[2/3] My exhaustion of trying was hitting its max. I felt out of options. This cyclical nature of sabotage continued to happen because that’s all I knew. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It went something like this; ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ try, find some success, act as if I was undeserving of said success, talk shit to myself, live in fear of failure, fail, try, fail, cry, overwhelming sadness, desperation, cry, try again…. Wash, rinse, and mf REPEAT. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Giving up felt like a great solution. Why try to fully be myself when it was easier to just exist and not try at all?? I had no idea what to do. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I knew I wasn’t living but I wasn't exactly dying either. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ This seemingly endless purgatory felt like living hell. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Depressed, exhausted, and out of ideas, I reached out for help. I was In my early 20’s when I joined a personal healing program; a gamble, but I felt I had nowhere else to turn. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I was scared of what lay ahead but even more scared of continuing on this way. That being said, in my first class, I felt a wave of calm come over me like never before. There might finally be a solution to my suffering. A light at the end of a long dark tunnel. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Is this what living felt like? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I had a taste of this new reality and there was no way I was going back. From then on, I was committed. To learning. To loving. To living. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ • • • • • #insporationalquotes #relatableteenquotes #quotesabouthappiness #quoteofftheday https://www.instagram.com/p/CDocMBjjypk/?igshid=du2q1ak0881q
