justalurkr replied to your post “A Series Of Revelations”
And you got paid in chicken and waffles, which is more than a great many preachers get. It sounds as if you and R know each other VERY well. The odds of you semi-officially officiating with much more warning than you got are (pick one) a. About equal to R printing out the sermon as promised; or b. Much, much lower. I'm b., by the way. Also, I'm sure you looked great & sounded better than Young Preacher!
Honestly, Young Preacher (who is like....my age) had on the badassest shirt I ever did see, it had gold embroidery of crosses on it and everything, he looked amazing. And I think he did a good job! But obvs. I don’t know all the history, and also the sense I got is just that The Matriarch is grieving the man who’s been her pastor for like 30 years, and taking it out on him. He seemed very good-natured about it all. Or maybe he was no more aware than I was of what was going on.
paxfelis replied to your post “A Series Of Revelations”
You should check with Q. You may have been adopted, with All That Entails.
I don’t think I’ve quite been adopted -- Grandma was nice, obviously approving, but not effusive per se. I am hoping however to angle for a hot meal and maybe a spare bed if I ever get back to that town, which I’d like to do because apparently there’s some amazing hiking just outside of the town limits.
That said, at one point R’s godfather told me, “I carried him to his baptism and drove him to his first communion, I witnessed him give his life to Jesus when he was fourteen, and I just stood for him at his marriage, so my work here is done,” followed by “Son, are you a Christian?”
I told him that I was raised Methodist, which is mostly true, and he said, “Close enough!” followed by the awkwardly long hug.
peonyaurora replied to your post “A Series Of Revelations”
No, the Young Preacher had to supervise the vows for that reason. I’m not ordained, though now I’m thinking I maybe should be.
redneckrhetorician replied to your post “A Series Of Revelations”
As someone who grew up in the south, this isn't surprising. Part of the reason there are so many tiny churches is that a grandmother/grandfather/someone back in the bloodline got mad at the preacher and refused to go back, and no one else in the family would argue with them.
Yeah, a lot of things sort of cleared up once I was aware that Young Preacher wasn’t well liked. I also suspect he might have *lowers voice* some ‘progressive’ views on worship.
junker5 replied to your post “A Series Of Revelations”
❤awesome!!! You don't mess w/sweet little old southern matriarchs! Family feuds, upset sweet little ladies in the church...this scenario happens way too often down south. If Grandma ain't happy....ain't nobody happy. You did right by your brother! I'm glad you'd met Q the week before...that could have added to the stress! I'm sure your mum was super proud of you...and it sounds like neither one of you were completely shocked. Your April IS crazy !!
Yeah, I don’t know what would have happened if Q thought Grandma wouldn’t approve of me. Maybe R’s friend from college, Porkchop, would have gotten the honors instead. (I don’t know Porkchop’s real name, I think it starts with an M.)
philosophykitten replied to your post “A Series Of Revelations”
Sounds like a typical Southern wedding in every way. There is always a relative/church member/neighbor you can't offend with a cranky old royal family member that has to give approval for what ever compromise is worked out. And acceptance is fine but actual approval is when everyone can breathe again.
Yeah, there was a definite sea-change the moment she Approved. Until then I was just like, a guy R knew, after that I was Himself.
drgaellon replied to your post “A Series Of Revelations”
SAM STARBUCK, YOUR LIFE, ISTG. It has been said before, but you are totally the star of a sitcom.
SAM SQUARED! I don’t remember why the sitcom is called that but I have the opening titles for it in meme form around here somewhere.
darkrose-9 replied to your post “A Series Of Revelations”
That's hilarious and amazing, and also speaks to the trust R has in you that he 100% believed you would be able to handle a FUCKING WEDDING with no sweat AND settle a brewing feud with little to no warning
I don’t know that I settled the feud, but I do feel like I have earned the position of Trusted Not To Fuck Things Up. :D
niennanir replied to your post “A Series Of Revelations”
It has become increasingly clear to me that you are inexperienced in Small Town Life because this is all Perfectly Normal™ and has happened a thousand times before and will happen a thousand times again to other naive Starbucks in small towns all around the world. It makes the whole thing no less entertaining on my part seeing as I was born in a town who's cows outnumbered the humans six to one.
I do feel like I would have figured this shit out sooner if I was aware of more small town conventions. I get along pretty well in Southern -- I’m not fluent, but thanks to Mama Tickey, The Last Of the Southern Belles, I understand a lot of southern convention. But it’s true that I’m still not 100% current on how small town life works.
(This is also how I know to say “I was raised Methodist” rather than “I am not a Christian” when asked. :D )
drownedinlight replied to your post “A Series Of Revelations”
Oh Sam.... I think there are select few people that this would happen to and you are one of them. And some how it seems to fit rather well with your life and the general energy you give off. Also, if you ever write a memoir, please option it into a film. I would very much enjoy reading and watching it.
Someday I’m gonna write R’s biography for him. Or maybe he’ll write it himself and I’ll get to do the screenplay. He did do a really good job on my sermon.
terrie01 replied to your post “A Series Of Revelations”
"Friend chicken" is the most perfect typo ever.
HAHAHAHAHAHA YES. It was a good friend to me, that fried chicken. Oh man it was so good. It was like little nuggets of fried breast skewered to tiny waffles, or you could get a big waffle wrapped around a wing or a drumstick.
One of the women at the reception said to me, “If I’d known the food would be this good I would have brought a dress that was a size up.”
splinteredstar replied to your post “A Series Of Revelations”
I'm glad it went.... well?
This is like the slogan of my life with R. Everything seems to have gone....well? But it’s sometimes hard to be sure.
lysapadin replied to your post “A Series Of Revelations”
This entire story is like the essence of your relationship with R.
Which I suppose is sort of appropriate. It’s like a chapter of his life is opening, and we certainly began it the way we closed the last one.
annemjw replied to your post “Okay I’m not giving A Reading, I’m giving The Reading. Like it’s the...”
How does this always happen to you, Sam?
It’s R. I mean imagine if HE had a blog. It would TOWER OVER mine.
peoniequeen replied to your post “Okay I’m not giving A Reading, I’m giving The Reading. Like it’s the...”
Sam, this is amazing. Only this could happen to you. Also this is the Ultimate Prank that someone could pull on their best friend.
There are definitely times I wonder if R is having me on about stuff, but honestly he’s so earnest, I always know when he’s joking.
rsfcommonplace replied to your post “Okay I’m not giving A Reading, I’m giving The Reading. Like it’s the...”
I see someone has beaten me to "Only you, Sam," so I shall just assume you carried off the unexpected assignment with panache.
Well, I certainly tried hard. Mum told me “Read with Emotion,” but I probably would have cried if I really did that so I read with A Lot Of Vocal Variation instead, which most people think is pretty much the same thing :D
It was a really well-written speech for reading. Like, he knew where to put all the stops and commas and even worked in two natural pauses for laughter.
ranuel replied to your post “Okay I’m not giving A Reading, I’m giving The Reading. Like it’s the...”
Better than being given 30 mins notice to officiate a funeral.
There’s a lot less humor to be found in that one, I will say.
junker5 replied to your post “Okay I’m not giving A Reading, I’m giving The Reading. Like it’s the...”
As you are such an amazing writer, I'm positive you were equally as amazing and eloquent as a "speaker". It's actually kinda touching...he wanted his brother to bless his vows. :D Winter Soldier High Tops just added character! Sorry our weather has been gross for your trip south.
It really is nice that he thought of me for the task. I assumed his wedding party would be his high school football buddies, the guys he ran with in college (a lot of whom have had him in their wedding parties) or his blues musician buddies, but while Q had several bridesmaids and her cousins were ringbearers and ushers, R just had me, and his godfather for his best man. But a lot of the high school and college friends were THERE, so I suppose he had who he wanted.
I actually thought Friday was really great, weather-wise, and while the rain on Saturday wasn’t great, at least it was in the morning and done by the time the wedding started. The only hiccup was that Mum woke me up at 4am on Saturday FREAKIN’ OUT over the tornado sirens.
wandererriha replied to your post “Okay I’m not giving A Reading, I’m giving The Reading. Like it’s the...”
Now picturing Bucky having to do something like this for one of the team. Good thing he has a Soldier Face to match the sneakers. Doesn't bat an eye. "*ahem* Dearly beloved..."
AHAHAHAHAHA. “Bucky, you’re a ringer for the preacher, just go and do this to keep our cover.” “Your ma always did say the way I read you the riot act I could have been a minister.” “Let’s keep the hellfire and brimstone to a minimum, okay?”
thornhands replied to your post “Okay I’m not giving A Reading, I’m giving The Reading. Like it’s the...”
to be fair, Sam, what we know about R I am surprised that you weren't called to officiate the weeding >_>
ladyvyola replied to your post “Okay I’m not giving A Reading, I’m giving The Reading. Like it’s the...”
Now that I have you all together. I can finally reveal the truth about the recent arson and the hidden secrets of this town.
Well, now I have the climax to Happy Scam-pers all sorted....
