#post-finem

[post-finem]

The Moon is Melting Over Me

The moon is melting over me

Their tears are running slow

Their liquid light is pooling

In the cracks between my bones

Kaleidoscopic colors

Cool the air inside my lungs

As the sweetness of the moonlight

Melts the thoughts behind my tongue

As I let them mold my fate

Into a shape they feel is fitting

Are they keeping me alive

Or are they keeping me from living?

[post-finem]

Driving Lessons

I couldn't grab the wheel before you hit her

I wasn't there when you drove off the side

You wanted me to drive you home in winter

But fought me when I made you let me drive

I don't know if you've ever driven sober

I don't know why I asked you for a ride

The horn that woke you up told me "it's over"

You hid behind the yellow in your eyes

Your dented truck has drug me through the oven

You called for me and I was by your side

I came so I could learn to make a living

I stayed 'cause I was keeping you alive

I told myself I'd pull you from the fire

But you kept driving further while I held

You told your friends that I was such a liar

And worried they were there at every bell

The gun was loaded on the couch for two days

The one your girlfriend stole was never found

The one your brother bought was out of pity

The ones the sheriff took came back around

I think I'm glad you aren't dead

I hope you'll be okay

I hope the men who broke your face

Regret it every day

I said you mean the world to me

You said "you're not a tranny, right?"

I lied and we both went to bed

You never said goodnight

[post-finem]

doodling cause I'm bored at work 🧹

[post-finem]

dread

I lie here in bed out of dread for tomorrow

I lie here and waste as the day slips away

I lie to my mother and tell her I'm sober

I lie on the floor like a weight I can't carry

[post-finem]

I don't have the words right now to describe how much this song means to me so I'll just say I'm not sure I've ever felt more seen than by Aes's music. His relationship with isolation, art, and mental illness resonates hard for me and his music has honestly been so important in processing my own shit and healing from a lot of trauma.

[post-finem]

bleed me dry and flush my veins

with kerosene to flood the night

with light that burns so hot and bright

the stars will never shine the same

melt my skin like paraffin

and find the fleshy mass inside

and bring it with you for the ride

and hide the bones within

never let the others see

the throbbing ashes left behind

the bastard daughter left to writhe

the monster that you made of me

[post-finem]

Putting words to paper

Pulling thoughts from tight-wound thread

As the fog grows ever thicker

In the forest of my head

As the wolves grow ever louder

Lurching toward the timid sheep

My restless eyes just flounder

'Till the dawn puts me to sleep

[post-finem]

Solitude

I'll let a little light inside

I want to be alone

I want to let the ivy grow

And crack the walls of this old home

Condemnation can't account

For countless souls that sleep inside

And whether moss grows in or out

The moths will always find the light

The moths may eat and chew and tear

Through cotton, cloak, and skin

But when I see the world out there

I gladly let them in

I let them cover canvas with the colors in their wings

I let them come inside and guide my fingers on the strings

I let them shred my vocal cords in fascinating shapes

And burn my hands with solder while rewiring my fate