For @pillarspromptsweekly #0065: Iovara, fire, knowledge
Also on AO3
Content warning for torture.
-
Iovara is the reason she joins the missionaries in the first place.
Athanasia walks past this corner of Creitum every day during her daily errands, and near every day she sees the dark haired elf preaching on the corner, fire in her eyes. Her mother does not know what to make of these new gods, but Athanasia is willing to listen.
She listens to the judgment of Woedica. The forgiveness of Eothas. The cycles of Berath. But mostly she listens to the elven priestess whose passion burns so brightly. Athanasia comes to love the gods. But she loved Iovara first.
-
Iovara is the easiest and most difficult person to love at the same time. She exudes charisma. Everyone wants to talk to her, listen to her. But when everyone loves Iovara, when does Iovara have time to love Athanasia?
They find time. Stolen kisses between services. Warming each other’s feet in the night. It is with Iovara that Athanasia comes to know what lovers can do. What love itself is. And yet…
They grow apart as they grew together. As Athanasia finds more and more faith in the gods, devotes herself to Berath, Iovara starts to withdraw. Athanasia tries to chase her, but it’s like chasing the sun. For a short time, the sun had turned its warmth to her face and she will always cherish that time. Slowly, she stops running. She turns further toward Berath. She starts falling out of love.
-
Later, Athanasia is offended at Iovara trying to convince her to leave. At the time, she is just confused. Heartbroken.
“I have proof,” Iovara says “Evidence. The gods aren’t real. The Engwithans constructed them.”
But if the gods aren’t real, than who has Athanasia been hearing when she talks to Berath? The gods’ power is unquestionable. She worries for Iovara.
“I can’t stay here,” Iovara says. “I can’t live like this. People need to know the truth.”
“What truth is that? A truth of an empty existence? A truth that ignores what we see in front of our eyes?”
“A truth that will set us free.”
“I don’t want to be free. I want you here with me.” Athanasia curses the tears that build up in her eyes. It’s been so long since she and Iovara have been together, and now Iovara chooses to make a mockery of their relationship. Make her choose between her and everything she used to stand for.
Iovara had taught Athanasia to love. Athanasia would always treasure that. But she also taught her how to love the gods. And now Iovara leaves her behind.
-
When Thaos offers Athanasia the chance to bring down Iovara she accepts. Iovara has turned her back on their world, openly flouts it. She is dangerous. A firebrand. A deceiver. A sinner. Iovara cannot be allowed to continue.
Iovara receives Athanasia warmly. More warmly than anyone else, more warmly than she has any reason to after how they left off, and more warmly than she should considering what Athanasia is here to do. Iovara is so ready to believe Athanasia has been swayed to her side. Athanasia is no longer blinded by love, but maybe Iovara is. Or maybe Iovara is so convinced she’s in the right that it’s inconceivable that someone else could have failed to come to the same conclusion.
What Athanasia can understand and Iovara cannot is that you cannot compel everyone to agree with you by presenting them with “facts.” There are always more layers to the situation. More repercussions to the situation. Athanasia does not want to live in a world where Iovara is right.
So she feels no guilt convincing Iovara to go to Ossionus.
-
Athanasia is given the task of breaking Iovara. Maybe it’s a test. Maybe it’s supposed to be an honor. Athanasia is past the point of sentiment. Iovara is another heretic—the worst heretic—so she tries to tell herself this is just another routine job.
Iovara screams like any other. Iovara bleeds like any other. But Iovara will not break like any other.
Maybe this is not routine. Maybe Athanasia is angrier.
“Why don’t you repent? You could be free of this place.”
Iovara hung lashed to the iron wheel. Her limbs, mangled, broken in several places. Her torso falls at an unnatural angle, perhaps her spine is broken. She still manages to laugh. “I have nothing to repent for. If you want to be free of me than kill me.”
Athanasia’s vision clouds. “Then your soul escapes its due punishment.”
“Don’t you question? What the gods ask you to do? Why is my soul condemned for asking questions while yours is pure from torture? The gods support this? Have you asked yourself what they’re trying to hide?”
Athanasia turned to her table of instruments, trying to calm her beating heart as she decided what to employ next. “You were the reason I’m here. You were the brightest believer, Iovara.”
“Then haven’t you asked yourself what it must have taken to change that?”
“I’ve spoken to Berath. They’re real. No matter what you say, no matter what you claim they came from.” Athanasia’s hand fell upon the torch. “They are my gods. And if you would just understand that…” Athanasia stuck a match. The torch flared.
“I said, will you repent?” Iovara screamed as the flame met the side of her face. Flesh roiled and bubbled, charring, scaring.
It was poetic, how flame could touch the firebrand.
-
Iovara never broke. Athanasia couldn’t break her. Thaos himself couldn’t break her. Athanasia is almost proud. Her former lover is strong. Obstinately misguided, but strong.
But it was this obstinance that seals her fate. Iovara has denied the gods, so she will never be allowed to face them.
Athanasia is invited to Iovara’s binding. She has never been in Breith Eaman before, has barely heard whispers of the place. She is certain Thaos trusts her now. Or maybe, a small part of her whispers, he is trying to scare her away from the path of Iovara.
If that is his intent, then maybe he should have chosen another way. Athanasia has never lent credence to Iovara’s claims that kith could create gods, but gods did not build machines. And kith should not move souls.
It is only as Iovara’s soul is locked in adra for all eternity that Athanasia begins to wonder if she wasn’t wrong.
-
Centuries later, a Watcher stands in front of Iovara’s soul, tears streaming down her face. Breith Eaman, this perversity to the cycle, and this is her fault. She remembers. She remembers the creak of the wheel, the heat of the flame. A warm, slow kiss from ages past.
“I am so sorry.” Cal attempts to blink back the tears, drops stuck on her lashes. “This was wrong, all wrong.”
Iovara smiles, and Cal’s vision is layered with memory of the warmth of that smile. “I have forgiven you long ago. I could never truly hate you, my love.”
“No, you don’t understand. This never should have happened. I never should have let them put you here. You shouldn’t have had to live with this.” The sense of certainty grew, and Cal knew what she must do. “I can free you. From all of this.”
“I am past the point of freeing, Athanasia. This is where I will reside until the world falls away into dust. And I will laugh, knowing I am right.”
“No, I mean I can free you from the knowledge you never should have been burdened with in the first place.” Cal steps forward, reaching out to Iovara’s soul. “Be at peace, Iovara.”
Iovara attempts to shrink back, “No, you have learned nothing, I cannot–”
And with a twist of the soul, Calendula wipes Iovara’s memory. The fire burns out.
