#piss talks

[djpiss]

Happy pride month to all of my exhausted queer jews

[plant-piss]

Behold my boy in all his glory.

Concrete.

[djpiss]

May Pope Leo XVI be the Pope to finally give the Jews back our shit. Unlikely, but would be nice.

[djpiss]

My Modern Arcana headcannons because no one can stop me from rotating these people in my head

-RIP Julian you would have loved being the world's drunkest guy at karaoke. (I also hc that he and Portia are Eastern European Jewish but not super observant I mean c'mon his favorite food is lobster claws.).

-They would also he would have movie nights with Nadia where they watch telenovelas, Bollywood movies, or musicals since they have a love for the *drama* Lucio would get jealous and come along ONE time (even though he doesn't even like musicals since HE'S the only one allowed to be a drama king)

-Nadia has a *beautiful* and refined singing voice and sometimes sings little diddies with the MC or her sisters when they visit. (She's going to karaoke with Julian too, but she has to get buzzed to actually sing.) Lucio also tags along to karaoke, (after dramatically moping because Julian never explicitly invites him because his singing voice sucks in cannon and he never pays for anyone's drinks)

-Lucio would always interrupt the Savatrina sisters' singing by jokingly saying "I didn't know you joined an a capella group!" or some other INSANELY lame thing. Sometimes he even tries to join, it always elicits a chorus of eye rolls and pinched noses.

-If Morga were introduced to the internet, she would still be the Least Online person you ever met. She would use the internet once in a blue moon for different ways to preserve her various cuts of venison or something and that is IT. You tried to Rickroll her as a joke and she asked you if the man who was singing "was your friend or something".

-Lucio would have LOVED being in a fraternity. That man was BORN to haze freshman and show up to his 10am classes hungover as shit.

-He also had to be talked out of investing in shitcoins more than once by an increasingly exasperated Nadia after they got married. Nadia also would regularly roast him for his lack of spice tolerance. (This man freaks out at even one slice of jalapeno in anything he eats.)

-Also Lucio would have ABSOLUTELY been called a "metrosexual" in the early 2000's, but he secretly doesn't mind it.

[djpiss]

Jewish women stay winning I’m so glad I’m a Jewish woman reblog if you’re glad to be a Jewish woman

[djpiss]

Arcana Modern!Au Karaoke with Lucio, Nadia, Julian, and Asra

This is a continuation of my earlier post

https://www.tumblr.com/djpiss/771492401611210752/my-modern-arcana-headcannons-because-no-one-can?source=share

I got inspired with the idea of the gang doing a karaoke night that I made a new drabble! Enjoy < 3

-Nadia and Julian bonded over karaoke when they first met, in fact they occasionally had double dates with Lucio and Asra at a local karaoke bar.

-Lucio HATED those dates since he knows he has a bad singing voice and someone ELSE is being paid attention to??? POSITIVE ATTENTION!??! HOW DARE THEY!! Sometimes he'd literally have to leave the bar and stand outside because it "was too noisy".

-Nadia took a BUNCH of music lessons growing up and has a GORGEOUS and professional alto singing voice, but she has to have a glass of wine and Julian's encouragement to sing.

-Depending on how drunk she is, she'll likely sing some Adele or Britney Spears and BELT that shit!! Nadia is such a perfectionist that she treats every karaoke performance like her audition for The Voice, sometimes she even warms up in the bathroom before she sings and then make friends with whatever piss drunk girl is also using the bathroom.

-(Nadia actually ended up being invited to a few weddings this way! She very tactfully avoids the question of how she met the bride.)

- It doesn’t hurt that Nadia is a very happy and social drunk, and has an embarrassingly low alcohol tolerance. She nurses a glass of wine and plenty of water throughout the evening and still gets drunk enough to be the drunk girl in the bathroom giving you a pep talk.

-Lucio *does* make fun of her for this, and it’s sometimes his clap back when she makes fun of him for his lack of spice tolerance.

-Julian is a showboat, and even though he isn't a belting kind of man like Nadia, that man has done enough community theater to be an expert at karaoke.

-I can see this drama king bust out a show tune or two, with choreography, of course. (Especially after a Salty Bitter or two!)

-When Lucio is done moping outside, he DOES attempt karaoke. That man is TONE DEAF but he does NOT care. (I personally headcannon that when he does karaoke its like that one episode of Futurama where Zapp Brannagan covers "Lola" so badly that everyone leaves the restaurant. )

-Lucio doesn't even like the Kinks, he just knows the lyrics to the song.

-Being one to be quiet and observe, Asra doesn't ever do karaoke, but they do tease Julian after he performs. They always jokingly ask him for his autograph or feign distress at the prospect of Julian "leaving them for someone else now that he's so famous"

-No one has ever laughed at this joke, ever. But just like any relationship, it requires a bit that you do with your S/O whether they like it or not.

-Julian then dramatically goes on about how the fame would never change him, and then pretends to leave.

@vivianthevirulent

[djpiss]

Kids these days don’t even know about uncle moishy and his beautiful pizza song. We are failing our youth.

[djpiss]

In Barcelona, I see vandalism with picture of J man and “dont forgive them, you know darn well what they did” (translated from Spanish) hmmmm.