#peb's thoughts

[liminalpebble]

Whenever things feel really dark, I like to imagine that somewhere in the world, someone's corny dad is attempting Take On Me at karaoke. He goes for the high note (yes, that high note). He fails exquisitely and has never been happier or more amused.

Imaginary, dorky karaoke dad gives me hope.

The world's on fire. Do whatever the fuck gives you a smidgen of joy.

[liminalpebble]

If you can't handle me at my Hell Is Real, you don't deserve me at my Grandpa's Cheese Barn.

[liminalpebble]

The other day I tried to say, "How's it feel now that the shoe's on the other foot?" But apparently my brain has all the stability of a punctured air mattress lately because what came out was...

"How's it feel now that the shoe's up the other ass?"

...and honestly. I think I like this better.

[liminalpebble]

Hi y'all,

I'm having that annoying writerly confidence crisis where I just feel like nothing I'm putting out there is good enough even though I put so much into it.

I'm not saying this to guilt anyone into reading anything you're not interested in. I totally understand that appetites vary from time to time, ability to engage varies, maybe you just need to save it up to read later, etc. (I go through exactly the same thing).

So, truly, no matter how little or how much engagement I get, I'm grateful for every single one of you and your reactions because it still amazes and delights and surprises me that there's even one other human out there reading what I write. And I get to experience the unique things that you other diverse and lovely people make. Often, it even ends up that I've made a new friend. How amazing is that when you really think about it?!

Anyway, I just would like to hear how y'all approach this for yourselves or get over it so you can find more joy in it again. I'd love to hear your thoughts as a reader too.

Also some hugs are always nice. I'm sending you all of mine, and if you want, even a big kiss on the mouth!

Much love to all you. 💋

Peb 💜 🪨 🖊

P.S. I'm considering posting a snippet of The Other Side (which is an Eddie fic). Let me know if you'd enjoy that.

P.P.S. please enjoy this lovely photo of some pretty black flowers I saw on my walk as repayment for your attention.

@mochie85 @lokischambermaid @lokisgoodgirl @little-wormwood @littlestabbyelf @smolvenger @lemongingerart @marcotheflychair @acidcasualties @sweetsigyn @hellfirenacht @leelei1980 @loz-3 @icytrickster17 @loopsisloops @holdmytesseract @josephfakingquinn @elegantkoalapaper @eleniblue @coldnique @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @peaches1958 @sailorholly @thedistractedagglomeration @thenerdyoldersister @use-your-telescope @take-everything-you-can @fairyysoup @lesservillain @azula-karai-27 @lexr86 @alexakeyloveloki @goblingirlsarah @muddyorbs @jennyggggrrr @mischief2sarawr @mischiefmaker615 @the-haven-of-fiction @unlucky-number-13 @gigglingtiggerv2 @ladyofthestayingpower @buttercupcookies-blog @infinitystoner @munson-blurbs @word-wytch @wolfsmom1 @gruftiela @anukulee @mrs-illyrian-baby @morby

[liminalpebble]

Hey hun! I feel like i haven't seen ya around much on Tumblr- i could be wrong, I'm not the most active myself LOL Just doing a wellness check up and seeing if you are okay :)

Aww thanks for checking in, my friend! I miss you. I have been a bit off the grid lately (still lurking though 😄). I've been on a bit of a hiatus for writing Loki and Tom characters, and Eddie. I sort of lost steam.

But!! I have fallen far down the rabbithole of writing a series for Arcane over on AO3 because I am in love with the villian (Silco) to no one's surprise. (And it's all @word-wytch 's fault 🤣 )

I am also working on publishing a collection of artwork, poetry, and short stories (non-fanfic stuff) and it's been eating up a lot of my creative brain power.

If any of y'all are interested in any of these endeavors and wanna chat about art and process or just be thirsty, I'd be happy to discuss over a digital coffee date. (Though I would love one with y'all irl).

But to you and all of my lovies, I miss you! I think I may be overdue for a horny get together on my page, or perhaps an open request box for "love letters from", etc.?

What do y'all think?

Much love,

Peb 💜 🖊 🪨

@acidcasualties @munson-blurbs @smolvenger @muddyorbs @sweetsigyn @ladyofthestayingpower @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @loz-3 @gigglingtiggerv2 @loopsisloops @elegantkoalapaper @goblingirlsarah @thedistractedagglomeration @thenerdyoldersister @word-wytch @peachyjinx @queenofstarsign85 @infinitystoner @glitchquake @jennyggggrrr @unlucky-number-13 @eleniblue @anukulee @lemongingerart @buttercupcookies-blog @litaloni @joyful-enchantress @hellfirenacht @coldnique @mochie85 @leelei1980 @alexakeyloveloki @textsfromthetva

[liminalpebble]

Today I defended a boundary with a "friend" who had treated me badly (if you all remember, this is the one who ruined my birthday).

(This is just personal rambling, so feel free to ignore if you prefer to or need to for yourself. I get it and understand 💜).

She confronted me to chew me out for barely engaging with her or this friend group for the last six months, but I didn't apologize. Frankly, I think I'm right not to, and I think I owe them nothing. They did not treat me well, and I deserve not to be put in a position to be hurt and used up again. Also, I was otherwise busy with living my life, trying to do good work, handling my own shit, and trying not to make my problems anyone else's.

I explained simply and clearly that I don't have the empathetic bandwidth to take care of anyone else right now because my own shit has been, honestly, really difficult. Even so, I'm not putting my problems on anyone, nor am I taking on anyone else's. I can't right now. It's that simple. I wasn't mean. (I think I would have had the right to be, but I wanted to take the high road).

She told me I'm being selfish and acting as if I'm the only one with problems...selfish for not centering her and everyone (which is what they were used to). She told me she doesn't tolerate one-sided relationships. I didn't say it, but all I could think was "you didn't mind it the whole time I was the only one giving."

Anyway, this feels so weird because I'm feeling that shitty uncomfortable fight or flight response from this...but weirdly...not the self-inflicted guilt...(maybe a little guilt for not feeling guilty?) I dunno. I don't know what to do with this feeling. There's anger there, too. Anger that she's misrepresenting events, anger that she's trying to shame and manipulate me. I've never known what to do with anger.

I just wanted to get it off my chest, and to let you all know that I finally stopped being a doormat. Thank you for believing I had it in me. I took it to heart @roach-pizza ❤️ and all of you who encouraged me to stand up for myself. And thank you for listening to me now. It means so much that you all had my back, especially you my irl homegirl (you know who you are ❤️‍🔥)

@sweetsigyn @gigglingtiggerv2 @goblingirlsarah @littlespaceyelf @loz-3 @jennyggggrrr @coldnique @acidcasualties @mochie85 @muddyorbs @smolvenger @ladyofthestayingpower @leelei1980 @hellfirenacht @unfocused81 @loopsisloops @azula-karai-27 @glitchquake @lemongingerart @elegantkoalapaper @alexakeyloveloki @veemoon @lokischambermaid @lokisgoodgirl

[liminalpebble]

I can't stop making these from things I see on my walks.

It's bringing me joy in these dark times. I hope it brings you joy too.

I'm sure you have a good head on your shoulders *badum tissskk*

@sweetsigyn @muddyorbs @goblingirlsarah @gigglingtiggerv2 @smolvenger @ladyofthestayingpower @acidcasualties

[liminalpebble]

My body is a wonderland but in like, the abandoned amusement park with murderous clowns way.