I think about how many things can change from timeline to timeline. There are people with very similar lives both inside and outside of this system and they're all so sweet. Where does it leave me? It's like my saturation is all wrong. I don't fit into the story they keep telling in here. I wish I actually was a kind and caring person who would die for a girl he barely met, or like some batshit evil motherfucker. Cause in the end I'm kinda stuck in the middle. Like I try to be decent and then I get tired and leave a wholeass child in the abusive situation, or tell my abuser's fiancee that he's actually a huge asshole and break her heart. I know a lot of people who became softer and kinder after trauma, my best friend for example, but I just don't know what the hell is wrong with me. The most relatable thing about the whole vampire narrative is that I have like no clue how to human and that kinda sucks, ya know - Renfield