#prince of asks

[gawain-sonata]

What is your gender?

i’m genderfluid.

pronouns are kinda all over the place but usually they/them is good enough.

[gawain-sonata]

Hey, I just wanted to let you know, you gave the the confidence and courage to come out as genderfluid. I don't feel ashamed, even when my family chooses to ignore it. Because if you're out there being like this and being unapologetic, then there's no need for me to not do the same. You opened up a freedom I thought I'd never find. So, thank you. Thank you so much.

i’m crying a little. i’m so proud of you <3 i’m so glad i was able to inspire that confidence in you. i feel really insignificant a lot but man it’s really incredible how i touch people without really knowing.

keep being unapologetic, my darling genderfluid sibling!

[gawain-sonata]

Hey Mac! I was wondering if you have any advice about telling people about a name you've chosen or a nickname you're going to go by. I've told a dew people and brought it up before, but I'm not sure where to go from here. Thank you so much for answering! It really means a lot! :)

In a classroom, it’s as easy as telling the teacher on the first day. They commit to one name immediately, but still know what my name is on the attendance.

Unfortunately some people aren’t willing to make an effort to call you something else. A lot of my coworkers call me Mac, but one of my managers said that she couldn’t be able to call me something else because it’s who I am. Which is just poor effort on her part but if we do hire another girl with my name again I’m gonna insist that people call me Mac instead. We had three Lynns once and one of them started going by their middle name to make it easier. It’s just like... people and what they think is convenient is aggravating.

Otherwise, as far as like my family, who are pretty accepting and hoo shit my dad actually called me Mac finally for the first time to get my attention (big step big step) I just explained it to them that it’s gotta be as easy as how my mom went from Missy in her childhood to Michelle as an adult in the working world. My brother has been Matt forever and he still doesn’t go by Matthew tbh. 

Mac is a new chapter in my life and sure we’re gonna trip up on it but it’s the same thing as marrying with a new last name. Instead I get a new first name. 

I’m really new at this and I’m still getting used to the classroom aspect because I was Mikayla my entire life in academe.

idk if this helped at all.

[gawain-sonata]

How the fuck. DO you forget you have a brother???????????????????

very easily? have you ever had a family member in your life that was really distant from you due to an age gap, priorities, activities, interests, and distance?

i’m four and a half years younger than him. when we were younger i was too young to be someone he would include a lot during his hangouts etc i couldn’t be friends with his friends because they were all gross young boys with maturing frontal lobes and it was annoying to have me around because i was a responsibility and not a friend

when he was in high school, i was in middle school, and he was never home because he was with his friends. he was at a sports practice or on a trip or working. i never saw him except when i went to all of his sports games to watch him from afar.

when i was in high school, he moved away three hours to go to college. i saw him a couple times a year, but he never texted or called me while he was there. and because of how i felt, i never thought i could just message him and then eventually i forgot he existed. plus he probably only one time made the effort to come home to one of my track meets

then he graduated and he lived with us for a year paying off all of his loans then now he’s got his own house, is married, and i maybe see him one a month for a few minutes and yeah we still never text or call each other.

it’s not like i want to forget he exists. it’s also not that he hates me and wants nothing to do with me. it’s just that we’re so uninvolved with each others lives that we’ve never had a normal sibling relationship.

[gawain-sonata]

I do not mean to sound offensive. But would the concept of female and male be like left and right hands? Both are the same, yet are seperate S. So! Gender fluid would mean... Being ambidextrous?

Hey it’s not offensive if you’re asking for an analogy that helps clarify something that you don’t personally experience! Or maybe you do, and you’re looking for a way to explain it. It’s all good either way.

It does make sense to compare those two things to male and female since they belong to a binary. As far as the male and female binary goes, they’re two standard categories that have been ultimately defined over time by the physical sex characteristics of humans, and then cultural and societal roles are then applied to each human based on their sex characteristics as they easily fit into one category or the other.

So in a binary sense, male could be left hand and female could be right hand. They’re similar because at the base they’re human appendages, but a human typically has a firmer neurological control over one hand than the other. Thus the right-handedness or left-handedness being as it is representing these binary genders. After conditioning one arm over the other for fine motor skills, a person is more likely to continue ONLY using that arm/hand for specific purposes like writing or sports etc. And after a certain point they can’t seem to understand how conditioning the other arm into doing the same things would even work. Someone being ambidextrous is an excellent play on genderfluidity, having the ability to assume command of both hands with usually the same degree of motor control on each hand.

However, it leaves out some parts of the genderfluid experience. When I first saw this this morning, my first thought was that SOMETIMES within this analogy, a genderfluid person might actually use their foot to do something. Outside of this analogy, I actually have the ability to bend my toes and use them to precisely pick up something off of the ground or open a doorknob. So inside of analogy, there is a standard for precise grips and motor control in hands (and that could be the binary genders) and then as in a genderfluid experience, sometimes a person feels as though they have no gender or a gender that operates outside of the binary spectrum, and this could be where someone uses their foot instead of their hands. A lot of people can’t bend their toes or they can, but most people wouldn’t acknowledge this muscle control being important.

I have a lot more to say about this. It’s really fascinating and I’m actually glad this was brought to my attention as an analogy. It could be expanded to include more genders than binary male/female and genderfluid.

[gawain-sonata]

YOU'RE A FUCKING GIRL, THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GENDERFLUID. YOU HAVE A VAGINA.

lmao joke’s on you sweaty :) because gender is socially conditioned

p.s. you ain’t ever seen me naked you can’t know that i have a vagina. for all you know i could have a penis, or testes and a vagina but still look very feminine due to my chromosomal dna and hormone levels

[gawain-sonata]

Your new outfit makes you look like fire nation royalty A++

that’s what @strider-inquire said. i’m diggin’ this idea, ya’ll.

[gawain-sonata]

Gosh I always see you cosplaying Dirk and now all I can imagine is Dirk in that dress lol... But you look amazing in that dress! ~(03<)~ kisses Josh 💙

dirk can’t wear this dress it’s mine. he can get his own hot housewife dress.

thanks for the compliments though omfg i’m flattered, dude