I truly cannot wrap my head around an argument for how some thoughts are always and inherently bad and wrong and immoral even if never acted upon, Because They Just Are.
It’s counter to everything I have ever been taught in therapy and inpatient, particularly regarding OCD, and it’s also just... Completely incompatible with my worldview and life experience.
The only person my thoughts can hurt is myself, and that’s only if I let them.
I suffered for years and years because I would have thoughts of hurting other people and then believe those thoughts were, in and of themselves, bad. No, not just bad. They were sinful thoughts. I was taught to hate is to kill in the heart, but I hated my abusers, so I must have been worse than them, right, for breaking one of God’s commandments?
Who will punish me for my bad and sinful thoughts, gone unconfessed? God? If so perhaps he has a lazy eye for not seeing them.
If you never confessed these thoughts and never acted on them either, no one would know! Even if you really struggled. Even if they tormented you and kept you up at night and hurt no one but yourself. Which... You should be allowed to talk about troubling thoughts without judgement, too, I think. You should be allowed to seek help for them, no matter what they are, if it is what you want for yourself and what will bring you fulfillment.
Acting as though some thoughts are innately tainted by sin helps no one but those already in power. Free yourself from guilt. Treat yourself gently.