#rem0vall

[rem0vall]

Are you coming back into my arms

To love me again?

I love you

I miss you

I need you now

More than ever

More than words can say

I love you and I miss you.

I need you more today.

[rem0vall]

I wonder how easy it is to just ignore people, like one day they ask you to go out with them and they back out an hour before; or when somebody talks to you out of the blue and you just talk and talk and suddenly after a week they just cut communication; or how one night you both get tipsy or drunk and conversation gets endless, then the next day they act like nothing happened or you don’t know each other, when practically that night you both talked about your worlds, the real you.

I wonder how easy it is not to feel anything after backing out. Just slowly, moving away, and fading.

Cause one day i’d like to feel that too. To slowly slip away from people who think i’d always be there.

[rem0vall]

122815

I've wondered if I ever crossed your mind... as you walked through the Reading Room and remembered how you saw me sitting there smiling at you; as you walked through the ultrasound room and remembered how you've borrowed my book; as you walked through the results table and remembered me sleeping, tipsy a little, and woke me up as you passed by, I smiled and said "good morning"; as you sit in the staff room eating and remembered me passing by, laughing, and when I looked at you I waved hello; as you walked through the residents quarters and remembered my last duty and we both said goodbye. I was a nobody, an intern, trying to be invisible but I caught your eye. If ever the way you looked at the department changed, I hope it's because of me. If you pass through those walls that are vague but now are oh so familiar... I hope you would remember me.

[rem0vall]

November 15, 2015

I will never forget The way you looked at me, The way you smiled, The way your eyes shined.

I will never forget The way I looked at you, The way I smiled, The way my eyes shined.

I will never forget The collywobbles in my stomach The flushed feeling on my face The laughs that we both had.

And I will never forget The way you covered Your eyes with your hands As I was moving Closer, Closer, Closer.

You removed your hands, Opened your eyes.

I’m here. Always have. Always will be.

[rem0vall]

8/12/15 11:46PM

No. I refuse to fall in love with your words; your smile; the way you look at me with smiling eyes;

And I refuse to fall in love with that specific day…

That day when I was at the corner reading a book; You borrowed it, acting so interested flipping those brown pages that made no sense, and gave it back with a different smile on your face I haven’t seen yet.

No it was not about the smile.

It was about how you reached out.

It was a book after all. Nobody would ever want to be interested. Nobody would ever ask. But you did. You tried. And held on to it. Read a few pages.. Until it was time to leave.

I cant get closer. I refuse to.

You're a doctor. Ive observed too much to know what they're like. So no.

[rem0vall]

I am a storm; and no matter what you do, there will always be a time where you end up hurt if you come closer.

[rem0vall]

7/30/15

He smiled at me the way he hadn't smiled at anyone else. That was when you had me.

[rem0vall]

I love the way you borrowed my book; I could stare at you for hours as you read, and tell you after how you reminded me of the night: Dark, yet can shine the darkest corners of my soul.