#personal motivations

[wardenparker]

Did I spend most of today spontaneously weeping? Yes.

Did I get all of my chores done? Absolutely not.

Will I get up tomorrow and go to work anyway? Yes.

Because there is never a completely zero percent chance that this angel of a human won’t walk through the front door of the museum.

[ready4hillary]

People with personal motivations to attack Brad Geiger hoping to cover up or disprove the fact that some they are associated with are time traveling criminals

[imhnk]

Gonna be honest about one of my weight loss motivators cus I just got a lil notification on my phone ☎️ and warning ⚠️ it’s extremely petty

My friend is still very close with my ex from like ~4 years ago

4 years ago I was underweight, and from photos it was pretty clear that I wasn’t healthy. Now my ex was also very slim, fit, a gym rat so he was muscular, no clue if he was on tret (I don’t think he was) but he was v defined and semi-encouraged my mindset with food cus he had a similar attitude towards his own body.

I’ll see my friend do her club thing maybe once every 2 years, and this last time I went I was just starting to break out of my stress-relief over-eating habits to really start losing weight, so I was down from 185lbs to 160lbs when I went to watch her perform in the same club as my ex.

Of course he’s still very fit, but that’s expected for me cus he was addicted to the gym and was in a very physically active club that takes multiple nights of practice per week. And I kinda felt like whatever, it’s been years and tbh I don’t find him attractive anymore since he changed his haircut and facial hair (not a fan of mullets or mustaches 🥴).

But I couldn’t help but overhear their teammates (his friends not my friends) talk about me and my weight gain. Like very loudly and obnoxiously. Obvs the friends I attended with were very quick to step in, talk over them or reassure me cus they’re aware of my past with an active ED, but it still stung. They were comparing my body to my exs and how my body “went downhill” and that he got out in time.

So yeah a large part of my motivation is to take away the ammo from the people of my past who might want to criticize me now. This includes the family members who want to comment on my body, the friends who notice the differences in my appearance (now ex-friend of mine referred to my body 4 years ago as when I “used to be hot”), and anyone else.

Like I’m not aiming to be underweight, I just want to be slim and fit so they can’t catch low-hanging fruit. People will still have things to say cus I’ll still be bigger than my underweight self, but it’ll be very cognitive dissonance to call me fat and things. Then they’ll have to focus on something else but I’m otherwise successful, so hopefully they just leave me alone instead.

I was 160lbs back in February, 143/2lbs now, aiming for 135lbs by November, so by next February I want to hear SILENCE from those bastards at the banquet. Stopppp talking about meeeee it’s going to be 5 years get over it and let me live in peace with my friendsssss I can’t help it that she’s in the club and loves the team and wants her friends to support her I don’t want to snub her special day just cus my ex is being weird in the corner 😪😪😪😪 like it’s a gigantic room they can all literally choose to just not look at me instead it’s so easy bro

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[vancitylifecoach-blog]

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