#plural system advice

[plurals-helping-plurals]

how can we calm an enraged persecutor down?

we have a persecutor alter who is normally alright but if someone aggravates them then she would get full on violent and manipulative. we have instructed her to limit her time on social media, and the caretaker alter soothes her to sleep when he has free time.

it’s quite important that people don’t, like, try to anger us because the persecutor might see it and worsen the situation. by might i mean 99% of the time because she’s extremely nosy.

Hi there, anon. DBT techniques were very handy for managing anger for us- perhaps they're worth looking into? It sounds like she is protecting your system in a maladaptive way- she's trying to keep you safe. Reassure her that you are, and an argument won't escalate to harm.

[plurals-helping-plurals]

sorry, but i am a singlet

my system friend was feeling really shitty yesterday and i asked the person in front if they wanted to switch out—they said yes but that they didnt know how.

i offered to use positive triggers to try and coax someone else to the front, and they told me to do it—i know i shouldn’t have

in any case, it worked, i applogised to the new fronter, and have apologised again to the whole system today—i shouldn’t have done that without permission from the alter in question

i just—needed to get that off my chest. i’m really scared that they won’t trust me anymore, which would be fair, and i shouldn’t make this about myself, but whenever i think about it i want to throw up

how do i make it up to them? is there anything i can do?

(im always scared that these asks won’t be set as an anon, so if it does have my user, please don’t include that when you answer—if you do answer)

It's okay, anon. It sounds like you're a great friend. If your friend gave you permission but the alter in question didn't, that's a communication failure on their side, not yours. If you've talked to the alter you offended and you've apologised, which you have, don't sweat it too much. You've tried your best and made an honest mistake and that's okay! Everyone's made mistakes.

[plurals-helping-plurals]

sorry for bothering you as i know the inbox is closed, but is this blog for things like "i need to figure out how to communicate with a HoH alter" or "how should i use no pronouns for a headmate in my heavily gendered language" or also stuff like explaining flow rates because school is very hard. sorry im just dumb.

This blog is primarily for plural related issues, not school problems- though I do sympathise. School is hard.

[plurals-helping-plurals]

hey, this is ghost, also from the pixie system (rhys and kaiya sent another ask a little while ago). i wanted to ask y'all another question because it's a bizarre concept to us. is it possible for an alter to "give birth" to another alter? we have a little who split from kaiya and we've all kinda collectively decided that kaiya is pidge's mother. just let us know what y'all think

- ghost (member of the pixie system)

Natalgenic is an established term for this phenomenon, if I'm reading your post correctly.

[plurals-helping-plurals]

Hi, so I'm like %99 sure I'm plural but we're not really comfy with being called a system and are wondering if you know any alternative words that mean very similar/the same thing!

Our system name came from a thesaurus. Things like pack, collective, group, any word for a group of people or animals are good places to start.

[plurals-helping-plurals]

hey we were wondering if you could help us figure out what kind of system we are? So we thought we were monoconscious because switching is more like becoming, except that those who aren't the main one fronting seem to still have independent thoughts and stuff like that (at least sometimes, but when we do games that are meant to specifically have headmates have different thoughts it doesn't work for some reason?). Does anyone else have a similar experience?

Hi there, anon, this sounds like us! We are semi monoconscious- think of it like a computer processor bring able to switch processing threads so fast they seem at the same time, but in reality they aren't. "Becoming" switches are pretty common as well. You may want to look at using semi mono/duo conscious, if you feel you don't fit "neatly"

- Damien

[plurals-helping-plurals]

Hey I have a question. It’s okay if an alter is brought up without trauma? I mean, imagine watching a show and then end up having a new headmate is that real or... idk I'm just too confuse, rn I have a UDD because my therapist barely said anything to me but I have a lot of face claims when I look on pinterest and I feel like faking u_u

Some systems have multiple origins- we have DID but experience members not from trauma as well. It is fine. It is okay, you are okay. If you didn't wake up this morning and decide to fake, you aren't faking. As for the face claims thing- just feeling kinship to a picture won’t necessarily mean you have an alter of them. Don’t stress yourself trying to "find" people, they will appear at their own rate.

- Damien

[plurals-helping-plurals]

I just learned the word facet. I think I’m a median system (it’s all new), there’s three of us and I’m the host (Idk if that’s the right word) but am I a facet too? I’m so confused

You don't have to be! A facet is one word for a part of a monoconscious median system that isn't separate from each other but if you don't like the word, you do not have to use it.

- Damien