ask meme: victor + yuuri 5?
[content note for intrusive thoughts and body image issues]5. things you didn’t say at all“You could just ask him why he came,” Phichit says. Yuuri doesn’t have to answer - the look on his face is all it takes for Phichit to add, sighing, “What’s the worst he could say?”
“I can’t believe you thought I was Victor Nikiforov,” Yuuri recites dully. “I’m a serial killer wearing his face and now I’m going to kill your family.”
Phichit makes a small, distressed noise. “Sunshine. Light of my life. Why was that on the tip of your tongue.”
He thinks about the question seriously, later. Not all the time, but over and over again.
You’re pathetic, when he sinks to the lip of the rink and rides out the trembling waves of a failed jump.
Don’t you have any self-control, when his eyes slip from his own dinner to Victor’s.
I’ve shown you a dozen times, when he’s on the ice until dark, falling over and over. Why can’t you do it?
He knows Victor know, though, knows those words would never come out of his mouth. Knows that when he says “What can I get you, what do you need,” and “Have some, you need the calories,” and “It’s okay, let’s try it tomorrow, we have time,” he means it. Yuuri keeps thinking the hypotheticals anyway.
It’s the furthest thing from Phichit’s fault, but he feels bad, thinking about how bad Phichit would feel if he knew. Yuuri’s brain can twist anything with enough work. It’s what it does.
“That looks painful,” Victor murmurs, in the hotel in Okayama. His fingertips skim the edges of Yuuri’s bruised face.
Yuuri blinks, startled. No. That’s not the worst thing Victor could say. That’s the worst thing he could say.
“I think you missed some makeup,” Victor says, in the locker room in Beijing.
“Huh?” Yuuri reaches up and touches his shower-fresh face, as if he could feel any makeup still there. “No, I don’t think so?”
“So you just look good this naturally?” Victor smiles. It’s tentative, slow. “Wow.”
Yuuri smiles back, hums. He’s so tired and so awake at the same time. “Smooth.”
“I do my best.” He brushes Yuuri’s wet hair back. His hand feels unsteady.
I can’t believe I kissed you, rises to the top of Yuuri’s mind, unbidden.
“I can’t believe I kissed you,” Victor says. But out loud, the tone is different. Reverent.
“Do you…” Yuuri swallows. “Want to do it again?”
With a rush of a laugh, Victor closes the distance.