You did not go quietly into that dark night.
Your heart beat one hundred and fifty times a minute
Until three am on April twenty-third, twenty-sixteen.
Four floors up the biggest hospital I’ve ever been in
The biggest city I’d ever been in
Still in my pajamas, shuttled over by a tired cop
From our sixth floor hotel room where looking up revealed only more building
And I couldn’t see the stars
I made sure you didn’t go quietly into that dark night
I made sure my lungs ached and my throat was raw
And I went to sleep hoping it was a dream
Tonight I visited your grave, lying peacefully beside my grandmother
In a cemetery so quiet that I could hear the upset dog barking outside the nearest house
Over the sound of me talking with my friends by the slab that marks your place
And tonight I went softly into the twilight
And laid daffodils on the cool stone in a plastic bottle
And when the bugs started biting, I drove us home
And tonight I stared at the stars I’d missed so keenly six years ago
And followed them inside to a bright kitchen
To join my brother and mother, three dogs and a cat and a rabbit
I took a pull from my little brother’s cone and let it sit on my tongue
And sat on the floor to let their voices fill me
And even though the kitchen is quiet and empty now
I can feel you settled on my shoulders like a blanket
But I’ll make myself a cup of tea
I’ll send your old messenger a few ‘I love you’s
I’ll watch the stars for as long as the dogs let me
But I think I can let the night go quietly, now