#radley diary

[crazylittlemona-blog]

Crazy Mona Diary: Radley Sanitarium, Day 64

That annoying patient Ryan randomly showed up in my room again today. I mean sure, my door was open but I don't recall inviting him in. Such a rude guy. 

I was holding my Sybil doll and brushing her hair and he randomly sat down next to me on my bed. And then he started asking all these questions, like what the doll's name is. I didn't say a word, all I did was give him the why-are-you-talking-to-me-like-I'm-a-retard look. He got the idea. But unfortunately he also got another idea - which was to take my doll out of my hands!

I freaked. I even blacked out for a second and then I literally started screaming my lungs out. He was completely shocked and dropped my Sybil doll on the floor. Lisa and 2 other nurses rushed into my room and gave me a tranquilizer. Ryan ran out and when I noticed one of the nurses accidentally stepped on my doll I completely lost it... 

It took me a while to calm down and when I did I just sat down in a corner of my room. The 2 nurses left, but Lisa stayed in my room, trying to keep me calm. I was shaking..

After about an hour she brought me some tea and helped me get to bed. I fell asleep and when I woke up I saw Sybil holding my Sybil doll. I noticed my doll looked as good as new again so I felt really calm.

But Ryan needs to go. One way or another.

[crazylittlemona-blog]

Crazy Mona Diary: Radley Sanitarium, Day 61

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes this morning was my new Sybil doll. She was sleeping in my bed. I didn't want to put her in the children's ward because she's my favorite doll now and deserves some special treatment.

Eddie Lamb showed up today. In other words - I managed to sneak out for several hours because he never really cares where I am or what I'm doing. So I took my Sybil doll and we went to Brookhaven.

I wanted Sybil to see all of those special places I've been to recently. We stopped by Vail's Doll Hospital. I noticed no one was there so we quickly went to the basement. I wanted my doll to have something special. I saw a doll-sized black hoodie and took it. We're on the -A team now, how cool is that?

So then we went to that abandoned school I always go to. We went to the first floor and found a bright classroom with a lot of broken windows. I sat down to play with her.

After a few hours I saw a knife on the floor and it reminded me of that dream with Noel.. I suddenly felt uncomfortable so we went back to Radley. I didn't really feel the need to go to the children's ward at all, because I'm happy as long as I can keep my Sybil doll in my room.

[crazylittlemona-blog]

Crazy Mona Diary: Radley Sanitarium, Day 48

I have to say I'm really grateful to Lisa because she's not only been nicer to me but she's doing these pretty little things to make me happier. She brought me a few magazines, my favorite tea with my meds instead of just water, and even extra pillows this morning.

I had a couple of weird dreams though, the first dream was about me being at Noel's place and I was not only hallucinating but I had the most severe case of depersonalization, so it was kind of like a dream in a dream. But that wasn't the weirdest dream from last night - in the second dream my leg literally fell off and I told my mom about it, even though I kind of fixed it myself somehow. And then the next morning I woke up in the hospital and apparently my mom took me there because she was concerned about my leg. One of the nurses then tried to convince me to agree for them to actually cut it off because apparently it would be the best option. I then started yelling at everyone and begging them to just let me go home... then I went out of the room I was in and noticed everyone in the hallway either just had one leg or none at all. That just freaked me out so I immediately started searching for a room where I didn't feel disturbed, and I thought I found one. The nurses in that room were just talking about a bunch of things that were disturbing to me as well, so I started screaming and begging them to just let me go, and when my mom showed up again I literally begged her to put me in a mental institution instead. Weird.

I guess it's dreams like these that remind me that I could be lying in a hospital with one leg instead of here in Radley, with all my limbs and sanity. I'm definitely grateful for that....