day her mother died. “I wish you’d never stepped foot inside this house. I wish I never met you. Why don’t you just go? Leave all of us alone. We were fine before you came, we didn’t need you… we still don’t.”

The words were meant to wound, and they did. You felt them settle in your chest like stones. For a long moment you simply stood there, letting the silence stretch between you.

“I know you’re a good girl, Sarah. I know you are angry and hurt and that everything feels like too much right now. You have every right to those feelings, I’m not going to tell you that you shouldn’t have them. But I hope, when you’re ready, that you might give yourself the chance to get to know me properly. Not the version of me you’ve decided I am, but the actual person standing here. I’m not your enemy, I never have been.”

She did not answer, just turned her face back toward the window, keeping her shoulders rigid with the effort of not breaking further. You waited a few seconds longer in case anything else came, but nothing else did. The rejection was complete. You left the library without another word, closing the door softly behind you.

Downstairs, Alfie was still waiting. He’d closed his shirt loosely over the bandage and was sitting forward with his elbows on his knees, staring at the broken glass and the spreading puddle of water as though it might offer answers. When he heard your footsteps, he looked up at once.

“How did it go?”

You remained standing near the doorway for a moment, the echo of Sarah’s voice still playing in your ears.

“She was angry,” you said. “Very angry. She told me it wasn’t enough that I came here and tried to replace her mother, that now I’m trying to steal her father as well. She looked at me like I had taken something that belonged only to her and deliberately broken it. Like everything I touch turns into another loss for her.”

Alfie closed his eyes for a second and shook his head. “She’s in so much pain,” he said. “I can’t blame her for it. She was closer to her mother than the other two ever managed to be. Edna and Sarah had a particular way with each other. When Edna fell sick, it was hardest on her, she understood more of what was happening than Leah or Ruth ever could. She’s been carrying that understanding ever since.”

You hesitated, then asked the question that had been sitting at the edge of your mind for weeks, the one you had never quite found the right moment for until now. “How did she die? If you don’t mind telling me.”

Alfie was silent for a long time. “Tuberculosis. She started coughing in the winter, and by spring we both knew it wasn’t going to be a simple cold. The doctors confirmed it within the month. I knew from very early on that she wasn’t going to overcome it. But I still tried, the best physicians I could find, medicines that cost more than sense, specialists brought from all over the country. I prayed every day, I bargained, I threatened. I did everything a person can do when the person they love is being taken from them, but you can’t cheat death.”

He rubbed a hand over his face. “None of it mattered, the ending was already written. The girls weren’t allowed in the same room with her toward the end, too great a risk of contagion. They’d stand in the doorway and look at her from a distance, their own mother was fading in front of them, and they couldn’t even hold her hand during her last breaths. Sarah took it the worst, she understood that the space between the doorway and the bed was the beginning of the permanent absence. She’s not only angry at you, but she’s also angry at the entire unfair shape of the world. And I can’t fault her for any of it.”

The quiet that followed was heavy with the weight of the conversation. You felt the guilt settle in your stomach, the earlier heat his mouth now felt almost distant beneath what’d happened.

“I feel so bad,” you admitted. “So guilty. I’m not helping her pain, I’m only adding to it. Everything I do seems to make the loss worse for her instead of softer. Even the good things, the forts, the cookies, somehow turn into another reminder that her mother isn’t the one doing them.”

Alfie looked at you, and the expression on his face was almost gentle despite the exhaustion and the pain of the wound. “That’s nonsense,” he said firmly. “You’re not guilty of a single thing except having too big a heart… and maybe too irresistible a face, one that doesn’t let me stay away from you. Sarah’s pain was already there long before you arrived. You didn’t create it, you simply walked into a house that was still bleeding and tried to stop some of the bleeding. That isn’t a crime, it’s the opposite of one. And if she can’t see that yet, it doesn’t make it less true.”

He pushed himself to his feet with a measured movement, pressing one hand briefly against the bandage at his side, the other steadying himself on the arm of the sofa.

“I should go up and try to calm her down. She’s more likely to listen to me than to anyone else right now, even if listening only means sitting in the same room while she refuses to speak. She needs to know the sky isn’t falling simply because two adults in this house found themselves unable to keep their hands to themselves. She needs to know that her father’s still here, and that nothing has been taken from her tonight.”

You glanced down almost involuntarily at the front of his trousers, where the earlier urgency had now faded.

“And how are you… with the…?”

Alfie followed your gaze. A humourless huff of laughter escaped him. “Don’t worry yourself about that, love. Everything that goes up eventually comes down again, with or without assistance. I’ve overcome worse inconveniences than a case of blue balls. But—” He stepped closer. “We do have pending business, you and I. Unfinished business. I haven’t forgotten what we were in the middle of, and I don’t intend to let the interruption erase it forever.”

The promise sat between you. Alfie held your eyes for another moment, and then turned toward the stairs. He found her exactly where you’d said she would be. She didn’t turn when the door opened, Alfie closed it quietly behind him and crossed the room, lowering himself onto the edge of the window seat beside her.

“My princess,” he said. “My angel. My beautiful, furious girl. Your old man has some explaining to do, and I would rather do it properly than leave you alone with half-formed ideas that will only hurt you more.”

“You don’t need to explain it like I’m a little child. I understand things, I understand what I saw. You’ve already forgotten about mum. You’ve already found a replacement for her. It didn’t even take you very long.”

Alfie was quiet for a stretch, he looked at her profile, the shine still lingering in her eyes and the way she held herself as if bracing for another blow. “My darling, light of my life, listen to your dad carefully, because I need you to hear this and not the version of it that your brain is currently writing for you. I could never replace your mother, not in this house, not in my heart, not in yours. Edna will always be your mother, that doesn’t change because she is no longer in the next room. She remains exactly where she has always been, in the stories we tell, in the way Leah draws her, in the way Ruth still looks for her when she wakes from a nightmare. She’s not gone from us in the ways that matter most, but that doesn’t mean every door in the world closed the day she left it forever. Grief does not demand that a person remain empty for the rest of their days, it only demands that we remember them.”

Sarah finally turned her head, the anger in her face was absolute, the kind that had nowhere else to go but outward. “But it’s been so little time. Months, not even a full year. And you already brought a woman into this house, and then you kissed her. In our living room, like mum never existed.”

Alfie didn’t flinch from the accusation, he met it directly. “What can I say to you that will make it sit more gently? The heart wants what it wants, and the body has its own stubborn opinions on the matter. There is no correct amount of time that makes wanting permissible again. I sat with your mother on her deathbed, I held the cup to her mouth when she could no longer lift it, I listened to her breathing grow thinner and further apart, I buried her, I have woken in the night more times than I can count and reached for a side of the bed that is empty. I still grieve her, some nights the missing of her is so intense it feels new all over again. And still, still, I can look at another person and feel something stir, that’s not betrayal, that’s simply… being alive. Wanting does not erase what came before it, it only proves that the heart is still capable of more than one shape of love at a time.”

Sarah’s voice cracked. “Don’t you love mum anymore? Did you stop loving her so quickly? Was it that easy?”

Alfie reached out and rested his hand over both of hers where they were locked around her knees.

“Of course I still love her. I spent more than twenty years of my life with that woman, I built a home with her, I watched her carry and birth and raise the three of you. Love like that does not simply switch off because the person is no longer here to receive it. It changes shape, it becomes a memory, an ache, and the determination to keep living in a way she wouldn’t be ashamed of. And I think, if she could see the woman currently living under this roof, she would’ve liked her. Edna had a sharp eye for people who were genuine, she would’ve been glad there’s someone in this house who makes me smile when I look at her, someone who stays up through storms and builds forts and teaches shadow animals and cares for the three of you as though your happiness is her priority.”

Sarah’s eyes were bright with unshed tears. She looked younger suddenly. “I just can’t understand it,” she whispered. “Any of it. How you can look at someone else, how can Ruth and Leah love her. How everything just… continues without mum here.”

Alfie shifted closer and drew her carefully against his side. She resisted for only a second before the fight went out of her and she let herself be held.

“I know,” he murmured into her hair. “Death is a complicated, ugly, unfair thing. It doesn’t follow rules that make sense to the people left behind. It doesn’t wait until everyone is ready. But you need to understand something important, my girl, and I need you to carry it with you when the anger gets loud again, no one is stealing me from you or from your sisters. The three of you are, and will always be, my first and last priority. You’re the reason I get up in the morning, you’re the reason this house still has a purpose. I live for you, I would die for you without hesitation. Everything I do, every decision, is so that the three of you can be happy and cared for and as whole as the world will allow. That hasn’t changed, it will never change.”

He held her for a long time in the quiet of the library, until Sarah’s breathing gradually steadied against his chest, her tension easing into exhaustion, one that came after a long fight with feelings.

“Come on, my darling. Let’s get you to bed. The night is already too long, and tomorrow will still be there waiting whether we are ready for it or not.”

He stood carefully and offered her his hand. After a moment she took it. Alfie led her down the hallway to her room, where Leah was still deeply asleep in the other bed, with one arm flung out across the covers. He turned back the covers on Sarah’s bed and waited while she climbed in. He drew the blankets up to her chin and sat on the edge of the mattress.

“I love you,” he told her while smoothing her hair back from her forehead. “You and your sisters are the best thing I have ever done in this life. Nothing, and no one, will ever change that.” He leaned down and pressed a long kiss to her forehead. “Sleep, my angel, I will be in my room if you need me.”

Sarah did not answer, but her eyes were closed. Alfie remained seated on the edge of the bed for another minute, watching the slow rise and fall of her breathing, before he rose and left the room as quietly as he’d entered it.

When Alfie finally came back downstairs, the living room was empty. The broken glass had been left where it fell, and the sofa still held the shape of where the two of you had been.

But you were gone, you’d already retreated upstairs to your own room. Every time you closed your eyes you saw Sarah’s face in the doorway, the way she’d looked at you as though you’d taken the last solid thing she had left and deliberately broken it.

You tried to make sense of what you were doing, you wanted Alfie, that much was no longer deniable, but wanting him felt increasingly like an act of damage. Every step closer to Alfie seemed to push Sarah further into her grief.

Was there any version of this in which you could have Alfie, his hands, his mouth, the warmth of his attention, without dragging what was left of his family further into ruin? Sarah already hated you, and Leah was only beginning to trust you, but if you continued down this path, if you let the wanting between you and Alfie become something real, what would it cost them?

You wondered if it was even possible to have the man you’d begun to want without dragging what remained of his family further into the wreckage. If you could stand beside him without becoming another loss for his daughters to survive. You closed your eyes and tried to decide which was worse, the guilt of having crossed the line, or theguilt of still wanting to cross it again.

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A/N: First of all, thank you to @mapping-out-skies for this idea!! She sent it to me about a year ago, and it’s been sitting in my drafts ever since. Once the inspiration finally hit for this one, I swear I went a little manic and couldn’t stop writing.

I really hope you enjoy it and you didn’t get bored along the way.I know it’s a long read. I hope you grow attached to the characters and enjoy spending time with them, even when Alfie isn’t always on the page. Maybe some of you would’ve preferred if I got straight to the smut and skipped over so much of the story. But there were certain things I just couldn’t rush. I wanted to take my time with them and let the relationships develop.

I don’t think their story is over yet. If you enjoy this one, I could absolutely see myself writing more for them! Please let me know your thoughts!!!

dividers by: @cafekitsune

#peaky blinders x reader

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