#qveenzcl

[polcris]

“Crazy lady with a shovel!”

Howl’s Moving Castle sentence pack. // accepting !!

     “ --- you talking about yourself, or the one with the red hair, or someone else i can’t see ?? either way, if it’s metal, i can handle it. ”

[frcnkxcastles]

note (karenSJDKSFngdfnksdljgksjKJKSDGS)

Karen,

I think we both saw this coming. Men like me, we don’t get to live out long lives on some countryside. We don’t get to die of old age in our sleep. I’m sure whatever finally got me, it was violent and painful. 

I’m sure I had it coming.

You didn’t. That’s my biggest regret, in all this. I’ve never been afraid of dying. I think you knew that. I’ve cheated death enough times that being scared of it would be stupid. I’m not afraid of dying, but I’m damn sorry you’re gonna have to go through it. I’d tell you not to mourn if I thought it’d do any good, but you’d never listen.

I didn’t deserve what you gave me. You believed in me when nobody else did, treated me like a person when the rest of the world treated me like a monster. Tried to understand me when everyone else gave up. I can’t thank you enough for that. 

And I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better man for you. I’m sorry I couldn’t live up to who you wanted me to be. I’m sorry I kept pulling that trigger, even when you asked me to stop. I wish I could have, for you. Never would have admitted it while I was still breathing, but I damn sure wish I could have. 

I wanted to be someone deserving of your faith in me. Someone you could be proud of, you know? I couldn’t quite manage it. Hell, I think I could’ve lived a thousand years and I still wouldn’t have had enough time to make myself into someone who deserved you. I think I would have liked to try.

I like to think you made me a little better, in the time we knew each other. I was a mess when we met. Everything was still so fresh, you know? I still heard that trigger click every time the world went quiet, still had a part of me that never woke up from my time in that hospital. You changed that. You woke me up. Gave me some of myself back. I still don’t know how you did it.

I hope this letter gives you some comfort. Something to lean on. I’m too smart to hope you never have to read it, so I’ll just say that I hope it helps when you do. If you need to hate me, I get that. I probably deserve that. Whatever you need, whatever you feel, it’s okay. It’s all right. You do what you need to do.

Thank you for everything.

Frank.