#rank anon

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Not a ranking but some thoughts on the twst characters and porn

Riddle: DOES NOT WATCH PORN AT ALL. He thinks it’s completely inappropriate even in private and the thought embarrasses him too much. The kind of guy who wouldn’t even know what to look for. I think he if ever did jerk off to something it would be something embarrassing and soft core. Like, 50’s pin ups you could have on your wall soft core.

Trey: does watch porn, probably pretty often tbh. I feel like he has a preference for povs. Prefers homemade stuff bc he finds most porn shot in a studio tacky and overdone

Cater: doesn’t actually watch porn that much, he’d rather use his own imagination (Or his clones but we aren’t gonna talk about that) He does probably have a couple favorite actors he sticks too when he does watch it tho. I feel like he’d have a think for tattoos?

Ace: definitely watches porn lmao. And it’s the corny “oh no I am stuck in this random hole in the wall, whatever will I do” or “I’m sorry mr pizza delivery man, I don’t have any money” type shit. He has zero taste

Deuce: also watches porn, not very often tho. He probably started out with very basic porn and one day he tripped and fell into a very specific niche kink he hasn’t been able to escape. He will never admit to it tho

Leona: the type of mf who would watch porn and not even delete the tab before letting someone borrow his phone. Also a fan of povs. Most when the other person is receiving. I feel like he would mostly watch it with the sound off bc he finds the exaggerated moaning irritating

Ruggie: doesn’t watch it super often but when he does it’s probably something that toes the line between satire and porn. He strikes me as a gangbang man

Jack: knows of porn but is too shy to actually look it up. He might find a loophole in erotica or playboy style mags (tho I don’t see him being into that stuff either) rip wolfy

Azul: doesn’t watch it super often but he does have a super secret account where he saves his favorites and revisits them. I think he might enjoy audio povs

Jade: I feel like he’s into porn but he’s so fucking weird I feel like he’s on a mailing list for like. Niche porn where it’s just people fucking in the woods while foraging or something. He watches it 50% for the porn and 50% for the plot

Floyd: another one that would enjoy satirical porn. Mer porn definitely exists in this universe and I think he would specifically enjoy porn involving land ppl and mer people. He’d probably find all the ways to mesh their anatomy fun

Kalim: has access to porn and has watched it but prefers his own imagination. Something about him doesn’t strike me as a porn guy. Maybe some like? Really fancy erotic artwork? But even then that’s more of something to get him in the mood, not to Jack off to

Jamil: likes role play porn with clear D/S tones. He knows what he likes. Too bad he doesn’t get much time to himself 💀

Vil: another one who doesn’t really enjoy watching porn. If he did he’d probably support individual adult content creators on other platforms. He’d send them lingerie and stuff and even then it’s more of a beauty thing than a sexual thing

Rook: another fan of the more homemade style of porn. He likes how intimate it feels. Probably another one who takes interest in specific actors tho he usually only stays interested for a little bit before moving on

Epel: didn’t have access to porn really until he got to NRC. Now he’s a mean lean masturbating machine. Just holes up in the first empty room with a lock at his dorm and picks the first video he finds. He’s got range (or a ton of pent up hormones)

Idia: hentai, I don’t need to elaborate. He’s a freak

Malleus: does not watch porn, probably doesn’t know what it is, would be somewhat interested but not really into it. He strikes me as the kind of guy who’s really only turned on by someone he knows well and is attracted to.

Lilia: he’s seen porn throughout the ages! (Id love to see an exhibit on that) a few videos might check all his boxes but over all there’s not much that does it for him. He’d rather use his imagination

Sebek: lmaooooo too repressed to watch porn. Some of the other first years might show it to him and he’d be scandalized. If he did give in and get off to it he’d be so ashamed afterwards tho

Silver: falls asleep in the middle of it. Probably watches it and tries to jerk off before bed but passes out before he’s done. Hopefully he wears earbuds or something.

NO THESE ARE SO ROGHT IM CRYING.

Ace has such shit taste and thinks those "stepbro" memes are funny. Floyd likes to find very fucking weird satire or expirmental videos like "how many ___ can i shove up my ass" and occasionally sends them to other people to mess with them. Jade and Deuce are part of the 'hyper specific and niche kink club'. Malleus can watch it with a straight face cause he's not interested.

Riddle and Sebek are so unbelievably down bad and repressed.

[sammchenry]

Mixi is better then Bethi be thankful

First of all, it's 'better than'

Secondly, they are both equally perfect. It is shameful that you'd ever say otherwise.

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Rank anon here with my most subjective ranking yet 🦗🦟🦗🦟🦗🦟🦗🦟🦗🦟

Ranking twst characters based on if my family would approve of them

Riddle: 7/10 polite, but kinda intense. I come from a proud line of fuckers who throw fireworks into bonfires and drive into lakes for fun. Well mannered but perhaps too well mannered,,, rip Riddle

Ace: 5/10 The opposite issue of Riddle, not uptight at all, also a rude little bitch. He gets an average score bc I am fond of him

Deuce: 9/10 they’d find the egg thing weird but otherwise he’s perfect. A mommas boy who can be polite and rowdy, almost perfect. Almost

Trey: 10/10 the kind of guy that makes your folks more excited about your wedding than you are. He bakes, he’s good with kids, he’s easy to get along with. What more could you want. The dental fixation can be overlooked they’ve ignored weirder.

Cater: 8/10 the older folks would find the social media thing weird but overall he’s fine

Leona: 3/10 Lazy, Rude and a member of the 1%? Fat chance that goes over well. They’d send him to help with the harvest and he’d fall asleep in the dirt. The respecting women bit boosts his score bc my family is run by women, but it’s doesn’t help him much.

Ruggie: 8/10 the theft thing wouldn’t look great but again, they’ve overlooked worse. Plus we love a bitch who can coupon. Him being community minded and good with kids is also a very plus.

Jack: 10/10 a good boy. He’d help with the chores and be very respectful what’s not to love? Backyard wedding here we come

Azul: 5/10 I feel it in my bones he’d hear their accents and try to talk down to them, that an he’s a capitalist? Yeah no, but once he gets a few dirty looks he’ll probably mellow out enough to be acceptable. Oh Azul 😔

Jade: either a 1/10 or a 10/10, it entirely depends on if he’s on his best behavior or not. Though knowing him he’s gonna forgo the meeting the family part and just fuck off into the woods to look for mushrooms.

Floyd: 3/10 weird and creepy but as long as you’re happy, that would be the general reception. Also probably wouldn’t help with the chores but there’s a chance he’d also clear a whole field by himself bc he thought it was fun.

Kalim: 9/10 overlooking the rich part in favor of the “is an angel” and good with kids part. Ugh he’s perfect Kalim. Would try to help with the chores but wouldn’t know what he’s doing. Would also need to be told not to do obviously dangerous stuff. But you can’t stay mad at him 💕

Jamil: 8/10 It must suck to get bested by Kalim in a category where you’d think he’d come out on top. They’d like him but it’s hard to beat Kalims sunshiney nature and therefore whatever he earns must be one less point than whatever Kalim got. His cooking skills and dancing would be a plus. I hope you can square dance baby boy

Vil: 6/10 he’d hate it and would probably refuse to do 80% of the chores he’s asked to and also turn down a lot of the food he’s offered but as long as he’s polite he can stay above a 5/10. He’s on thin fucking ice tho

Rook: another enigma. I can’t even give a number. They’d either hate him for his general weirdness (and frenchness) or they’d love him for his overall love of life and outdoorsy nature. He’d help with the chores but he might also disappear for 2 hours and return with knowledge of family secrets no one has spoken of in 30 years

Epel: 10/10 OF FUCKING COURSE. He’s perfect. 5 minutes in and preserves jars will be back on their way to Harveston. You don’t have to hide ur accent here bby <3

Idia: 4/10 lmao he spends all his time in the guest room on his tablet avoiding people and is rich? He’s lucky he’s not actively rude and has a cute little brother running damage control

Malleus: 7/10 he’s kinda weird and talks about gargoyles or whatever too much but he’s polite and helps out so they’d like him overall. He’d like that there are people who aren’t scared of him all over the place and the older folks would like that he listens to their stories with genuine interest. It’s cute till he’s penpals with all your relatives over the age of 50 (okay maybe it’s still cute)

Lilia: 10/10 do I need to even explain. He’s well mannered but would thrive in the chaos. Just don’t let him in the kitchen. We’ll throw him in the pool along with the watermelons

Silver: 8/10 he just stays awake long enough to make a pretty good impression on them and then falls asleep in the den. He will wake up with a quilt on top of him and a tinfoil covered plate of food in one of the fridges with his name on it 💛

Sebek: 4/10 no one minds that he’s loud but he’s kind of rude and abrasive. Probably tries to help with the chores but isn’t very good at it. Still I’ve got an uncle who honest to god thinks he’s a whole Viking so he won’t really stand out too much

And when the world needed them they returned.

Also this feels really... correct if that makes sense? Maybe cause my family is also insane

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Ope it’s rank anon I just sent in that bigass porn post but I can’t remember if I signed off or not, just letting you know <3

I got it and I'm laughing

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Thank you to all my adoring fans (?) - Rank Anon

Ofc rank anon