i was wondering if u perhaps had a girltoya playlist? or a collection of songs that make u think of her/vice verca?
WHAT THE HELL HOW DID I MISS THIS ASK FOR 5 FULL ASS DAYS IM SO SORRY
hm!!! i do not have a playlist, and tbh my music taste often hones in on one thing at a time so i don't have a whooole lot of variety, but there are definitely some!! i ended up getting really long and yapful about each song so the ramblings are under the cut, here's the list of songs if you don't wanna read allat:
Object of Affection (Jamie Paige)
Couldn't Make It Any Harder (Sabrina Carpenter)
Sue Me (Sabrina Carpenter)
Name (Tsuzuri)
Shiawase (Omoinotake)
First Echo (Masakatsu Takagi)
it doesnt look like a long list but i wrote a whole essay about object of affection so you'd be surprised. i could also find more easily but i will restrain myself.
Object of Affection (Jamie Paige) - i associate this with toya just in general but i do especially like it for girltoya!! i think i posted it before and meant to elaborate but didnt oops. im elaborating. oh god it's really hard for me to not just put the entirety of the lyrics here
you can read this as in some sense harumichi's feelings about toya/the way toya views "him"self during the main story and before her egg fully cracks. it's really obvious there's not much for me to comment on. although, "purest in its ecstasy, temptation of atrocity" i like especially, the temptation being toya's freedom and the thought that she could be a girl like she wants. also of note is "a guided metamorphosis, but she won't get the memo", which i like to read as toya addressing herself; before fully embracing her girlhood, referring to it as a separate "she", lamenting that no matter how she tries to live it won't go away-- "a guided metamorphosis", her growth and experience and freedom with vbs, something that should make her feel free and happy but won't so long as that girl inside her stays hidden.
okay hehehe. "they don't even know what they wanna hear", it's so difficult for her, she's so unused to identifying and expressing her own feelings, she doesn't know what she needs or what she wants her friends to do for her. as the lyrics say, it's "subservience's consequence", the side effect of living under her father's rule for so long, "with time it will get better," she will, she is learning how to feel and express. "more freedom than she's ever known, a self-imposed identity" is again very obvious. it's new to her, and she loves it, but in the following line, it's scary and overwhelming too and sometimes it feels like too much. you can imagine "her cheek is cradled by a hand of pure machinery" as the virtual singers, which i especially like given my headcanon that she went to them as soon as she Realised. "she turned herself into a doll". do i have to say anything.
form and function fluctuate, no longer uncommitted
she's fluctuating and changing, as she transitions and grows into herself; she no longer views herself as "without resolve" like she did in the main story. she's fully committed, to their music, to their future, and to herself.
(i swear on my life, i’ll make it worth the while)
(never anything less than free!)
these i like to contextualise as mizuki and akito respectfully, though a more canon-compliant reading would be just akito. the first line as mizuki, encouraging toya to do this, to take her hand, step forward, wear the dress, be herself-- mizuki knows better than anyone that it's worth the struggle. and the second line as akito, reminding toya that this is her life and her freedom, and she has to grasp it tight, never to be taken from her again.
yeah. yeah. sob. yeah. she's going against her "function" and the "status quo" as one of harumichi's children-- she won't be his object, his perfect son. she'll be herself, Toya, born anew and perfect in all the ways she isn't meant to be. Yeah.
but maybe what you're missing is that twisted point of view
it was what she'd been missing. the so-called "twisted" people her father tried to protect her from, the "bad influences" she found in street music; it was with them that she found happiness, her true self, and the girl that she is supposed to be.
that segment was really long uhh i have more songs still lol.
Couldn't Make It Any Harder (Sabrina Carpenter) - yeah a different vibe lol!! but i like this song as girltoya within akitoya, specifically in the moments where it is difficult to be herself and to be with him, when it's hard to look at herself and believe the things he says about her.
these lyrics as that idea, akito is so eager to love her and hold her and touch her but toya can't accept those things when she feels so dysphoric that her own body starts to betray her and flinch away.
for the graveyard in my stomach
Filled with pivotal formative comments
Meanwhile, you're just tryin' to tell me I look nice
akito telling her that she's pretty, she looks nice, she looks beautiful, but toya can't believe that-- she can barely hear him over the comments about her height and sharp jaw and thin lips.
Sue Me (Sabrina Carpenter) - HAHA MOREEEE. yeah some lyrics here are crazy girltoya ive used it for a fic title.
THIS RIGHT. RIGHT!!!!!! toya being herself defiantly despite her father and anyone who takes offence to her girlhood. she is being herself and enjoying it and having fun and being pretty no matter what, because that's who she is!!
Name (Tsuzuri) - another i've used for fic titles! this is an anime op (for the girl i like forgot her glasses), tbh it mainly is a girltoya song to me because of the beautiful amv that exists in my head that moves from toya's realisation to her coming out to her transition and graduation and eventual adulthood. i used it for my girltoya graduation fic bc this song sparked the idea! it is a love song but i can still make it girltoya
still very much a love song, sure, but it is about her self-reflection and learning to love herself To Me. okay?
Shiawase (Omoinotake) - another anime op for horimiya piece and another love song, very much something that i view in sequence with name because it directly answers the question posed in the lyrics above:
The name of these feelings, let me softly
Whisper to you, it's called "happiness"
this reads similar to name to me, though leans more on romance/akty and toya's friendships: the journey towards happiness as she gets to know herself and learns to love life as it comes, accepting who she was and who she is and all that she can be, with the help of the love she finds surrounding her
yeah like okay sure i'll just die
First Echo (Masakatsu Takagi) - a weird addition since this song has no lyrics. this song is the opening piece to the wolf children soundtrack, a song about parenthood and growing up, and i used it for my fic where toya comes out to ken. it is permenantly in my head cemented as a girltoya song now so i thought id include it. my piano daughter.
UM i'll leave it there. my Yap. sorry i didnt mean to go on so much but i could probably get more ngl. i love her #MyDaughter
LISTEN. LISTEN OKAY I DIDN’T MEAN IT IM SORRY. i didn’t know that my actions would lead to this (being shown akitoya zootropolis abortion comic)… I never would have done it if I’d known…. Please jud I mean Raven please we can work this out
