I'll Always Wonder What You're Up To
It's been two years. Two long years since that fated day where he reached a point of no returns. Two years since the final goodbye to his first love. Two years since he became one of the groomsmen to her wedding. Two years since he shed a silent tear because of her. He was grateful that Sunwoo was chosen to be the best man. Taek knew better than to put him through that, so he was glad to be a largely silent part of the wedding party. Unlike Sunwoo's wedding to Bora, the party was bigger. There way no way to escape the cameras and TV coverage. "Why don't you guys just elope? Get married in a courthouse," he had joked when the couple confided to the group about their stress. 'So I don't have to be there to watch...' he added inwardly. He hated being this bitter about the happy occassion. He knew he had no reason to be because he brought this upon himself. Choi Taek persisted while he resisted. Choi Taek confessed while he digressed, making everything out as a joke. Choi Taek didn't leave anything to chance while he watched his chances fleet by, time and time again. So it's only natural that Choi Taek got the girl while he didn't. "You know why Taekkie is good at Baduk, right? It's not because he's a genius but because he's competitive and he doesn't stop until he's number one," Sunwoo said back when they were in high school. Perhaps that knowledge was enough to make him give up on the race before it even began. All these years... he's been fooling himself into thinking that he lost her to his best friend when in reality, there was no competition to begin with. He had conceded defeat th moment he knew that Taek entered the race. 'Kim Junghwan, you cowardly bastard,' he cursed himself in the car as he vowed to shed his final tear for her - for his lost love, for the one that never was. He car stopped at a familiar corner. He sighed and looked up to see the deserted neighborhood. As he walked down the alley, he breathed in the changed air. It's no longer filled with the comforting scent of home-cooked meals and dirt, replaced with nostalgia and a tiny hint of exhaust fumes. He couldn't suppress his smile though. He could see his friends, running out of their respective homes to catch the bus in the morning. He could see them run to Taek's house after a brief phone call informing them of his arrival. He could hear Sunwoo and himself while Taek silentl chimed in, yelling at Dongryong because inevitably farted during their sleepovers. He could hear it all and his heart ached in longing. "What are you up to, Deok Sun-ah?" he whispered as he stared at the grafittied door that led to their house. He knows he can easily find out. She's speed dial number 6 on his phone with his mom being 2, his dad being 3, his hyung in number 4, and Taek occupying number 5. But he's let go and even if it is so, a part him will always see her as his first love and he couldn't do that to Taek. Before he could delve deeper into his own memories and thoughts, his phone vibrated in his pocket. His speed dial number 1. He smiled before answering, "What?"