Three excerpts from The Antagonists: Book Seven:
[Context: Minnie, Perry, and Felix travel back in time. It soon becomes clear that being depressed for over a millennium and a half has physically transformed Perry. This is how the Past-Flamels react.]
Finally pushing himself to his feet, Past-Victor cried, “Felix?”
Felix paused and slowly said, “Nooo.”
“Well, who else has golden eyes and is willing to attack me?” Past-Victor asked with a chuckle. “What are you sitting in?”
“It’s a wheelchair, stupid!”
Past-Victor blinked. Minnie suddenly realized that there was only so much that Morgan’s translation spells could do. She was just impressed that the spells held up, even if the sorceress was unable to hold herself up.
“Forget it,” Felix said. “You really recognize me?”
“Well, sure,” his past-brother said. “I recognize both of you.” He stared at Perry for a moment, ultimately smiling with a grace that had faded over the centuries. “Perenelle, that is a lovely dress.”
“Aw, Victor,” Perry said with a sigh. “Thank you.”
Perry knocked into a sorcerer, catching his bowl of blackberries before he fell to the ground. Minnie opened her mouth, about to object to her hurting an innocent bystander, when she realized that the man was nothing of the sort. With his hair black and braided, and his feet planted firmly on the ground, Past-Felix was nearly unidentifiable. Still, his golden eyes sparkled as he leapt to his feet. He spun Perry around, his punch freezing in midair.
“Perenelle?” He staggered backwards with a gasp. “What happened?”
Perry sighed and said, “A lot.”
“None of which is any of your business,” Minnie snapped, in defense of her sister. “So, why don’t you just use your working legs to walk on out of here?”
“Fine,” Past-Felix said, throwing up his hands. “I was just wondering who you killed. I don’t even care that much; I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t Victor.”
“What are you talking about?” Perry asked.
He tilted his head and said, “You always eat blackberries after you kill someone.”
“Oh, I forgot all about that!” Perry let out a small laugh. “No, I haven’t killed anyone. Today. I just saw that you had them and---wait---is that really your only question?”
“Well, I assume you travelled back in time,” Past-Felix said. “I also assume that you can’t talk about it for reasons even more pretentious than I. Most importantly, I assume that I couldn’t stop you, even if I didn’t like the answers you gave, so it renders the whole conversation moot. Anyway, are you going to actually eat my berries or---?”
“You seriously have no comment on how I look?”
“Nooo,” he said, staring over her shoulder, “but I have a comment on how I look. What in the name of Merlin’s magic did I do to my hair?”
Unfortunately, in holding a sword to Past-Nicolas’ throat, Perry inadvertently put her wedding ring just beneath his eyes. Minnie immediately saw the problem. He might not have recognized her but he would have recognized the jewelry.
Still pinned against the wall, Felix choked out: “Uh, Perenelle, I think you just revealed who you are.”
Minnie rolled her eyes and cried, “Well, if she didn’t, you did.”
“Sorry!” He gagged. “Can’t think straight. Can’t do anything straight. Can’t breathe. Pinned to wall. By older brother. Not fun. Wouldn’t recommend. Seriously, Nicolas, knock it off.’
Past-Nicolas didn’t hear him, if only because he had become completely distracted by the woman to his left. Minnie was dismayed to see that he looked shocked, his voice dripping with the same anxious affection that Victor donned whenever she was sick.
“Perenelle, my love?” Past-Nicolas whispered. “What happened?”
It was the same question that Past-Felix had asked but delivered in an entirely different package.
Minnie was about to behead him and destroy the universe, right then and there, when Felix croaked, “On second thought, I can do one thing straight.”
Nicolas turned back just in time to be passionately headbutted.
