I think I need to get this out of my chest... Don't read this because this could be really disgustingly dramatic...
To my ex who started chatting with me again this month,
I don't know what stupidity came over me that I still even allowed you to talk to me. I quite regret it now. I thought I wouldn't be affected. I thought I wouldn't give a single rat's ass anymore. I thought I'm completely over it.
But when you told me last Tuesday to "stop watching too much Avatar," you did a huge mistake. You triggered something unexpectedly that shouldn't have. HOW DARE YOU tell that to me and then compare yourself to Vharrick and me to Zhu Li! I'm NOT GOING TO BE YOUR FUDGING ZHU LI and NO, I'M NOT GOING TO LEARN YOUR FUDGING THING AND DO THAT THING FOR YOU!
I'd rather be Lin fudging Beifong because compare to you, my career made me happier than you did.
You have no idea what you did to me! I admit that I was so stupid that I actually allowed you to try changing me because I thought you were right. Because I thought you were more mature than me so I thought all the things that you made me do were right! I was so fudging stupid that I thought doing all those things for you to get your approval will make you love me even more and will make you stay! But NO! I was the stupidest girl that time! You left! And I realized that you never really loved me. Maybe you were just using me to ease your loneliness! HOW DARE YOU!!! After this realization and after the break up, my depression got worse! I thought I could fight it! I thought I can bear with it and pretend to live normally! You have no fudging idea how fudging hard it was to try working your ass off despite being depressed, unable to get any sleep at night, having nightmares almost every night, unable to eat to the point that I was skin and bones and I always get sick; I feel like I was the ugliest girl in the world, always feeling frustrated and practically suicidal! You have no idea how much a I struggled to still keep on despite the fudging torment because I cannot lose! I was the fudging breadwinner of the family and they needed me! I got people who looked up at me and I don't want to bring them down despite the feeling of how much I wanted to disappear in this world! I tried to seek help from a therapist but you know what cured me? THE FUDGING AVATAR FANDOM!!! So how fudging dare you tell me to stop watching too much of it!!! Thanks to ATLA, ever since I watched it, I started to gain confidence on myself again! I started to enjoy drawing again and my passion for it returned! I started to be my old self again! I gradually became motivated with my old goals! ATLA art and animation inspired me to become happy of being an artist again. Toph Beifong might just be a fictional character but thanks to her, she inspired to be a better person, she inspired me to be strong and be confident with who I am! And go after what I really want and enrich my talent and skills. Compared to you, you jackass, who did nothing but push me around for your own personal satisfaction!
If I were you, you better go somewhere else and find someone else who would be willing to be your Zhu LI because I won't! Because I'm going to go Beifong and make my mark in the art industry one day! Watch me!
