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I've never in my life felt the "I don't know how to explain to you that you should care about other people" more than I have now with the current state of my country because I genuinely do not fucking know how to explain anymore that you should care about other people
is it just me or am i seeing more and more blogs just posting really generic 0 note memes from 5 years ago and some just posting some really random almost facebook-y text posts, so far i haven't seen any of them even post links or anything (at least not on their posts) so idk what's up with this sudden wave of bots again or has it just always been like this
when you guys breakdown and say a bunch of bullshit do you ever suddenly default to almost formal speak to say exactly what's on your mind even though you're currently still in tears and your face is itchy from the crying and you've cried so much you're tired but you feel bad for saying a bunch of weird bullshit so it's like your brain either factory resets or boots in safe mode and you don't know what's happening but this is likely the best course of action you can do in this very moment so it's like you lock in for 30 seconds to write a straight forward message of exactly what you should have said in the first place instead od weird bullshit that doesn't make any sense not even to you and then you continue breaking down in your own time where no one can ever see or hear you
i bother someone by accident bc i didn't know they were particularly busy and now i have to kill myself immediately
122 pulls. I've been waiting for her release since forever and have been trying to get her the second she dropped i got 2 separate fake outs trying to get her i am fucking numb
tumblr has been showing me more and more posts that piss me off lately on the for you tab that reminds me a lot of how other social medias like instagram will show you things they know will piss you off regardless if the post itself is genuine or just bait in hopes that you'll engage with the post by commenting. hm. much to think about
maybe a mildly controversial take but I think some people wildly overreact to bad movies. Maybe it's just because I'm easy to please but like, idk man I don't think it was an insult to the entire franchise that shits on everyone that's ever worked on it, I think it was fine, not great but you know, it was just ok. And even if it was objectively bad and boring, that's ok, it's not that serious
I'm so tired of feeling like this man. I'm always exhausted and i never have the motivation to do anything. not in a depression way, but in an executive dysfunction way and it fucking sucks. ever since my ADHD meds stopped working it's been hell, and i can't go back to my psychiatrist because we don't have the money to pay for any medication but my seizure medication anymore, which I'm greatful for but I wish I had something for my ADHD as well. I miss when I was functional and could actually do work. I've tried everything, splitting up task into smaller tasks, making schedules, making lists, all those tips for managing ADHD, I have tried, nothing works, at best they work for a very short period before they don't. alarms used to work to get me to do things but even that doesn't work anymore. it took me over a month to watch a fucking 3 minute music video my friend wanted my input on, over a month, for a video that is 3 minutes long. like what the fuck. I'm so tired of feeling like this, i just want it to stop, i want to be functional again but without money there's nothing i can do and I hate it. I'm so scared it's gonna get worse. the thing is, it's the work that's the issue, I don't have the motivation to do my assignments unless I absolutely crunch them, that's the only time I actually do anything, when I'm under time pressure but I know that's not a good way to operate but I literally have tried to do shit on time and I just. can't. can't tell my mom since she'll dismiss me, can't tell my sister since she's on her spiritual kick right now, my brother is the only one that would understand but he's been busy so I don't know if I should even reach out, and whenever medication is brought up so many people around me just talk at me about how bad it is to be dependent on medication and I just don't know what to do anymore. The only thing I have motivation for is going out to have fun and do fuck all because it forces my body to be in having fun mode and gives me the energy I've been missing, being outside gives me the energy because my body is in fun socializing mode, it's why I've been wanting to go out so much even when I don't have the money for it, I'm so desperate for that energy I'll take any crumb i can get for even 20 minutes. The only person I've told about this is my partner, but maybe I'll try and reach out to my brother, he's busy but he always tries to make time for family however he can, and he has ADHD too so maybe he'll have some advice that isn't the same generic shit i see on every article and reddit thread about tips on managing ADHD. I'm just tired of feeling tired all the time, I wanna be functional again.
