What do you do when you end up caring so much for someone most would consider impossible to love? When the person you least expected grows so much on you that you care about him just the same as friends you’ve known for over twenty years? Bucky was someone he’d never expected to get so close to. After all besides knowing Steve there wasn’t any other true connection, and even then Steve and Peter had never truly been close. Now here he was- one of the first people on Peter’s text messages with his own ridiculous ringtone to match.
The first time Bucky had gone missing he’d gone into a panic. Thousand and one horrible scenarios coming to mind; HYDRA got him again, he was dead, dragged off on a mission, kidnapped, what about Alpine? Once James appeared again he’d been seconds from tackling the man, barely stopping by and settling with an awkward bump of his forehead against the man’s chest as his best sign of affection.
In quite a few ways James reminded him of Harry, however not the Harry he knew in High School. But instead the Harry that had made it past the goblin serum, his father’s manipulation and hurdle after hurdle that life had thrown at him in every which way. When Harry eventually accepted Peter back into his life they had to start over. Not just getting to know each other again, but learning how Harry wanted to be loved and what he needed now. At some points Peter ended up frustrated with himself, feeling as though he should be doing more, sometimes not enough, other times too much.
So how do you do it?
You stay up late on the weekends, kitchen table filled with plans, pictures, metal parts and tools thrown around. Pouring over pictures, measuring things four- five times before finally committing. Spending a whole month working on the dumbest project of his career that did not ever need such a level of precision but you’re unwilling to let a single thing be half assed. It’s all worth it the second he presents it to Bucky though. The situation had been so unusual and so fun that Peter doesn’t even realize it until he gets home; that’s the very first smile, a lopsided, genuine grin. He’s overcome with emotions for a moment and finds himself grinning in return; I did that.
You learn one of his preferred treats; pink donut with sprinkles. It’s a nice and fun detail after all, and so easy to pick up and surprise the former soldier with no matter what the time. But knowing them both it wasn’t unusual for it to be around three in the morning. It’s not much, but even the faint smile that’s barely there is more than enough.
Patience is a virtue, one that he’s always struggled with. ADHD has never helped, but he also hates waiting. Some waiting is worth it though, Bucky was that. Getting to a comfortable enough place with each other where sometimes they’d get together just so Alpine and Chewie could spend some time together as well and usually ended with their pets taking a nap in a sunny spot. Or the time that Peter drove an RC car over Bucky’s face while he slept, and one must not forget terrorizing New York City all because Peter refused to answer a question.
With time Peter begins to learn more about what works and what doesn’t, the things that make James pull back into himself and those that draw him out of his shell. Sometimes people just creep up on you and you hardly even notice how great of an impact they bring to your life until it’s so big you can’t ignore it anymore. And that’s exactly how it happened, because before he knows it Bucky sometimes comes to visit him at work and the kids absolutely love it. Stopping in the middle of patrol and meeting up with Bucky somewhere to eat some late dinner. There’s more days with a long haired brunette in his life than without.
The biggest realization comes on a hot June day when they go out together for pride. It’s the first time MJ and Harry get to meet him in person. Peter stepped away for a moment, coming back holding a couple of cold water bottles in his arms. When he spots the three of them in the crowd he can’t help but freeze for a moment. May used to tell him about how she felt when her and Ben were together, and ever since Gwen, his now never having existed marriage and the overall mess of his life he thought that maybe it was something that didn’t happen to anybody. But it wasn’t- because love strictly the romantic kind. Nor the one you felt for your blood family because you were family. But sometimes it was simply what you felt for three people that had all impacted your life in such different ways, people you know you’d do absolutely anything for. Three amazing people that all cared about him despite the mess he was and the crazy situations he tended to drag them into.
He goes back to them and hands them each a bottle, it’s only a matter of time before Mary Jane and Harry end up disappearing into the crowd and he knows it. After all they’ve always been the popular and pretty ones, but for now Peter was more than happy to enjoy the time with some of the people he cared about the most.
@winterrisen