You know I'd been on the fence about how HBO had made Tess a momma before the world went to shit but after she's taken over my mind I think it works well as a way to contrast Joel and put her on equal footing to him in regards to "parental pain" in the apocalypse. Tess, unfortunately, is such a small role that nothing deeper gets to be explored with her and her death, while something that happens early and fast, I think sets a good tone for Joel's flaws later on.
I guess long rant with somewhat headcanons/assumptions of what their pre-show life entailed.
I see a lot of people assume that had Tess lived, she'd have gotten maternal, attached to Ellie and that she'd aid Joel in saving her at the end. I don't really understand that. She's the practical one. "The Brains". Joel's whole schtick is that the end of the world made him terribly codependant. We see it when he's hell bent to get to Tommy and we see it when he lies to Ellie, because he'd do anything to keep his cloth daughter close and dear. He's fiercely loyal and protective to a fault, to the point of smothering someone not aware of it.
This is what Tommy/Maria were warning Ellie of. Tess had enough of a head on her shoulders to control and keep it from strangling her. Its not that he's being intentionally malicious, but his fear of losing the thing he's emotionally dependant on will make him do malicious things. I do fully believe he was a raider/not a good person independent of Tess after things went to shit. Whatever you want to call it, "doing what needed to be done" for his brother/their survival, but he was still willing to kill and more for their protection and to provide.
I think for whatever the complexities of their relationship, being Tess' muscle meant he had his Thing to latch onto once Tommy was gone. "I never asked you to feel the same..." perhaps it wasnt so much that he didnt return her feelings so much as she realized what he did return would never be more than him clinging to a life line, stunted emotionally, and unable to keep a balanced relationship that she wanted. She accepted he couldnt meet the expectation, and he became her dog.
All that to say is when we get to the end of the show, and we see that Joel found "who he can save", we are made to feel warmth in that he and this orphaned girl have found family and hope in each other through all the loss....and while it is good, and I like that Joel will do whatever he needs to for his charge, I think its a mighty injustice to the writing and his character to say it wasn't also driven by a flaw of his that can be a sleeping giant of bad traits.....
But then you look outside of just the story were given, and ask "what if it was Tess who survived" or "What if all three made their way west". I dont think this would have ended with the same (mostly) feel good moment if a torn parent finding a way to love like that again.
Tess is the brains. She is the practical one. She is much more aware. Its needed of her to keep contacts and run smuggling rings inside a QZ. Her demons are different than Joel's, and making her a mother in her backstory allows her to be on the same footing as him when making that journey with Ellie.
We see her warm to Ellie much faster than Joel. I don't think this is simply just "maternal instinct" kicking in. It'd be an injustice to boil their friendly interactions down to such. Tess knows when she needs to be a hardass, but she also knows when she wants to let her guard down and be a person. Ellie is cargo, Ellie is precious, Ellie also realizes what her job is and does not seem to want to bolt now that shes outside. And for that, Tess can see her as some teenager being a teenager, and because Tess hasnt entirely walled off her humanity, she jokes and talks with this kid before they make the agreed upon hand off. Its not maternal at this point, it is simply beating the time while doing business.
In this, Tess' demons are different. She does not emotionally wall herself off and then cling to the one person she formed a relationship with. She's much more emotionally aware. She's intelligent. Her dying wish is that Joel does something worth while for once, for the both of them. "We're shitty people"/"We're not good people" seems this sits on her mind.
I think Tess is aware what the end of the world has made of her, and not only does she regret it I believe she also resents how well she slid into this role. She survives, and it is just that. Even if she can smile still, she wants more. We see it with her friendship with Bill and Frank. We see it in the line implying she wanted more with Joel. Instead she realizes the best she can do in this world is a raider and smuggler with a partner who is as close to good enough in this world as she's going to get.
I think if Tess survived instead of Joel the ending would be simple. She takes Ellie west, she gets attached to this witty orphaned girl, becomes protective of her, and feels something more for the first time since the world ended.....
And when they reach the fireflies, she gives Ellie away.
This had gone from a business deal with protected cargo to a shepherd leading his sacrifical lamb (even if Tess never thought this to be literal). I think despite her being sure in her decision, Tess lives the rest of her days hoping to hear news of a cure. Without success this was just another selfish act, an endeavor to make her feel better and redeemed. Hope and good deeds clouding her judgement when she should have listened to her gut screaming to save this child. If there is no cure, not even a direction for obtaining one, then another innocent life was taken by her direct action.
I think worse however is if Tess and Joel both survive to the end. They both bond with Ellie, they see more in each other, flashes of the past are more vibrant now. The feeling is strong, but like that of a phantom limb...
Joel's attachment becomes an issue. I feel like Tess would have anticipated this, but not anticipate that Ellie would have to die for a cure. She certainly would not anticipate that Joel would bite her hand.
HBO canon states she killed her husband when the world ended. Joel could never fill those shoes, but it didnt make the action any easier. In this, Tess' story has come full circle. She kills her partner and cannot do right by the child shes come to love dearly.
Only this time the emptiness and pain feels different. Back when the world ended she didnt know if she would survive. But its decades into the apocalypse, she's become a survivor and quite good at it, but now she's not entirely certain she wants to.
