#protector soup

[aeternaluminanoctis]

Venting about derealization

Everyone wants to "be a system" until being a system means having two nightmares back to back that are so jarring that we quite literally could not tell what was the difference between the dreams and real life and spiraled immediately into rejection sensitive dysphoria.

It's all "you have friends in your head! That's so cool" until we are so fucking out of it that even all of our protectors and caregivers can't help so we are just lying in bed, switching and in emotional turmoil for hours until we inevitably fall back asleep due to exhaustion. OVER A DREAM.

It's wonderful knowing it's already noon and we've spent half the day dissociating and depressed to the point we haven't left our bed once. So great! /sar

[aeternaluminanoctis]

We called our insurance. Have to wait 30 days for results. Barely stable enough to go to work but we have to because we need the money.

If these thirty days go by and we don't get results we are just going to check ourselves into the hospital. They'll have to do something then, right?