Summary: The civil war goes on and the royal wedding is at hand. But you didn't expect your father to plot behind your back.
Time passed with only Aemond's breathing and your own to fill the silence of the room, as you took comfort in his presence next to you, sometimes hearing him praise your beauty as he was drawing patterns onto your soft skin while you laughed at the tickling feeling it gave you. He laughed with you, and it was the first time you've seen him do that since you've gone to Dragonstone all of those months ago. You were happy at that moment.
Sounds soon were heard from outside of the room and you froze. You gathered them to be songs chanted by nobles who were taking a stroll into the moonlight, drunk from the feast. Aemond saw you shiver from the coldness of the air, the skin under his fingers glowing from your previous act. He reluctantly decided that it was time to return to the festivities before anyone notices your absence, your scent on his skin a slight consolation at your parting.
But the idea of returning to the festivities was quickly abandoned. In his lust, Aemond had ruined your dress completely, and you were left with doning it as well as you could and finding a piece of clothing to envelop yourself with. Fortunately, as Aemond accompanied you back to your chambers, no one crossed your path, you sighed in relief. Mostly because if by chance, or rather misfortune, someone had seen you in his state, you were not sure the fate Aemond would have inflicted upon the poor soul.
In the safety of your room, you turned to see Aemond gaze at you, words hanging from his lips on the threshold but not taking form. But he only smiled at you, bid you goodnight in inclining his head slightly before departing, heat lighter. But you decided otherwise.
"Aemond wait, I need to confess something to you," It was as much a good time as any other. You have never seen him in such a good mood of late.
He backtracked, now curious, awaiting for you to speak. You could not back down now.
"When I left for Dragonstone, after the twins' birth, it was not only for the opportunity to see the Velaryons and study. It was because of... you. And Helaena."
Nothing on Aemond's face indicated that he was mad, or even happy for that matter. He was looking intensely at you, very still. You continued.
"I betrayed you," you admitted. "I betrayed you because I did not trust you, although you were my friend and you've always been honest with me." You were now clutching at the fabric of the cloth around you, your gaze directed at the floor. "When I met the twins, I doubted, and when you assured me that they were not... that they were not yours I still-."
You swallowed, not capable of finishing your sentence, and when you found the courage to continue your voice was firmer than before. "I still doubted you, because I felt betrayed. I didn't know what to do, you were one of the reasons that made me happy and when these thoughts started to cloud my mind I felt lost, and I didn't find any other solution than to put distance between Helaena and me. Between you and me."
Tears filled your eyes now, you still would not look at him, staring at his doublet that was now heaving with each of the breaths he took.
"What I mean to say is-" you tried in a trembling voice. " I was wrong, I was so very wrong, I know now that you were honest, as you've always been with me and that I was a fool not to trust you. But I will never betray you this way again, it made us lose too much. I regret it so dearly."
A beat passed in silence, before you finally felt him move, inhaling sharply and looking around him quickly, shaking his head in disapproval before you could feel him report his gaze to you.
" This is the reason? This is why you abandoned me a year ago?" he said, lowly at first, but you felt his hot breath on your skin like a punishment as he came closer to you. "You silly, silly thing, you-" You felt him trying to take control of his emotions, to remain calm as he was once again taking a deep shaking breath. "You truly believed that I would disgrace my sister in such a manner? Do you not know me? At all? And as a result of your foolishness you just, decided to leave?"
"Pardon me for my naivety, but you were always quite protective of her, quite fond of her too-"
"She is my sister! She is a kind soul and is married to the foulest one I know," he said in a hushed voice, flattening his fists into the door behind you in a controlled anger, making you lift your head to his chest, water filling your eyes.
"It has always been you Y/N! Was it not obvious? All those times we've spent together? I was so jealous of Helaena growing up, being the one to get to have you around at all times as I was forced to suffer my cousin's and brother's farces.” Then his voice went softer, longing. “Although I could not resent her as I could never resent you.”
He realised that he could not bear seeing you this sad, instantly easing his hold on the door to bring a finger on your cheek, his anger abating.
"And you are wrong. I've not always been honest with you. If I had been, I would never have let you leave for Dragonstone, no matter the cost. I was just so disturbed at the idea of losing you that I did not know how to react as I felt you slowly escaping my company."
His gaze was fixed somewhere between your neck and your hair, playing absently with it, his voice only a murmur. "If I had stopped you from leaving, many things would've been different. If I had made you stay, maybe I would never have gone to Storm's End, fulfilling my duty. And we would not be in that situation."
You didn't want him to speak further of Storm's End, as you knew that his regret went beyond his marriage to the Baratheon girl, and you would not let him dwell on his guilt over Lucerys’ death.
"I'm here now," you reached for his cheek, your fingers grazing at his scar again, like you did in the courtyard of the Stag’s castle. You smiled at the recollection. "As you once said, what is done is done, we can only move forward, and I will not doubt you again, please believe me."
He watched you, and you saw his look of guilt slowly fade behind his eye as he leaned to kiss you tenderly, his anger at you completely gone. You placed your hands on either side of his head, before he broke the kiss and held you in a tight embrace, his head resting on the top of your head.
"I swear I will not make you feel like you did ever again, I will preserve you from this pain."
With these words he dropped a kiss on your hair, detached himself from you and disappeared into the stairs. You felt cold in the dark corridor now as you tried to believe his last words, since the future was filled with trials that you feared, would make you precisely very miserable.
The next morning, you were reading a book in front of a mirror while your maid, who had come to help you prepare, brushed your hair carefully. The book in question was a story you knew by heart if you were to tell the truth, only because it was special. It was the first one Aemond had lent you after you first arrived in King's Landing, finding each other a common ground on your likeness for reading. The cover was damaged because of the obstination to carry it everywhere you travelled to, only leaving it behind when you had gone to Dragonstone.
As you read, you felt the maid behind you stop her brushing and her body tense, and when you looked up from your book and into the mirror you saw her gaze transfixed on your neck, where teeth marks and love bites were reddening the skin there. You stood up at once in hidden panic, and dismissed the poor girl who was now ashamed that she had stared, assuring her that you would dress yourself.
Once alone you passed your fingers over the marks, smiling slightly. Was it wrong of you not to feel guilty at the discovery of your maid? You didn't know but you could get used to the trace of him on you. If you weren’t so afraid for his reputation, yours and that of your house, you would have worn them like a pride. The morning passed with you mostly reading after deciding to let your hair down in order to hide your neck, and went out to eat with your father.
He was unusually quiet and it was rare that you did not eat with the company of your brother, your mother, unable to travel because of her health for many years, still at Deep Den. You felt your body tense, dread spreading across it as you braced yourself for the conversation that would follow.
He made you understand that he was to talk to you about an important matter. You waited expectantly as he finally said his piece, announcing that he had settled a marriage arrangement to a young lord of a Dornish house you've never heard of.
"It is a neutral House, not involved in the current civil war and who should not be in the future either. This is for your protection, this will keep you away from harm."
You were shocked. Your father never talked about marriage, especially yours as he seemed that he was quite fond of having you at his side. And now he talked about sending you away.
"Away from harm? But I am protected here! This is the Red Keep, dragons are laying in the Dragon Pit as we speak!" you argued.
"Yes but there are dragons outside as well!" he almost yelled before lowering his voice. "But this is not the outside threats that concerns me, it is here, in this very castle," you said nothing as you bit your lip and waited for him to continue. "You know of my allegiance, my real allegiance. I have a plan to return home, wait in inaction for a while before lending my strength to the Queen, the true Queen," he said as if he feared the walls had ears. "I have waited long enough, the people of the court will not see my departure as suspicious, and yours will happen too quickly for them to realise, or to care."
You doubted it greatly. But you could not hold back the feeling of betrayal that coursed through you now. "So you will send me away, for the rest of my life on a decision I had no say in, with little possibility of return? You will withdraw a lady of the Red Keep right under the royal family's nose in hope they do not realise your plan to defect? I've grown up here!"
Your father looked at you for a moment, as if considering your arguments in order to better confront them, but he changed his mind.
"It is done. I have sent letters, you will travel to Sandstone soon enough and meet your future husband who will take care of you and treat you as your rank deserves."
"What does that mean?" you asked, pain and anger in your voice.
"You know what that means," he said quickly, as if it was evident. "Do you think me so blind as to not notice? You are a recurrent talk among the people of the court, and I will not have them question your virtue over this Kinslayer! At least your marriage will put an end to all of this."
You stood up, your chair racking against the floor in a shrieking sound. You glared at him furiously, tears falling down from your eyes, your hands into fists, stared at him in silence and turned away in a whirl of your dress. You took care in slamming the door behind you as hard as you could. You felt betrayed.
Aemond was tired and disappointed, if not quite furious.
He was sitting at the table in the small council chambers, playing with the blue orb that granted him his place at the council, half listening to what was said. He had only returned from a tiring journey on Vhagar, having left without Aegon who was still kept close by the maesters and their mother.
He had met with the allied armies in the Reach, having received word that the Blacks were in the region and advancing further into the Crownlands. However, Aemond had arrived too late, finding the Greens retreated in a fortress, more than a half of their numbers decimated, the Blacks long gone.
He had gone against the war council's decision to go to the Reach, eager to meet the Blacks in battle despite his grandfather intent to handle this with care. But he had been utterly irritated when he arrived too late and had, in his wrath, scolded the retreating Greens and almost violently punished one of their commanders for his cowardice.
Aemond was feared, he knew it, his deeds at Storm's End being mostly responsible, and he knew that he could use it, even to motivate his own troops, if Vhagar was not enough. People were whispering that he was mad, and that he grew more bloodthirsty as the civil war went on. They were not completely wrong.
So he had flown back to King's Landing with the news, angering his brother and making his grandfather think of new strategies to confront the Blacks who were getting closer. Aemond had paid little attention, angered by his failure and by his brother's inequation at ruling properly as he was just barking obvious arguments at members of the councils. Aemond was unwilling to participate in his brother's demonstration of "force" until the talks around the table evolved into lesser matters.
His marriage was mentioned once, his mother informing the assembly that it would be delayed once again due to the current circumstance, eliciting a scoff from him. This marriage was granting them the Baratheron armies already, and he was confident that until he was to marry Cassandra, much will have changed. Moreover, he had no intention to marry her if he could help it, but he kept it for himself for now.
He now was seriously considering leaving the room, having not slept much in a long time and feeling the need to escape such uninteresting subjects, as the conversation now turned around the possibility of marrying Daeron off to make new alliances, but then he heard your name.
"Apparently, Lord Lydden is on good terms with House Qorgyle of Sandstone," spoke the Master of Whisperers. Larys Strong always knew more than he let on and always chose his moments to reveal them. Right now, he was making a point at not looking at the Prince.
"As you know, Dorne has remained unresponsive to our demands and to those of the Blacks, staying forever neutral. The marriage of his daughter to the young Lord of Qorgyle seems to me like a mere attempt to further claim his cowardice, as the Lord did not clearly submit the service of his house to our cause, weak as it may be," he stated, clearly doubting Lady Y/N’s father's loyalty to their side.
Aemond was staring so hard at Larys that he could have made a hole in his skull, and he had stopped playing with the orb in his hand.
The members of the Council were all listening to Larys Strong respectfully, considering the implications of his words, and careful not to look at their Prince's direction at the end of the table, afraid to meet his gaze. Only Tyland Lannister, as the ruler of the Westlands, seemed uncomfortable at his subject's action. But still, Aemond sensed his mother's uncomfortable and furtive glances at him while Aegon shamelessly looked at him like he was the next performer at an entertainment show, a smirk on his lips, waiting for his brother to snap.
"Well, it is a good thing. Lady Y/N is a good match and her betrothal is long due, it will do her good." His mother said, talking loudly enough as in fear that someone would interrupt her. "Although Helaena will lose a friend, I am glad for her. And as to her father, he and House Lydden have proven loyal until now, I see no reason to doubt him, he only wishes for his daughter's best interests."
Alicent's words barely finished, Aemond had already stood up and stormed out of the room, not waiting to be dismissed.
He needed to think. He needed to calm his wrath, and he needed to find a way to shut the feeling that was flowing into his being because right now, he was not in control, and he hated it. He did not expect to react this way, he would not let his feelings get the upper hand.
... wait, no need to look at those. Nothing to see here. We only mean to keep you protected and very loved. You know, give you a life of lavish luxury and all that. Let us take care of you and give lots of belly rubs. n__n,, You'd like that, wouldn't you? Huh? Huh? You'd love that, wouldn't you? ♡
