Loyalty Tests
I am not sure how we have gotten here- but it seems like loyalty is the mainstream value in the modern world.
Loyalty in and of itself is not a bad thing. The problem I see is the expected loyalty to family units or job requirements or “the way things are” or society at large- all over loyalty to oneself.
See many of us are told by relatives I’ll love you no matter what. But it seems most love is conditional based upon absolute acceptance of the way things are or ought to be.
When push comes to shove, one step out of line can be extremely punished. Any question of doubt about the unit is immediately ostracized.
Not even factoring in actual neglect or abuse, just having the audacity to choose oneself or to begin the process of questioning the ways things are can be extremely difficult.
So why is that one choice met with such resistance? With negativity? With disdain? With figurative pearl-clutching and “how dare you’s?”
I would argue that the value of loyalty is so ingrained that most of us don’t even know we are prioritizing it as a value. Honestly, most people don’t even know what their values are anymore.
No wonder they are resistant to change. Change is scary when you’re clinging to the ideals of a static fixed life.
I know several people that are going through the process of removing toxic people from their life. In doing so, they have lost others along the way and I have seen them judged harshly and critically. Rarely have I seen anyone take the time to learn the story. Or ask Or “How can I support you during this hard time?”
Let’s stop putting loyalty to others on a pedestal. Let us honor the courage to be different and ask questions. Let’s follow others on the journey and be willing to trust their instincts. Maybe in doing so, we can learn to trust our own.
