pairing → zuko x gn!reader
a/n → rising from the dead because i watched a play and took photos with the main cast as they exited backstage. couldn't help but think of the gaang actor au but they're theater actors. in my experience, being nice is sooooo attractive. also i headcanon zuko having dynamic smile lines. this is my first time writing for him alone btw so please be nice. might be ooc, but cmon, zuko isn't always grumpy especially when he's with his fans Right...
proofread? → n. (heavy on this)
the entire month-long show was sold out but you were lucky enough to secure tickets with a friend.
as most people do, they linger in the halls after the show was over, hoping to secure some autographs and selfies with the cast.
after a good 20 minutes, the main leads began to take their leaves through the exit door.
katara was known to avoid public appearances right after the show so she left very discretely.
as for aang and sokka, they'd always exit together, eager to meet the fans and do their service.
toph liked to have all the attention to herself so she exits solo, ready for all the photos (fans know she's visually impaired so they don't often ask for autographs, pictures are enough. its also been a trend to get her to say random ass phrases like "michael cheese hairy" yk shit like that).
as for zuko, BOY. it would've been a big case of allegations to say you weren't enraptured him.
so cute. literally so endearing the entire play.
he tries his best to look like he's crashing out or frustrated but even with his head in his hands, he's adorable.
obviously he became an audience-favorite by the time it was curtain call, eliciting a slightly louder cheer from the girls.
he was still new to this whole acting thing but he's worked in the industry and was known as a writer for the most part.
after you snapped some photos with toph and said thank you's and congratulations, she immediately laughed.
"oh look, zuko's here now," knowingly to the group of girls surrounding her. she could practically feel them vibrating from the excitement of getting to meet their favorite actor of the night.
you were no different.
these things were like warfare. you had to assert yourselves otherwise you'd be lost in a sea of bags bumping into your shoulders and people stepping next to your target while you have to wait awkwardly for your turn.
safe to say, people got to him before you. they held their phones out while your embarrassment and shyness continued to gnaw at the bars of the cage you wrestled them into.
when the space around him was clear, you took the chance.
"could i take a photo with you please?" you politely asked, pointing to your phone because you never knew how to approach a person smoothly in these circumstances.
his smile was radiant. if it weren't for reality, you probably would've been blasted off with a big boom and into the far, opposite wall.
"of course," he Smiled. his hands were politely folded (and you were Respectfully looking at his veins) in front of him as he smiled at your phone.
the first take as a bit blurry and at an awkward angle so you tilted the camera upward for a better shot.
it was way too endearing--how polite he acted.
when you brought your phone down, you asked him to sign your ticket next.
you lent him your pen as you watched him scribble away. when he handed these two things back to you, he was still smiling.
if it weren't for reality, you would've been blinded by the light of the angel right in front of you.
you gave your share of thank you's and congratulations and when he said this gratitude back, he bowed slightly to your eye level.
he was still smiling but much closer to you now. faces only a few inches apart and his hands which were once folded at the front were now resting on the base of his spine.
was that deliberate?
you shook yourself out of that trance in a few milliseconds to give way for the next group. you couldn't help but let your gaze linger on him even when you had turned away already.
you spoke to your friend, "i think we zinged"
"like hotel transylvania zinged?"
"yeah"
"no flipping way"
“icl, you have a point. he was smiling. like crazy”
safe to say you immediately followed him and the REST OF THE CAST on instagram because he's/they're a Public Figure/s anyway and had amassed a decent following from theater industry icons to other important people in the circle.
amidst your stories of aesthetic photos from the night, you made an exception to post a story of your selfie with him and a short message about the show.
of course you tagged his account.
of course he replied to your story.
and the rest was history.
really sorry about the long ass a/n in the beginning! i really needed to get this off my mind otherwise i'd die with the delusions of a Minute crush i had on one of the actors i saw in a play very recently
Pairing: Fire Lord Zuko x F Reader and Avatar Aang x F Reader
Chapter Prologue: Zuko and Reader spend their second night together. About a week later the team is set to leave the Fire Nation Palace and return to Cranefish Town. Reader has one more talk with Aang and finally has a conversation with Katara.
Warnings this chapter: explicit smut, f*ngering, oral s*x (f receiving) unprotected s*x, p in v s*x, arguing, guilt, heart break
A/N: This is an 18+ story. So MDNI.
Individual lines or words that are in cursive are thoughts unspoken.
Also note that English is not my first language. So I apologise in advance for any mistakes, I really try to proofread everything. But mistakes do happen. If you see some, I don’t mind if you point them out to me.
Please don’t copy my work. A lot of time and effort went into it.
As promised, he came. The palace had long gone quiet and all our friends and Zuko’s family had retired for the evening.
Then I heard it; a soft scrape of stone against stone. I looked towards the wall. Earlier in his study, Zuko had told me where the opening would be, at what time he would come for me and where I could wait for him. The wall shifted almost imperceptibly and a narrow opening appeared. He stepped through it and his eyes scanned the corridor. No guards in sight, as expected. The door instantly closed behind him; it hid itself again, leaving no trace that it had ever existed. I quietly stepped out of the shadows where I had been waiting.
“There you are.” He smiled shyly at me as he closed the distance between us and he offered me his hand. I eagerly accepted it. His thumb brushed across the back of my hand before he turned toward the wall. “Come on.” His free hand reached for a lantern. He rotated it slowly, revealing the mechanism. Zuko rested his palm against the engraved metal disc and a faint orange glow spread beneath his skin as controlled heat flowed into the ancient device. For a heartbeat, nothing happened. But then, somewhere deep inside the walls, gears started moving before the wall slowly retreated, revealing a narrow passage hidden inside the palace itself.
He led me inside. The air changed immediately; it was cooler beneath the palace. With a small movement of his fingers, Zuko summoned a flame into his free hand. The flame lit the way, its glow dancing across the narrow corridor as we walked. Neither of us spoke; there was no need to. But anticipation grew with each step. His hand never left mine and every few steps, his thumb absentmindedly traced circles over my knuckles, as though he wasn’t even aware he was doing it. I smiled to myself every time I left his thumb brush against my skin. He had always been far more affectionate than he seemed willing to admit.
The passage curved gently before opening onto another concealed doorway. Without releasing my hand, he placed his free palm against a second hidden mechanism. Once again, warmth spread beneath his skin. The ancient lock answered him as stone glided soundlessly aside. This time it revealed his bedroom. The hidden entrance lay beside the right-hand side of his bed. The side, he had confessed with a surprising seriousness, was his side. The thought still made me smile. We stepped inside together and behind us, the wall quietly slid back into place. The soft click of the mechanism echoed through the room before silence settled once more. Only then did he stop walking, but he still hadn't let go of my hand. For a long moment, neither of us spoke. We simply stood there, looking at one another. Moonlight peaked through the curtains and it softened the sharp lines of his face. Loose strands of hair had escaped his topknot. His golden eyes searched mine with a mixture of certainty and disbelief, as though some part of him still couldn't quite believe I had chosen him.
I moved closer and my hand reached up. One hand rested on his golden headpiece, the other on the pin securing it. I pulled out the pin and lifted the ornament from his head.
“So…” I whispered. “Now you are just Zuko again.” He tenderly smiled. I turned around and placed the headpiece on the same low table he had placed it on last night. Without really noticing it, he had moved to follow me. When I turned around, he was already there. I bumped against his strong broad chest. It was warm and solid beneath my palms. For a heartbeat neither of us moved.
“I have thought about you all day.” His voice was barely above a whisper. His breath was already hitched. “I have thought about you during every meeting.” He scanned my face and his eyes were darkening gradually. “I have thought about this throughout the entire dinner.”
“Is that why you barely looked at me?”
“I was afraid that if I did…” His fingers found my chin and this thumb brushed over my lower lips, dragging it slightly down. “I wouldn’t have been able to hide all that I want to do to you.” He tilted my head back, just enough so more of my neck was exposed. “I spent the whole day imagining this...” His head moved down; his lips hovering over my skin and his hot breath fanning my skin. My own breath caught instinctively, something twisted in my stomach. “What I would do to you the moment I got you to myself again.” His lips finally made contact with my skin. His hands fell to my hips. The heats of his palms radiating through the fabric of my tunic and robes. He was creating an upward trail. By the time his lips reached my jaw, his hands on my hips gripped tighter and he pulled my flush against him. My heart fluttered.
“And what is that?” I whispered between breaths. At first, he was too invested to continue the trail of kisses he was creating. His hand moved up, cupping my breast through the fabric. Then, he looked up, his golden eyes seemed to be burning.
“Let me show you.” He whispered. He was following his own hands as they reached for my belt. He easily unclipped it. Then, they moved up as he grabbed the edges of my robes and pushed them over my shoulders. His fingers glided down to the hem of my tunic. He wanted to lift it up but I stopped him.
“Kiss me first.” His eyes back on me. I didn’t have to ask twice, he eagerly leaned forward and his lips found mine with a tenderness that lasted only a heartbeat before all the restraint he had carried throughout the day melted away. He was hungry, like he couldn’t wait to do all the things he wanted to do to me.
I too had been thinking about him all day; about the way he looked that morning, about how passionately he had kissed me before we shared a reluctant goodbye, about the promise that tomorrow, we wouldn't have to rush. Now, with his arms around me once more, it finally felt as though time wasn’t our enemy.
I pushed back against his chest, I wasn’t going to let him have the upperhand. He didn’t stand his ground, he let me push him toward the wall behind. It was now my turn to undo him off his belt and sash. He moved his shoulders just enough away from the wall as I glided his robes down. Our lips still connected, tongues occasionally fighting for dominance. His hands reached for the hem of my tunic again. This time I didn’t stop him as he lifted the fabric, my arms reached up. He broke the kiss so that the tunic could slip over my head. He threw it on the floor. Both of us were catching our breaths. Then, without warning his hands were on the back of my thighs and he lifted me up, turning us around so my back was now against the wall as I wrapped my legs around his hips. It was now my body that was trapped between him and the cold stone behind me. His lips instantly found my breast and he licked over my nipple, it immediately hardened. He sucked at the swell of my breast. I let out a whimpered moan. His hands weren’t staying in the same place for long, they were roaming every inch of my bare upper body, before they settled on my ass cheeks. The same can be said about his lips. It felt like his lips had grazed every inch of my skin, before they were back on mine.
I had let him do what he wanted to. Simply because I wanted it, but now I wanted some control back. So I rolled my hips hard against his. He moaned into my mouth. My own heat throbbing at the friction. My fingers slipped into his hair. Tugging it ever so slightly as I rolled against him once more. I felt his length twitch against my core. I loved to feel what I was doing to him, so I grinded against him again and I didn’t stop until he turned around and with a frustrated groan he laid me on the bed.
“Spirits...” He lowered his body onto me and breathed the word against my lips. “Are you really so needy?” My arm reached down. Placing my hand over his long, hardened erection. I put a bit more pressure on it and I felt it twitch involuntarily through the fabric. Zuko groaned against my skin.
“It seems I am not the only one.” He didn’t protest. Instead, he sat up and pulled his tunic over his head. I watched him closely. I looked at the muscular lines over his chest and abdomen. He pulled off his boots and then he hooked his fingers under the waistband of his trousers. My gaze lowered from his chest to where at any moment now his erection would spring free. I licked my lips and bit my lower lip in anticipation. I heard him chuckle and my eyes snapped back to meet his. He tilted his head, licking his own lips. It was as though he was contemplating whether or not to continue undressing.
“You better not stop now.” He smiled and a second later he bent down. Trousers at his feet, kicking them away. “Good.” I cooed. “Now do me.” I lifted one leg. It didn’t take long before my shoes, trousers and panties were abandoned somewhere on the floor.
He turned around and grabbed a ribbon from a table. He gathered all his hair together into a bun and tightly secured all of it with the ribbon. He did it with more care than he had the previous night. Watching him create the knot, aroused me. I watched him carefully and I couldn’t help but bite my lower lip again.
When he stood back at the edge of the bed, I expected him to crawl over me again, but instead he fell to his knees and he grabbed the back of thighs and he pulled me close to the edge of the bed. I gasped by the suddenness of it all. He threw my legs over his shoulder as his lips made contact with my inner thighs. I gripped the sheets in one of my hands. I looked at him, his eyes meeting mine before he looked directly into my already wet core. Seeing a man like Zuko drop to his knees like that… That alone could have made me cum.
“You have no idea what a beautiful sight this is.” His lips kept hovering over it, his hot breath fanning over it. The anticipation was killing me. I slightly moved my hips up, just enough for him to get the message. His lips made contact with my clit. First his tongue moved over it and then he sucked on it. His fingers moved between my folds. Every sensation earned him a sound from me. One finger went in first, pumping it in and out. He curled it slightly, already knowing exactly where my sensitive spot was hidden.
"Argh… Zuko.” I breathed out his name as my head shot up. His eyes met mine, his lips still sucking my clit. His big, strong hand was pinning my hips down.
“You are soaking wet.” He said as his lips parted from my clit and as he pumped a second finger in me.
“I know.” My breath hitched as he placed more kisses on my inner thighs and worked his fingers more quickly in and out of me, reaching deeper. “What are you going to do about it?” He gasped against my skin as the question surprised him.
“Fuck… Everything.” When he pulled them out completely, I was aching from the sudden loss of contact.
“Prove it.”
“Glady.” His mouth made contact with my core. He licked me up and down before his tongue slipped in me. I wanted to roll my hips at the sudden sensation of his tongue in me, but Zuko’s hand prevented my hips from moving. So instead my back arched and I squeezed my eyes shut as I let out another moan. His nose created more friction as it brushed over my clit. I felt every muscle in my body tense up.
“Zuko… I… I.” Words failed me as I was completely lost in his tongue moving inside me and his nose rubbing against my clit. My head pushed hard down into the mattress, his silk sheets tightly held between my fingers. I clenched my walls together. It wouldn’t be much longer before I reached my climax. Zuko withdrew for a moment, just long enough to speak.
“Look at me.” I had to use every bit of strength to lift my head, I met his gaze. “Keep looking at me.” His tongue moved between my walls, nose rubbing against me. Our eyes remained locked while I was whimpering out sounds. My wall clenched again and then I felt my release approaching. My legs tensed up, slightly squeezing his head. That earned me a hum from him, which vibrated through me. My lips parted, my breathing rapid and irregular. A shiver ran through me and anticipation coiled low in my stomach before it released. I moaned loud as my orgasm washed over me. I had to break eye contact as my head crashed into the mattress. Zuko didn’t move away. He kept dragging his tongue through me, catching every drop of me with his tongue.
When he was sure he had caught it all, he moved up from his knees. He had a satisfied expression on his face. His face was glistening as his nose, mouth and chin were coated with my slickness. He bent over, his hands resting on either side of me. I crawled backwards until my legs were resting on his bed, giving him the opportunity to cover my whole body with his. His chest rested against mine, his legs slightly propped up between mine.
“You taste amazing.” He whispered as he looked directly into my eyes. I reached my hand up, gripping his jaw and I gently pulled his face down. When he was hovering over me I gave a singular lick over the skin near his mouth. I tasted bitterness and saltiness. The bitterness was mine, the saltiness was Zuko’s sweat. He smiled down at me and then he kissed me.
A moment later, I flipped our bodies over so I could pin him down between my thighs. Zuko was a strong man, he could have easily stopped me from turning us over, but he let me. He was looking very pleased at the sight of me on top of him. His hands brushed over my thighs. I ran my own hands over his chest and then my fingers brushed over the lines of his toned muscles of his lower abdomen. The farther my fingertips trailed down, the more his breath hitched. His eyes darted between my eyes and my fingers. I looked down to where our body touched, just above my core laid his length. Long and hard. The tip swollen, pre-cum leaking from it. Zuko’s breath caught the second my fingers made contact with him. I stroked it a few times, slowly moving my hands up and down his shaft. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he hit the mattress hard. He bit his lip, trying to contain any and all sounds. But the moment my thumb swiped over his tip, he let out a loud moan and his eyes shot open. I smiled contentedly. I moved a bit higher as I repositioned myself so my core would align with his length. I propped myself up, just enough so that his tip brushed over every sensitive part of my core. I guided it toward my entrance. I looked at Zuko, who looked like he could barely keep it together. I teasingly moved his shaft once more up and down my folds, just to see his reaction. He bucked his hips ever so slightly, almost losing his restraint. His eyes met mine.
“Please…” It was barely audible. I bit my lower lip to see how undone he was. I lowered myself, letting his tip slwowly slide into me. I gave myself time to adjust before I sunk farther down. When my core made contact with his hips, he was buried so deep inside me that I could feel his tip kissing my cervix.
“Ah… You are so deep in me.” I whimpered at the sensation. His eyes were hungry, I knew he wanted me to move. But restraint and care won.
“Are you okay?” He asked softly as his hands moved up and down my thighs. The gesture so gentle. I nodded.
“I am.” And with that I started rolling my hips. First slowly, making sure I felt every sensation inside me; I felt him twitch, I felt him swell even more, I felt every vein throbbing against my tight walls. After my walls adjusted to him more, I sped up. The sway of my hips became more intense. His fingers dug into the skin of my thighs. I wouldn’t be surprised if bruises would be visible the next morning. I looked at the dark spots on his collarbone, marks made my me the night before. They clearly stood out against his lighter skin.
My hands left his chest, one of them rose to cup my own breast, kneading it between my fingers. His darkened eyes on me. My other hand was on its way to my clit. But before I could reach it, Zuko moved. Without warning he pushed his own hips up. I gasped at the sudden impact. He propped himself up, his chest now flush against mine. His arms secured tightly around my waist. One of my hands moved to the nape of his neck, my fingers already tangled with the loose strands of hair. My other hand moved to his shoulder blades. He buried his head in the crook of my neck, sucking at the skin. Then, he dipped lower, sucking the sensitive skin around my nipple, all the while still thrusting in me. I let my head fall back, eyes shut as I couldn’t stop sounds escaping me.
“It is my job to touch you.” He said between breaths. “It is my job to pleasure you.” Each of his motions were so deep, each thrust moved over my sensitive spot, it didn’t take long before I felt that familiar feeling again. I scratched my nails on his shoulder. He hissed in response but it only seemed to spur him on even more. The thrusts became quicker and somehow even deeper. My breasts were bouncing along with the rhythm of each thrust.
“Ah. Zuko. Please. Don’t. Stop!” My words interrupted each time he pumped into me. Then my whole body started trembling, my head fell onto his shoulder as I moaned loudly against his skin. I felt my own cum dripping over his length. He let me ride it out for as long as he could, whilst my walls clamped around him. Then his hand settled on my hips, quickly lifting me from his erection. Then a moment later he moaned as thick white strands of cum left him and landed on his abdomen as his hand moved up and down his shaft.
He was panting heavily, we both were. He looked at me, a very pleased smile on his face, then he let his body fall flat on the mattress and I joined him. His chest was rising and falling quickly. I brushed a strand of hair from his face, damp with sweat. Then I moved my fingers to his scarred cheek. The skin rougher than any other inch of his body. I slowly swiped my thumb from left to right, then I turned his head so he was facing me. With the little energy I still had left in my body, I propped up and kissed his lips. It was a sweet, soft and tender kiss, the contrast was big compared to everything that happened before it. He smiled against my lips, which earned him another peck.
“I am going to clean myself up.” He muttered against my lips and he rolled away from me. “I will be right back.” In the meantime, I gathered the sheets around me, pulling them beneath my chin before sinking back into the pillows. The moment my head touched the mattress, exhaustion washed over me. Every muscle in my body relaxed and my eyelids grew heavier with each passing heartbeat.
When he came back he stood at the edge of the bed for a moment. “You are lying on my side.” The words were spoken with such quiet seriousness that I couldn't help smiling. I answered with nothing more than a sleepy hum. My heavy eyelids were struggling to remain open. “Just this once…” The corners of his mouth lifted. The mattress dipped beneath his weight as he climbed onto the bed and he lowered his body. A quiet chuckle escaped him. “I will let you get away with it.” His voice was warm with amusement, carrying the kind of affectionate resignation that told me he wasn’t nearly as bothered as he pretended to be. He slipped beneath the covers before wrapping an arm around my waist, drawing me gently against him. Without thinking, I nestled closer and my head found its place against his chest. His heartbeat was slow and steady beneath my ear and his warmth radiated onto me. I instinctively melted into his embrace, unable to stop the sleepy smile tugging at my lips.
"Remember..., tomorrow is my free day.” He murmured quietly. “So we can sleep for as long as we want and you don’t have to leave before dawn.” His fingers traced slow circles against my side. “We have the whole day to ourselves.” A contented sigh escaped me. And as I closed my eyes to drift into a sweet slumber, I was already picturing the morning. Waking up with sunlight spilling through the curtains instead of darkness. Feeling the warmth of his arms still around me. Opening my eyes to find him still beside me. Lying on his chest as we would speak about anything and everything. Stealing kisses between those conversations. No reluctant goodbyes before the palace woke up. Doing everything we had done this evening all over again.
“That sounds wonderful.” I whispered.
“It does.” His voice was beginning to soften with sleep. A comfortable silence settled over us. I was listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat as he continued to brush his fingers over my skin. Then he spoke again. “Goodnight, dearest.” He murmured. There it was once more… It was the second time he called me that, yet hearing it in the quiet darkness, spoken so gently and so naturally, made something inside me soften. I smiled against his chest. In response, his arms tightened ever so slightly around me.
Two weeks had passed since we returned the taken children to their parents. We spent these weeks enjoying some time off. We enjoyed the luxury of staying at the palace and our time here passed quicker than I had expected.
In the meantime, I had seen the stolen glances between Zuko and Y/N, the little smiles, the knowing looks, the fact that for some time she had slipped from her bedroom at night and that Zuko had come to pick her up and that he escorted her back in the morning. The first time I felt her leaving was almost a week ago. I had no idea for how long it had been going on, but I could guess. I remembered the conversation I had with Zuko when he apologised for not preparing for our meeting. Telling me he was tired and therefore went to bed early. Maybe he had been tired, but that was definitely not the reason he stopped working early… She was. Then, he proceeded to say how he had one of the best sleeps in a long time. Sure he had… He had her in his arms throughout the night. Although the thought of them in his bed hurt, it hurt more that he hadn’t just been more truthful. But would I have told him plainly if the roles were reversed? Perhaps... Perhaps not.
Tomorrow morning we would leave the palace again. I had packed my bag earlier today. Most of the others also had packed what little we had brought.
Sokka had found his way to the kitchen, probably trying to convince the staff to let him take enough food for the journey. Most likely wanting to bring a big stack of honeyflame pancakes. Katara had disappeared to the stables to make sure Appa would be ready at dawn. Toph was probably making some guards question their career choices. Suki had remained in her room, packing.
I had slipped away. I wandered the corridors without any real destination. I looked at the art on the wall. Servants bowed politely and I returned each greeting with a smile. The guards straightened as I walked by.
When I reached the library, I slowed my steps. The doors stood open, revealing one of the quietest places in the entire capital. It stretched over two floors, lined with towering shelves carved from dark wood. Each shelf packed with scrolls and books collected over generations of Fire Lords. Tall windows let the sun spill across the polished wooden floors. I looked through the room and I saw her.
Y/N stood on one of the rolling ladders, reaching for a book tucked high on the shelf. One hand steadied her against the ladder, while the other stretched toward the spine of a book, but it was just beyond her reach. Her attention was entirely on the shelf above her, unaware of me for another moment.
“Do you need help?” She looked down, startled for only a heartbeat before her expression softened.
“Aang.” She smiled at me.
“I am taller than you.” I said, folding my arms in front of me as I leaned against the doorframe. She shot me an amused look before rising onto her toes and grabbed the book.
“No need.” She held it up triumphantly. “I got it.” I laughed as she climbed gracefully back down, tucking the book beneath her arm. I pushed myself away from the doorway and started walking toward her.
“I am guessing you are staying?”
“I am.” There wasn’t a trace of uncertainty in her voice. The realisation of leaving her behind and not seeing her everyday was strange. We had spent every day together for almost seven months. We worked hard on restoring the Air Temples. We cooked, laughed, argued and laid together; she was the one constant over that time. But tomorrow, I would leave and she would stay. I let out a slow breath before offering a small smile.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being somewhat subtle.” A faint laugh escaped her. “To be fair… You have been better at it than Zuko.”
“We tried.”
“I know.”
“Sokka knows.”
“I know that too.” She looked up, surprise flickered across her face for a brief moment. “He came to talk to me.” I explained.
“Of course he did.” A fond smile tugged at her lips. “I sometimes wonder… whether he realises he is the glue between all of us?” I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Please don't ever tell him that. He will be far too pleased with himself.” That earned another laugh from both of us, the sound echoing softly between the towering shelves. When it died down, I looked at her. “Does he make you happy?” The question came out quieter than I had intended. She didn’t reply immediately, instead, a smile tugged at her lips before words could come out. The smile softened every feature of her face.
“He does.” She looked down for a moment, almost shy. “He really does.” A faint blush colored her cheeks as she thought of him. “I really love him.” Something inside me tightened. She had never spoken about me like that nor had she ever smiled like that when she thought about me. Her words were painful, but I swallowed the ache before it could reach my face. Instead, I smiled, because she deserved that much from me.
“I am glad.” I meant it. I wanted her to be happy, even if another part of me wished those words hadn’t quite hurt so much. “Have you told him that?” She hesitantly bit her lower lip as she looked at me with those beautiful eyes. Then, she quietly shook her head.
“No.”
“Tell him.” I smiled at her. “He will be beside himself.” Without thinking, I reached out and brought my hand to her cheek. It was almost an instinctive movement, my hand had done it countless of times. My thumb caressed her cheek and for a moment neither of us moved. But then I realised what I was doing. My heart lurched and I pulled my hand away immediately, letting it fall to my side. “I…” Heat crept up the back of my neck and I quietly cleared my throat. “Sorry.” Her expression never changed. There was no discomfort, there was only kindness in her eyes.
“You don’t have to apologise.”
“I do.” My eyes darted to the floor, before meeting her eyes again. “Old habits…”
“They die hard.”
“Yes.” She stayed quiet for a moment. She lowered her eyes to the book in her hands, her fingertips tracing the worn lettering on its cover. She was fidgeting. She always did that when she was nervous.
“Do you really think I should tell Zuko?” Her voice barely above a whisper.
“I do.”
“But he already knows how I feel about him. Same as I know he loves me.”
“I don’t think he has any doubts about what you feel for him. But hearing it… that is different.” She looked back down to the book.
“I don’t know why I am suddenly all nervous just thinking about it.”
“Because it matters.” I smiled at her. “It will matter to him too.” She returned the smile and then silence settled between us. I looked around the room and I could picture her here months from now. Curled up beside one of the windows with a book balanced on her knees. Some she would read simply because she loved stories, while others because she wanted to understand the nation she had chosen to stay in. It suited her.
“Aang?” Her voice brought me back to look at her. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.” She hesitated before she looked straight at me.
“Are you… really okay?” I stiffened for a moment. I hadn't expected this question. I looked down at the floor before lifting my eyes again.
“I will be.” It was the truest answer I could give. She swallowed in response. I could see a flash of guilt across her face. “Don’t worry about me.” My voice was gentle but she still looked unconvinced. “It has only been two weeks.” I gave a small shrug. “Some things need more time to heal.” I confessed. Without a word, she reached for my hand. Her fingers slipped around mine and there was a comfortable silence lingering between us.
‘Maybe it is okay that I lost you in this life. Maybe this wasn’t the one where we were meant to stay together.’ I thought to myself. ‘Maybe in the lifetime after this, we would get another chance. And I hope that in that lifetime, I will find you first and never let you go.’ The soft brush of her thumb over the back of my hand, drew me back to the library. I smiled at her, I looked at our intertwined hands and I squeezed hers lightly.
“I wish nothing but the best for you.” My eyes met hers again. “I will always want to see you happy. And if he makes you smile like that…” I gestured toward her face. “Then I am grateful you found each other.” That made her smile return widely again.
“I think…” She said quietly. “I think I will tell him tonight.”
“You should.” I nodded. “But for now… How about one last sparring session with me before I leave you?” She smiled teasingly at me and she lifted her eyebrows.
“You want me to kick your ass again.” I laughed freely.
“Not this time.” I winked as I turned towards the door. “Today…” I glanced back over my shoulder. “...it is my turn to kick yours.” With a gesture of my arm, I beckoned her to follow me. “Come on.”
I stayed behind on the training grounds after Aang left. Our sparring session had ended some time ago, and while I wouldn’t say that he kicked my ass, he had beaten me more times than I had managed to beat him. He walked away victorious, while I stayed behind to train some more.
I had always hated losing. It didn’t matter whether that was a sparring session or a game of Pai Sho. So right now, I was making sure I corrected the mistakes I made earlier. Another blast of air exploded from my palms making the nearest training dummy shudder beneath the force before splintering apart. Fragments of wood scattered across the courtyard. My feet barely touched the stone as I moved. I was turning, spinning, twisting. I was basically dancing around the courtyard. Each movement followed my gusts of wind.
From the corner of my eye, I caught movement. Katara. She stopped for a moment in the shadow of the archway before making her way toward the benches. We hadn’t really spoken since Cranefish Town. Sure we had exchanged words, pleasantries, goodmornings and goodnights, the occasional question over dinner. But we hadn’t really talked.
My movements slowed until I stopped moving all together, the wind around me faded. Katara sat on the nearest bench beside the towel and glass of water a servant had thoughtfully left for me. I walked over and stopped in front of her.
“Katara.” My way of greeting her as I picked up the glass and gulped it down.
“Have you already packed?” She spoke as I sat down next to her. I wiped the sweat from my forehead away with the towel.
“No. I am staying.”
“You are staying?” Her eyebrows drew together. “Why?”
“Because Zuko invited me to stay.” I folded the towel between my hands. “But mostly because I want to.” I looked out across the empty courtyard.
“So you are not coming back with us to Cranefish Town?”
“No, I am not.” She looked at the ground, a sadness washing over her.
“Is it because of what happened?”
“No.”
“I thought you and Aang had worked things out.”
“We have.”
“But?”
“Nothing. We are alright.” I looked out across the courtyard instead of at her. “But that doesn’t mean we are getting back together or that I am following him back to Cranefish Town or an Air Temple.”
“Why not?” She asked quietly. “He loves you. I know he does.” The confession hurt her.
“I…” I stared at the towel in my hands, trying to find the right words. “Whatever Aang and I had… it is a closed chapter. And I have forgiven him for everything that has happened. I will always care for him. But we are just friends again.” The courtyard fell silent for a moment. She drew a deep breath.
“And we?” She looked at me nervously as she spoke quietly. “Are we still friends?” The question twisted something inside me. I closed my eyes for a second.
“I don’t know, Katara.” I felt frustration brewing deep inside me. “You never apologised. You have never apologised for what you did. Not to me at least.” The words were quiet, but they hurt me a lot. She was my friend, but she hadn’t treated me like one. I looked at her, but she was avoiding my gaze.
“I know.” Guilt spread across her face almost instantly. “Since we got back to the palace, I kept telling myself every morning that this was the day I would. But the more time passed, the harder it was to bring it up and say the words.” She looked at me, our eyes finally meeting. “But I am sorry. I am truly sorry for what I put you through.” The words were spoken quietly, but they were real. “For what I put Aang through.” Her gaze drifted back to the courtyard in front of us. “I was scared. I thought…” Her voice cracked slightly. “I thought if I disappoint him somewhere along the line… If I couldn’t give him what he wanted…” She shook her head. “I couldn’t bear to even think about that.” She let out a deep breath as though the honesty of the words released something deep within her. “And sending him to you was just an easy way out... It was cowardly.” She laughed bitterly. “But I had convinced myself that I was actually helping him. I told myself I was sacrificing my own happiness for his.” Her gaze dropped to the floor as she whispered her confessions. “But really… I was protecting myself.” The honesty caught me off guard for a moment. “And by doing so, I hurt him… And used you.” The words hung in the air. “I have made such a mess of everything.” Her voice laced with regret. She rubbed at the corner of one eye before a tear could fall.
“That you have.” I didn’t soften the answer. “I can’t pretend that what happened didn’t hurt. Because it did.” I tried to keep my voice calm, but frustration was again building up within me. “You know what hurt the most?” She looked up. “You involved me without a second thought for my feelings. You dragged me, your friend, into something without even thinking about what it could cost me.” She lowered her head, unable to look at me, eyes locked on the floor. “It was as though our friendship meant nothing to you.”
“No, Y/N…”
“No.” I shook my head and I rose to my feet. She instinctively looked up at me as I came to stand in front of her. “You don’t get to interrupt this.” She fell silent immediately. “You know what... I was happy.” My voice cracked ever so slightly. “I was genuinely happy with him.” I thought about Aang. “Your plan, that neither of us wanted to be a part of, brought us happiness.” I let out a humorless laugh. “And then it nearly destroyed us.” I met her eyes. “Our bond, our friendship, the trust between us.” She was holding back her tears. “That was your doing.” She flinched. “And it took you this long to come and see me. This long for you to come and apologise.” Her shoulders trembled.
“I know.” The words barely rose above a whisper. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness.” She wiped a tear away with the back of her hand, only for fresh ones to replace it. “Like I said…, I kept telling myself every morning I would talk to you. And every evening I hated myself because I hadn’t.” She closed her eyes for a moment. “But it was hard.”
“Doing the right thing usually is. But that doesn’t mean it is not worth doing.” She nodded, unable to defend herself. “Because the alternative is that you would lose me as a friend.” Her head lifted to finally look at me again. “Is that what you want?”
“No.” Her response came quick, there was no hesitation. “I was selfish and scared. And because of that…” Her voice broke completely. “I did something that could make me lose you.” Silence settled between us. This time, I let it. For once, I wasn’t going to be the one to fill it. She deserved to sit in it. “I know I can’t change what I did. Believe me…” She looked at me with reddened eyes. “If I could, I would.” She drew a shaky breath. “I am so sorry. I wish I could go back in time and be braver instead.”
“Do you really think that Aang would have been disappointed in you, or even condemned you, if you couldn’t give him what he wanted?” I shook my head slightly. The anger that had risen in me was slowly fading. “Katara… What he wanted most was you.” I saw another tear fall. “You risked everything you had, because you didn’t trust him enough. You didn’t trust that his love for you would be enough.”
“I understand that now.” She said quietly. “I have regretted my decision ever since the day it happened.” For a moment, she just stared at the stone floor beneath her feet. “That was why I was so angry the day you returned and Aang and I spoke. I had hoped he wouldn’t have gone through with what I had told him to do. I had hoped he would have come back and tell me I was an idiot. That he didn’t want anyone else but me.” Her voice cracked again. “But instead he told me that you two had found each other.” She swallowed. “Something snapped. I was so hurt.”
“He told me he never intended for anything to happen between us. He planned to come back to you.” Her eyes closed.
“But something did happen.”
“Yes, it did.” I studied her for a moment before asking the question that had been lingering in my mind since Cranefish Town. “Do you still love him?” Her head snapped up at me.
“Very much so. I never stopped.” She looked at me, regret rose across every feature of her face. “And that only made what I did, hurt even more… I broke not only his heart, but also my own.” She lowered her gaze again. She looked defeated.
I looked back on my time with Aang with great fondness, even despite everything that happened. It somehow didn’t spoil what we have had anymore. Those months and all the memories and experiences were still precious. I cared deeply for him and I once cared deeply for Katara. The thought settled heavily in my chest and suddenly, everything about this situation made me sad. No one would have blamed me if I walked away from Katara. But whenever I imagined a future without her in it… Something inside me resisted. I didn't want to lose her. I drew a slow breath before I spoke again.
“I can’t promise that everything will go back to how it was.” She looked up at me and a flicker of uncertainty crossed her face. I searched for the right words. “There are some things we can't undo.” My voice was quiet. “Some wounds take a long time to heal.” I paused. “But…” I hesitated for a moment. “I don’t want to keep carrying this around anymore.” Her expression shifted. Her confusion turned into something close to hope. “I forgive you.” Her eyes widened.
“You… What?” Her voice barely worked.
“I forgive you.” The hope in her eyes grew brighter. The words felt lighter the second they left me. Not because everything was suddenly better, because it definitely wasn't. But because I was finally choosing to put the weight down. “I am doing this as much for myself as I am for you. Maybe, I do it even more for myself.” I held her gaze. “So don’t expect that everything is suddenly okay between us again. Too much has happened and rebuilding trust...” I smiled sadly. “...takes time.”
“Thank you, Y/N.” Her voice trembled, but she didn’t look away from me. “I know I haven’t earned your forgiveness.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “But thank you anyway.” She swallowed hard. “I will work hard to earn your trust again.” There wasn’t a trace of hesitation in her voice. I believed her. She was willing to do the work. I nodded faintly at her words.
“So will I.” For the first time since Cranefish Town, the silence between us wasn’t suffocating anymore. Then, Katara slowly rose from the bench, smoothing the creases from her skirt.
“You will visit?” A smile found its way onto my face.
“Of course.” She awkwardly held out her hand, as though she wasn’t quite sure what was appropriate anymore. I looked at it for a moment and then I quietly let out a soft laugh and shook my head.
“No.” She blinked. Instead of shaking it, I opened my arms. “Come here.” Relief washed across her face. She stepped into my embrace without another word. Her arms wrapped tightly around me and mine around her. It wasn't a long hug, nor did it erase everything that had happened, but it was a beginning.
“I have missed you.” She whispered the words in my ear. I didn’t know if we would ever be the same as we once were, but we could start over. Build that trust again that there once had been without question. From now on, the focus would be on the future and not on what happened in the past. When she pulled away, there were fresh tears in her eyes. There were none in mine. I had cried enough over this.
firstly, i hope everyone is well and life is nothing short of great for you all. pls drink plenty of water during this heat, and i promise all will be well if otherwise.
now, here's whats going on:
Burnt to the Core (bttc) will be 18 Chapters, now ensuring that the next two chapters will be the last two. i love this series sm but ive been feeling a bit burnt out.
a potential new mini series (3 parts ideally) will be done based on this ask. im flirting w/ it heavily so let me know if this is something you would like
finally, i will be doing some smut, as that is what i specialize as a writer. i wont reveal myself but i do a lot of smut for jjk and other anime/game franchises. i will leave my askbox link here should you guys like to req or give me some inspo
grateful to everyone who has been here enjoying bttc. a special thanks to my taglist and those who have been here since the start <3
Me after liking the fic, and after reading all the way up until the smut scene in which I realize tags would have probably realize this fic was not for me and save me a lot of time. Now I have to decide whether or not I wanna leave this fanfiction or continue reading because I liked in the beginning.
That's what Zuko hears and sees whenever he's around you. Your vibrant smile speaks volumes and the glimmering light in your eyes make those words even louder.
He's happy that you're happy, at peace with how content you are and pleased with the brilliant glow that encases you from head to toe.
Even if he isn't the cause of any of those wonderful emotions.
Zuko tries not to be so obvious when he watches you. Tries his damn hardest to not look so longingly as you talk and laugh. Tries not to focus on how you instantly brighten up when Aang enters your space. How you instantly reach for him, beaming when he sweeps you up into his loving arms. How Aang smiles just as wide as you do because he's just as in love and just as smitten—if not more so.
And Zuko can't blame him because, well, it's you.
Sometimes he'll catch a pitying glance from Sokka and a sympathetic smile from Katara. Once in a while, Toph will gently punch his shoulder to show she's here for him. Because while they're all happy for you and Aang, they're also feeling for him.
Zuko doesn't know if that's better or worse.
Maybe it's simply neither.
Over time, the pain grows less poignant and impacting. He's actually able to genuinely smile at your wedding ceremony and, surprisingly, his heart doesn't hurt too much when he watches Sokka walk you down the aisle.
But every now and then, in the middle of a too lonely night, Zuko imagines that you curled up in his arms because you married him.
Pairing: Zuko x fem!waterbedner! reader
Summary: Immediately after the Great War ended, Zuko needed to dedicate himself to his duties as Fire Lord and rebuild his country after the years of his father's rule. And you knew perfectly well that this wasn't the time in your life where you could be that for him. So you left. And for those six years, until Aang concocted a plot to lure you into meeting Zuko, you never thought of the new Fire Lord... except on some midnights.
Taglist for Zuko: @rosieposiediditagain
Zuko's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~
"And I never think of him… except on midnights like this" - "Midnight Rain" by Taylor Swift
You hate midnights like these.
Midnights, when you're staring at the ceiling of whatever motel you're currently staying in, unable to calm your thoughts. Lately, they've been happening more often. You'd lie there staring at the ceiling, playing with your tribal bracelet, praying to the spirits to finally let your raging thoughts shut off, even if only for a moment.
At midnights like these, you preferred the nights when you fell asleep exhausted from crying. At least you didn't think so fiercely about him then.
A letter from Iroh lies abandoned on your nightstand. It arrived today. It was delivered by a falcon adorned with royal insignia. You have no idea how Iroh's falcons managed to track you down, and the soldiers Zuko sent you after have only run into you maybe three times in six years. You find it quite amusing.
Although perhaps you've become too practised at avoiding them.
Or maybe Zuko had finally given in. Part of you would have been relieved, but there was still this stubborn other one that wouldn't let you just move on from him as you should. And that little, treacherous piece of you only grew more hopeful with each letter Zuko's uncle wrote.
You wonder if Zuko wrote to you too. If he spent steady, sleepless midnights lying in his royal four-poster bed, thinking of you, cursing you on scraps of paper that will never reach you. You swallow the lump in your throat at the thought and ignore the sting in your eyes as you open Iroh's letter.
Dear Y/N,
Six years without a word is a bit too dramatic, even for an old man like me, let alone Zuko. But I must admit he's handling it better than I ever could.
I hope you're safe. You could at least write this down since we both know you're reading these letters. (My wise birds would sooner peck at anyone else who tried to take them away. And considering how perfectly they're returned to me, I'm convinced they're in your hands.)
So, since my letters aren't working on you, I have to bring out the big guns.
Happy reading,
Iroh
You frown, sitting cross-legged on the bed and leaning against the headboard, rummaging through the envelope. Three sheets of paper fall out. You open the one that's more chipped and crumbled than the others.
You freeze, recognising Zuko's handwriting. You drop the paper onto the bed as if it were made of living fire and practically jump out of it, your bare feet hitting the squeaky wooden motel floor.
The old bastard sent you some of Zuko's letters that might have been for you.
They really shouldn't have had THAT much of an effect on you. You blame your reaction mainly on the fact that for six years you'd been so fervently avoiding any contact with him that now even something like the stupid, probably old letters Iroh easily took from whatever hideout Zuko kept them in made your heart race, your breath hitch, and you could hear the rush of your own blood.
Only when you feel the cold on your feet do you realise that your panic has gotten the better of you and has begun to freeze the floor beneath you.
"Fuck," you curse, trying to clear your mind and focus on melting the ice from the frosted floor.
The only thing missing from your misfortunes for today would be someone suddenly entering your room and discovering that you're not a non-bender examining the condition of the local lakes.
You don't even want to guess how quickly you'd find yourself in the nearest military base, waiting for transport to the palace. And straight to him. Just because you saw the letters he wrote.
"Is everything alright there, honey?" You're pulled out of your dark thoughts by a knock and voices coming from behind the door. "I heard some cracking."
After making sure there is no more ice in the room, you put on your robe and open the door slightly.
"It's okay, Mrs Birohna. I... I just thought I saw a spider and got scared. " You laugh awkwardly, hoping the old woman will buy your lie and leave you alone. So you can read the letters. Or burn them. You don't know yet which will be better for your sanity.
"I don't rent rooms with spiders…"
"Of course. I just imagined it. A strange refraction of light. Sorry for the noise."
The woman eyes you suspiciously but eventually nods, too tired to snoop further.
"If you can't sleep, make yourself some tea instead of waking up other people," she mutters angryly before you close the door behind her. A very polite woman. Now you know why the prices here were so low compared to other motels. And why you were the only one renting a room here.
You promise yourself this is the last time you'll stop here and return to bed with a small candle, which you place on the nightstand. You stare at the three new letters, trying to gather your courage. Which is idiotic, to say the least.
Because what could happen if you read them? Nothing. Just words on paper. Probably telling you how Zuko despises you and wishes he'd never met you. After all, you could stand it… right? At least that was what you deserved.
"Fuck it," you mutter, shaking your head and sitting on the bed. You were on Team Avatar when it was you against the world. Three stupid letters from your ex can't affect you like that.
With trembling hands, you reach for the first letter. Probably the oldest. The ink is already a little faded, and the paper is starting to crumble slightly at the corners, either from age or from constant rubbing—a nervous tic you'd seen Zuko exhibit several times before you left.
You hold your breath slightly when you see the date in the top corner.
A week after you left.
Y/N,
Where the hell are you? I wrote to Aang, he said he hadn't received a letter from you in months. Not to mention that meeting, which clearly isn't happening. (Thanks for the extra ride, because of course I followed you like a fool the morning you left, only to be surprised that no one showed up.)
Did you lie to me? Really? Is this how it's supposed to be now? One argument and you run away?
This is so irresponsible and stupid, I never would have expected it from you. But maybe it's just one of your Water Tribe customs. Soak into the earth and evaporate.
I won't argue with you over letters. I don't want to argue with you at all, but how the hell could you just… disappear?
You're scaring me us all.
Come home,
Zuko
You snort, mad, as if he had no right to be so furious with your behaviour. No one has ever been able to piss you off like he does. And in a letter from six years ago. A week after you ran away... well, maybe he had a point after all.
You tossed the letters aside, your mood completely ruined. You'd expected at least one angry letter from Zuko-he wasn't exactly a calm man, after all-but it still stung.
So you decide to be absolutely childish and ignore the remaining two letters. There was no point in reading them. They were outdated; whatever Zuko had written in them, he certainly didn't think so anymore. He might not have been courting anyone yet, but he was definitely over you by now. It made sense not to dwell on the past.
However, your hand has a brain of its own and reaches for another one.
You shake your head, close your eyes, and rest your forehead against your treacherous hand, trying to talk yourself out of this idea.
And you really do put those letters aside. You're ready to throw the rest into the blazing fire in the morning. Because what would they change? Nothing. Absolutely. Six years have passed. Nothing could ever be between you again.
So you throw everything on the nightstand and stubbornly lie in bed with your back to them. And so you lie. The first hour passes. The second. Before you know it, it's 3 a.m., and you still can't sleep.
Finally, you roll over. Your gaze involuntarily drifts to the stack of papers on the nightstand beside you. And in the moonlight, Zuko's signature is visible, as if to spite you. Your heart beats slightly faster, and you're suddenly acutely aware of the water droplets beginning to form on your palms.
"Damn Iroh." You mutter, sitting down and picking up another piece of paper.
This one is different. Maybe a little... fresher than the first, but it's more wrinkled. Zuko's handwriting is uneven here, as if he wrote in a hurry. Your fingertips involuntarily trace the swirls of ink that form his name. You shake your head. Time to rip off this band-aid and read how he became hateful to you.
Y/N,
This has really gone too far. You don't answer my letters, some of them just bounce back. Do you know how bloody scared I am for you? Six months of silence is probably punishment enough for whatever I've done. And help me, souls of all the Fire Lords, I don't even know what for you can be so angry with me.
Where the fuck does it end? Do I really have to search the world for you like I did for Aang? If I go on an expedition looking for you, will you finally come home? Will you at least send me a fucking piece of paper telling me you're okay?
Because I can do it. You know it perfectly well. You know me perfectly well. Just as I know you. So, don't make me chase you around the world, because sooner or later I'll find you and drag you back home. With or without your consent.
And maybe I'm turning into my damn father, but what else am I supposed to do when the love of my life suddenly left without a word? No one has heard from you, no one. Not Katara, not Sokka, not Aang, not Toph, although she's a great liar and even if she knew anything, she wouldn't tell me.
Let's end this cat-and-mouse game. For our mutual peace of mind. Mostly mine.
Write and tell me where to come pick you up,
Zuko
You look at the date again. Ironically, you were the closest you'd ever dared to venture to his palace. As if you'd somehow sensed it. You sigh, rereading his words. You'd break. You know you would. If that letter had fallen into your hands, you'd have returned to him. To that palace. You don't even know if it was the right thing to do. You're no longer sure of anything. And it's all thanks to Iroh.
You sigh as you begin another letter, convinced that nothing he writes could destroy you more than your own thoughts about yourself. And oh, how wrong you are.
Y/N,
Do you know it's been four years already? It's pathetic that I know the more exact date with hours, minutes and probably seconds, right? Four years without seeing your smile, your eyes. Four years without hearing your voice. Four years living with only the memories of your scent, the taste of your lips, and the feel of your skin under my fingertips. Four years of dreams, haunted by visions of our future that we could have had, the past, and terrible visions that I am afraid to say out loud for fear of tempting fate by making them come true.
Four years and I still can't find you or forget you.
Sometimes I think I see you. In the palace, in the market, at those rare Gaang gatherings. (You worry us all, by the way.) But then those people who look so much like you turn, showing me their empty faces that couldn't even be compared to yours, and my heart returns to that strange state. Not quite alive, not quite dead. As if it still hoped you'd come back and we'd fix everything.
I miss you so much it's pathetic. Every night, full of pride and honour, I sit at my desk and start writing you the desperate letters of a longing, abandoned lover. But I can't stop. Even if I wanted to.
Because none of this matters when you're not here. It's disgusting, the power you have over me, and you don't even know it, you don't want to know it, because you run from me as if I could ever hurt you, and yet you're the one who ripped my heart out and took it with you, never even looking back.
And the worst thing is that I don't even know why.
You have no idea how many sleepless nights I've spent, and still do, wondering what I did to make you leave without a word.
First, I thought someone had kidnapped you, that something had happened to you. I sent my soldiers out like a madmaniac searching for you. And do you know how my heart shattered when one of them told me they'd found you, but you were running from them? As if my father had sent his men after you?
Then, I thought that maybe you'd found someone else, and Y/N, honey, the thought alone makes me want to set this whole palace on fire. I wanted to burn everything that reminded me of you, but still, after all these years, your room stands untouched, and I'm stuck with these damn little things of yours, celebrating them like some kind of relic, because what else do I have left of you?
You don't even know (or maybe you know this feeling better than me) how hard it is when suddenly all you have left of your loved one who was with you every day are just some miserable little things that have already lost the scent of them? It's like you're dead. But you're not. And that's the only thing that comforts me and keeps me truly sane, with any shred of sanity that allows me to function normally and move on with my duties.
And maybe that was the reason you left? My anger and control issues, but Iroh reminded me that I've changed, that I'm not like that anymore. And perhaps the greatest proof of his words is that even if I didn't want to, I still love you as much as the day you left. Maybe even more. And you don't know how much I wanted to hate you, to move on, but how could I hate someone who first gave me a chance? Who saw in me something more than an angry prince chasing a false sense of honour and pride.
But I don't have any of them anymore. No honour, no pride. Nothing. The only thing left for me on this great golden throne, surrounded by people who treat me with respect and sometimes those who are our friends, is helplessness. Because that's exactly what I am. Helpless. Without you. My greatest love and loss of my life.
So please come back. I'm begging you. I'll come to you on my knees and crawl like a worm if you want. Just come back and argue with me, yell at me, or stay silent from a distance where I can at least look at you. Just come home. So I can love you. Make me stop screaming your name on these rainy nights like some lost, stupid blind man, hoping to find his way back home.
Yours. Even if you never read this,
Zuko
You don't even pretend not to care anymore. Tears flow freely from your eyes, and you let out a single, pathetic, shuddering breath. Because you were truly convinced he couldn't love you anymore. Maybe he didn't? After all, it was a letter from two years ago... or at least that's how you try to soothe your tormenting conscience and heart.
Because maybe if he was as miserable without you as you were without him, on those nights when he was all you could think about... then maybe you made the wrong decision after all? Maybe six years of looking over your shoulder, travelling from country to country, running from your past and loved ones, were... senseless?
You flinch when you suddenly hear the cry of a falcon.
You bite your lip until it bleeds. You hiss, pressing your hand to your lips. You manipulate the red liquid, wrapping it around your fingertips and stopping the slight bleeding.
Falcon squeals once again.
"Stupid bird." You whisper, listening and wondering if the old housekeeper will suddenly burst into your room.
The falcon flies up to you and lands on your lap, pecking you punishingly on the thigh - not enough to draw blood, but enough to leave a nice bruise.
"Ouch! Okay, okay. You don't have to torment me like that," you tell him, and you arch out of bed, looking into your duffel bag for some dried meat to give him and something to write with.
You weren't going to change your mind. You couldn't come back.
You're absolutely convinced of it. But Iroh seeps into your head through Zuko's letters, enough that with a trembling hand you reach for a scrap of parchment and a quill. You were about to do what Iroh asked of you. A small olive branch for all these years.
I'm safe and sound. I also hope your next tea is cold, overly sweet, and preferably tastes like that particularly disgusting dried herb from Ba Sing Se.
Sincerely,
You know who
What you didn't know was that this very short letter would be the turning point in your escape from the past.
"You could at least knock," Zuko mutters, looking over the parchment—a plan of new laws he wanted to introduce, which his advisors might not necessarily like.
“To my own nephew’s chambers?” Iroh teases him, entering with a tray of tea. "You didn't sleep, as usual?"
Zuko sighs, rubbing his eyes with his hand, and glances at the time candle on his desk. It was almost 5 a.m.
"A good ruler doesn't sleep," he replies, reaching for the teapot to pour them tea. His gaze lingers on the envelope on the tray. The envelope with his uncle's name written in your handwriting. "Shit," he mutters, pouring the tea and scalding himself with it.
He sets the teapot down on the table with a thud. Iroh gives him a disapproving look, wiping up the mess Zuko has made and watching him closely as he picks up the unsealed envelope.
"What is it?" He swallows hard, trying to control his emotions. The candle flame flickers gently from side to side, sensing his turbulent emotions and yielding to the bending he unconsciously does.
"Something I thought you'd want to read."Iroh shrugs and takes his mug, sipping his jasmine tea. "My falcon brought this an hour ago. The ink is fresh. It gives us... a narrower field of potential searches."
"I won't pursue her against her will," he mutters, tossing the envelope onto the table. He crosses his arms, making sure his willpower doesn't break, and he reaches for the letter like a pathetic desperado. "It's been six years."
"It's true. Just like you can't sleep at night, refuse to even talk to potential suitors, and spill your tea when you see an envelope with her handwriting."
Zuko blushes slightly with embarrassment. He should finally learn that lying to Iroh isn't worth it. Or he should do much better if he has already tried.
"I'm… simply tired of being Fire Lord. Stress, lack of sleep, and all that." He lists, avoiding looking at both his uncle's eyes and the letter from you which was still lying on the table.
He grabs the cup to avoid nervously fidgeting with his fingers or accidentally setting anything on fire. Six years without a word, and suddenly, a letter from you to his uncle lay before him.
"Mhm... well, then it's a good thing you're going on vacation with Aang and the others to Ember Island soon, right?" Iroh replies, not at all convinced by the overly casual attitude Zuko was trying to maintain.
Zuko just nods. His bun tilts slightly, and the metal flame ornament almost falls into his tea cup. Iroh tries very hard not to laugh at his nephew's nervousness.
"Get some sleep," Iroh says, standing up. "I'll make sure they write to Aang with a reminder. The boy may be the Avatar and protector of the world, but he can also be... forgetful."
"And the letter?" Zuko asks, turning towards the door - moving for the first time since he saw your handwriting.
"I've already read it." Iroh tosses casually over his shoulder, not even pausing, and leaves his chambers.
Zuko is left alone. With your letter on the table.
He loosens the collar of his robes, suddenly feeling stifled in his chambers. He glances at the map of his country, analysing every village within an hour of the falcon's flight...
He shakes his head. He had far more important things to do. Treaties and agreements to review, a meeting with the generals about future armaments... and yet he reaches for the abandoned letter.
And there are three things that Zuko knows for sure. The first one is that you're safe. The second: Iroh's next tea was exactly opposite from what you wished for his uncle to be. And the third one – most terrifying for him to realise – was that you still had so much power over him. And the proof for that was not only his earlier, awkward teenage behaviour but also his heartbeat accelerating with every word he read and the fact that he was able to read that letter in his head with your exact tone of voice.
Still, after six years, he was haunted by you. Zuko sighs, waving his hand to extinguish any fire in his room and plunging into a momentary darkness that breaks with the rising sun.
Thank you so much for reading this!!! If you want to, let me know what you think in comments! 🥰🖤🖤
Part 2 is comming soon, maybe even a little more if you want?
Also, someone should investigate how on earth I remember the Fire Nation using falcons as carrier pigeons when I watched Atla like 10 years ago. xD
when ZUKO finds out the girl he once fell in love with is now AANG'S wife.
YOU MAKE HELL OUR PARADISE !
PLOT. forced by duty to preserve the future of the air nation, a proposal is made by the republic city council, and you are chosen to become aang's second wife. as you find yourself joining the family he's already built with katara and their two children, your marriage brings an unexpected reunion with the boy you once knew only as lee—the tea shop owner's nephew who stole your first kiss and disappeared, now revealed to be none other than fire lord zuko.
WARNINGS. 18+, smut, slight angst, arranged marriage, political marriage, infidelity, established kataang, reader is aang's second wife, reader replaces jin (zuko's first date girl), eventual zuko x reader, not polyamorous, aang and katara are in their early 30s, reader and zuko are in their mid-30s, bumi and kya exist, canon divergence, mentions of pregnancy and childbirth, duty over love, sex without feelings (with aang, i'm sorry), not proofread.
warnings: mentions of pregnancy & child birth, fluff, angst, hurt with some comfort
notes: i’ve genuinely had the idea for this story since 2020 and i’m so excited to finally be sharing it with you all! hope you enjoy :)
summary: the birth of your daughter invites a ghost from your past to return, forcing you to unlock a sinister form of bending
*part of the fire lilies series*
“You’re doing amazing, my love. You’re so strong.”
“They’re almost here, y/n. Just one more big push,” Katara instructs, though you can barely hear her over the sound of your own strained grunts.
You’ve been in labor for hours with your only solace being Zuko’s support and Katara’s presence as your midwife. Though the Fire Nation advisors had insisted on delivering your baby in the palace, you were adamant about the birth taking place in the South. It’s where you’d had the twins, where you felt most safest, and not to mention Katara is the only person you trust to take care of you in such a vulnerable state.
You hold Zuko’s hand in a viselike grip and use the remaining energy you have left to push. Your scream echoes through the room, but in a matter of seconds the sound is masked by the shrill cries of your newborn. You fall back against the pillows with a weary moan and shut your eyes as you catch your breath. Your husband gently runs a damp rag across your forehead to cool you off and collect the sweat from your brow while Katara works to clean your baby.
“It’s a girl,” she coos tenderly. “A healthy, beautiful baby girl.”
You watch through hooded eyes as the squabbling infant is placed on your chest. Your arms instinctively raise to cradle her close, your nose nuzzling against her tufts of dark hair in a show of affection as she starts to whimper. You feel Zuko’s lips against your forehead as he gifts you a kiss, his eyes shining with love and admiration for your strength.
“You did so good,” he praises while pushing back the hair from your face. “She’s beautiful.”
“She looks just like you,” you tell him with a tender smile as you admire her precious face. “Welcome to the water tribe, Elza.”
Her tiny coos cause Zuko’s chest to swell with pride as he looks upon his newborn daughter. Your pregnancy hadn’t been an easy one; from fighting against Tagah and the Denied while unknowingly pregnant to your travels with Aang and his acolytes, you’d certainly endured more excitement than Zuko was comfortable with. He worried endlessly about your wellbeing and health, which is why he’s grateful to the spirits for Katara’s help in ensuring a safe delivery for you and Elza.
“Can we come in yet? We’re dying to see the baby!” Sokka exclaims from outside your bedroom. You’d left him in charge of the twins once your labor began, and he clearly shared their excitement in meeting the newest edition to your family.
With Katara and Zuko’s help you’re able to get yourself cleaned up and ready for visitors. Once you feel comfortable enough Katara ushers in her brother who holds your sons in his arms. Their faces light up with excitement at finally being able to see you again, their hands immediately reaching out for you only to end up in Zuko’s hold instead.
“I’m sorry little ones, but we have to be extra careful with your mother right now while she heals,” he reminds them. He holds the boys close enough to your bedside for you to gift each of them a kiss followed by an affectionate kunik.
“Tukon, Dazu, would you like to meet your new sister?”
After Zuko carefully places the boys beside you in bed, you gently shift the fabric of Elza’s swaddle so the two may get a look at her sleeping face. She rests in tranquility and peace surrounded by those who love her most, and your heart is filled with immense joy knowing you’re the most lucky woman in the world to have such a tremendous support system.
“She’s gorgeous, buddy,” Sokka congratulates with a hearty clap to Zuko’s back. “You’re a really lucky guy.”
“I am,” Zuko agrees with a faint smile as he watches you gently place the baby in Tukon’s hold while his brother looks on in awe.
The sight is a bittersweet reminder of the day he’d first met Azula when she was born. He was two years old then just as the twins are now, and he too had been completely enamored with her presence. He never would have foreseen the way their relationship would play out, but he swears to himself then that he’ll never allow that to happen between your children. He’ll love them equally, help them grow at their own pace, and teach them to see each other as equals. Your home will be one filled with love and warmth, and they will only ever know peace and happiness.
The arrival of a new princess is not only a symbol of unity between the Fire Nation and the Southern Water Tribe but also a symbol of hope for the new era of peace amongst the four nations, and Zuko couldn’t be more proud.
~~~
You sit beneath the shade of the birch tree with a nursing Elza nestled against your chest while Zuko helps the boys feed the turtle ducks. Life is calm after the birth of your daughter, though you find it hard to believe she’s already a month old. Both the Fire Nation and the South had been overjoyed to welcome a new Princess to the royal family, and she’d been showered endlessly with gifts and well wishes from your citizens. Everything felt perfect, but your duties didn’t disappear just because you’d become a mother.
You haven’t been able to tear your eyes away from the scroll in your hands since first opening it. The message was marked urgent by Sokka himself, and as Chief you wasted no time in attending to the matter. While you’d initially expected to be greeted with Sokka’s messy scribbles, it was Katara’s neat handwriting that you found inside. You scanned the document quickly in fear of your friend being in some sort of trouble, but instead you found a desperate plea for you to approve a new motion she had put forward in the water tribe— a ban on blood bending.
You’d first heard of such an ability from the old Fire Nation tales Iroh would share with you aboard Zuko’s ship. Though the General had dismissed the stories as merely a tactic used to scare new recruits and assured you such an ability was unheard of, you eventually came to learn that was far from the truth. Blood bending did exist, and it was a power Katara had learned to harness.
You didn’t trust Hama, and she didn’t particularly care for you either after learning you’d abandoned your duties as princess after falling in love with a fire bending prince. There was only space for one water bender under her wing, and she’d chosen Katara as her newest pupil. You hadn’t been there when she’d revealed her escape from prison had been made possible with blood bending, and you’d been too busy helping Toph free the villagers to witness the water bender’s display of power.
As the only other water bender on the team, Katara had confided in you the horror and disgust she felt over controlling another person’s body. You assured her the act had been a necessary evil to save your friends, and her use of blood bending did not define her as a bender. You didn’t ask her to teach you, didn’t pry for details about how such an ability worked, and after that night you never spoke of it again.
At least until now.
“Mommy, mommy!” Dazu cries, your trance finally broken as you look up from the scroll to see the toddler clumsily running towards you. “The turtle duck bit me!”
“Let me see,” you tell him with a frown. His finger has grown swollen, and you let out a quiet tut as you urge him to be still. “Haven’t your father and I told you to play nice with the ducks.”
“He tried to steal my bread,” the toddler argues with a pout that is soon wiped away when he sees you begin to use your bending. Using your free hand, you pull water from the pond and concentrate the liquid along his finger as it begins to glow. It only takes seconds before his bite is healed, and he holds his hand up in awe to examine your work.
“You’re magic, mommy!” He exclaims with delight. The commotion draws the attention of Tukon and your husband who come to join you beneath the tree, Zuko immediately taking Elza from your grasp to give your arms a break.
“No fair, I want magic!” Tukon protests while chasing after his brother to play in the fire lily garden.
“Stay away from the turtle ducks, you two!” Zuko calls after them, but his instructions fall upon deaf ears. With the twins keeping each other company and Elza sound asleep, you turn to your husband for comfort after processing the weight of Katara’s letter by allowing your head to rest upon his shoulder.
“Have you ever heard of blood bending?” You ask him suddenly, feeling his muscles tense beneath your cheek. A heavy pause hangs in the air before he finally offers you a nod in response.
“When I helped Katara track down the man who’d killed her mother, I watched her use it on a soldier right in front of me. I’d never seen anything like it before. It was terrifying, but I was just glad she’d never thought to use it on me.”
“She’s asked me to ban blood bending,” you tell him somberly. “Once I approve the motion she wants me to ask the Northern Chief to do the same, and when the tribes are in agreement she’ll propose the law in Republic City.”
“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Zuko says with a furrowed brow, his concern over your sudden change in affect evident in his tone.
“Of course!” You’re quick to correct him after noticing his uncertainty. “I know what this motion means to her, and I know how evil blood bending can be. I just wasn’t expecting it is all… I mean, we haven’t talked about that night since we were kids.”
“I know how easily the past can come back to haunt you in even the happiest of times,” he notes thoughtfully, peering down at Elza as she begins to stir in his hold. “It only makes you want to fight harder for a better future, and that’s what this motion is: a chance for a better future.”
Zuko’s words alleviate the unease you feel at being faced with such a daunting subject, and you find yourself able to relax for the first time since being presented with the scroll. You’ve never attempted blood bending yourself, but you know how terrifyingly powerful the ability is, and there’s no world in which you see it being used for good. You’ll sign the agreement to implement the motion as law in the South, and your people will be better off for it.
“How lucky am I to have such a wise husband,” you fawn with a playful smile as you nuzzle your nose against his cheek in a display of affection.
“I have my moments,” he agrees with a chuckle.
“Like the silver sandwich speech you gave Sokka?” You giggle only for his face to fall in embarrassment.
“He told you about that?” He groans, receiving a kiss on the cheek as a consolation for your teasing.
“Let’s bring the children in for dinner,” you tell him then, rising from your seat on the grass before taking Elza so he may wrangle the twins inside.
With Zuko’s help you’re able to forget about Katara’s scroll for a moment, the peaceful atmosphere of the palace returning once more as you enjoy the evening with your little family. Settled at the dinner table, blood bending becomes the last thing on your mind, and your defenses are lowered once more.
You could have never predicted what was to come next.
~~~
“Excellent form, Princess,” Iroh compliments pleasantly after you complete a perfect water whip that effectively slices your practice dummy in half. “You are becoming quite the master in water bending.”
“Thank you, Uncle,” you reply with a humble bow, “but I can’t take all the credit. My strength comes from the moon, and she’s full tonight.”
“Of course! How silly of me to forget,” he laughs after taking a drink of his tea. “Even the most skilled fire bender would fear the power of a water bender under a full moon. Your abilities are limitless.”
“Limitless?” You repeat quizzically. “What do you mean?”
“Well, it’s an old war story really, but some say there once was a Southern bender so powerful they learned to control the water in other people’s body. They could make any Fire Nation soldier their puppet with the help of a full moon, or at least that’s how the story goes. Frankly, I don’t believe such a tale is true, but it has proven effective in scaring new recruits.”
You look up at the night sky and settle your pensive stare on the moon. Surely a beacon of light and beauty would never conjure such a horrid power. The people of the water tribe were known for their healing and strength within their community, and you couldn’t imagine a water bender using their gift as a means of stealing another person’s autonomy.
“It can’t be true,” you finally deduce after processing the General’s story. “My people are kind and resilient, they would never do something so heinous. And if blood bending does exist— well, I would never use it!”
You wake to the sound of Elza’s cries.
You’re half asleep and still in the midst of your memories from your day’s on Zuko’s ship when you will yourself to sit up in bed and rub the sleep from your eyes. A careful breeze blows through the curtains and sends goosebumps along your skin, immediately causing you to shiver while you struggle to recall leaving the windows open. Zuko stirs beside you, but you don’t have the heart to wake him fully. You’ll feed her quickly and return her to sleep before he even notices you’re gone.
Finally blinking away the last remnants of sleep, you settle your gaze on the crib across the room only for your heart drop from your chest. You feel like you can’t breathe, your body frozen in place as you stare down the cloaked figure holding your baby in their arms. Each cry Elza lets out further tightens the knot in your stomach, but you fear any sudden movement will result in the intruder running off with your child. They don’t speak, don’t move— they simply wait for you to act first.
“Zuko,” you finally manage to force out, your voice weak and trembling. “Zuko, wake up.”
“What is it, my love?” He murmurs hoarsely while shifting to sit upright beside you. All it takes is one look at your face to notice your terrified expression before he follows your gaze towards the crib. His initial reaction is confusion, a part of him still believing he must be dreaming, but the reality of the situation is quick to set in, and the confusion he feels is soon replaced with a scorching fury that settles deep within his chest.
“Put her down!” He roars, but by the time he manages to scramble out of bed the figure is already fleeing out the window. You quickly stumble after Zuko to the balcony to catch sight of the intruder sliding down the pillars with Elza still in their grasp. Your mind is frenzied and your entire body is aflame with panic, but you know you must act fast before it’s too late.
“Check on the boys and make sure they’re safe!” You demand frantically, leaving no time to argue as you give chase to the figure.
Using the water from the pitcher on your night stand you propel yourself forward and land only a few feet behind the figure. As if sensing your presence, Elza’s cries morph into piercing wails from where she’s kept tucked beneath the cloak. The sound only spurs you to move faster through the courtyard, your path illuminated by the light of the full moon.
With the pond on the other side of the place and no source of running water around you you’re left with no choice but to gather it from the plants you pass, each bush and shrubbery wilting limply behind you as you sprint after the kidnapper. You create a wave beneath you to carry you forward faster, your fingertips nearly brushing against the dark cloak as you strain to grab them. Elza is just in reach, but your attempt is thwarted when a blast of fire is suddenly shot your way.
You quickly maneuver the water from beneath you to block their strike, staggering backwards from the impact but saving yourself from being burned. You attempt to push forward only to be frozen dead in your tracks when the assailant suddenly stops and turns to face you. Thought you still can’t make out their identity, you watch as they point their index and middle finger out towards Elza. Fire dances along their fingertips, merely inches away from burning your baby and forcing you to stop your advances.
“Another step closer and I’ll make her look just like her father,” the stranger warns callously.
Eyes wide with fear, you swallow thickly and slowly lower your hands until the water lands pathetically at your feet. The figure still does not extinguish their flame, and though you’re desperate to get your daughter back you don’t know how you can strike without her getting caught in the crossfire.
“Who are you?!” You demand, desperately trying to keep your voice steady despite the tears that fall down your cheeks. “What do you want with my daughter?!”
“Oh, Princess,” the figure tuts mockingly, “do you really not see the family resemblance?”
Your brows furrow with unease as you try to place the familiarity of the voice. You know this person, and by the resentment that plagues their tone you think they know you too. Finally, the figure puts out their flame to remove their hood. You hold your breath as the perpetrator reveals themself, but nothing could have ever prepared you to face the golden irises that meet your intense stare when the cloak is finally removed.
“Azula,” you breathe in paralyzing shock. You feel like the wind has been knocked clean out of you, your stomach churning with the amalgamation of emotions that consume you now. You don’t know how to react, still struggling to comprehend the fact that Zuko’s sister is standing here right in front of you and holding your daughter hostage. The last time you’d seen her had been in the Garden of Tranquil Souls with her group of Kemurikage before she’d disappeared, and you never thought a day would come where she’d finally return.
“Congratulations on your beautiful little princess,” she coos with a sinister smile. “I must admit, I was thrilled to hear the news you’d given birth to a health baby girl.”
“Why are you here?” You press through gritted teeth, your body aflame with the rage of a mother scorned. She sighs as if disappointed and goes so far as to shake her head in disapproval of your manners.
“Oh, y/n, is that any way to treat family? I simply wanted to meet my new niece.”
“Give her back!” You command only to falter when Azula raises her flamed fingertips once more.
“Careful, dearest. We wouldn’t want her pretty face to be ruined now, would we?”
“Please don’t,” you nearly sob, your desperation finally taking over. “Just tell me what you want. Tell me why you’re here after all these years.”
She hums thoughtfully as if contemplating your request, eyes shining with amusement at your frantic sniveling state like her kidnapping of your daughter is just a game and not the cause of your anguish.
“My dear brother is far from being the Fire Lord our father was, and though I tried to steer him in the right direction it seems ZuZu is incapable of being the ruthless leader the Fire Nation so desperately needs. Our family lineage, a legacy that once struck fear into the heart’s of our enemies, has been ruined all thanks to you and the Avatar.”
“So you kidnap my daughter as punishment? As a way to get back at me?”
“You always take things so personally,” she scoffs in annoyance. “I couldn’t change Zuko, and thanks to you I’ve been pushed down the line to inherit the throne. But when I heard you’d given birth to a new princess I realized I had another chance to restore the throne to its rightful glory.”
“What are you talking about?” You question uneasily, your frantic gaze shifting rapidly between her and your daughter who has now settled in Azula’s arms. Her cries have dwindled into quiet whimpers, but this does little to ease your nerves.
“Your sons may bear resemblance to the water tribe, but Elza is clearly a daughter of the Fire Nation. She comes from a powerful line of fire benders, and with the right teacher she could become the most ruthless bender in all of the four nations, but you and Zuko would never allow that. That’s when I realized the only person who could do the job is me. I’d just have to take Elza from you, train her in the ways of my father, then when she’s ready we shall return to take what is rightfully ours. She’ll be the perfect Princess and the most feared Fire Lord all thanks to her talented Aunt Azula.”
You stand there horrified as you listen to her admission. This whole time she’d been watching your family from the shadows, keeping tabs on your children while planning her revenge against your transgressions. You announced the birth of your daughter for the entire country to hear without once stopping to think if Azula had been listening, and all you feel now is unrelenting guilt for putting your children in danger simply by letting your guard down. You should have known she would come back one day, and you should have been more prepared. It’s because of your mistakes she now holds your baby in her grasp, ready to disappear at a moment’s notice.
“You can’t take her,” you insist despairingly. “You don’t even know if she’s a fire bender yet! She might not be any sort of bender at all! What will you do then?”
“Well, I suppose I could consider giving her back,” she replies with a dismissive wave of her hand while meeting your tearful gaze with a calloused smirk. “Or I could rid my family of another stain to our legacy. We’ll just have to see.”
She reignites her flames, the fire dancing along her fingertips as she inches her hand dangerously close to Elza’s face. The baby squirms uncomfortably in the heat, and your palms begin to itch with the urge to bend the water at your feet so you may extinguish the fire and keep her safe. Instead, you can do nothing but watch on helplessly as Azula begins to walk backwards, her eyes never leaving your figure as she slowly makes her escape.
“If you or anyone else tries to stop us from leaving I’ll strike her without a moment’s hesitation,” she threatens sinisterly. “And you know I mean it.”
You sob when another cry leaves Elza’s tiny body, your chest constricting with the anguish you feel at being unable to stop Azula from leaving with your child. You can’t bend without your daughter paying the price in the process, either suffering at the hand’s of her aunt or getting caught in the crossfire of your water bending. Calling for help will only lead to the same result, so you can do nothing but try to engrave the details of your daughter’s face to your memory before she’s gone forever.
Your broken stare falls to the ground and settles upon the water pooled at your feet. The moonlight sparkles along its surface and illuminates your reflection, allowing you to confront your defeated features as you contemplate how you can stop Azula from leaving the palace with Elza. You’re running out of time and options, and in your state of desperation a horrific idea dawns upon you then.
You shift your gaze to peer up at the full moon, its lunar beauty causing your stomach to lurch with unease as you’re reminded of the strength it gives you now. Iroh had once said even the most skilled fire bender feared a water bender powered by the full moon, and you knew exactly why. You know what you’re capable of with its light, and you know what you have to do to get your daughter back.
You take a deep breath and close your eyes as you concentrate on feeling the water around you— the puddle at your feet, the dew on the grass, the moisture in the air. Each drop allows you to create a path towards your target until finally you can sense the blood rushing through her veins. A vibration tingles along your fingertips as you visualize grabbing hold of her limbs and pulling like a puppet master pulls on their strings. Something shifts within you then, and all you can hear is the sound of Azula’s heartbeat as she stands frozen in place.
“W-What is this?” She gasps, straining her body to move only to find she has no control over any of her limbs. “What are you doing to me?”
“Making you give my daughter back.”
For as long as she’d known you Azula had always perceived you as docile, a harmless Princess who pulled her punches in every fight she found herself in for the sake of peace. She’d never considered you a real threat, and yet her arrogant underestimation of you is the reason she now finds herself at your complete mercy. Her entire body feels numb, the blood in her veins is on fire, and she can only watch while your scarred hands will her feet forward.
Any previous reservations you held about blood bending are nonexistent now that you’ve managed to keep Azula from escaping. You don’t feel like yourself, and in this moment you don’t seem to care. Your concentration is strong, and you never let up your control of her even when Zuko comes skidding to a halt behind you with a group of guards ready to intervene.
“Azula?” He gasps in dismay, reeling from the shock he feels at seeing his sister again after years of wondering whether she was even still alive. His first instinct is to resort to anger, but it quickly morphs into confusion when he notices the unnatural movements of her body and the contortion of her terrified features. “What are you doing?”
His gaze shifts to you then as he takes note of your outstretched hands and the vengefulness in your stare, unrelenting in your movements despite his presence. Your eyes shine with the same wrath Katara’s once had all those years ago, and he’s quickly able to deduce that the movements of his sister’s body are not her own. Without any teaching and without ever having used it before, you’ve mastered blood bending.
“Take Elza,” you urge him while maneuvering Azula’s arms forward. Zuko wastes no time in following your orders as he takes your daughter from his sister’s trembling hands and cradles her protectively against his chest. She settles immediately in his hold once sensing his warmth, and you can finally breathe knowing your daughter is safe.
Staring down at your child now secure in his arms, Zuko can’t help but feel like this is all his fault. If he hadn’t let Azula escape the last time he’d fought her, if he’d gotten her the help she needed before it had been too late, if he’d sent more search parties after her, if he’d done something more, then maybe she never would have come after Elza and you never would have been forced to do the very thing you swore against ever using as a water bender and a healer.
All attention rests on you now as the siblings wait with bated breath for your next move. Zuko holds no judgement towards you for the measures you’ve resorted to in order to keep your daughter safe, but he’s unsure how far you plan to take it. He trusts you enough not to interfere or stop you, but his only hope is you don’t allow your anger to drive you towards something you might regret.
“I’m going to let you go, and you’re going to leave,” you finally announce after an uneasy bout of silence, your stare boring into her as you speak, “Leave the palace, leave the Fire Nation. I don’t care where you go as long as it isn’t anywhere near my family. It’s over, Azula.”
“I’ve truly underestimated you, Princess,” she breathes tersely, trembling with unease despite the smug confidence she attempts to convey. “But it’s nice to know the Fire Nation has its ruthless leader after all.”
You flinch from her words like you’ve been struck and immediately release her from your hold as the gravity of your actions finally registers in your mind. You’d been so consumed by your anger and the fear of losing your daughter that you’d gone against your beliefs as a water bender. What kind of Chief would commit an act that so heinously went against the core beliefs of her people and their practices? You’ve committed a terrible offense, sunk to a level you once thought impossible to reach, and now you shamefully wear the title of blood bender.
The air is filled with suffocating tension as Azula briskly makes her escape from the palace, fearful of the possibility you’ll change your mind about letting her go. The guards attempt to follow after only for Zuko to silently raise his hand to signal a stop, urging them to instead secure the perimeters in the event of any further attacks and ensure she’s left for good. Your mind feels like it’s in a fog as you silently sink to your knees and sit in the aftermath of your traumatic ordeal.
Zuko is quick to follow your movements and kneel beside you. Shifting Elza into one arm, he gently wraps the other around your trembling figure and pulls you flush against him. The heat of his bare chest contrasts the cool tears on your cheeks, and with Azula finally gone you allow yourself to break down from the weight of your actions and the heaviness in your heart.
“You did what you had to do,” your husband reassures you through hushed whispers, his hand raising to tenderly cradle the back of your head. “Anyone else in your position would have done the same. I would have done the same.”
“I should have tried harder to find another way,” you argue through a sob. “It didn’t have to go that far. I’m supposed to be better than that.”
“Elza is safe because of you,” Zuko reiterates firmly. He’s desperate to keep you from falling into the desolate pits of self loathing, but he knows Azula’s words have struck a chord within you. “Our daughter is still here with us because of what you did.”
As if to affirm her father’s passionate declaration, the babbling Princess reaches out her chubby hands towards your face. Her tiny fingers find purchase along the skin of your cheeks, and you shut your eyes to focus on the sensation as a means to ground yourself in the moment. Zuko is right, you know he is, and yet you can’t shake the disgust you feel towards your bending. Such a belief had been easier to grasp when comforting Katara as teenagers, but you couldn’t find it in you to extend the same compassion towards yourself.
“You’re a good, kindhearted person who would never want to cause pain or harm to anyone no matter how terrible. Using blood bending on Azula doesn’t change that.”
“It does,” you protest pathetically, peering up at him through your wet lashes once finally willing your eyes to open.
“How?” He asks uncertaintly. His hand moves to lovingly cup your face in his palm to meet your stare and provide you comfort in your time of need. You shudder against him and struggle to release your admission, but you know you have to voice it aloud before the thought consumes you.
“Because I knew what I was doing and I didn’t even care that it was wrong. Because I know I would do it again. I wouldn’t hesitate to blood bend if it meant keeping you and our children safe.”
“Which is what any mother would do if her baby was in danger,” Zuko insists. “That doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.”
“No, it doesn’t,” you relent dolefully, gently taking one of Elza’s hands in your own and pressing a delicate kiss to her palm. “It just means Azula is right— I’m ruthless.”
Zuko pauses at your repetition of Azula’s words, but it only causes him to hold you even tighter. He’s in agony knowing how deeply you’re hurting, and he only wishes there was something he could do to alleviate your pain and show you you’re not the person his sister has painted you out to be.
You and Zuko never discuss this night again, swearing to hold the secret of your blood bending ability close to your chest alongside your husband. Everyone will think you’d bested Azula in a battle of bending, and you’ll be praised for your heroic efforts to save the nation’s princess. The Fire Nation and the Southern Water Tribe will see you as a dutiful mother who had fought valiantly to protect her children, but you’ll only see a blood bending monster.
Your approval of Katara’s motion is sent out the very next morning, and you never speak of blood bending again.
~~~
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