#recalling memories

[essztipesszti]

Recalling memories with good old friends at late night is one of the best things in the world.

0128

[sspacegodd]

That time in July, 2016 when General Flynn was repeatedly unable to get the crowd to chant "USA! USA! USA!"

But 8 years later, and they'll chant for anything.

[i-perfect-please]

When I was little, my sister who is out of college now, took my DS cos I wasn't playing Barbies with her. Every time I asked her about it she lied and said I lost it somewhere so one day when no one was around I searched her room and I found it in like 20 seconds. No one in my family believes me when I tell that story even though my dad was there for it.

[joychaosxx]

College

I went to community college. Youre favorite underachiever going to college. All my older friends werw there a year or two ahead of me. I dont really know what was different but it was one of the only times i actively was able to fit in and make friends. Mind you it was with outcast types but still. I didnt use social buffers to get frienda like i had when i was younger. Think it had to do with it being a small down and knowing everyone.

Around my second semester i met my first boyfriend. From what he told me, he was crushing on me from the first day of english class. I remember the first time i actually talked to him. I was struggling to open a fruit cup, one i would pick up from the cafeteria every single day before class amd every single day spill the juice all over myself and desk. He grabbed my cup and opened it for me. Thats how we started talking. From there we talked more and eventually convinced me to goto his house.

I honestly didnt understand whst he wanted when we got there, but apparently he wanted sex. I think somewhere between making out and laying in his bed, him between my legs giving him a neutral maybe lost expression he figured out i was a virgin and stopped.

As far as i could tell i could never understand mens intentions. I didnt understand how they percieved my non actions as cues to come onto me. I was a prime example of a lost kitten. As they fondle and kissed me i was in my head "why is he doing that, whst am i suppose to do, am i suppose to do something" i am thankful the men i did like took notice of me being nonverbal.

College was interesting, met a lot of people, heart broken a lot. Since i ended up dating a jock i got to taste what popularity was like and was invited to all the college parties. Ones other ppl were jealous i got to attend. It was a weird experience that just as soon as i moved to a completely new state.

Back to square one. The one thing i noticed in my life is that change destorys a part of me. I never settle in somewherw quite like that last place and it always takes me years to. I never acclimated to my new city which made me severeky depressed. I was never formally diagnosed by a psychologist, just a primary care physician with a short questionnaire. I was never given therapy or drugs, i was advised to try vitamins and flower essence drops. I suspect o never had depression and whst i was experiencing was autistic burnout. Vitamins cant make depression go away.

[skylers-journaling]

[ravenous-kiss]

i missed my junior high physics session so bad :(

[dvgenerate]

Thought

Recalling feelings from past events is easy for me. Like shit, I can still blush from when I got caught singing (probably terribly) to sleeping children when I was little. I was like fucking 7. I consider that to have started my shyness.

[regularbeans]

The coolest thing Tom did during the Big Meeting...

...was reading @mystrea 's mouth. I mean, the girl speaks in English really awesomely, no problem with it, but Tom obviously had problems with understanding it, and it was just so sweet how he bowed a bit, leant closer and he was like moving his lips along with my friend's. You could tell he doesn't get a word but he's trying to read her lips :D It was just too lovely to ignore :D