Do they make you feel like shit because they're the problem or you're the problem?

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Do they make you feel like shit because they're the problem or you're the problem?
My heart is heavy thinking about
those folk in our trusted communities of color who talk good game about uplifting, supporting and loving POC but will refuse to be accountable for the pain and fuckery they spread in their romantic and social lives. Let's be real, and realer yet about how we treat each other please and thanks in advance.