Omg I haven’t had a post like this in a minute but I miss y’all being my diary so I want to talk about something that was inspired by a conversation I had with my sister.
I love that apart of being a femme is you express femininity the way you want to whether it’s traditional or dramatic or just different. That’s being said I’ve never really expressed my femininity I mean I’ve never been overtly masculine but I’ve been made to feel so, so now that I’ve found myself it still feels odd like it’s not natural. I often feel myself looking at people with any identifiers and being so upset just wishing I could be as natural as them. I think apart of it is I’ve never actually felt attractive to myself or others and if I was it was out of sexualization.
How I view my femininity is pink, black womanhood, loud (colors, patterns etc…), expressive, showing skin, nature, maximalism, fairies, princesses, beach, and things I can’t describe and sometimes it’s different cause I’ll cover up idk.
Apart of this is harder because I have no lesbian friends in real life and we already know how isolating lesbianism is especially as a young person. I just want to find a way to express my femininity and not feel like I’m not putting it on? Like it’s my default I guess. I know femininity is more than appearance but it’s how I validate myself because on the inside I just don’t feel it? Like I feel it but it’s hard to push out, at my core I’m feminine and a femme lesbian but it’s just hard…it’ll come with time🩷
