#reaspoem

[rea-0f-sunshine]

For a special person @mostro-lounge-menu

✩⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩ · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · ✩ °｡⋆✩ °｡⋆ ✩ °｡⋆✩

Deep brown eyes

And hair the color of ink in a letter

However my heart has been tethered

Tethered in the chains of my past

And cemented in a wall of my tears

Marbled red and clear

Although, this poem isn’t about me

It’s about your beauty

You shine like the northern star

Always visible now matter how far

A compass to our home

If only my chains weren’t made of bone

The bones I used to own

Can no longer take me home

✩⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩ · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · ✩ °｡⋆✩ °｡⋆ ✩ °｡⋆✩

[rea-0f-sunshine]

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I used to be smart

But I realized no one likes a smart ass

So I played dumb

Letting everyone feel high and mighty

But it’s no longer an act

I’ve played a role for so long that I don’t know how to get out

I want to be me again

But I don’t know how

I want to be smart again

But no matter how hard I try

I’m not enough

I get compared to the old me

But the old me is lost

Needs rescuing

A damsel in distress

But I can’t be its knight in shining armor

I’m forced to be the dragon guarding the tower

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[rea-0f-sunshine]

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Even when the stars arnt out

And the moon isn’t full

The night sky is as beautiful as ever

It dosent have to be perfect

Dosent have to show itself to the world who covered it up

It can cry

And shout

And strike trees down

But it will always be beautiful

Even standing next to the setting sun

Where all the colors of beauty are mixed into one view

Even standing next to street lights that resemble a pathway back home

The night sky will be as beautiful as the bright shining heavens

Even if it hides behind the storming clouds

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[rea-0f-sunshine]

✩⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩ · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · ✩ °｡⋆✩ °｡⋆ ✩ °｡⋆✩

Yelled at again

But this time was different

I wasn’t angry or sad

Didn’t scream or cry

I was comforted by the silence

No thoughts

No feelings

Just existing

I could feel that something in me wanted to scream and beg why does it never stop

But the nothingness was like a tightly sealed jar keeping it away

Keeping me whole

Keeping me from exploding

Keeping me from the knife in my drawer

Keeping me safe

✩⋆｡°✩ ⋆｡°✩⋆｡°✩ · · ─ ·𖥸· ─ · · ✩ °｡⋆✩ °｡⋆ ✩ °｡⋆✩

[rea-0f-sunshine]

𓆟𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓆝𓆟𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

They say every pictures worth 1000 words

But what is one word worth

They say actions speak louder than words

So why do I speak

My voice is meaningless untill there’s a problem

We’re not supposed to use violence

An action

Were supposed to talk it out but why

When words are worthless

My voice scilenced

And people ask why I don’t speak

They assume I’m shy

But I just don’t like wasting my energy or time

For I only have so much

I use it to survive

I don’t even thrive

My emotions arnt conveyed through actions

But words hold no weight

So no one knows the burned I hold

If life was a game of cards

I would always chose to fold

Scared to get everything taken

But knowing asking for a way out won’t work

Unless if I speak a thousand words

Will they see the picture I try to paint?

𓆟𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓆝𓆟𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

[rea-0f-sunshine]

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Nameless

Faceless

Emotionless

The less I feel

The better things get

The more I pretend

The more I’m liked

The less they see

The more they think they notice

But they don’t know me

I don’t know me

I’m a shell of what I was

But even then I was a child

I was riding unicorns

And playing mermaids

Now I pay bills

And work 9-5

Just to live

But am I even living

Or just surviving

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[rea-0f-sunshine]

𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆞𓆝 𓆟

Why

That’s all I can get out

Through my tears

Through my sobs

But no one’s even there

Just me

In my shattered reflection

Begging

Why

Wishing they would hear

Hear how they hurt me

Hear my cry’s for help

Why did they do it

Why did they hurt me

The only word in my mind

The only question I can’t answer

Is Why

So I beg

No plead

On my knees

Like I’m trying to ask for mercy on the brink of death

Why.

Why even bother

None of my reflections will ever answer

Not you

Not anyone

So why am I begging

Why am I asking myself why you did it

I hoped there was a reason

One I could accept

But I knew there wasn’t

So why?

Why even try

𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆟 𓆞𓆝 ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ ‧₊˚ ⋅𓆟 𓆞𓆝 𓆞𓆝 𓆟

[rea-0f-sunshine]

———⋆°•☁︎°⋆.𖥔 ݁⋆°☁︎.𖥔 ݁☾ ⋆°•☁︎°⋆.𖥔 ݁⋆°☁︎.𖥔 ݁———

How can you look at me and pretend you never hurt me

When I can’t even look at myself

My mirror is my biggest enemy

But your words are all I see in the reflection

Not me

Not what I once was

But what you say I am

I’m lost in my thoughts

That are not even mine

You play me like a tune you’ve played a hundred times

And I sing along

Not knowing it was a spell to hurt me

Because you would never do that to someone you love

But now I understand love comes with a price

And yours is expensive

———⋆°•☁︎°⋆.𖥔 ݁⋆°☁︎.𖥔 ݁☾ ⋆°•☁︎°⋆.𖥔 ݁⋆°☁︎.𖥔 ݁———