any advice for an aroallo whos questioning being on the aplatonic spectrum?
I think it depends on some specifics: there's a lot of ways to be aplatonic!
I'd say first off, it's good to evaluate YOUR personal experience with friendship, platonic attraction, and platonic love - how do you personally feel about it? It's easy to start off questioning by comparing yourself against others or trying to measure up, but I feel from personal experience it tends to prolong or confuse things. While goimg off the testimony for others can be useful for starting out, don't hold yourself to the standard you MUST be like them or you aren't aplatonic.
Second, consider what relationship you want to have going forward with friendship and other platonic things; just because you've been friending in the past doesn't mean that you have to continue to be friending in the future if you feel you're more comfortable that way. Every apl's experience will be completely different from the next, even if they look similar from a distance; if you still want to personally keep friends, of you're undecided, or if it depends on the day, this is all up to you.
Third, research is great, but don't feel beholden to walking the well-trodden path. If you feel specific labels or identities aren't quite right, don't force on a shoe that's uncomfortable to wear. Sometimes, ambiguity is a comfortable place to be!
Fourth, it's okay to be wrong! Never go into questioning with the idea this has to be permanently binding! Identity is fluid and hard to pinpoint sometimes. Letting go of the expectation of permanence can relieve a lot of stress on needing to make an often-thought-to-be permanent decision.
And, finally, it is COMPLETELY up to you who you tell or what you do with your identity. As with gender, sexuality, and other things, nobody is owed the details or disclosure of your aplspec identity. Only come out when you are safe in the company of safe people! It is very unfortunate, but it does happen where people come out to aplphobic people close to them because they feel obligated, and they end up hurt from it. If you are considering coming out, maybe ask the people you intend to come out to their opinions beforehand; try to obtain a snapshot of their opinions, and feel free to offer info if you have the energy. All this considered, you never have to tell anyone; it is never going to be a must. Be safe if you do, be safe if you don't.
